MMACHICK2010   2,583
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Denial... more than a Big River

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I have lost a lot of weight (Yay me) and I have struggled for a LONGGGG time for the remaining 30-50 pounds I "should" loose... and I haven't be able to figure out why.

I think the why has been answered. It came to me... in the shower. I leaned back to rinse my hair and I could feel the muscles in my abs contract from all of my Pilates classes. I think "good stretch" and I visualize my flat-ish stomach.

Here is the kicker... I don't have a flat stomach. Or even a flat-ish one... I have a strong core covered in excess weight. My denial is that I forget that I still have weight to lose. Often. That denial lets me eat off my lifestyle plan... because I worked out HARD! And it Shows!! But it doesn't.... I have work to do still... I have weight to lose. I am still surprised at seeing a reflection (must be a bad angle) and photographs... (wow, bad photo... I don't really look like that.) Or do I?

So now that I know the why... what about the how? How do I get back the Honeymoon? How do I stop self sabotaging and stop allowing others to sabotage me? (You look great! You don't need to lose any more!!) I need to find some honesty with myself and with my family & friends...


Never TapOut.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUTEAFULL 7/21/2011 2:09PM

    aerobics will take care of the belly flab that is the stubbornist flab to get rid of, that's why I started jogging to diminish mine, not gone but smaller now

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DEBBAK710 7/20/2011 5:55PM

    I completely understand. I'm a self-saboteur (sp?) myself and I can't stand it. I say to myself, "You can't/shouldn't eat that" and yet I do it anyway. I have lost & gained, lost & gained so many times. I need to learn to listen to my mind and my body more. Tell my mind to shut the hell up, and to my body when it says, "you're full." I look at myself sometimes and can't believe that what the scale says is accurate. I can't possibly weigh 227lbs, it just can't be! I don't look like someone who weighs that much, but I am, and I have to face it and do something about it. Thanks for letting me know that I'm not the only one! :)

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Medication Daily... NOW??

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

My birthday week.... and I just go put on blood pressure medication. NOW. After losing 70+ pounds... now I have high blood pressure? My doctor tells me, "you will probably go off these once you loose some weight." (I refrained from smacking her.) I asked her for a medical explanation for low to normal blood pressure when I was 70 pounds heavier? Her reply? "Uh... maybe it is genetics, then."

Maybe you need to go back to medical school and re-take the "Bedside Manner 101" and "Read the Damn Chart Before You Share An Opinion 201" classes.

YES I have another 45 pounds to loose. But weight is not the only factor in hypertension. I am a healthy overweight person (in general) I do Pilates 3 times a week. I run 3-5 miles 4 times a week. I take belly dancing classes. I play soccer. I run at least 2 races a month (usually a 5K) and I am training for a half marathon.

My frustration is this... extremes. Either WEIGHT is everything that is wrong with me or it is NOT discussed. Where is the middle? 70 pounds ago my doctor (same practice, different physician) NEVER said anything about maybe I should loose the weight. Now, my weight is the sole reason for everything. I tore my ACL playing soccer when I was hacked by another player (dirty son of **^%$)... it took several visits before I was referred to a surgeon because Dr. Blondie (same one from this week) kept saying it was just sore knees from being heavier than I should be. Um.... the cleat shaped bruise on the inside of my knee? Not a hint?? I think I should have used a red Sharpie and drawn an arrow with the words "Focus Here!!"

And the medical community wonders why so many people rely on WebMD and Dr. Oz's show for self diagnosis..... emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MMACHICK2010 7/20/2011 5:32PM

    I wish I could blame the BP cuff at the doc's office. I bought my own and tracked it daily for 8 weeks... I averaged 150/98.. with an occasional high of 160+/100+

Meds have worked (*&)(*&^^^%%%$$#$##$@#@$#!!!! I am consistently on the low end of average for the last few days. Doctor change is definately in order!

emoticon

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BEANYGIRL 7/15/2011 6:51PM

  Make sure you stay hydrated...that can affect your BP...so can going into perimenopause...I agree with Joni...get your own cuff and learn to take your BP...as with weigh-ins, taking your BP at the same time of day can make a difference too...Loved the comments ie 'bedside manner' ^^^ lol, but in all seriousness, if you can change doctors, I'd do it in a heartbeat (pun intended) emoticon...Take care, Beany

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MARTY728 7/15/2011 8:56AM

    Loved "Bedside Manner 101" and "Read the Damn Chart Before You Share An Opinion 201" classes. emoticon From personnel experience I know that a good Trainer or Doctor can simply feel the knee as you move it determine if an ACL is torn. Stay away from Dr. Blondie if you can!

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PRINCESSBEITER 7/13/2011 7:16PM

    Maybe you need to check your blood pressure yourself. My local GP keeps trying to put me on blood pressure medication. (He prescribes, I don't fill.) When I see any other doctor, my BP is just fine. When I check it at home, it's just fine. I'm starting to think his nurse doesn't know how to take BP with an old fashioned cuff. (I've tried it, it is not an easy thing to do. All my other doctors use digital cuffs.)

You can get a good BP monitor for around $20 or $30 at Walmart. It's a good investment.

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JONICACALDWELL 7/13/2011 5:15PM

    Yeah, your Dr needs a check-up. After losing 65 pounds, my cholesterol shot up- to above normal for a 23 year old (It went from 185 to 227 in a year). It went back to a normal range less than 2 years later. I don't know how long ago you lost the weight, but your body might need time to readjust. Just a thought. Sorry to hear about your news- keep up the weight loss and next time you see her, more pounds down, you can tell her to, er, well...off.

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Sunburn is payment for the Sassy 'tude

Monday, June 27, 2011

It is my own fault! I am cheap and therefore thought that that the sunscreen is "still good" and I busted out the spaghetti strapped tank to celebrate the healthy lifestyle lately... and burned the ever lovin sh** on my arms, shoulders, cleavage... while sitting in shade. UGHHH

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARTY728 6/27/2011 11:01PM

    It happens to all of us. I hope you feel better soon.

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FLAMENM 6/27/2011 8:49PM

    Sunscreen is your friend. 24-7.

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WINE4GIRL 6/27/2011 7:56PM

    Ooooh, that's not good.

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BUTEAFULL 6/27/2011 7:21PM

    join the club, I burnt my shoulders

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LINDABENEDICT 6/27/2011 6:36PM

    ouch ! sounds like something I would do !

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ZZYYGGY 6/27/2011 6:33PM

    Hope you feel better

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Uhhhhhhh

Monday, April 18, 2011

Just reading the Nutrition Girl Blog for daily motivation and information, and it was linked from Spark... And while reading a hover ad covered the entire page with an advertisement for Oreos.

File this one under: Things that make you go WTF. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WENDYWITKOSKI 4/18/2011 7:35PM

    So funny and so wrong at the same time.

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BUTEAFULL 4/18/2011 1:06PM

    emoticon

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DIANA3BANANA 4/18/2011 12:13PM

    How funny! emoticon

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LIGHTERWRITER 4/18/2011 12:10PM

    haha - got to love the twisted irony of the marketing around these sites, eh?

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