Monday, November 03, 2008
Slow me down, Lord…
Remind me each day
That the race is not always
won by the fastest runner;
That there is more to life
than increasing its speed
~Wilfred A. Peterson
I read this and immediately thought how true it is. I have been reading about members of our teams running different races and marathons and thinking how I wish I could do that but knowing that I will probably never “run” a race. But at the same time, I know that I can "walk" a race or do a walk-a-thon and complete it. I will be doing several “walks” during the next year helping to raise cancer, diabetes, and autism awareness and raising money for their research. Maybe I will even be able to participate in the jump rope-a- thon for the heart association. I will not give up!!!
Since joining Spark People and with the support and encouragement of many members, whether they know it or not, I am now able to walk and ride my bike several miles a day. When I first started Spark, I didn’t do any posting…I didn’t know what to say and I’m normally not a sharing-type person. So I read everything I could. I prayed a lot and I read all the threads on the teams I belonged to, learning many different things that helped others to get healthier, reduce blood pressure, cholesterol and triglycerides, and getting their diabetes under control. I didn’t post anything, these people didn’t know me and I couldn’t bare myself and my problems to these total strangers. Thinking about doing that just made me shudder!! But I followed some of their suggestions and did what I could. They said take baby steps…one day at a time…start out and do what you can…change one thing at a time…add a little to what you do every day...it all adds up!
That was 13 months ago…Guess what. They were absolutely right!!! I have lost 80 pounds, actually jump on the trampoline, walk and ride my new bike several miles a day, do stretching and strengthening exercises and I am able to smile and breathe while doing so. When I first started I could hardly walk out to the end of my sidewalk (approximately 50 feet) to get my newspaper or climb my steps without stopping to catch my breath. Now I do the stairs two or three times several times a day just for the exercise. I do not do all my walking or bike riding at one time…I break it down and do it several times a day also. I am just now starting to do the zumba, beginning level…at my own speed of course. It all adds up and it works!!!
Now that is not to say that roadblocks are not thrown in my path. Things sometimes get out of control. But there is always something good in everything that happens…I don’t always see it immediately, but it is there. I just recently hit a couple of those roadblocks, but I will get beyond these also. Life is for the living and I am now enjoying life not just letting it pass me by or getting through the day, praying for a new day and missing out on what is happening now. Live in the now!!
Lord, you have slowed me down again. Remind me and show me what I am missing, let me stop and smell the roses, don’t let me simply rush through the days…LET ME LIVE THEM. That is what life is about…living the journey and the lives I have touched and helped along the way. Let me be a vessel to spread the spark and Your word and works to others. I have been so blessed and just want to help others as I have been helped. Thank you. Amen.
Thank you Spark People… to the many who may already know and those who will never know how their postings have helped me and others.
Always remember the sun will come out tomorrow!!!
Share a smile and a hug
Never give up!! There is always hope!!
Saturday, November 01, 2008
The Lord...richly blesses all who call on him. Romans 10:12 This is the saying on my Grace for the Day calendar for today and is so appropriate.
My life is full of strange twists and turns. Praise God that He is always there for me. All I can say is, “It’s me again, God…” and he knows.
I went yesterday at 1:30 for my CT to determine why I have total blockage between my kidney and bladder. With my mom’s death, funeral, and everything else that was happening this week, I forgot to stop and pick up the contrast that I was supposed to drink one hour before my scan. I remembered it on my way to the hospital, called them and decided I would just pick up the contrast and reschedule the test before heading home. Upon arriving at the hospital and talking with the girl in the x-ray department, she said they had plenty of time for me to drink the contrast and still do the scan. I agreed to go ahead and get it done because McKenzie’s mom had taken the afternoon off work to help out at her school’s Halloween party and I had the rest of the day free. The girl who registered me for the scan had a great time…the prescription was written for a scan with contrast and was not signed by the doctor. She asked me the physician’s name and what the scan was for...what part of the body. She could not register me for the test because of the incomplete prescription. After calling the doctor’s office, we waited for her to fax a new prescription. While I was waiting, I walked back over to the x-ray department to let them know what was happening. She had the contrast ready for me to drink. I went ahead and drank it because they had to wait one hour after it was gone before they could do the scan. Ok so we were good to go…it didn’t taste as bad as I had been told either. I went back to registration to finishing signing in and they had received the new signed prescription. She sent me back to x-ray where the girl told me they were ready to do the scan. When I replied that it had only been ten minutes not sixty, she said that was okay and the technician would explain things to me. It turns out that the doctor had changed the orders to do the scan without the contrast and only use the contrast if necessary. After the test was completed and I was dressed, they technician took me back to the waiting room while the radiologist read the scan. Within five minutes, the girl in the waiting room told me the doctor was on the phone…after asking me what kind of doctor she was to which I replied a kidney specialist. She rolled her eyes at me and handed me the phone. While talking with the doctor, she asked me which kidney we were checking…uh, she never told me where the problem was…she thought it was the right kidney. This made me a bit nervous. Then she goes on to tell me she is sending the report over to my primary care doctor and my doctor would have to send me to a urologist for surgery as I had total blockage possibly from massive scarring from a very old kidney stone or many tumors…she wasn’t sure which and only a specialist could determine that. When I asked what her specialty was she replied that she was a kidney specialist but she only tests and diagnoses, she doesn’t actually treat my problems. The girl in the ER told me that she had already faxed the report to my regular doctor and if I didn’t receive a phone call from her Monday morning by 10 am, I was to call her and see what she wanted me to do next, what urologist to send me to, and get an appointment made. This isn’t something to fool around with she said. I could tell she wasn’t at all impressed with my kidney specialist. I guess Monday will bring some more good news of one form or another. Murphy’s Law has kicked in again. lol
I praise God that He has given me a sense of humor…even if it is a bit twisted sometimes.
I thank God for always being there for me.
My family who loves me unconditionally
My spark family and friends who support, encourage and pray for me
My blessings which are too numerous to list
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my blogs!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Roses Will Bloom Again ~ Jeff and Sheri Easter is a song I listen to often as it brings me so much comfort when I need it and lifts my spirit when I am down…sometimes brings a few tears but always uplifting to me. I keep a copy in my car and one on my desk. I am blogging this just to write down my feelings this morning.
I am not sure yet whether I am happy or sad. I received a phone call at 5:00 this morning. I was asleep when I heard my cell phone vibrate in the next room and I knew immediately what had happened. Good news never comes in the middle of the night or the early hours of the morning. By the time I got to my cell phone, of course, I missed the call. I immediately hit redial and was instantly talking with my baby brother. He was calling to tell me that he was at my mother’s house and the ambulance was there to take her to the hospital. But I knew that wasn’t true, I knew in my heart that she had already passed away. She has gone to be with our Lord. In a matter of less than a minute, my youngest sister was on the phone crying, saying that she knew mom had taken her last breath. (She and I have been with several people in that last moment of life, so she knew.) Many of you know that she hasn’t been well and was given just days to live several months ago especially if she didn’t start dialysis. She refused dialysis and did a living will with her doctors. She said at that time she was tired of being tired and was ready to go home with God as soon as he was ready for her. Well God must have been ready this morning. Now I know that I am supposed to be sad…but I am so happy that she has now gone to heaven that I can not be sad for her. I am, of course, sad for all the family members that she has left behind especially as I am afraid several do not believe. She has left a legacy of 13 children, 28 grandchildren and numerous great grandchildren which are scattered worldwide. Many hearts are breaking this morning but those of us who really knew my mom and her love of our Lord are rejoicing with her today. This is the beginning of her forever. She is suffering no more and to me that is most wonderful. I know that many of our family members will think I am cold and unfeeling. That isn’t true. I love my mother dearly but I know what she has gone through her entire life, the pain she has endured and suffered…losing five children due to divorce in 1960, then losing two of those children to death, a ten-year-old daughter and a twenty-one-year-old-son…and most recently due to emphysema, diabetes, kidney failure, cancer, strokes, etc. Of course if anything good can come of a stroke, my mom was very lucky. Over a course of several “mini” strokes and having stints or shunts put in, the only “issue” she had was that she forgot she was a smoker. My response to that was AMEN! No one told her any differently and no one smoked around her after that although I have a brother and several sisters that still indulge…and they all have breathing issues. I can’t imagine the addiction they must have, but that’s a different story.
Today is a new beginning. It is raining so the heavens are crying also as the angels are shedding tears of joy for a sister coming home. I know we will all shed many tears in the upcoming days…but mine will be tears of sorrow that she will not be with me physically any longer, I can’t call her on the phone, or see her in town but also tears of happiness that she is truly at peace and is no longer suffering. She will be with me always in my mind and in my heart and she will rest with our Lord forever. Her suffering is over. Praise God.
May the Lord grant mercy on all of us.
To my family members reading this, please remember: We don’t like to say good-bye to those whom we love. It is right for us to weep, but there is no need for us to despair. She had pain here on earth but she has no pain in heaven. She struggled here but has no struggles there. You and I might wonder why God took her home. But she doesn’t. She is, at this very moment, at peace in the presence of God. May the hope of heaven give each of us peace and may the tender touch of the Father bring us comfort.
Pain only exist in the human form
God believes in me as I believe in Him.
He gave his son for me.
My parents who loved me, although both are now deceased
Friday, October 24, 2008
Lord…give me the gift of faith to be renewed and shared with others each day. Teach me to live this moment only, looking neither to the past with regret, nor the future with apprehension. Let love be my aim and my life a prayer. ~Roseann Alexander-Isham
I read this today and knew that God meant this for me. I have been a little upset with my doctors this week and have been a bit down about their seemingly ineptitude. I have prayed on this but the mistakes seem to keep coming. I know in my heart that God is using me to teach them to be more careful. I have been very tired for some time and just assumed it was because I was eating so few calories. On Friday, 10/10, I went to the lab for my urinalysis testing that my kidney specialist wanted for my appointment with her on Monday 10/22. I received a phone call on Tuesday from her that I needed to have a urine C&S done as there was something there. Now that really threw me…I thought maybe aliens had landed in my kidneys…never thought she was talking about bacteria (an infection) and the urine C&S was a urine culture and sensitivity test. The sensitivity part was to know which antibiotic would kill the bacteria. (I checked it out on the internet.) She was dropping a script in the mail to get it done. I received and completed it on Wednesday, hoping that my primary doctor might have the results on Thursday. That didn’t happen as the test takes 48 hours. I went to my primary doctor last Thursday and she was most informative and helpful. She was happy with my lab work, etc. She wrote my prescriptions so that they would be covered under our $4.00 plan, (Giant Eagle, WalMart, Rite Aid, etc.) as I exhausted my prescription coverage back in June and it doesn’t pick up again until January 2009. One of them wasn’t covered under the $4.00 plan, but the price was still pretty reasonable. I just can not continue paying $800.00-$900.00 a month any longer for meds.
When I went to the kidney specialist on Monday, she didn’t have the results of the urine C&S test. My kidney function went from 49 to 55 which although it is CKD, Stage 3, to me it sounds better…by 6 points. I have to remain on the limited protein and limited carb diets. I am used to that now even if my body sometimes yells at me wanting those bad, bad foods. lol It is just too few calories for my body to function well…that is my opinion; 600-800 calories is just way to low. (sigh) My kidney doctor called me about half an hour after I returned home from her office and told me that somehow, she had missed reading the last line of the ultrasound report that I had done four months ago…which said that the tube going from the kidney to the bladder on one side was totally blocked or kinked shut. (I had already been told that the ultrasound showed everything was good…no blockage, stones or anything.) Amazing!!! Now I had to schedule an appointment to have a cat scan done of the kidneys which, because she was working out of a temporary office in Waynesburg, she would send the script on Tuesday when she was in her regular office. Tuesday I received a phone call with the results of the Urine C&S and she wanted call in a prescription for me. I picked up and started the Cipro and by Thursday I was feeling the result of heavy antibiotics in my system, so I called my primary care doctor and asked if she would call in a prescription for a Diflucan. They said I could pick it up after 4 pm. McKenzie and I stopped to pick it up on our way to soccer practice. It wasn’t there but the pharmacist called the doctor’s office and she gave him a prescription for Bactrim. DUH!!! When he asked me if that worked for me, I said yes, but I was surprised that I would have to take Cipro and Bactrim at the same time. He looked in the computer and started to “snicker”. I said if that is what she wanted me to take, I would do it, but I definitely would need that Diflucan for sure. He called the doctor’s office back and got it straightened out….took half an hour and McKenzie and I were late for soccer practice…not a big deal.
I just could not believe that Murphy’s Law had really kicked in and kicked my butt. I couldn’t even count it as cardio. lol I received the kidney doctor’s prescription in the mail this morning for the CAT scan and called the hospital to schedule it. She asked me to read the script which I did “CT Scan w/wo contrast”. She asked me what they were to scan and I explained. They couldn’t use a script that was not more detailed…it could have meant my head or any other part of my body. (laughing) After giving her the doctor name and phone number, she called and got that straightened out. She wanted to know if I wanted her to tell the doctor when the appointment would be or was she to call me back. I, of course, asked her to call me because I wasn’t sure if I would get the message. Within ten minutes she had talked with the doctor, the CT scan scheduled, and called me with the appointment…10/30 at 1:30. However I have to get a prescription now for a BUN and Creatinine test before they can do the scan with contrast. Laughing as I type this…here we go again. I am stopping to pick that up on my way to McKenzie’s house.
What happens next in this saga? Stay tuned!
Love and hugs to all who are reading this,
Praise God for He truly takes care of me…leading me when necessary and carrying me when needed. He is always there for me no matter what.
My health…which is actually good
My family and friends
My Spark friends who are always here to support me
Others too numerous to mention
Thank you for stopping by and reading my blog. God bless you.
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