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More craziness...just a different day

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Monday…Well, I called my primary care doctor this morning and she said the preliminary radiologist report of my CT scan said that I had a 7mm non-obstructive stone on the left side and that I needed to have a cystoscopy/ureteroscopy done and she would call the urologist in McMurray (next to Pittsburgh) and schedule an appointment with him. I had already left home to go to McKenzie’s school to help work the Book Fair when the call came in to return their call. Ken called my cell phone and gave me the number to contact them and set up the appointment. When I explained who I was and why I was calling, the girl asked if I just wanted to go ahead and schedule my surgery or if I wanted an appointment to actually talk with the doctor before the surgery. Okay, I am from the country and may not know how things work in the bigger cities, but I am not that far out of touch with reality! I may not like the options but there is no way I am going to have surgery without knowing exactly what is going on. I’ve been there and done that back when I was young and trusting…wrong answer!! Now I am not sure if this doctor is the best choice either. I think this is about to be a small speed bump for may slow me down but it won't get me down. I have God beside me.
My nephrologists just told me it was the right kidney with total blockage or scar tissue or tumors??? Anyway I have already picked up the x-rays and a hard copy of the report to take with me to my appointment on Wednesday at 3:30. I think I will schedule an appointment with another urologist before I agree to surgery especially from someone who hasn’t even seen the x-rays nor has my file in front of him. I will be praying for the right decision this time. I know God will be holding my hand every step of the way. I am sure there is a lesson here somewhere. I will keep everyone posted.
Comments anyone???

God bless all my family and spark friends who are there for me everyday.
Praise God for giving us the right to vote. Continue prayers for all our leaders.
Praise God for all my numerous blessings.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNIE48 11/6/2008 12:38PM

  Helen, I will be in prayer for you; I can already see that God has a high place in your life; and that is what is most important. His plan for you is already laid out, and you understand that. Our trials are tests of faith, and you have won the test. Your faith is strong......keep that.....He is there for you to guide you and Hold your hand just like you said He is. Praise Him for He is in control. Hugs and prayers, Love, Annie

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XAVTAY 11/6/2008 10:53AM

    Momma Bear,

Good morning and you said something that touched my heart! "I know GOD will be holding my hand every step of the way". Somehow I am at the point of feeling like GOD is not with me and I don't matter! I am a little upset about the present state of my life and instead of getting closer to GOD I have walked away. You have reminded me that regardless of where I am GOD is still holding my hand every step of the way and I thank you and GOD for this! This is what I needed today. Now about your situation, you have faith and you trust GOD to lead you in the right direction concerning surgeries, procedures and doctors. He will never lead you in the wrong direction. I will be in prayer for you because I know that prayer changes things.
Be Blessed and I am going to add you as a friend

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CAMPINLADY 11/6/2008 4:43AM

    Good for you!

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BKP4166 11/6/2008 3:45AM

    Good and very wise choice...I've never heard of any physician who would do surgery without a consultation. I'll be praying for you as you make this decision.


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BELLACUDDLES 11/6/2008 2:06AM

    Helen, you are an inspiration and your faith is unwavering!!!! I will be praying all is well, my friend!

In Christ's Love,
Barbara emoticon

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NJMATTICE 11/5/2008 10:15AM

    I have every confidence that you will make the right decisions and get through this trial.

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GRAMMY2FIVE 11/5/2008 9:44AM

    Helen, while time consuming I would definitely meet first with the surgeon and not go blindly into surgery. You are doing the right thing in my opinion. Good luck

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HOLLY_ROSE 11/5/2008 8:58AM

    You're in my prayers friend!! Bless you!! Holly

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WANDAH3 11/5/2008 8:14AM

    Good Morning Helen, Mauri's answer to you is what I would say also.

Thinking of you and holding you up in prayer.


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KM1304 11/5/2008 6:16AM

    Hi Helen,

{HUGS} You ar ein my prayers.


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MAURIZIA 11/5/2008 12:35AM

    Helen, being in health care, you are right to see a second urologist/nephrologist for a second opinion. As a matter of fact, our agency encourages that you do that...and that you meet with the surgeon prior to the procedure. Make a list of your questions to bring with you so you don't forget what you are asking...and be sure to have someone with you who hears the answers. That way you can be sure you are hearing things correctly. Hope this helps...My prayers are winging their way to you.

I agree - we are blessed to have the right...and the privilege...of voting!

Prayers, Mauri

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ALASKAN 11/5/2008 12:20AM

    Hello Helen,
I will keep you in my thought and prayers. Hope everything works in your favor. I do not like surgery either, but maybe God will take them away so you will not have surgery too. Take care and keep me updated. I love you as a friend and team mate. I'm here anytime unless I'm sleeping .........
Always, ERNA emoticon

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Slow me down.....I will not give up!!!

Monday, November 03, 2008

Slow me down, Lord…
Remind me each day
That the race is not always
won by the fastest runner;
That there is more to life
than increasing its speed
~Wilfred A. Peterson

I read this and immediately thought how true it is. I have been reading about members of our teams running different races and marathons and thinking how I wish I could do that but knowing that I will probably never “run” a race. But at the same time, I know that I can "walk" a race or do a walk-a-thon and complete it. I will be doing several “walks” during the next year helping to raise cancer, diabetes, and autism awareness and raising money for their research. Maybe I will even be able to participate in the jump rope-a- thon for the heart association. I will not give up!!!
Since joining Spark People and with the support and encouragement of many members, whether they know it or not, I am now able to walk and ride my bike several miles a day. When I first started Spark, I didn’t do any posting…I didn’t know what to say and I’m normally not a sharing-type person. So I read everything I could. I prayed a lot and I read all the threads on the teams I belonged to, learning many different things that helped others to get healthier, reduce blood pressure, cholesterol and triglycerides, and getting their diabetes under control. I didn’t post anything, these people didn’t know me and I couldn’t bare myself and my problems to these total strangers. Thinking about doing that just made me shudder!! But I followed some of their suggestions and did what I could. They said take baby steps…one day at a time…start out and do what you can…change one thing at a time…add a little to what you do every all adds up!
That was 13 months ago…Guess what. They were absolutely right!!! I have lost 80 pounds, actually jump on the trampoline, walk and ride my new bike several miles a day, do stretching and strengthening exercises and I am able to smile and breathe while doing so. When I first started I could hardly walk out to the end of my sidewalk (approximately 50 feet) to get my newspaper or climb my steps without stopping to catch my breath. Now I do the stairs two or three times several times a day just for the exercise. I do not do all my walking or bike riding at one time…I break it down and do it several times a day also. I am just now starting to do the zumba, beginning level…at my own speed of course. It all adds up and it works!!!
Now that is not to say that roadblocks are not thrown in my path. Things sometimes get out of control. But there is always something good in everything that happens…I don’t always see it immediately, but it is there. I just recently hit a couple of those roadblocks, but I will get beyond these also. Life is for the living and I am now enjoying life not just letting it pass me by or getting through the day, praying for a new day and missing out on what is happening now. Live in the now!!

Lord, you have slowed me down again. Remind me and show me what I am missing, let me stop and smell the roses, don’t let me simply rush through the days…LET ME LIVE THEM. That is what life is about…living the journey and the lives I have touched and helped along the way. Let me be a vessel to spread the spark and Your word and works to others. I have been so blessed and just want to help others as I have been helped. Thank you. Amen.

Thank you Spark People… to the many who may already know and those who will never know how their postings have helped me and others.

Always remember the sun will come out tomorrow!!! emoticon
Share a smile emoticon and a hug emoticon
Never give up!! There is always hope!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DCBOHART 11/6/2008 10:11AM

    I remember when I was pregnant, I commented to someone, my mom, maybe, that I was looking forward to slowing down to a toddler's pace. Because of course, when you have a new walker, or even a preschooler who is 40 inches tall, they cannot walk at an adult pace. I was looking forward to slowing down to match a child's pace, and perhaps seeing some of the things in life that I was "too fast" to see rest of the time.

Now that my DD is four, I have to remind myself of that often. We get so caught up in life, moving so quickly, must get things done, get on to the next thing, hurry hurry hurry... it is often best to go slower, you see more of life, experience more of this blessed life God granted us. There is definitely much more to life than increasing its speed! Bless you and all your hard work and accomplishments; keep it up!

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WOWEETOO 11/5/2008 12:17AM

    well considering you are getting different stories here another doc looking at all this wouldn't be such a bad idea for sure my friend even the doc who is your general
got the new arm casted today as most of the swelling went down banded the tendon and casted from the uppeer hand all the way up and around the elbow to make sure it doesn't move and the shoulder which is broken from the dislocation heals in the right poistion probaly six weeks so the trip to seattle will look like i was run over by a truck gotta get bigger shirts so i can get them on without pain and of course that hand is tied to the chest for the time being it's really hard to wipe the bottom with the left hand and have really no balance at all now anyway hope you get that stuff straightened out but definitely yes to a second opinion for that hugs mary emoticon

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GRANDMANANCY 11/4/2008 8:31PM


80 pounds !!!!! You are truly amazing !!!!

Four years ago.... ( I always have a story, youknow*chuckle*)
my bestfriend Ginny was diagnosed with neuro-endocrine cancer....quite incurable... She and I walked my first cancer walk, together that year. The next year, I pushed her wheel chair around the track..... the next year... I walked alone while she was bed- bound in a nursing home. And this year I walked it 2 months after her passing . God has slowed me down alot this DH , my Father,my best friend,,,,my baby daughter...why even my dog got hit on the road !!! but even though I have not lost alot of weight recently, I know if it were not for friends like you...who are always there to pick me up and put me back on track... I would have gained weight like crazy.... so thank you Helen.

I am so pleased to know you. You are the best medicine in the world. Keep on going...the race is not won by the swiftest..... you are a wonderful human being and Sister in Christ.
many blessings to you dear rfiend,

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MARLA7 11/4/2008 2:19PM

    Helen - What an encouraging blog you wrote! I need some of that get up & go too!!! Thanks for reminding me that we NEED to live for TODAY!! Love ya, Marla

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GRAMMY2FIVE 11/3/2008 11:37PM

    Boy Helen you came thru forme today. This is just what I needed to hear as I have been somewhat discouraged the last couple days. Thanks for yourwords you so eloquently sharewith us and for all theemotion you put behind those words.

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WOWEETOO 11/3/2008 8:28PM

    my dear sweet helen love you always and forever!!! mary emoticon

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BABSDOTTER 11/3/2008 7:06PM

    What a great blog, Helen. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Janet

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POLLY20 11/3/2008 6:43PM

    Helen, I have to commend you for making this happen & so much more.. You are out the door & don't waiste any time sitting & feeling sorry for your self. It's like you just woke up when you started SP & you are finding so much more than you ever thought that you were ever capable of.. I wan to get my get up & go going once again & I am so sure that I will.. I am just getting back into the game again & soon will knock out my blockers as well.
I know that I've been doing all of the Walk-A-Thons for so many many years & even last year I was able to do the Walk for Autism.. I know that I wont be perfect but I will give it a shot just like you have & still are doing.. I hear that Zumba is wonderful.. I did it in the pool ovcer the Summer & it's so much fun..God has given you the Go Power & never ever let it go.. ((HUGS)) My Dearest Helen

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JEPSON 11/3/2008 6:24PM

    What a wonderful positive attitude the Lord has given you. Dispite all that you have been through, you are attacking each day with praise and hope.

Bless you Helen,

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NJMATTICE 11/3/2008 4:06PM

Thanks for the Motivation this Monday! A beautiful and spirit filled prayer of Thanksgiving. Your positivity is positively GLOWING today. Thank you so much for being such a willing servant and blessing me today.
Nancy emoticon

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WANDAH3 11/3/2008 2:44PM

    Helen, what a wonderful blog. Thank you for sharing your experiences. They are a real motivation.

I'll join you on the Walking, the running, unless God really inspires me to run, I'll leave to those who are called.

Have a blessed day,

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MAURIZIA 11/3/2008 12:28PM

    Helen, YOU did it! WOOHOO!! and you show us the way! Thank you for sharing your experience...because you are helping those like I who need to hear of success stories!!

Hugs, Maurizia...and THANK YOU!

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The Saga just got better. lol

Saturday, November 01, 2008

The Lord...richly blesses all who call on him. Romans 10:12 This is the saying on my Grace for the Day calendar for today and is so appropriate.

My life is full of strange twists and turns. Praise God that He is always there for me. All I can say is, “It’s me again, God…” and he knows.
I went yesterday at 1:30 for my CT to determine why I have total blockage between my kidney and bladder. With my mom’s death, funeral, and everything else that was happening this week, I forgot to stop and pick up the contrast that I was supposed to drink one hour before my scan. I remembered it on my way to the hospital, called them and decided I would just pick up the contrast and reschedule the test before heading home. Upon arriving at the hospital and talking with the girl in the x-ray department, she said they had plenty of time for me to drink the contrast and still do the scan. I agreed to go ahead and get it done because McKenzie’s mom had taken the afternoon off work to help out at her school’s Halloween party and I had the rest of the day free. The girl who registered me for the scan had a great time…the prescription was written for a scan with contrast and was not signed by the doctor. She asked me the physician’s name and what the scan was for...what part of the body. She could not register me for the test because of the incomplete prescription. After calling the doctor’s office, we waited for her to fax a new prescription. While I was waiting, I walked back over to the x-ray department to let them know what was happening. She had the contrast ready for me to drink. I went ahead and drank it because they had to wait one hour after it was gone before they could do the scan. Ok so we were good to go…it didn’t taste as bad as I had been told either. I went back to registration to finishing signing in and they had received the new signed prescription. She sent me back to x-ray where the girl told me they were ready to do the scan. When I replied that it had only been ten minutes not sixty, she said that was okay and the technician would explain things to me. It turns out that the doctor had changed the orders to do the scan without the contrast and only use the contrast if necessary. After the test was completed and I was dressed, they technician took me back to the waiting room while the radiologist read the scan. Within five minutes, the girl in the waiting room told me the doctor was on the phone…after asking me what kind of doctor she was to which I replied a kidney specialist. She rolled her eyes at me and handed me the phone. While talking with the doctor, she asked me which kidney we were checking…uh, she never told me where the problem was…she thought it was the right kidney. This made me a bit nervous. Then she goes on to tell me she is sending the report over to my primary care doctor and my doctor would have to send me to a urologist for surgery as I had total blockage possibly from massive scarring from a very old kidney stone or many tumors…she wasn’t sure which and only a specialist could determine that. When I asked what her specialty was she replied that she was a kidney specialist but she only tests and diagnoses, she doesn’t actually treat my problems. The girl in the ER told me that she had already faxed the report to my regular doctor and if I didn’t receive a phone call from her Monday morning by 10 am, I was to call her and see what she wanted me to do next, what urologist to send me to, and get an appointment made. This isn’t something to fool around with she said. I could tell she wasn’t at all impressed with my kidney specialist. I guess Monday will bring some more good news of one form or another. Murphy’s Law has kicked in again. lol

I praise God that He has given me a sense of humor…even if it is a bit twisted sometimes.
I thank God for always being there for me.
My family who loves me unconditionally
My spark family and friends who support, encourage and pray for me
My blessings which are too numerous to list

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my blogs!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARON_AHAUS 11/10/2008 9:02PM

    After reading this, it's no wonder that you were getting nervous. It seems like all of the workers aren't on the same page ,most of the time. lol There's not much we can do, but pray about it,like you are doing every day. You seem to have lots of courage, but maybe that's because of your strong faith. I wish you well. May God always bless you ,each and every day all through the years.

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CEB2007 11/3/2008 12:49PM

    WOW! Hope this was just a comedy of errors not the regular way things are done at your hospital. I cannot imagine going through all that. I hope you are feeling better.

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RATDAR1 11/3/2008 10:58AM

    sorry momma about your mom you have mine and bobbis heart with you as you were ther e when i was down.i hope everything turns out ok on your test i will be holding you in my thoughts. i lov e ya my dearest freind you could have told me about this ok .i am here for you anytimeok .

we love you momma and let me know about the test ok ttyl love ya .

ratdar/ronnie and bobbi emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MAURIZIA 11/3/2008 10:18AM

    Helen, my goodness. Brown Medical School has just implemented a requirement for medical students to learn how to talk with patients, determine what info to give them, etc. How sad that it is so needed. No wonder I miss our old family physician so much.

My prayers are winging your way. G-d will be with you today as you speak with your doctor.

Hugs, Maurizia

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POLLY20 11/3/2008 9:06AM

    Helen, There's a reason for everything.. I don't understand why some of us have to go through so very much, but I guess thta it's no for us to know.. I am holding your hand very tightly & waiting alon with you.. You are so loved by all of us & most of all Our Dear Lord.. Dr's are so very important to our lives.. Make yourself as comfortable as you can & enjoy the feel of
McKenzie's little hand in yours.. Love & Hugs Always Polly xxo

Comment edited on: 11/3/2008 9:04:03 AM

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HOLLY_ROSE 11/3/2008 8:17AM

    I love you, my friend!! I will keep you in my prayers! Blessings to you. Holly

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WOWEETOO 11/3/2008 6:54AM

    my word helen that makes me wonder if all nephrologists are that way or that one was trained by the one i go to LOL
i am so sorry to hear about your mother and know that must have been really hard for you with everything else going on
as for the kidney stuff holy moly what were those people thinking anyhow??
anyway if you need anything let me know lost my balance this morning again and did the same wrist that was just out of the cast and dislocated the shoulder jeez it was just to the floor my goodness and i don't know what happened
let me know about that kidney stuff and sparkmail me your address so i have it and your home email too love and hugs mary emoticon

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GRAMMY2FIVE 11/2/2008 10:19PM

    Goodness Helen, amidst all this you still find the good in everyone and everything. The Loed will continue to bless you and help get you thru yet another problem as He always does.
My deepest sympathy on the loss of your mother.

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JANETELIZABETH1 11/2/2008 3:38PM

    My Helen...and I say this sincerely...if we didn't have the Lord we'd be in the insane institution!! How do you make any sense out of it all?? I'll be back to read the latest update!
Hugs, Janet.

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GRANDMANANCY 11/2/2008 9:41AM

    Helen ! You are the best medicine in the world !!! Everyone smiles when you are around !!!!!


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WANDAH3 11/2/2008 9:34AM

    Helen, it's so nice to see you on the posts again, missed you.

Is your head spinning yet? One really wonders about the medical profession at times. I'm holding you up in prayer my friend. What powerful knowledge to know that God is watching over you.


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NJMATTICE 11/2/2008 8:46AM

    Well Helen, when the Dr. on the phone business happened I started getting confused. I hope they got the proper information out of that ordeal. I will have to follow the saga as it continues to continue. Have a Serene Sunday. I'll light a candle for you.

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MARLA7 11/2/2008 8:40AM

    Helen - So sorry to hear about your "issues". Let's hope everything turns our fine for you.... praying! Love you, Marla

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DAIRYNURSE 11/2/2008 7:43AM

    Helen-so sorry to hear about your mom passing away. You have my deepest sympathy. I will be praying for you and your family. Boy what a run around you are getting. I hope Monday they will get you some further help as no this is nothing to mess around with. I will keep praying that all things will turn out okay for you. Hugs, Jane

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Roses Will Bloom Again...News of My Mom's Death

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Roses Will Bloom Again ~ Jeff and Sheri Easter is a song I listen to often as it brings me so much comfort when I need it and lifts my spirit when I am down…sometimes brings a few tears but always uplifting to me. I keep a copy in my car and one on my desk. I am blogging this just to write down my feelings this morning.
I am not sure yet whether I am happy or sad. I received a phone call at 5:00 this morning. I was asleep when I heard my cell phone vibrate in the next room and I knew immediately what had happened. Good news never comes in the middle of the night or the early hours of the morning. By the time I got to my cell phone, of course, I missed the call. I immediately hit redial and was instantly talking with my baby brother. He was calling to tell me that he was at my mother’s house and the ambulance was there to take her to the hospital. But I knew that wasn’t true, I knew in my heart that she had already passed away. She has gone to be with our Lord. In a matter of less than a minute, my youngest sister was on the phone crying, saying that she knew mom had taken her last breath. (She and I have been with several people in that last moment of life, so she knew.) Many of you know that she hasn’t been well and was given just days to live several months ago especially if she didn’t start dialysis. She refused dialysis and did a living will with her doctors. She said at that time she was tired of being tired and was ready to go home with God as soon as he was ready for her. Well God must have been ready this morning. Now I know that I am supposed to be sad…but I am so happy that she has now gone to heaven that I can not be sad for her. I am, of course, sad for all the family members that she has left behind especially as I am afraid several do not believe. She has left a legacy of 13 children, 28 grandchildren and numerous great grandchildren which are scattered worldwide. Many hearts are breaking this morning but those of us who really knew my mom and her love of our Lord are rejoicing with her today. This is the beginning of her forever. She is suffering no more and to me that is most wonderful. I know that many of our family members will think I am cold and unfeeling. That isn’t true. I love my mother dearly but I know what she has gone through her entire life, the pain she has endured and suffered…losing five children due to divorce in 1960, then losing two of those children to death, a ten-year-old daughter and a twenty-one-year-old-son…and most recently due to emphysema, diabetes, kidney failure, cancer, strokes, etc. Of course if anything good can come of a stroke, my mom was very lucky. Over a course of several “mini” strokes and having stints or shunts put in, the only “issue” she had was that she forgot she was a smoker. My response to that was AMEN! No one told her any differently and no one smoked around her after that although I have a brother and several sisters that still indulge…and they all have breathing issues. I can’t imagine the addiction they must have, but that’s a different story.
Today is a new beginning. It is raining so the heavens are crying also as the angels are shedding tears of joy for a sister coming home. I know we will all shed many tears in the upcoming days…but mine will be tears of sorrow that she will not be with me physically any longer, I can’t call her on the phone, or see her in town but also tears of happiness that she is truly at peace and is no longer suffering. She will be with me always in my mind and in my heart and she will rest with our Lord forever. Her suffering is over. Praise God.
May the Lord grant mercy on all of us.

To my family members reading this, please remember: We don’t like to say good-bye to those whom we love. It is right for us to weep, but there is no need for us to despair. She had pain here on earth but she has no pain in heaven. She struggled here but has no struggles there. You and I might wonder why God took her home. But she doesn’t. She is, at this very moment, at peace in the presence of God. May the hope of heaven give each of us peace and may the tender touch of the Father bring us comfort.

Pain only exist in the human form
God believes in me as I believe in Him.
He gave his son for me.
My parents who loved me, although both are now deceased
My family

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLERK55 7/3/2009 3:54PM

    I agree with you my dear sweet mother pasted away in nov.of 1990 I still miss her so but like your mom she had suffered so much i knew that she was at rest in Jesus . I came to read this because of you posting that your brother jay needing prayer . Father I ask that you be with this dear family . Please give Jay please in his sole. in Jesus name amen emoticon

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CROWNMAMA 11/1/2008 11:27PM

    Dear Friend/sister

I agree with your sentiments and your thoughts were as mine were in 1989 --

Still think of her and often feel like she is a phone call away.....she wanted soo much to see my son Charlie be a success and happy -- we still pray and believe for him soon to 38 in a few days
Everyday I realize how wise she was and how much she loved my dad (now gone home to be with the Lord too)

I often cook things I can only remember by memory -- keep those yummy thoughts in mind for yourself and eat those comfort foods when you need to --

In Christ - I grieve and rejoice with you


Comment edited on: 11/1/2008 11:26:17 PM

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HOLLY_ROSE 10/31/2008 7:46AM

    The LORD bless you my friend, I know the Lord has blessed your mom. My prayers are with you and your family. I love you, Holly emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/31/2008 7:44:18 AM

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MARLA7 10/29/2008 10:41AM

    Helen - Sorry I missed your blog earlier. Now that I found it... you brought ME comfort! It's amazing, isn't it, when we focus our thought on your Mother's happiness... and we both know she is so happy celebrating the beginning of her eternal life with the Lord. God Bless you Helen. You're a wonderful Lady, someone who I know your Mother was very very proud of. God rest her soul. Love you, Marla

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POLLY20 10/27/2008 11:23AM

    Helen, You are so right to have these feelings.. Your Dearest Mother is now in the Garden where She is visiting with The Lord.. Now She will have some peace & I sure hope that she will be reunited with your Dad.. My thoughts & Prayers are with you & your Family.. I am here if you need me.. Love &Hugs
Always Polly xxo My Dearest Friend..

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JUSTPEACHY1 10/26/2008 9:45PM

    Dear Helen, I want you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you during this time (and you were just going through all that crazy business with your own health concerns!). I rejoice with you that your mother is now in heaven face-to-face with Jesus, and free of pain and illness. But I also am sending you a (((hug))) as you go through this adjustment of realizing that your mother isn't here with you on earth anymore.

Praying for your family, too, especially as some of them are not believers - I pray that they will come to know our Lord and Savior.

I know this will be an exhausting week for you - praying that God will give you strength. Love, Ena

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ALFREDIA 10/26/2008 9:40PM

  I'm sorry for your loss but your faith is sustaining you. We will all see our loved ones when he calls us.


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ANNIE48 10/26/2008 9:05PM

  Wow, Helen, you have my sincerest sympathy in the loss of your mother. You have a wonderful way with expressing the feelings we have when we lose someone we love, and know that they are in heaven where there is no more sorrow or tears or pain. I will keep you in my prayers. I lost my own dear mother 10 years ago, but still miss her at times when I would like to give her a call to share something. But I still praise God for the wonder of His Salvation. Hugs, Annie

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JANETELIZABETH1 10/26/2008 10:27AM

    Dear Helen,
If I might have exactly the right prospective on the passing of your mum.
I pray that the Lord comforts every heart of your family as they come to terms with all that has happened.
Blessings and hugs,
Janet. emoticon

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GRANDMANANCY 10/26/2008 8:55AM

    Praise the Lord for a wonderful mother.

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GODMYFULLNESS 10/26/2008 7:18AM

    Thank you for sharing your heart, Helen. My prayers and heart is with you and yours. God bless, Peggy

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WANDAH3 10/25/2008 9:54PM

    Helen, my prayers are with all of you. Yes there are tears, but as believers we know that we will see our loved ones again. The tears are ones of sorrow, but they are also tears of rejoicing. God's peace is upon you and yours and He will use this time to show those who faith is not strong that He will never forsake them and when their life mission is complete, there will again be much rejoicing in heaven.
May you continue to find your comfort in Christ.


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MAURIZIA 10/25/2008 7:00PM

    Helen, my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family during this time of both bereavement and rejoicing. I fully understand how your faith helps you to see that your mother has reached her reward - and how wonderful that is! Imagine the smile on her face as she joined G-d and His angels! Alleluia!

There is an old Italian proverb, which loosely translated, says that when it rains on a death, it means our loved one will never thirst for his/her G-d again! What a beautifully reassuring thought that is!


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Lord…give me the gift of faith...

Friday, October 24, 2008

Lord…give me the gift of faith to be renewed and shared with others each day. Teach me to live this moment only, looking neither to the past with regret, nor the future with apprehension. Let love be my aim and my life a prayer. ~Roseann Alexander-Isham

I read this today and knew that God meant this for me. I have been a little upset with my doctors this week and have been a bit down about their seemingly ineptitude. I have prayed on this but the mistakes seem to keep coming. I know in my heart that God is using me to teach them to be more careful. I have been very tired for some time and just assumed it was because I was eating so few calories. On Friday, 10/10, I went to the lab for my urinalysis testing that my kidney specialist wanted for my appointment with her on Monday 10/22. I received a phone call on Tuesday from her that I needed to have a urine C&S done as there was something there. Now that really threw me…I thought maybe aliens had landed in my kidneys…never thought she was talking about bacteria (an infection) and the urine C&S was a urine culture and sensitivity test. The sensitivity part was to know which antibiotic would kill the bacteria. (I checked it out on the internet.) She was dropping a script in the mail to get it done. I received and completed it on Wednesday, hoping that my primary doctor might have the results on Thursday. That didn’t happen as the test takes 48 hours. I went to my primary doctor last Thursday and she was most informative and helpful. She was happy with my lab work, etc. She wrote my prescriptions so that they would be covered under our $4.00 plan, (Giant Eagle, WalMart, Rite Aid, etc.) as I exhausted my prescription coverage back in June and it doesn’t pick up again until January 2009. One of them wasn’t covered under the $4.00 plan, but the price was still pretty reasonable. I just can not continue paying $800.00-$900.00 a month any longer for meds.
When I went to the kidney specialist on Monday, she didn’t have the results of the urine C&S test. My kidney function went from 49 to 55 which although it is CKD, Stage 3, to me it sounds better…by 6 points. I have to remain on the limited protein and limited carb diets. I am used to that now even if my body sometimes yells at me wanting those bad, bad foods. lol It is just too few calories for my body to function well…that is my opinion; 600-800 calories is just way to low. (sigh) My kidney doctor called me about half an hour after I returned home from her office and told me that somehow, she had missed reading the last line of the ultrasound report that I had done four months ago…which said that the tube going from the kidney to the bladder on one side was totally blocked or kinked shut. (I had already been told that the ultrasound showed everything was good…no blockage, stones or anything.) Amazing!!! Now I had to schedule an appointment to have a cat scan done of the kidneys which, because she was working out of a temporary office in Waynesburg, she would send the script on Tuesday when she was in her regular office. Tuesday I received a phone call with the results of the Urine C&S and she wanted call in a prescription for me. I picked up and started the Cipro and by Thursday I was feeling the result of heavy antibiotics in my system, so I called my primary care doctor and asked if she would call in a prescription for a Diflucan. They said I could pick it up after 4 pm. McKenzie and I stopped to pick it up on our way to soccer practice. It wasn’t there but the pharmacist called the doctor’s office and she gave him a prescription for Bactrim. DUH!!! When he asked me if that worked for me, I said yes, but I was surprised that I would have to take Cipro and Bactrim at the same time. He looked in the computer and started to “snicker”. I said if that is what she wanted me to take, I would do it, but I definitely would need that Diflucan for sure. He called the doctor’s office back and got it straightened out….took half an hour and McKenzie and I were late for soccer practice…not a big deal.
I just could not believe that Murphy’s Law had really kicked in and kicked my butt. I couldn’t even count it as cardio. lol I received the kidney doctor’s prescription in the mail this morning for the CAT scan and called the hospital to schedule it. She asked me to read the script which I did “CT Scan w/wo contrast”. She asked me what they were to scan and I explained. They couldn’t use a script that was not more detailed…it could have meant my head or any other part of my body. (laughing) After giving her the doctor name and phone number, she called and got that straightened out. She wanted to know if I wanted her to tell the doctor when the appointment would be or was she to call me back. I, of course, asked her to call me because I wasn’t sure if I would get the message. Within ten minutes she had talked with the doctor, the CT scan scheduled, and called me with the appointment…10/30 at 1:30. However I have to get a prescription now for a BUN and Creatinine test before they can do the scan with contrast. Laughing as I type this…here we go again. I am stopping to pick that up on my way to McKenzie’s house.
What happens next in this saga? Stay tuned!
Love and hugs to all who are reading this,

Praise God for He truly takes care of me…leading me when necessary and carrying me when needed. He is always there for me no matter what.
My health…which is actually good
My family and friends
My Spark friends who are always here to support me
Others too numerous to mention

Thank you for stopping by and reading my blog. God bless you.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHURCHMOUSE4 10/25/2008 2:53PM

    Dear Helen, I know that you do have a deep faith and you will get through all this "stuff". It is faith that keeps us going, knowing that God sees the whole picture while we only see our little part. You are in my prayers, my dear friend. Love, Jackie.

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MARLA7 10/25/2008 4:14AM

    Helen - I feel for what you're going through. Ugh. But, as you know, the kidneys are nothing to mess with. Wish I had a heads up whenever mine started going downhill.. or should I say, before mine went downhill. Best wishes on all your tests...etc.... My Creatinine level fluctuates between 5.2 - 7.9. I forget my last BUN reading.... but I guess it doesn't matter... I'm at less than 2% function now anyway. I hope you never have to do dialysis. Praying for that. Love you my friend, Marla

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LINDIEMAE 10/24/2008 10:27PM

    Patience and Endurance on your part for sure, my goodness, you certainly got the run around this week, and all those medications !!! Perserverance is another quality that comes to mind that one needs to be able to endure all of this. My hat is off to ya. I hope all is well with the test too.

Our specialists are just way to busy these days, what a shame. Keep up the good work though, its good you know your medications and such, sometimes you do have to remind people as although they are experts in their field they are still only human and fall short of the mark, just as much as you and me. Huggssss, Lindie

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NJMATTICE 10/24/2008 6:26PM

I will keep you in prayer. Doctors and tests and prescriptions, oh my! Keep your chin up. It is bound to get better.
Love, Nancy

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GRAMMY2FIVE 10/24/2008 6:24PM

    Good grief Helen, I'm exhausted just reading this. Well good luck on the test next week. Keep us informed as to the cat scan.

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WANDAH3 10/24/2008 5:16PM

    It is frustrating when you are the person on the receiving end of all of this, but perhaps it a way for you to continue to learn patience, understanding and just letting go and letting God. Sometimes, I think the doctors are just so overwhelmed with their case loads that they just become exhausted too with all that needs to be done. Not that that is an excuse for incompetence, just possibly an explanation.
Hope all goes well for you and you find the answers you need and can become the healthy person you desire to be. Thinking of you in prayer.

Have a great Friday,

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TAZZIE5 10/24/2008 5:12PM

    Wow - round & round & round you go. I too am amazed at the low calories - especially with all the activities you do. I am so sorry you are going thru all of this & pray thigs get better real soon. Keep your determined spirit Helen. The Lord will see you thru it all.

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POLLY20 10/24/2008 2:56PM

    My Dear Helen, sound like they have you going in circles.. I know that they really should be better equipped to be more alert & on top of things going on with your health.. I can't get over how few cals you are eating.. You must be so weak & out of sorts at times.. So much Fatigue.. I sure hope that they can come to a conclusion where your health is concerned.. Your health matters.. Love & Hugs Always Polly xxo

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