Monday, March 12, 2012
I often wonder just who I am--daughter, mother, coworker, supervisor, neighbor, weird lady who likes to cook, pain in the neck--I'm all of those things and none of them. Am I just who other people think that I am? Is that the only place where I really exist? In the places where someone else actually sees me?
When you are single, like I am, in a world where it seems most people are paired up, it feels like it is easy to slip between. Most of the time that is good. Even being invisible is often good if you have the right attitude about it. I'm working on that attitude where I can help from the background and just move on.
I wonder how others would describe me, think of me--if they think of me at all. Does that really matter?
The bottom line is that I get to define who I am, who I am becoming, who I wish to be. That is exciting, exhilarating and slightly terrifying. It means picking one path (or another). Everyone is going some place, so no path is not an option. Either I choose or I choose not to choose and I get swept along.
I'm at one of those times where there is more change in my life than there has been for a while. That means I really get to choose. I has been a long time since the path wasn't well defined. I have been mom for a long time and now my family is just about gone. Oh, I am still mom, just not with children living at home. That changes home and my job which pretty much changes everything.
I have been asked several times what I will do. People seem to think that I don't know what to do. Please! Of course I know what to do! I will do whatever I want to do. Admittedly, I don't quite know what that is yet, but I will figure it out.
I know who I am. I am me. A constantly changing, multifaceted human being who still has a lot of learning, growing, caring and loving to do.
I am me.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
My poor son! This is the way he greeted me the other night as we dished up dinner. At the age of 17, he knows his mother. I am a chemist and he has teased me for years about "experimenting" with his food. He has also accepted the fact that very few meals are exactly the same.
For me, foods, flavors and textures are so much fun! I try different things--not always with success, but usually edible--and my son accepts the variability with grace. What else can he do? What else does he know?
I'm a sorta Foodie. I really like trying new recipes. I also know what I like, so I don't just try really random things. Right now, I don't do a lot of baking like I used to because I really don't want to have the results around to tempt me. Yesterday, I made a cheesecake to celebrate a coworker's birthday--and I didn't eat a bite! (I did, however, lick the serving spatula )
Cooking for myself and being able to improve the flavors and textures of my food is probably the only way I could ever lose weight. It is a real blessing to have so many fresh fruits and vegetables around. For me, it is all about the flavors and if I just limit the carbs and the fats (not eliminate, just limit a bit), I can have all the flavor and do well on my calorie count. There is no better world!
So, I'm going to keep trying things--I do love the SparkPeople CookBook!--and my poor son will keep having to ask what I have done to his dinner today.
Happy Cooking! (and please send my your favorite things to cook!)
Sunday, March 04, 2012
I don't feel rich, but it has come to my attention lately that I have rich people problems. Are you thinking "speak for yourself!" or "lucky you"? Well, I bet you have rich people problems too.
Maybe we are having car trouble. Well, the only reason we can have car trouble is if we have a car. Most of the world doesn't have a car.
I sometimes claim that I don't have time to exercise. Why? Well, I have a car to get me back and forth from work where I sit and work at a computer a lot of the time. I don't have to walk to work and walk home and I don't do physical work. I met a lady several years ago (who happened to be 8 months pregnant at the time)--her job was to shovel rocks! Yes, I feel humbled--and also like I have rich people problems.
I complain that I have to pay bills--electricity, TV, trash pickup, etc. Those are rich people problems because I have a place to live. A lot of folks would like to have my problems. Even here in the United States, there are many people who are homeless. What about the rest of the world?
Probably the biggest example of us having rich people problems is food. As a people, Americans have problems with obesity, heart disease and diabetes. Part of these issues (and I know not all) have to do with our diets. We have an abundance of food--an over abundance. We also have rich people food--white flour, refined sugar, processed foods including trans-fats, etc. and we take advantage of all of it!
I can walk into my kitchen right now and cook dozens of different nutritious, balanced, delicious meals. I can overeat those meals or put things together that are not so good for me and eat those. As a nation, the amount of food we waste is appalling. I know, I was raised to eat everything on my plate because the children in Africa are starving. That isn't a good strategy either. It taught me to keep eating when I am full and to not "waste" food--so I have wound up "waisting" food which doesn't help me or the starving people around the world.
We talk on this website about finding quinoa or other ingredients that up until a few months ago I had never heard of. My point is that we have so many choices--even when budgets are limited--compared to the rest of the world.
Our pastor reminded us a few months ago how many people survive without clean water. I cannot even imagine not having something so basic as clean water!
So the next time I am crying "poor me" to you about the things that I cry about. Please remind me how fortunate I am. I am going to be healthier, waste less and help more. I'm sure I will need to be reminded. So I ask you to remind me and I ask you to join me.
Saturday, March 03, 2012
Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal!
Yes, it should be on a poster and it was. It hung on my wall in college for 4 years, 4 dorm rooms and one (or was it two) apartments. Ok, it is a bit trite and I was 18 when I bought the poster, but it is also true. I was from a small town and was at a college that was 3 times bigger than my own home town. I needed something to remind me that I could do this.
How many times do I look at something I want to do and come up with all the reasons I can't do it? You know what? I can do it. I may choose not to do it right now or I may have to prioritize when I do it, but I CAN do it--whatever it is.
Sometimes, the harder thing is deciding what I want to do. Setting a wishy washy goal--I want to lose some weight. Well, how much is some? Is 5 pounds enough and I did it or I want to lose 50 pounds? When? Someday? Well, someday is always later.
To be honest, I hate the idea of setting SMART goals at home because I have been setting them at work for so long and I don't like the connotation, but what good is a goal if it isn't Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic and Timely? I get to pick my goals and maybe I should have been doing that at work all this time as well. I don't need or want others to tell me what I should do or what I need to do. Sure, input is fine. The final decisions, however, are mine. And I will not let obstacles determine the goal!
What I decide to do and what I commit to do, I will do with enthusiasm and vigor. What I am forced to do will likely not have that same degree of commitment.
I saw a comment recently from one of my SparkFriends about keeping her head down to reach a goal. I get that--hard work and dedication pay off. BUT, I challenge myself and all of us to focus on the GOAL. Look up and see where you are going. Look at the prize and the one beyond that. Talk about motivation!
So my final thoughts . . . .
1) Obstacles are things to climb over and puzzle through. They are usually the fun part. Enjoy them--enjoy the journey--preferably with those who love us.
2) Goals are what we want. They are the motivation. Pick them wisely.
3) Then I will add one more thing. Always have the next goal somewhere, ready to go. Relaxing is great, but if I sit down in my rocker for too long, I may never get up again!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
I hate scale farts. Everyone I know uses "brain fart" for "I did something stupid" . . . well, every once in a while my electronic scale does the same thing. I think I really want to go back to the old-fashioned kind of scale with the dial.
Yes, I am probably too scale oriented, before anyone mentions it. I am a numbers person and always have been. I can monitor the scale and I love my scale. EXCEPT when it decides to change the numbers!
I didn't realize when I bought my house that there is no perfect surface for a scale in the whole house. The house is eitehr carpeted--bad for scales--or tiled with 12" ceramic tiles which are inherently not perfectly flat--also bad for scales. I swear if I walked my scale all over the bath room I could weigh a difference of 5 pounds depending upon where I put the scale!
Am I obsessed? Maybe. . .. frustrated? definitely.
Answer seems easy. Put the scale in one place and leave it alone! Except it slowly walks from me stepping on it and then I move it back and the number changes!
So, what's got me so flipped out? My scale fart added two pounds. I know, two pounds isn't the end of the world, but it is a week's weight loss! That is a whole week of my life and I want to have those pounds to show for it!
Yes, most of this is tongue in cheek. I'm not really freaking out. I do know that I am getting healither and that weight fluctuates. I just don't think it is asking too much for this mechanical and electronic marvel that I bought, house and feed batteries be supportive.
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