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Disappointed in myself

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Here it is, July 15th already. I have not done well on my own. I have been a disappointment to myself and I am sure I have not been a breathe of fresh air to many. I need to take a good look at what I have and am doing to myself and try with my mind and heart to make this work. I don't know why I am afraid to make myself healthier and happier. Guess I think that if I don't eat it now I am going to never get something to eat. NOT A GOOD THING! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROL_ 7/15/2009 7:38PM

    These walls we come up against, especially when the wall(s) are inside of ourselves, are like the lights going on, on the dashboard of our car.

They let us know they are there and needing attention. They are sending us signals.

It's still our decision what to do with it! We can ignore it, we can reframe it in positive self talk and label it a "happy light", or we can take it in to a mechanic. We can park it at home until we work extra jobs to get the money to fix it, if the budget can't take the mechanic right now.

You wrote "I need to take a good look at what I have and am doing to myself". Yes. SP is like ten different programs rolled up into one, because after the few outer shallow layers of the onion are peeled, then we have to deal with what lies beneath which is not as simpy dealt with. The deeper things are not as easy. The walls inside of us. The character defects. The unfinished developmental tasks leftover from tough childhoods.

So the light on your dash is now on and has your attention. Take a good look under the hood, at what you're doing to yourself. There's no shame in that. It is a loving, caring, nurturing thing to look at what you're doing to yourself. Pretend you are looking after a child, or your best friend, either of whom you would treat with grace and care not judgement. And if you look under the hood and can't fix it, take it in to the mechanic; and there's no shame in that.

Either way, this happpening to you is a blessing. Because it's shining a spotlight on the buried reason(s) why we remain overweight. The light on your dash is a blessing. The disappointment is a blessing. Loving, caring, and nurturing the part of you that is crying out for care, is a blessing.

This is just another Lifestyle Change along the way. There's water, and sleep, and exercise, and nutritious food, and staying in calorie range, and then there is also this. Just another one of the Lifestyle Changes we need to tackle. (If we don't learn this lesson, then we can take the weight off but sooner or later we'll gain it back again. Or, we'll just keep gaining and die early.) That's another reason this is a blessing. Because this time we're learning how to stop that cycle. This is part of the process, and it is critical and absolutely necessary. And there's lots of support here while you do it this time.

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NOMORESTALLING 7/15/2009 11:06AM

    Do you know how many times I've come to the brink of giving up tossingin the towel because this is taking so LOOOOONG! I only have 50 pounds to lose yet and I'm lucky if i see the scales move once every two three months! SO you know what I threw the scales into the darkest nether regions and rely on what the measuring tape read how my clothing fits and how I feel in mind body and spirirt. Weighing myself even once a week we throwing me into depression because I couldn't get the numbers to go down. And I'm doing evrything right!!!!!!
I'm eating right; eating the right things and portioning them out I make sure I'm NOT below 1200 calories a day. I make sure my fat percentage is between 15-20 percent 30 is the norm. I make sure my carbs protien and sodium levels are within their proper ranges. i'm exercising in oxygen 30 minutes every day. I'm doing my resistance training every day alternating lower and upper body. I'm making sure my body stays adequately hydrated You name it I'm doing it. But the weight CREEPS along.
Soif i can do all of this and still have little to no signs of weight loss the way it should be dropping and still kick defeat to the curb SO CAN YOU!

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JUST4ME927 7/15/2009 8:17AM

    Turn your disappointment into action...just, like Quilt and Lou said, don't ever give up!
My recent revelation is that my weight issue is not about food...it's about unmet needs. Since I started looking at WHY I eat as well as what I eat...things are becoming increasingly clearer. I've been on the yoyo roller coaster for twenty years...but evidently "God's timing" for this for me is NOW.
I thank God for SP, and all the great people here. Sometimes giving a voice (text) to your thoughts, and the feedback of others can turn lights on in an otherwise dark place. You are not alone. One day at a time!

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ALEXSGIRL1 7/15/2009 5:50AM

    now that you know what the problem is you can fix it.make the food is not going away your mantra count to ten and think before you put something in your mouth. you can do this you will do this. you may not be getting enough calories earlier in the day .try a big breakfast snack at 10 lunch snack at 3. then healthy supper.eat whole food not processed when you can.snack on fruit nuts or yogurt.wishing you luck. you can do it. emoticon

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IUHRYTR 7/15/2009 5:44AM

    NEVER, NEVER, NEVER give up! You CAN do it. Second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour and the day is done. You CAN do it. -- Lou

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QUILTINGB52 7/15/2009 4:59AM

    I think the most important thing is that you have NOT given up!! Just keep placing one foot in front of the other ~ remember those baby steps, take this one hour at a time....then one meal at a time.

We CAN do this together!!!!

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Trying again

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Boy this is a journey that I found a person can not put to the side. I have gained some weight, not much, but some is not good. I thought I could just do this weight loss thing without doing any kind of tracking, but have found out differently. I decided to try this again and see what I can do differently this time to make a better me. Congrats to everyone out there that has never given up, you are awesome!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AL_ROX 6/11/2009 9:59PM

    YAY!!! Welcome back Marlene.

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NOMORESTALLING 6/11/2009 5:06PM

    Well you know the old saying If you don't succeed at first try try again! So here we go! And ya gotta know we're all behind ya! emoticon MNIEMEYER go girl go!

Comment edited on: 6/11/2009 5:07:38 PM

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SUPREME5 6/11/2009 3:24PM

    YES YOU CAN DO IT WITH SOME HELP WITH YOUR FRIENDS
IF YOU NEED A HAND MINE IS THERE FOPR YOU TO TAKE
AM GLAD YOU NEVER GAVE UP
DORENE

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HBHOCKEYQUEEN 6/11/2009 12:05PM

    You CAN do it.

"Fall seven times, stand up eight."
~Japanese proverb emoticon

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Thanks for the support

Monday, May 04, 2009

I have received many comments from my last blog. It makes me think a little when I read what you all have to say. I know that my problem is my problem, but sometimes I just need to let people in on my frustrations so that I can try to work them out for myself. This past weekend went pretty well for me. I didn't find myself digging for things I should not have. I stayed active over the weekend. Well more active than normal I would like to say. Sometimes It just takes a kick in the butt to get a little start on what I am doing. I want to post every day from today on. I think It will be a day behind, BUT, it will be posted. Have a great day.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STOPTHECRAVING 5/14/2009 10:24AM

    You can do this! You can work out. You can eat well. You are worth it! Hugs, Jenn

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AL_ROX 5/5/2009 8:23AM

    there's the strong Marlene I knew was in there this whole time. Way to go!

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NOMORESTALLING 5/4/2009 5:14PM

    AND TO THAT FABGRAMMA, I SAY AMEN! emoticon

EVEN THOUGH i LOST WHAT I LOST LAST YEAR HERE IT IS FIVE MONTHS INTO THE NEW YEAR AND I HAVEN'T BUDGED BUT 1 POUND!
MY BODY IS GOING THROUGH SO MANY CHANGES RIGHT NOW; CHANGE OF LIFE, MEDICATIONS I'M ON, THAT I HAVE TO CONTINUOUSLY FIGHT TO MAKE THOSE SCALES MOVE EVEN THE SLIGHTEST.

BUT DO I GIVE UP? NO WAY!! I MAY AT TIMES GET DISCOURAGED BUT IT MAKES ME FIGHT ALL THE MORE! I GET HOT FLASHES AND MOOD SWINGS, AND THE BLUES....YOU NAME IT.... EVERY THING EMOTIONAL! BUT GIVE UP THIS FIGHT FOR BETTER HEALTH I WILL NEVER DO! EVEN GOING THROUGH WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH EATING PROPERLY AND EXERCISING MAKES ME FEEL THE BEST I'VE FELT IN YEARS IN MIND, BODY AND SPIRIT AND IF FOR ONE MINUTE YOU THINK I'M GOING TO GIVE THAT UP! ? NOT IN THIS LIFE GIRL NOT IN THIS LIFE!

Comment edited on: 5/4/2009 5:27:08 PM

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FABGRAMMA 5/4/2009 12:36PM

    We all ned the kick in the butt sometimes, and yes it is nice to vent about our set backs..everyone struggles, whether it's to loose weight or keep it off.. emoticonon not giving up, brushing yourself off and continuing with you healthy eating life challenge

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Feeling Sorry for MYSELF!

Friday, May 01, 2009

Here it is, May 1, 2009. I have been at this weight lose challenge for over a year and the progress has been zilch! So it really seems pointless to me right now to continue. OH MY! The light bulb came back on! Here is what I am thinking. I have not put my heart and soul losing the weight I need to lose. I need to keep reminding myself that if I ever want to get off the medications that I am on, I have to put more effort into controlling my eating habits. I can say that I CAN NOT wait for the cafeteria in the college to close. It is my worst enemy. I don't have the will power to not walk 50 feet to get something to eat, and 9 out of 10 times it is deep fried food. My biggest down fall.

I am going on vacation in August. I want to set this goal for myself and have anyone reading this blog to know what it is. I want to take off at least 10 pounds by the time we leave on vacation and get my steps up to at least 15000 per day to strengthen my leg muscles. Do you think I can do it? I really need to post each evening giving everyone the scoop of my day. I think that would also help me keep myself more on track.

Hope everyone out there has a Wonderful May Day. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ISAWAPUTTYTAT 5/4/2009 11:33AM

    Geri i am sorry to hear you are leaving but i know you can do t his because you kept telling me i can do it and i did so if you told me who does not follow well can do it so can you. You did well and should reward yourself for what you did do and how much effort you put into that . Never put yourself down you are a great lady and a great friend you in my books are #1 and you can keep yourself up jt here with the support of all the spark people you see you did it for me right? so you can do it for me now ok? I will miss you and i am behind you all the way but saying your not going to be here anymore is like saying your giving up please don't give up and stay and be pals with us all let us take your hand and we will help you all the way through this. I hope you can continue to come on and say hello once in awhile i understand if you cannot. you have been a great friend and i will always cherish our friendshop ya know? love you lots and lots and stay well and healthy for me ok?

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1LBDOWN 5/3/2009 12:03PM

  Now wait...

First, like you said, are you REALLY giving it your best effort?

Second, it takes time for your body to recognize what you're doing. Once it does, it often drops in big parcels.

Third, sometimes it doesn't come off in the form of pounds right away. Sometimes, it comes off in inches first, THEN pounds. Are you measuring your progress in inches?

Make sure you're paying attention to all of these things and keep your chin up!

I had to learn that. I had to keep my chins (all of them LOL!) up for some time. It took time and I had to motivate myself through inches first...THEN the pounds started dropping, but I think I lost 11 inches before the pounds started coming off.

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SUPREME5 5/1/2009 10:04PM

    THIS IS COMMING FROM A LAZY 63 YEAR OLD WHO HAD TO GETOFF HER BUTT AND GET WITH THE PROGRAM. ONCE YOU MAKE UP YOUR MIND IT WILL COME EASIER AS TIME GOES BY TRUST ME GIRL.
GO FOR GOLD
DORENE
emoticon emoticon

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CALLIEA 5/1/2009 4:04PM

    I think you can do it as I have set a similar goal for myself to lose 6# by my vacation in mid June.......If we work consistently and not keep putting it off...we CAN and WIll succeed.
Blessings, callie

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CLOWN54 5/1/2009 2:27PM

    I have a new motto, its JUST DO IT! I know its hard at first, but you can do it. your better than the junk food and fried foods. just think about how much more fun the vacation will be when your stronger and lighter! its thirteen weeks before august! don't waste this time, start small everyday do something for yourself. who cares if hubby isn't supportive? its about you, you have to make it about you and forget him (as far as the weight loss goes). mine wasn't either when I started. I did this for me, and then us. I still do things he isn't supportive of, but he gets over it. mine is spoiled by me, so its a new thing for him to adjust too.

ok done with feeling sorry for yourself........times up....... emoticon good luck.......

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ANGELME28613 5/1/2009 1:59PM

    You can do it Marlene! I think Journaling is a Great idea. I would imagine myself 10lbs lighter too in my mind. That helps me stay motivated. You will do Great Marlene...Keep posting each day.

emoticon emoticon emoticon
Pammy

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AL_ROX 5/1/2009 11:13AM

    You can do this Marlene! Do the hard thing...you deserve it...and we deserve it from you. Put down the french fries and step away from the greasy food. Write down everything you eat and get moving. Yes, it's tough to start....some days it absolutely sucks....if it were easy it wouldn't be called "working" out. You are totally worth it Marlene. Use SparkPeople for motivation....come on here, ask for help, whine, complain, whatever....we want you to have success in your personal challenge!

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YICHE12 5/1/2009 10:42AM

    I know you can do it. The only thing is for you to have more confidence in the choosing of your food correctly. Forget about the deef fried foods, fries, etc. You know what you have to eat so go for that. After a while, you will no longer have an urge to eat the food that you once craved for. As for exercise, instead of using the elevator or escalator, use the stairs. Every little bit of effort goes a long way. Walking is an excellent exercise and if you need to be accompanied, ask someone to go along with you. More likely than not, the other person needs it too.

Good luck! emoticon

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CLASSYLADYMAY 5/1/2009 10:40AM

    Hey girl.. YoU can do this.. will take time to develope good habits.. maybe pack lunch.. walk during breaks or lunch.. exercise before you leave in the am.. it can be done but have to make it a habit..! just think how good you will feel in aug when u get down..
a acountable buddy will help too! have a great day hugss Geri

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Really Losing Confidence

Thursday, April 02, 2009

I sure have put myself into a position. I don't know what is happening, but have found that I am having a tough time getting motivated. I have been eating all the wrong things for a while now and for some reason I can't figure out what I need to do to get some ambition and motivation to get back on track. Every morning I say, "today I am going to start over", and guess what!? That lasts about 10 minutes and then I find my way to the rut of eating deep fried food and junk again. It gets very depressing when I think about it. I am not a water drinker unless it is charged/sparkling water and that has got a price tag I don't like. I don't like flavored water, I am scared to death of artificial sweeteners so I don't know what direction to go. I drink to much diet pop, which as you all know has the artificial sweeteners in it and need to stop doing that! I have to stop now and get off the computer. I have to finish what I was doing and am going to go home. I may get on later and write another blog. I feel better just writing what I have already. Have a great night.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEDLAND 4/16/2009 3:40PM

  I think we've all slipped. With our new wellness challenge every coach is seeing that the motivation isn't as high. I'm sure this is because of how busy we are. You should start walking with us in the afternoon. You could just walk a little of the ways if you want and work your way up. Really, it would be fun to have you. I find that when I'm exercising I'm more apt to eat better also.

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QUILTINGB52 4/2/2009 8:36PM

    Blogging your thoughts is a great way to start......makes others aware you are in trouble.

I'm finding that if I plan my meals, plan my exercise and plan my rewards ~ motivation follows. Also, leaving the junk foods at the store helps me make healthier choices.

Am into the stage of "if I bite it, I must write it down" and it's totally helping me realize what times of the day are hardest to get through. Perhaps keeping a food journal will help you get past this slump in the road.

Just remember ~ YOU are so worth this healthy journey!!!
~Ann



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MENAMIA 4/2/2009 8:10PM

    I have been where you are and at times I revisit that place. There is no magic or secret to getting motivated, all you can do is push and press yourself to do it. It's just that simple, I look for every excuse not to workout and when it comes to munch cheating, boy everything is a reason for eat, but at some point you have to think about your health, your loved ones, yourself. Getting healthy and staying healthy you MUST do for you, for most either you get fed up or extreme you get sick, don't let that be the reason for you to get fit, I know what that is like and it is not pretty. Take baby steps maybe try cutting out soda pop once a week and so on, then maybe try working out 10-15 minutes a day, there are some really cool 10-15 workout DVDs I have several and love them, everybody has 10 minutes, after a while it will become habit and you might even enjoy it, also what works for me I love getting point daily here at Spark people. Blogging is also a way of getting it out and sometimes after I blog the craving is gone, just do something and don't worry about how much just start, take care, I'm her if you need more support! emoticon

P.S. I used to hate a lot of healthy foods like brown rice, veggie and yes water, since I have been Sparking I eat and drink all of them daily emoticon By the way I LOVE fried foods too, but I have found some pretty cool ways of making my favorites oven fried with cooking spray instead of oil, check out spark recipes for some ideas.

Comment edited on: 4/2/2009 8:14:43 PM

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MARTY19 4/2/2009 7:28PM

    I was never a water drinker either. It is a earned habit. Have you tried Crystal Light. I like that alot in lemonade and lineade. Plan you menu the day before. Pack your lunch so you don't get tempted. Make an appointment to exercise every day. You can do this - one small step at a time.

Marty

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NOMORESTALLING 4/2/2009 6:09PM

    I think everyone of us gor through times like this and then all of a sudden one day something triggers the RIGHT STUFF again and we pick up our motivation where we left it and carry on!
Bloggin about it is certainly a Plus because it shares with everyone what you are struggling with and then the supporters all come to your aid!
How long is awhile? Think back what was it that could have triggered the "fall of track" Something psychological or emotional? Some event? Could even be something someone said. Then ask yourself was it illegal immoral or life threatening? If not why would it cause such a drastic change in measures for you? Start writing things down make a list if it helps. Whatever you do don't let it cause you to give up! We're here for you to help get you back on track, help find that motivation again!


Comment edited on: 4/2/2009 6:12:03 PM

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ANGELME28613 4/2/2009 5:55PM

    I'm so sorry Marlene. I sometimes add lemon slices, squeeze a couple little grapes in my water. I actually love water, but sometimes I want it differently. watermelon is good in water too. I always liked fried foods and now I eat them baked. My favorite is to grind up pork rinds in the blender, season, and use for coating on pork or chicken. The pork rinds have no carbs. My Son didn't believe me when I told him what it was. He and Hubby loved it.

It is hard Marlene and if writing helps...then you should blog or journal it out. emoticon

emoticon emoticon emoticon
Pammy

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