MMMONET   8,325
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depression doesn't equal fat

Saturday, January 07, 2012

Life is catching up to me.
Usually, I binge eat and still get a ton accomplished (including gaining a few pounds). I've decided not to find comfort in food but what has happened is now I just want to go back to sleep. I don't want to get out of bed. In fact, I'm still in my sleepwear at 12:30 in the afternoon, lounging in the bed while typing this.
I couldn't get my tail in gear and made excuses for not being ready so Thatman went on errands without me. I know when he comes back he thinks I'll be washed, dressed and even half way cute. Living with someone is NOT conducive to feeling BLAH.
If i still lived alone I could do nothing all weekend and then Monday feel bad about it and go into a manic cleaning rage. *SIGH*
And NO I don't want to get up and exercise.
Have I mentioned that depression sucks.
Well, here's to another cup of liquid energy (COFFEE) and going to do my hair. Pay no attention to the sluggish grouchy woman waddling through the house.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Lots of emoticon comments !
( I'm still in my PJ's too ! )
After I finish Sparking, I'll get dressed, and join the outside world !

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GERTIE926 1/8/2012 8:05AM

    Depression sucks and when you have the feeling that no one understands makes it feel worse. I know I've been there. It's an awful downward spiral. Reach out to someone. Tell them you don't want advise, you just need to vent. Hope things will get better. I'll say a prayer for you.

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GAYLLYNNE 1/8/2012 12:15AM

    Hang on. Sometimes life just throws a curve ball. I too suffer from depression sometimes. Going outside, getting some sunshine can work wonders. Good luck!

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SALTRAV 1/7/2012 10:49PM

    Hey don't sweat it. The fact that you are still in bed and not raiding the fridge has to be a good thing!
I didn't get out of my PJ's till 2.30pm today. The weather is yuk and all there was to do was watch TV. So... I got out the knitting to keept the hands busy and watch the box.
Depression does suck. I know as I have suffered myself on and off for years.
If you fancy a good read about it try "All Blacks Don't Cry" by John Kirwin.
Keep strong and sometimes we do need to slouch around and be slobs.
I did manage to get sorted by 3.00pm and showered and put on make-up and I feel a bit better. I have to walk the dog so that's how I'll get out the door today!!!

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A Year Later & Nothing on My Profile is Relevant

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

I'm back!
I've been gone from Sparkpeople for a good year. Whenever I become hooked on SP I do lose weight so I'm not sure what my problem was.
I just looked at my page and EVERYTHING is different!
I used to see the other half of my blended family only on weekends and holidays. Now, after seven years, we have moved in together *insert panicked scream*. I am about to be 42 and have never really lived with a man before lol There is a LOT to adjust to and a lot of compromise going on daily. *his disgusting food choices area whole other blog entry*
I jumped back on here just after Christmas at 197lbs. Today about a week later I have lost 3 pounds WHOOOT!
I no longer want to move my stomach like Ciara lol BUT I do want to see everything I need to see on myself when I look down LOL
I no longer own my childcare business of ten years. For the first time in over ten years I now have a boss. Very stressful to not be able to just do what I see needs to be done and even more stressful to not be paid on time. *again, a separate blog post I suppose*
I got an Xbox Kinect, Zumba and Just Dance 3 game for the holidays so now it's just a matter of getting 5 men out of my way so I can actually do them. They are FUN!!! And sooo worth it for me to irritate them and kick them off the TV so I can get on. Finding a healthy level of selfishness is something I need to work on.

Well, I'm not great at blogging..I don't really get the format and feel like I'm rambling. If someone has helpful hints I am excited to read them!

Here's to not allowing depression, stress, or life changes being the reason for my gaining weight. I used SP to lose 53 pounds before (I have gained most of it back now while being away from SP) and I know that I can do this again and I believe I know better now how to keep it communicating and reaching out to friends and SP for support!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GERTIE926 1/8/2012 8:09AM

    Get back to you team. There are a lot of daycare workers looking for you. I just added myself to your team. I would love to chat with people that I have things in common with. emoticon emoticon

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MMMONET 1/7/2012 1:26PM

    Thanks, Ladies!
lol yes, I'm back. I'm determined because I know how successful I've been here before :)

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    Welcome back ! emoticon
I enjoyed reading your blog !
I hope that you'll be able to do your zumba, and other exercises, too !
Eating sensibly will also help your weight-loss endeavors !
emoticon on the three pounds you have just lost !
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
I look forward to more blogs, from you !

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UGGGGGHHHHH 1/5/2012 8:31AM

    I knew I'd find you back here! Blogging has no purpose other then to see your thoughts. You can write for you, or write for others. If your blogging your not eating!

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LIZZYP609 1/5/2012 7:33AM

    Good to see you back! WOW! Lots of life changes in the past year!
You can do this, you have to put you into your schedule. Even if it means putting your workout time on an actual calendar!
As you said, you did it once, you can do it again!

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SALTRAV 1/5/2012 12:06AM

    You go girl. Kick those men off and do your stuff. Even if it means getting up a bit earlier. If you do that then you've done it for the day and you don't have the stress of battle of the TV.
There is no format to blogging. It's just and online diary so ramble away. I love the support you get from blogging and no matter how you are feeling there is always someone feeling the same or with the same problem. So..... keep online. emoticon

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Day 2 of Shakeology Cleanse~conquered for pizza!

Sunday, January 23, 2011


Day two of my Shakeology Cleanse..conquered coffee now for my nemesis pizza!

Sunday, January 23, 2011
My new blogsite.
I'm trying lol


never "blogged" before

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Okay, Everything else that i have tried thru Sparkpeople has really worked for me, so since it is required to complete points, I am going to BLOG.
I have been here for a couple of months and at times have been real serious and at others I've been real serious about feeling guilty for not being so serious about my new lifestyle.
I don't say lifestyle to be cute. I always thought that people were using that "lifestyle" label to make dieting easier. I actually am starting to live the lifestyle that i used to enjoy. I don't have any desire to sit up and eat peanut butter out of the jar while watching Jerry late night. I still watch Jerry but that's because I work with children all day and need some adult trash entertainment :) Now I do my strength exercises or stretches while it's on :)
I know that I could be more committed in the exercise arena. I use the excuse of having four children, an in-home child care and all day preschool, working from 6:30am-6pm,, trying to help area providers, etc. etc. etc. Oh I can do the excuse thing until Sparkpeople says there's no more characters left in the blog LMaO
I know they are excuses and I know from previous experience that the more I exercise the more energy I will have to complete everything I need to do, including exercise!

I was a fat child. A just right teen. Thought I was too cute twinkling 20. And thennn I moved to a part of the country that's weather and overall lifestyle is not conducive to great health smh not only that but at 27 got pregnant. I didn't use the baby as an excuse to be overweight though! I used the bells palsy and the paralization of the left side of my face to become depressed and not care if I was becoming obese. I became 208 lbs. I dropped down to 150. Had my second child at 35 and blew up again. I didn't really care much for or about myself and got to 197. Now I'm 39yrs old (although for some reason thought I was 40 for the last 5 months emoticon. I teeter between 172 and 168 depending on what I did the day before.
I don't know that I'll ever even want to be 125lbs again. I think that I would like to get to 145 and then evaluate my health and my opinion of my looks then.

I'm having an issue with this blogging because i read other's and they are so uplifting and philosophical and quite frankly tell allll the author's business. I am very private. I share opinions left and right but not so much personal feelings. Who knows maybe that's why it is taking me so long to live the life that I want to live.
Oh, well. There it first blog. Yep you just wasted an entire 4minutes reading it LOL emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAMEL622 8/14/2009 10:49AM

    Fantastic blog!! I really enjoyed reading it! Keep up the great work and be gentle with yourself too. I think we are our own worst critics. ...make your day Sparkle...kath

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    Way to go on your first Blog. As you see this is not a diet but a change in your lifestyle. I have been here since November and I can see the small changes that I have been making and they are making a big difference. Today I was going to buy something out of the vending machine and I really did not want the extra empty calories.
I also like to do my exercise while I watch TV.

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ALASKAN 8/7/2009 1:00AM

    Hello Lady,
For being your 1st blog, I would give you an A+ on it. You got to the point and kept focused on what you wanted to say. You said it really well and thank you for sharing. It kept my mind reading and my attention all the way through. Would like to hear more from you and I'm here anytime that you want to talk and me listen or vice versa. If I'm not online, leave me a message and I will answer as soon as I come on. I check my Spark mail 1st and it's important to stay in focus and in touch with you team mates. Talk to you soon, take care, and have a great weekend.
emoticon Always, ERNA (Team Leader)

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MMMONET 8/7/2009 12:07AM

*kinda blushing*
thank you all for the incredible support!!
I'm kind of at a loss for words but I have decided that I will write more blogs.
I logged in to enter my foods eaten and saw that I had SEVEN comments. I honestly didn't think anyone would see this LOL But at this moment am glad that all of you did. Thank you!

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DAVENPLK 8/6/2009 7:29PM

  Your first blog was totally amazing. Keep blogging!!!!

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JGMK55 8/6/2009 7:13PM

    Reading and being privvy to someone else's thoughts is never a waste of time. Well done!! You are definitely moving in the right direction. I smiled when you said you thought you were 40 for five months when you weren't. I went through that before I hit 50. Who knows why? Maybe it was just easier preparing. Anyhow, I'm glad you blogged and I'm glad I read it. Keep sharing your thoughts. Janice

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    Nope. I didn't waste any time reading your blog. My time is limited, so I don't waste it. Your blog was worthy of reading. I appreciate your humor, candor, and perseverance. Even on a road trip, wouldn't traveling on a straight, flat line be boring? I disagree with labeling "four children, an in-home child care and all day preschool, working from 6:30am-6pm,, trying to help area providers, etc. etc. etc." as excuses. Rather, each is cause for additional self-reward and celebration, because you manage to fit in your SparkPeople goals. It gets easier. I hope you don't feel you've wasted 4 minutes reading our comments! More blogs, please! ;-) Take care.

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POLISHLOVER 8/6/2009 4:45PM

    Congrats on your first blog! It's never a waste, don't sell yourself short. Good luck and hang in there!

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ANMRUNNER 8/6/2009 4:36PM

    Feel free to share anything you'd like on your blog! I blog about personal things, I rant on mine, I think I've even posted an inspiring quote or two. Lots of people blog what they ate that day, their exercise plan for the week, goals they hope to attain. Anything you please is fair game on a blog.

Your first blog was great though. At least you're identifying issues you have and stepping up to change them. No sense in burying them anymore! Get them out there and then fix them! You sound like you're on the right track. Keep it up!

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SCHAUJODY 8/6/2009 4:35PM

    You did an excellent job on your first blog. It's not always easy sharing our thoughts but remember we're all friends here. Good luck.

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2010TRIATHLETE 8/6/2009 4:27PM

    Congrats on your first blog! I feel the same way you do. I'd never shared much info with "strangers" before SP. I blog at least once a week now. And I can say that not all of mine are flowers & motivation. I struggle & sometimes just need to share that & get some positive feedback to help push me through.

It sound like you've a crazy busy life & lots of things to deal with. You're off to a great start, though! Hang in there! You can do this!

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