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Fear of writing part 2 Beware teacher talk

Thursday, February 17, 2011

As a teacher many of us have to overcome the things we feared as children.
Mine was writing. I have many good thoughts but I just could not express myself on paper. I am a great storyteller. I can talk your ear off with stories. I am the librarian in the school. I tell stories everyday.
During this time of year I help any class that need extra help with the students to pass the state exam. Last year I was teaching 8th grade Science, 6th grade math. This year it is 3rd grade reading and 4th grade writing. I have started the all day writing academies. I was very nervous. I thought I was not as good as the other 4th grade teachers. When came the time to grade the papers I gave the same grade to the papers as the writing teacher. YEA!! I was right on track. Today was my 2nd writing academy. I had the students tell me their stories orally before they wrote them. This is something I did with my 1st graders when I was a classroom teacher. This was very effective but very time consuming. Friday will be my 3rd academy. Again I am going to have the ones that were the lowest on the writing tell me the stories orally. The others students that have been doing well can work on their own.

For me I have found I am on track with the grading the thing I feared the most. Most 4th graders do not use grammar so I do not need to grade it. It is just the stress of watching the kids fail and not being able to help them. Then I see the writing teacher she is not worried. She does not stay at work until 8pm. Why am I stressing myself out. Why I am not sleeping? Why am I spending more time at school than with my family?

It is because I care about these students and the stress is driving me to chocolate. Next week I am going to eat healthy. Being nervous and eating sweets does not make me feel well. I know this but why can't I follow my own advice. Next week I will. Friday back on track.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATIATM 2/22/2011 1:53PM

    I admire your dedication, and the children definitely need more teachers like you. But you need to take care of yourself first before you can take care of anyone else, and the children watch and learn from you even when you aren't actively teaching, so incorporating those healthy habits is doing double the good!

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    You are facing and confronting fears and doing it afraid you are an over comer and you are a winner, do not over look all the marvelous qualities our dear sweet Lord loaded up within you when He created you. Do not sell yourself short. You are do so great. emoticon

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STRINGI719 2/18/2011 12:03PM

    Your dedication is so admirable! Keep on giving those kiddos 100% effort, but remember to do the same for yourself. Fill your tank with quality fuel so that you have even MORE to give to them each day!

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DIDMIS 2/18/2011 1:22AM

    emoticonBecky so you will be the best loser next week. Good for you.

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Who me? I just can't do it. Help where is the chocolate?

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

The last time I was this nervous I was in High School. I remember as a Jr. I was in a room full of students and everyone understood what the teacher wanted. I was the fat, ugly girl and I just could not get it. The teacher was handing back the writing papers and mine paper had in red ink, "see me after class. " I just could not get it. I had so many ideas to write about but the spelling, punctuation and everything just got in the way. I hated writing.
Now I am an adult. I went to college. I am a teacher/librarian. I have written many papers. Why do I want to eat chocolate? Why do I want some cookies? Where are the M&M's?
On Friday I am giving a workshop to 4th grade students on how to be a better writer. These wonderful kids are looking to me to help them improve their writing skills. Me? Me?
What do I know about writing? Why does the principal think I can do this? I do know anything about writing.
I feel like I am the last person in the world these young students should be going to for help. I need help!! I need someone to proof my papers!
I will not eat chocolate. I will eat a Special K snack bar. I will drink Hot Chocolate. I will control my emotions.
I am not that scared fat girl any more. She is grown up and she can do it.

Thanks for reading rant. I need to just get it off my chest.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHYME47 2/15/2011 6:40PM

    My daughter had trouble in school and now she is studying to become a special ed teacher. She will have so much empathy for the things that kids find confusing and how to overcome them. I'm sure your workshop was great. You have proven that you can do ANYTHING.


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CATIATM 2/15/2011 9:53AM

    You are absolutely right: you are not that little girl anymore. Good for you! emoticon

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PHIL_4-13 2/11/2011 11:15AM

    I agree with String1719: the one who had trouble writing is the best teacher. I would add that you might consider sharing with them how hard it was for you. My Mom never told my sister that Mom had a terrible time in school. My sister always wished Mom HAD told her, so that she would have known she was not alone. Share some of your vulnerabilitiy with them. They are much more afraid than you are, and you could really reduce some trauma for them.

And to DIDMIS I say, "Way to be so frugal!" :) So funny!

My favorite T-shirts are:
FRONT of shirt: Man cannot live by Chocolate alone.
BACK: But woman can!

Also: Hand over the chocolate, and no one gets hurt!

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STRINGI719 2/10/2011 7:45PM

    Speaking from experience in the classroom, I think sometimes the people who struggled with a skill are actually the best ones to teach it. You can relate to the kids in a totally different way than those people who were just always naturally good at it. I have the hardest time teaching Math to my 6th graders, because to me it was just so simple. I couldn't understand what they "didn't get" about it. I know you will do an amazing job tomorrow. BEST WISHES!

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LKWQUILTER 2/10/2011 1:18PM

    You have accomplished a lot and you can do it!! Don't forget your successes!

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RAKYM1 2/10/2011 10:21AM

    You will do great! Have a good Day!

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JUST4ME927 2/10/2011 7:07AM

    You ARE an intelligent person! Expressing our struggles removes their power and hold on us. Way to go!

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DIDMIS 2/10/2011 1:43AM

    We all have ghosts of the past. Chocolate??????? My dad had an account at the grocery store which he paid once a month.
I saw other kids go in and get candy so I thought Why can't I?
So one day I tried it. I think it lasted about 3 days until the grocer told on me.
You see I was getting a good bargain also. One for a nickel (Mind you a nickel candy bar) and I could get 3 for a dime. So to save money :) I bought three and ate all three on the way home
I still love chocolate.

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TETICH 2/9/2011 11:31PM


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JERESS26 2/9/2011 11:30PM

    Why is it that we hold on to those moments and forget the ones that should be remembered? I think you are the best person to teach them because you were there already. You can encourage them to write and let them know the punctuation will come along with it. You may have a great novelist in this class and they will remember you as the one that helped them with their love of writing. Share your experience with them and enjoy the class.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/9/2011 11:31:51 PM

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SUNNYWBL 2/9/2011 11:04PM

    emoticonAnd don'cha feel better already? emoticon

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IMREITE 2/9/2011 10:57PM

    Sometimes those meomories of being the scared fat kid stay with us as adults. i find those fears sometimes stop me from getting where i want to go too. I am fighting htem a little at a time.

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Road to Success

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

The Road to Success has big hills and valleys. There are rock, potholes. Along the path there are people who will try to steal my health. I will pass restaurants that smell so good. I will walk pass people eating cakes and cookies. There are so many things along the Road to Success.
Last week I was going through one of those bumpy places. Work was too busy. I was getting home at 8:30pm and leaving in the morning around 7am. I was tired. How easy it was to go back to bad habits. I would come home from work hungry and tired.

Did I reach for salad? No No No Ice Cream was the comfort food.
Did I get up to exercise at 4:45am? no I slept until 6am.
Did I feel better? No

I am glad I was able to see the damage I was doing.
Did I gain weight yes.
But Saturday I was at the top of the hill and I started walking down the right path.
Back to Basics
1) write in my journal
2) eat between 1200-1500 cals
3) exercise

Everyday is a new day to get back on the Road to Success. I am glad that I have friends that are walking the same Road as I am. My Spark Friends and TOPS Friends are there to encourage me to take the right path every step of the way.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATIATM 2/8/2011 3:13PM

    I'm sorry you hit a bump in the road, but it sounds like you're right back on your way. Good for you! emoticon

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MARLIZG 2/8/2011 11:10AM

    right on!

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MAYBER 2/7/2011 6:35PM

    Thanks for sharing your ups and downs of your journey
Best wishes as you continue on the Road To Success
One day at a time emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RIVERWRITER 2/7/2011 10:11AM

    You hit the nail on the head! Getting back on the right path feels so good, doesn't it? Exercise not only makes us feel good physically, it makes us feel good about ourselves! It's two goods from one act; what a bargain! Thanks for blogging what we all so often experience.

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LBEASEY 2/5/2011 12:45PM

    Thanks for sharing Becky, it is a stumbling block we all face. Realizing you were sinking is half the battle and now you are focused on the right path. I hate the times I go under and give in to the easy way out. It is always times when I let life take control instead of staying in control. I hope your week is improved and you find the inner strength to continue the battle. My weakest moments are the weekends when I don't have the structure we have during the week. emoticon

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IDLETYME 2/3/2011 3:29PM

    Hi Becky,
You've done the hard part - figuring out what you've done wrong. Now it's all on the road to success. We all know you can do it!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon


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HEALTHYME47 2/3/2011 11:23AM

    Good for you for getting back on that Road to Success. Yes, the road does put stumbling blocks in our way sometimes but as long as we keep trying to get back on the right road we'll keep heading in the right direction!

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SUNNYWBL 2/2/2011 6:16PM

    Good save!

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DIDMIS 2/1/2011 10:28PM

    Good for you Becky. Can you imagine church gave up tonight and cancelled the ladies meeting I was to speak at because a cold front was coming in. I just went out and it is in the 50's
we can't give up and you didn't. Good for you again I say it.

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STRINGI719 2/1/2011 10:16PM

    I think it's wonderful to be able to identify our weaknesses/challenges/poor choices, and then move one. You know what you did, why you did it, and what you should have done instead. Make a mental note so that you're more prepared next time, and just keep on keepin' on!

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Lunch with Spark Friends.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Today team RGV meet for lunch. I had so much fun meeting the people I chat with face to face. We spent so much time talking the waiter cleaned out table when we got up to take a picture.

But that did not stop us. We went out in the waiting area and continued talking and gettting to know each other more.

I look forward now even more to getting online and trying to bet Dan to the huddles.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATIATM 1/31/2011 2:37PM

    I love meeting Sparkfriends! I'm glad you had a great time!

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SUNNYWBL 1/25/2011 4:44PM

    I recognise 3 of you, but who are the others?

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MNNSAIDE 1/23/2011 10:48AM

    Why did I have to be right in front!!!! lol

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FERRETLOVER1 1/23/2011 9:45AM

    Great! I would love to meet up with my SparkFriends!!

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HEALTHYME47 1/22/2011 10:49PM

    How fun!


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DIDMIS 1/22/2011 10:43PM

    The waiter did take a good picture though didn't he? We had such a good time.
It's me Irene, the pretty one.

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BIGMAMAT 1/22/2011 9:42PM

    This is amazing!! a real life spark huddle! woohoooo!!!! emoticon

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MNNSAIDE 1/22/2011 9:34PM

    Huddles? Not unless I beat both of you in the morning!!!
Oh never mind Irene won't go to bed so she will be first!

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Biggest loser contest at work.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

At work I was going to join the weight loss challenge The Biggest Loser.
I thought it was going to be a friendly challenge between 3 friends.
Then it got just toooooo big.
About 15 people joined so there was about $300 in the pot.
I am not in it for the money I am was going to join to lose the weight.

Today I then heard how some of the participates are taking diet pills and going to the doctor to get shots.

I am glad I did not join. I do not want to be part of something that is promoting dangerous weight loss.

I think making a lifestyle change is much different than joining a contest to win some money.

I think a person needs to eat real food and not a protein drink to lose weight.

I think weight loss is about health not money.

I am going to be the at home loser and win my health back.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KLABELL 1/22/2011 8:20PM

    Sorry to hear that, but you did the right thing not getting involved. emoticon emoticon

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HEALTHYME47 1/19/2011 12:58PM

    I think you were wise not to join this contest, it does not sound like "healthy" competition. Ugh. You are doing things the RIGHT way and focusing on the most important priority in all of this which is long-term health.

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    How frustrating! I am glad you did not get caught up in all of that nonsense. You can do this the healthy way and keep the weight off rather than gain it all back once the challenge is over. My husband joined the Brownsville city-wide Biggest Loser challenge. He is in a small group with some of the other coaches. He is doing so great! He was down five pounds last week and all with a healthy diet and exercise. I am so proud of him!

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    I so like and agree with what you said. Losing weight for the purpose of getting and being more healthy. Not for the money. You are very wise to not join in on something that sounds dangerous to me.

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SPALM01 1/14/2011 10:45AM

    We started a Biggest Loser 8 week Challenge at work, but everyone seems to be taking a positive approach. We are a smaller office, but there are 7 of us doing the challenge. Sorry yours did not work out; I always find it easier when I'm part of a group.

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KEEKEE1ST 1/14/2011 10:41AM

    Sensible Choices all the way!

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CATIATM 1/14/2011 7:10AM

    You are a wise woman!

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BPULLOS 1/13/2011 1:58PM

    Wise decision! But you know the saying Cheaters never win and winners never cheat emoticon

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RAKYM1 1/13/2011 9:46AM

    Way to go! u did the right thing plus cheaters never wins. Even if they Win the Lose. Keep up the good work they'll wish they would have done it the right way. emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/13/2011 9:51:36 AM

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MARYC830 1/13/2011 9:05AM

    I think that challenges can be motivational sometimes- but I think you were right to avoid the contest at work. It doesn't sound like the people who are participating are going into this with a healthy mindset!

Best of luck to you as you continue your journey at home!

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KIKI1066 1/13/2011 8:55AM

    Sounds like you made the right choice. And if the "biggest loser" at work is one that is taking diet pills and doing other unhealthy things, they will most likely gain the weight back. You will be thin long after the $300 is spent.

I have mixed feelings about the Biggest Loser in general. It can be very inspirational, but I think it does set up unreal expectations for the normal person. Afterall, I am sure there is much behind the scenes we don't see.

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ELFMAGE7 1/12/2011 11:17PM

    Good choice. While money is tempting, sometimes the neediness can make a friendly competition go sour fast. I like the idea of the biggest loser influence when it is stuff like the food giveaways that some do. Food is given to shelters and places like that for every lb lost. Something like that I could support but a money challenge isn't as encouraging.

Keep up your resolve and working hard, you'll do great!

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SHERILYNCAVA 1/12/2011 10:40PM

    I also go to TOPS. We are "Taking Off Pounds Sensibly".

Congrats for not stooping to doing something that is dangerous to your health. The ones that are doing that will probably not be able to Keep Off Pounds Sensibly as you will.

From TOPS to KOPS. That is the prize you really want.
I'm sure you will get there and you'll be the real winner!



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SUNNYWBL 1/12/2011 10:38PM

    I'm with you! I wouldn't join under those conditions either! emoticon

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MOM2GEO_JR 1/12/2011 10:37PM

    You are right Becky, you go girl. This has to be a permanent way of eating healthy.
I am headed to bed.

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MICKEY341 1/12/2011 9:59PM

    I am proud of you for making the choice to do it the 'sensible' way! Yours will stay off, what do you think will happen to their weight when the contest is over!
It's not about money...what you win is health! And that is something that money can't buy!
Maybe you should tell them what TOPS means! LOL
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Comment edited on: 1/12/2011 10:02:38 PM

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DIDMIS 1/12/2011 9:45PM

    Becky I am proud of you and you have and are doing so good. Your new pic is marvelous.
See you tomorrow at TOPS

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