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Double-mindedness keeps me stuck

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

I find myself lounging in my bed with the tv noise wafting through the air. Having recently become unemployed I have a few weeks before I begin a new college career. This beautiful season of nothing-to-do has brought me to the serene waters of self-evaluation, where I am sitting at the edge of reflection. My patterns of thinking are consistent and when I examine the patterns, it is clear as to why I have not experienced the breakthrough in weight that I desire. I am double minded. I teeter between two worlds. In one, I can cheat here or there, be lazy, or half-hearted and give in when the going gets tough. In the other world I imagine myself feeling hungry before I eat, and eating nutritious foods. I exercise daily and drink plenty of water. I don't give in to temptations.

This teeter totter has caused my weight to go up by 5 or 10 pounds and back down. Sure, at least I'm not climbing up only, but how frustrating to experience the same failures and frustrations over and over. Eventually, one would give up completely, feeling like there's no hope of reaching the dream. You know what they say about the dream deferred...

So, now with time on my side, and a refreshing break from all the stress of my life, with God's help, I can believe in the truth: healthy choices produce healthy satisfying results. When the scale doesn't move, when the cake screams my name, when the comfort of food is a strong presence in my consciouness, I can believe that if I continue to choose healthy, I will look and feel healthy. My choices come first, and then results.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHERBOO1 12/11/2013 11:20AM

  I so needed to hear this today. You described me exactly. I have been on a plateau for months after losing 25 pounds.
I upped my exercize, eat healthy and then punish myself with a high calorie meal or snack and then the weight stays the same.
Grrrrr.
I just need to believe that my healthy choices need to be more consistant

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I fired the demon!

Saturday, May 11, 2013

This Saturday morning...my only morning to sleep in, I woke up at 6:00 a.m...couldn't get back to sleep. Got up and moving but still felt so drained and tired. My head busy with the noise of all the "stuff" I have to do today, I noticed a small, little voice interrupt, "you can just work out tomorrow..." I did nothing with that thought, just let it linger there. Focusing again on all I had to do today I began to have a dialogue with that voice. "Yeah, I can do my workout tomorrow. My head hurts, my body is sore and I have too much to do." Then I logged onto my spark coach. I went through my daily tasks and the theme just happened to be about all the excuses we give ourselves to NOT work out. So, I told my "self" to shut up and I did a killer workout! So glad I did. 30 minutes of high intensity cardio and I burned 500 calories!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, I need to fire the little demon that tells me to take the easy road!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIMTHEATHEIST 5/11/2013 12:27PM

    emoticon emoticon

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WALLINMW 5/11/2013 12:24PM

  Stay motivated!

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Uh-oh, here it comes...now what?

Tuesday, May 07, 2013

A week and a half of an excellent program for me. But then about two days ago I noticed some thoughts that didn't line up with my goals. Then I noticed myself "sneaking" a bite here, a bite there, of sugary foods and not counting it. Then yesterday I caught myself in another old behavior that would sabotage me...movie theater popcorn (more than a serving). This morning, then, I woke up and was still so tired (and my sinuses were swollen) that I didn't get up to work out. In the past, this would be where the hills runs downward.

Today, I decided to invest my time into my spark page, my spark coach and re-assessing my goals.

My goal is to move every day. Today I have decided after work I will go to the Lake and jog a few miles. Another goal is to stay within my nutritional guidelines, so I won't eat anything else until dinner and I will continue tracking no matter what! Another goal is to invest in myself the same way I would encourage others to invest in themselves.

I am worth the time. I am worth the thought. I am worth the exercise. I am worth the healthy choices. I'm worthy of love and I will not hide my true self any longer. Press through, press on!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PROPMAN1 5/7/2013 4:09PM

  emoticon Wish you All The Best!

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I'd rather write a victory than eat an ice cream cone...

Wednesday, May 01, 2013

I had planned on just ignoring the fact that I had probably used all my calories, so I could enjoy the milky momentary gratification of an ice cream cone. I had the whole house ready to go. I decided I had better add my last meal before we go, just so I would know how much over I went.

I added the meal and was still in my weightloss range. This was the moment of power: ignore the truth and go over my weightloss range or surrender the idea of the ice cream cone. After about five minutes of contemplation, I decided I would rather write this blog of victory rather than eat the ice cream cone.

This is immediate gratification: I DID IT! Another day of victory.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACEY5280 5/2/2013 9:39AM

    You've inspired me. After the bad decisions yesterday, I'd rather write about a victory today. Congratulations! emoticon

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LOISDESK 5/2/2013 12:23AM

    Good for you!!! emoticon

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DONDAIN 5/1/2013 8:10PM

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Thinking in percentages, not perfectionism.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Some reflection of my choices today:

I could tell you that I ate about 4 bites of popcorn at a school function this evening. I could also focus on the fact that I ate a serving and a half of tortilla chips, or that I was short in my water intake. The old me would be simmering in the guilt, and the lack of perfection. But I won't.

I will tell you of all the beautiful, wonderful choices I made today! Today, I chose to wake up at 5:30 a.m. and do a hard workout for 30 mins. Then I made it a point to track every little thing I consumed today...including the creamer in my coffee. I also did NOT snack after dinner.

I made a lot of decision today out of love for myself...and that's not something I can say every day. Today was a success. A full, 100% success! I stayed in my nutrition ranges and remembered my goals.

In addition, I need to take a look at what was going on that I gave myself approval to deviate from my plan. What did I want? What was I thinking/feeling???? How can I use this to strengthen my game? Let me go get to work on that...

  


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