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Day 3...Done Again... For Shan

Friday, January 08, 2010

Woke this morning at 5am...

Snow falling... living at the beach for the last 14 years snow was rare

Been north 2 months... seen more snow in these 2 months than I have in 14 years

I seriously need winter gear... a coat would be a wise purchase

I don't buy clothes

I am not a shopper

I enter stores and start to sweat

My brain goes on overload

Too many choices... most ridiculous... who wears this?

It is day 3 and... I had breakfast

Eating on purpose... for a purpose

Fuel to the fire...

I have gotten quite a few emails in response to my email to GOYAAM

You are all wonderful...some made me cry

Comments on my page...my blog

Received a few goodies

Comfy slippers...flowers from my girl Michelle

THEN...

A GPS from Shan...

Girl you are a mess!! :)

I love you so

Shan says she is glad I found my way home

Gave me a GPS for future use

She asked me to re join DONE

Dang Shan...

FOR YOU SHAN...I WILL BE DONE

Getting at it

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOONLITCHELLE 3/4/2010 9:29PM

    Welcome back to the Done Girls!!!! emoticonYAY!!!!

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ANDALEX 2/18/2010 10:05AM

    welcome back! trust me, this is more snow than we've seen in years, so you're not alone.

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MISSROCKABILLY 1/10/2010 7:58AM

    emoticonback to Spark and the Done Girls!
emoticon

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TANSHAN1 1/9/2010 6:01PM

    Moe...I love you..Thank you!

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CAPECODDIN 1/8/2010 3:45PM

    Seriously, we have had the most snow in years this year... I swear it hasn't been this bad... but of course.. we embrace it because we know Spring will be here before you know it..

oh that salty air calls to me.. you are brave! I could never move away from the sea..

Have a great day!

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TRACYZABELLE 1/8/2010 2:32PM

    emoticon

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PUMPKINFACE73 1/8/2010 2:12PM

    MOE-A-LICIOUS is BACK..Woo Hoo

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MERAINA 1/8/2010 1:58PM

    I'm with Shan on this one! I like ya to be back with the Done Girls too!!!
Got my dancing partner back!!!

Love you!

Keep on dancing,
Meraina

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LADYROSE 1/8/2010 11:45AM

    What they said & more!

And I'm with ya on the "hate to shop" feelings... I'm seriously wanting to look into having a personal seamstress!

You are awesome, darlin! keep on being you!

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SWEETZMIX 1/8/2010 11:00AM

    YO! lol Glad to hear you are back. And ummm yeah you should of gotten a coat like 2 months ago. You forgot it's COLD in the winter. lol

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TELERIE 1/8/2010 10:59AM

    Love ya to pieces! emoticon

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RINSKY3 1/8/2010 10:59AM

    Luv ya emoticon

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CAMPINLADY 1/8/2010 10:51AM

    And so we begin again. Love ya.

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HIPPICHICK1 1/8/2010 8:59AM

    "I enter stores and start to sweat

My brain goes on overload"

I get this way when shopping for pantyhose.
January is a great time for buy winter coats. They're all on sale for like 90% off!! Have fun in the snow and keep on moving!
emoticon

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1888MICHELLE 1/8/2010 8:48AM

    Baby steps darlin...

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Day Two... Lovely To See You Again

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Tracking... Tracking

For The Yammies... Shout out to LadyRose

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhmAVGUho6A

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADYROSE 1/7/2010 2:10PM

    *sigh*

And *swoon*

Still the hottest men in the industry IMO...

Thanks, love!
Made my day!!

emoticon

Steph (who raises a glass to Justin on our shared b-day... yep... total Moody geek ;)

Comment edited on: 1/7/2010 2:16:21 PM

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Truth be told

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

January... 2010

Is it really january... 2010?

seems like the time between now and then was stolen

came back here in april

thought i was ok

truth be told

i wasn't

went fishin again

meditation

visualization

truth be told i abandonded my team
truth be told i lost the spark
truth be told i lost faith

truth be told

I am no leader

I am just a traveler

start again


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PUMPKINFACE73 1/8/2010 2:11PM

    so good to see you Sparking...best of everything to you in 2010 ((hugs))

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IOWAGAL1957 1/7/2010 9:59PM

    good to see you around again!

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CAMPINLADY 1/7/2010 12:54PM

    Glad you're back honey buns.

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THESPARKNHISEYE 1/7/2010 12:39PM

    Welcome back!
emoticon

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JBMT08 1/7/2010 9:09AM

    Mo, welcome back. sometimes we all need time to reconnect with ourselves before we can lead and support others. I am glad that you took this needed hiatus and now you are BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!

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MOEDANCING 1/7/2010 8:52AM

    thank you everyone... my friends:)

Shan I am sorry to have hurt you...

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1888MICHELLE 1/7/2010 8:40AM

    Nothing wrong with a break. No abandonment issues allowed...

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FIT_TERI 1/6/2010 9:54PM

    So glad to hear from you, Moe. I love VEEJAY's ember analogy...I think it's perfect. You didn't abandon or lose anything. You needed to put some things on hold while you took care of some others. I'm so glad to see you back here. And you don't have to always be leading to be a leader.
emoticon

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TRACYZABELLE 1/6/2010 7:04PM

    We have faith in you and we know you think about us-- sometimes we need to step back.. it is okay really! Happy New year Happy New YOU!

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KARBIE18 1/6/2010 5:12PM

    Woo Hoo! So great to see you! I never felt abandoned, just concerned. Life happens. We all understand.

Welcome back!
Karen

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TANSHAN1 1/6/2010 4:38PM

    ohhh Moe....I'm glad you have resurfaced ...I have worried for you and about you....I have missed you and to be honest {which I am to a fault}...I have been angry that you disappeared...when I needed you and you needed me..us...support, friends, words of cheer, words of comfort...just an ear to listen...or maybe a silent emoticon...I AM glad you are back...wanna be my friend?

Shannon

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CAROLJ74 1/6/2010 4:08PM

    Truth be told you never abandoned your team...we have been behind you all the time.

Truth be told you never lost your spark...it just burned a little dimmer

Truth me told you NEVER lost your Faith...its been in you all along

You are home now!

WELCOME HOME DARLIN...WELCOME HOME

Comment edited on: 1/6/2010 5:40:36 PM

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TELERIE 1/6/2010 3:31PM

    Moe, you're a beautiful soul, a glowing ember as VEEJAY says. And you are SO WELCOME HOME!!!
((((hugs))))

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PRETTYBLKGYRL 1/6/2010 2:00PM

    Ms. Maureen it is SO GOOD to see you again. We all need time off - some longer than others. (in fact I just came back in October after my own hiatus)

So please continue to lead & inspire as you always have. & please know your contributions have always been appreciated.

*hug*

Ke
ena

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VEEJAY3 1/6/2010 1:58PM

    Hmmm. I think a spark that's just quietly there waiting to flare back into life is called an ember.
You were an ember.
An ember we remembered. Fondly.

soooooo nice to have you back again!

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MOEDANCING 1/6/2010 1:15PM

    EB... I knew you would say that:) !!!

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SWEETZMIX 1/6/2010 12:49PM

    Well let's get back to it!

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RINSKY3 1/6/2010 11:59AM

    emoticon
Glad to have you back =) We all need some time out.

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MICHELAR 1/6/2010 11:47AM

    So good to see you back doll!

Michela emoticon

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GALPAL911 1/6/2010 10:47AM

    Reading your words and thinking there shouldn't be too many things in your list of what you're NOT...

First of all, we've all been there, some are still "there", and some have not (or maybe will not ever) return... That's sad, but it's not what you've done!

Mainly, the fact that you're HERE NOW tells me you've been thinking about HOME all the time! And that's no abandonment! That's no loss of spark!! That's no loss of faith!!!

Plus we've always known you'd be back!! :o))

Welcome back! Welcome HOME!!!

Gal emoticon

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LADYROSE 1/6/2010 10:44AM

    Yeah, what Ramona said!

Keep on, keepin' on... thinking of you often... and thinkin' these are for you, as much as they are for me:

"Let my word for crisis also mean the potential for opportunity."
—terry HelWig

"Storms only make trees take deeper roots" - unk.

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_RAMONA 1/6/2010 10:24AM

    Hmmm... truth be told...

* the team has continued in different ways... THAT speaks of leadership - we each continued on with your example in mind
* you STILL inspire me daily... what is that, if not a spark? YOUR spark?
* keeping on in the face of despair and next to no light in the tunnel... sounds like faith to me.

truth be told

the best leaders travel with no thought to who might follow... they invite by example

that you are ever willing to start again is all the example I need

looking forward to seeing where the journey takes us now

{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}
Ramona



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HIPPICHICK1 1/6/2010 10:14AM

    I'm sure we all feel like that every now and again.
Glad you're "home."
emoticon

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Dead and Gone... For Dom... For Me...For FreeDom

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

May 27 2008...8:10 am

"Momma... "

"the kid ... he died...Momma"

"Momma?... "

"He didn't deserve to die Momma "

"MOMMA..."

"I am sorry Momma"

www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVw1yZTUlkw

9:15 am

"Thank you... yes... 3:00... yes yes... yes... thank you... nothing... he invokes his right to the 5th amendment...got it"

"We will leave now... yes I understand...swat team will be comin... "


"Oh and Mrs. Canale ...

Just so you know... be prepared....

Freight Train's comin"


May 28 5:00 pm


"You Are That my son"...

sweet kisses... the feel of his breath... his strength...

hold on...

I must let go now... please no GOD...no please just a moment longer

wait... let's get in the car... we can drive and drive and drive

off the grid

no one will ever find us

you are my sunshine...

i love you


"Go now... trust"


April 21 2009

Hello again my friends

The test of time

Trying to find my way back home

Traveling down this road too long

Coming home...

Back to Sparky Town

Home

Been a long time

Been fishin =)

Done Fishin

Rowing... HELL YEAH

There is so much to say...

And then again... there are no words

Miles between here and there

Rage
Anger
Loneliness
Grief
Regret
Guilt

Pain


November 7 2008

First Degree Murder: Not Guilty
Second Degree Murder: Not Guilty
Manslaugher: Guilty
2nd Degree: Assault Guilty

There is no truth in justice

January 16 2009

TEN YEARS...

I see him...

across this wide divide

do they see him

do they see my son

do they see truth

they see pain

they seek revenge

they are consumed with hate

with a lust for blood...


He is the most amazing young man my son

I am in awe of him

April 21 2009

I am allowing joy

I do know that I am moving with an intensity that I have never experienced

more to come i am sure

many many many thanks to each member of the garden...

oh and that campinlady...

tender love and care... each and every day

a sweet whisper
a goodie


Moe

I love you
I miss you
Come back

growth
strength
sunshine
live
love
laugh


THE OLD ME IS DEAD AND GONE...

That part of me left yesterday
The heart of me is strong today
No regrets I'm blessed to say
The old me dead and gone away...

THE NEW ME WILL BE ALRIGHT

I CAN
I WILL
HELL YEAH

GOYAAM

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SANLONDON 5/7/2009 5:49PM

    Love the blog entry! Welcome back Moe (I'm back too!)

San.

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PUMPKINFACE73 4/30/2009 11:43AM

    MOE-A-LICIOUS...in my thoughts and prayers everyday...so good to see you back, wishing you all the joy and happiness in the world...always

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FITINNYC 4/24/2009 1:35PM

    Welcome back Moe! Hugs.

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JENNCRRT 4/24/2009 8:20AM

    oh Moe, I have missed you so!!!

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IML8AGAIN 4/23/2009 11:57PM

  Welcome back, Moe, I missed you!

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ANDALEX 4/23/2009 3:32AM

    welcome back. i am in awe of your strength and courage. peace.

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SWEETZMIX 4/22/2009 2:22PM

    Moe..we have all missed you. Maybe I the most (yeah I can get selfish like that.) Very few can understand what you are going through. At times I miss my uncle, last time I seen him I was a baby, but we have to press on, right?!? Pressing ON!!

YOU CAN
YOU WILL
HELL YEAH

Time to start rowing!!

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HEATHERBFIT 4/22/2009 12:28PM

    Moe Moe Moe... Welcome back, you amazing woman/mother/person. SO SO SO good to have you updating here on Spark again. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. emoticon

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KIMPAINTS 4/22/2009 10:12AM

    Moe Darlin, My heart goes out to you! I just luv ya, glad you are back.
" If People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within." Keep your light shining darlin. I missed you! Kimmy

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RINSKY3 4/22/2009 9:53AM

    WELCOME BACK emoticon

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MERAINA 4/22/2009 8:32AM

    Love ya dancin' queen...
Know that my heart goes out to you.
Love ya,
Linda
"TCD"

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GREENEYES334 4/22/2009 8:31AM

    Missed you! emoticon

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JESPAH 4/22/2009 8:02AM

    Hell yeah I'm glad you're back.

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ADNAW_YOTS 4/22/2009 5:50AM

    i LOVE YOU MOE tears ran down my face email coming your way today

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CAMPINLADY 4/22/2009 5:48AM

    I am sobbing for you. Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! A good boy...a moment in time...changes for a lifetime. I love you Moe. I'm so happy you're back.

Comment edited on: 4/22/2009 5:50:47 AM

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KAREN_01 4/22/2009 4:30AM

    Welcome back!!

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TELERIE 4/22/2009 2:25AM

    I love you so! Good to have you in Sparky Town again! Welcome home! emoticon

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TRACYZABELLE 4/22/2009 12:07AM

    emoticonWelcome back hunny! You are missed dearly when you are away! emoticon

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AINTSKEERD 4/21/2009 11:28PM

    Welcome home!

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CAROLISCIOUS 4/21/2009 10:48PM

    HEY-LL YEH!! Welcome back!

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MVMEME 4/21/2009 10:40PM

    emoticongood to hear from you!

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**PRICELESS** 4/21/2009 10:29PM

    Me too! I love you & am so glad you're here!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CAROLJ74 4/21/2009 10:24PM

    I love you!

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For ...J... Sister Don't Cry

Friday, January 09, 2009

I am going fishing... gonna leave "on a Spark Break" on my page.

Time to see where the next stop is for the Freight Train Comin
This devastating train that has been rollin through my life since May

"You won't always get thunder
to warn you of storms ahead"

It has been rough
No words
I have written some cryptic blogs
Those of you that have followed along

I Thank You

I have been walking through Hell
Holding my son
Using my energy and my words
Deepening the bond
Yet not being able to touch his form

Some of you find inspiration by my words
Cryptic as they may be sometimes they resonate with you

We are all fragile
We all struggle with our challenges
With our pain

The connection I experience with you
Has left me breathless
You have carried me through

The admonition not to speak of specifics
Hard for Moe
The next stop will put an end to that

Before I go fishin
I wanted to talk to ...J...
Beautiful...Lovely
...J...

She is my friend
One of the new seeds planted in the garden
I need you to watch out for her

K?

She bought a pretty yellow broom
With a pretty yellow dust pan
She set it by the stairs...it looked pretty there

She is suffering so
She is struggling to get through
To pick up that pretty broom

...J...

This is for you... From Collective Soul

First React
Then Believe...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_DDOppAvkM

Well, if I could, you know I would
Let salvation reign on you

Conquer some serenity
Lay yourself in fields of poetry
Close your eyes to all you see
Lay your weary head here with me


I CAN
I WILL

PHYSICALLY STRONG
MENTALLY PREPARED
EMOTIONALLY BALANCED

FREE DOM

Gone Fishin....

www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp?id=..
.J...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANDALEX 3/14/2009 4:37AM

    be well, come back when you can. i'm sending you good thoughts :)

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LITTLE_GIRL 2/13/2009 10:19PM

    Moe, I left a comment on your page before I read this blog. I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Remember to take care of you too and to keep breathing, one breath at a time.

Gigi

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FATCATTN 1/16/2009 9:45PM

    You will be missed, hurry back!

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MULTIMOM 1/12/2009 9:26AM

    Moe,
Although you will be 'gone fishin' please know that you are forever with us in our hearts! We will continue to flame the spark........You are loved, hugged, and cherished! Love you to bits!!
Terri
emoticon

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MERAINA 1/12/2009 9:13AM

    Love ya MOE!
Praying for you always.
When you are out the fishin'... think of ole Meraina and dance a little, just for the heck of it!
MUAH!
Keep on Dancing,
Meraina

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WOLFKITTY 1/11/2009 5:36AM

    Don't forget to stop and just breathe. I will think of you in many breaths to come.
Hugs n love,
Joce

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CAMPINLADY 1/10/2009 9:14PM

    Aw baby...I feel that pain. Holding you and your son close. Love ya babycakes.

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TRECECOOKS 1/10/2009 3:33PM

    Holding you in my heart till you return, darlin'. Muah!

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...J... 1/10/2009 1:47AM

    Awwww, Moe, you will be so missed by me and soooo many others. But you have to do what you have to do. It means so much to me that on your way to your break you take the time to think of me and my pain. Thank you for the words, thank you for the song, and thanks for these tears running down my face. My broom is still sitting where I left it. Hopefully by the time you return it won't be either pretty or sitting by the stairs anymore for that will mean that I found the strength to bring it upstairs and put it to work. Today it seems like it just doesn't matter.
I hope you find your way back to us. For someone I never really met I am very attached to you and also really look up to you.
Thank you for being there, for caring, for loving, for being you.
While you're gone I will be working on getting stronger and finding my freedom, again. I thought I had it all. It's hard to start over.
First React, Then Believe... ok I think I got it. Just have to put it into action.
I'll miss you dear Moe and look forward to your return. But I can't promise to not cry... not just yet. I'm working on it tho.

emoticon

Love,
J


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TANSHAN1 1/9/2009 7:48PM

    My heart is with ya! emoticon emoticon

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TAZIAH 1/9/2009 7:07PM

    Take our love with you to keep you strong, Moe! We'll miss you, and will definitely await your return! emoticon

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ANOVED74 1/9/2009 3:49PM

    We'll miss ya!
Peace and love,

Devona
emoticon

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RIVER0 1/9/2009 3:34PM

    Peace to you, we are with you in spirit.

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AWESOMEFOREVER 1/9/2009 3:21PM

    Be at peace with yourself.


Linda

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CAPECODDIN 1/9/2009 2:11PM

    Peace my friend.... take it one day at a time.... as Frank Sinatra said... "I pick myself up and get back in the race... that's life..." ok, so I admit I have varied music interests... but it's a very motivational song...

My prayers, thoughts, and hopes are with you....

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KIMPAINTS 1/9/2009 12:33PM

    Moe Darlin, Know that I am with you, take my hand, lean on my shoulder, I am kissing your cheek and sending you energy to help you get through. Breath in breath out!!! Take care of our Moe !!! BE! emoticon If there is anything I can do I am here.

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CILLA0025 1/9/2009 12:29PM

    We'll miss you Moe!! xoxo

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TRACYZABELLE 1/9/2009 12:15PM

    Be sure to keep praying for us because we willl be praying for you! HUrry abck to us ...

TracYZ

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JESPAH 1/9/2009 12:15PM

    Hey you know the Carole King song, "You've Got a Friend"? I like it better than the James Taylor version. It's a song that, I feel, needs minor chords. Because that's when you need friends the most.

Here for you, in whatever form works for you and makes sense for you.

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**PRICELESS** 1/9/2009 12:14PM

    =( I hate to see you go but believe that what you're needing to do is most important! My thoughts & prayers are with you! Please hurry back to us beautiful!
Hugs!

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SWEETZMIX 1/9/2009 12:13PM

    Love you Moe!! Many of us do. We will hold it down even if I have to threaten and beat the crap out of everyone. I know you will be back. You always do!! Take care, stay strong and remember tomorrow is another day. We live in the here and the now!! So we will worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes. Take it day by day, hour by hour, & minute by minute!!

emoticon

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GOLDENPEARLE 1/9/2009 12:07PM

    MOE-- I am so sad to know that your leaving. I send you Hugs and Friendship.

You are in my prayers....XOX Wendy/ Goldenpearle

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NORTHSTAR04 1/9/2009 11:52AM

    NO MOE! I don't want you to go! This team needs what you bring ...

AHHHH, okay, I willl let you go. I will trust that you know best what you need right now to mend your soul.....BUT, do not stay away too long... for you will be missed. I am sending love & hugs and all the prayers that you need to get through this crazy thing called life. Blessings, baby!

"May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be ever at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
And the rain fall softly on your fields
And until we meet again, May God hold
you in the hollow of his hand" emoticon

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PSCARPA16 1/9/2009 11:47AM

    Moe,
Have loved u from the beginning!! My sista, I hpe you catch that big fish that you are looking for I hold u and your family in my heart! you are always in my thoughts and prayers!
emoticonand emoticon
patty Girl

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RINSKY3 1/9/2009 11:37AM

    emoticon

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NPHGAL 1/9/2009 11:13AM

    We'll miss you greatly! Hope you'll come back to us soon!

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SURFIE 1/9/2009 11:13AM

    So sorry to hear you won't be around for a while. I'm in the dark about what's going on (need to go back and read your old blogs and see if I can figure it out!), but please know you will be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope everything ends up being okay. (If that's even an option. I know there are some things that will never be okay, and I hope it isn't one of those things.) *HUGE HUGS* Feel free to reach out to me if you need anything that I can provide!

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CAROLJ74 1/9/2009 11:10AM

    My sweet Moe! I love you! I know even though you are taking a break you will never be far from me. You know that you both are always in my thoughts and prayers. And you know this group of mixed nuts is going to miss the heck out of you!


emoticon

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TELERIE 1/9/2009 11:10AM

    I'll keep you in my heart and thoughts, sending you strength.

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ITISSPARKTIME 1/9/2009 11:05AM

    I will keep you in my thoughts as well. You definitely spark a little spark in all of us and I will miss you. I bid you well in your struggles. Remember, what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. emoticon

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PRETTYBLKGYRL 1/9/2009 11:04AM

    Ms. Moe - you will remain in my thoughts & prayers until you return. Stay strong & know that your YAMMIES love & support you!!

You will be missed - so PLEASE don't stay away too long

emoticon Keena

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ME4CAM 1/9/2009 11:03AM

  Moe,
My thoughts and prayers are with you !!
I will miss you !!

Take care of yourself,
Lots and Lots of LOve,
Dawn emoticon

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KAREN_01 1/9/2009 10:46AM

    I'll keep you in my thoughts.....

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HEATHERBFIT 1/9/2009 10:40AM

    Cryptic, yes... I am supporting you, loving you, praying for you from Chicago and I don't even know why. But I know YOU are a good person who deserves more than whatever is going on. I trust that my prayers for you are not for evil doings.

Moe... J... emoticon emoticon emoticon and if there was an emoticon for prayers, I'd be sending that, too.. God Bless you, Moe!!!

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