MLCLARKE22   2,500
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Wednesday, February 08, 2012

OK so the month of January was FANTASTIC! I lost 17lbs. However February isn't starting off too good. My work schedule has been crazy and I haven't been able to log into spark..and without spark I don't do as well! I need to track my food everyday! Work has been so crazy that I haven't been really following my plan(still not eating bad) and haven't been able to eat every 3 hours as scheduled. My birthday is in exactly 2 weeks and I want to hit the 20lb mark by then but I am afraid it may not happen if this keeps up! I am only making it to the gym on Sundays as it is my only day off and during the week I am getting home too late to go, and in the morning before work i have all 3 kids to get ready and off to school so I can't go then either. I am barely seeing my husband and my kids. It is taking a toll. I need to take time and make sure I can get on here and read some motivational stories and track my food everyday. And I want to thank all of my spark friends for keeping me motivated and supporting me on my journey..I couldn't do it without you!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KRITKRIT 2/11/2012 11:05AM

    You got it!!!! take a deep breath, relax and start today as a new day! Sister, I know its WAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY easier said than done!!! AND 17 lbs in ONE month!!! You pretty much ROCK!!!

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PAULOWAULOS 2/10/2012 9:07AM

    I hear you barking!!!! I have been through and continue to go through the same struggles with working crazy hours and not taking care of me. I have found that I NEED to carry my lunch box with me. I fill with with foods that I can eat during the day that are not going to tip the scale. I also carry water with me. I never know when I am going to be in my car for hours on end. This way I am not tempted to stop somewhere and eat poorly. I have also found that I need to take 20 minutes here and there to get in some exercise. I noticed on your page you do a lot of strength training - reps. Do your squats, crunches etc in your 20 minutes of down time. I will also work and eat lunch (I know cardinal sin) but then use my lunch break to go for a walk. I figure it is better than nothing right. To cold to go out (yes that would be me right now), run the stairs in the office building instead of going for the walk. I know with a little creativity you can do it!!!!!

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SHAPEITUP3 2/8/2012 2:27PM

    emoticon and emoticon on your weight loss for January! It is still early in February and a few lbs in a month is better than zero and better than gaining. Do you have a smart phone? I know I use mine on the go to input my food and any fitness. You can track water as well.

Missed you around here lately! Take a day and do something fun and relaxing for you!!!

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FLEDWARDS28 2/8/2012 10:36AM

    17 pounds in January, that so AWESOME!! emoticon emoticon

Marriage, Kids, Work. . . . .that's enough to make any of us insane but then when we throw really taking care of ourselves in the mix it seems almost impossible!! Just take it one day at a time and you will succeed. I haven't been able to workout lately for health reasons but I have discovered that what I put into my mouth is just as important as running or ST. If all you can do is concentrate on your food, then give that 200%. Focus on what you can control right now and don't make yourself crazy.


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its unofficial but im still excited!

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Ok so it's only day 3 of my "new" meal plan and guess what..the scale said that I was down almost 3 lbs!! Official weigh in isn't until next friday but as for this moment I am super excited!!

It has been a stressful week so Im sure i can factor that in as well. Can't wait for my day off tomorrow so I can spend time with my family!! It has been such a long and crazy week!

Also planning to get back to the gym this weekend as I only made it there twice this week..not such a big deal since I walked alot where I was working this week. Lots of cardio and I think I am going to start my strength training this week. My birthday is a little less than a month away and I want to lose at least 5-10 lbs by then(I know it's alot but with a little focus I know I can do it!)

Not much of a blog today but I was excited when i saw the scale this morning so I had to write it down!! Love these blogs especially because I can look back on them at the end of my journey and see what I was going through at the beginning of this journey!

Happy Saturday Everyone!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOLLYSARAN 2/22/2012 10:01AM

    emoticon Your doing great !!!!!

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BLAIRJ1 1/29/2012 9:16PM

    Wonderful news!! Be proud :)

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CAPTHAMMER 1/28/2012 10:34AM

    Maybe you think it's "not much of a blog" but it carries some great news.

Hope you're able to get to the gym as planned and you have a wonderful weekend!

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FITFABJENN 1/28/2012 10:09AM

    Congrats! Great news.

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FLEDWARDS28 1/28/2012 8:54AM

    Sounds like your body is responding to the changes you've made. emoticon

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Time to reevaluate the situation....

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Ok so here it is..I haven't eaten great this week(actually since last Saturday), although I haven't eaten all that bad either. But I have come to a major realization that the plan I was following is not going to work for me. I did great in the beginning, lost 17lbs just drinking protein shakes and having a clean dinner of veggies and lean protein. Then I hit week 3 and I didn't lose any weight(actually went up a little then evened out by the end of the week). This week(week 4) has been a very stressful week at work and although I started out good I did not stay on track with my shakes and decided on eating real foods(not all of them healthy due to the delish foods in the neighborhood where I am working this week). But you know what? I am actually down a pound this week...awesome right? So I am thinking that I am going to eat healthy balance meals and 2 planned healthy snacks and see what happens!I plan on continuing to journal every little thing that goes in my mouth because for me that is the most important thing, but I honestly think this is going to work! Wish me luck! I think I might need it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLEDWARDS28 1/26/2012 11:30AM

    Good luck, I know you can do it!! Great job on figuring out your old plan wasn't working and moving forward with something that will.


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SHAPEITUP3 1/26/2012 10:52AM

    That sounds like the right plan. Your body needs various nutrients and you need some taste in your life. Also, this has to be for the long haul... who can live off of protein shakes, veggies, and lean protein? NOT ME!

You got this... I can't wait to see how things progress for you! emoticon

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DMR023 1/26/2012 10:45AM

    Good luck!! I just started tracking all of my food and I think its helping to keep me accountable. As long as you stay within your calorie range - you can do it!! emoticon

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CAKEMAKERMOM 1/26/2012 10:08AM

    Sounds like a great plan! Enjoy planning out your meals.

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what was I thinking?

Monday, January 23, 2012

Ok so I'm not gonna lie..i had a good weekend...but I didn't do what i came here to do. I didn't track my food AT ALL!! Friday Night was date night and the Hubby took me to my fav sushi restaurant. I didn't actually do to bad(and I did track this meal). I started to track my intake Saturday morning but once I got home from work I fell off for the day...I snacked and didn't stick to the plan..but in all reality i didn't do all that bad. And then there was Sunday...I didn't track my food..had a healthy breakfast, went to the gym(but didn't have the best workout because I was exhausted..however I did manage to do an hour and 20 mins)came home and snacked, went out shopping, snacked again, and then made my healthy chili for dinner. All in All I didn't eat all that bad but my snacking was out of control..seriously what was I thinking??

But you know what? I am not going to let it ruin my progress...I am back to tracking and staying in my calorie range. Gym tonight after work and then a healthy clean dinner!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAPTHAMMER 1/25/2012 9:41AM

    Being aware is half the battle. As others have said, being off our routines during weekends tends to throw us off.

How you doing this week?

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PROJECTFIT4LIFE 1/24/2012 10:31PM

    each bite counts!!! if you have one bad meal or snack, just make the next one great! i use to struggle with this sooo badly....just finally (after 3 years!) have got that under control!! weekends are definitely hard, i feel like if i'm not working out then i'm eating, isn't that terrible?!! lol

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BLAIRJ1 1/23/2012 9:31PM

    You got this!

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KRITKRIT 1/23/2012 5:04PM

    high five!!!!!!!

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FLEDWARDS28 1/23/2012 2:32PM

    I snacked a lot on Saturday. My schedule was off and I just ate 3 of this and 3 of that all day. But I got back on the horse Sunday and I've been good since.

Sometimes I think we've just gotta cut ourselves some slack! Move forward and don't look back.


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BALTIC_GODDESS 1/23/2012 2:21PM

    Don't beat yourself up for "falling off the wagon" every once in a while! We all have "one of those days" every now and then - nobody is perfect! You're doing GREAT! Keep up the good work! emoticon

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HOLLIEWALLY 1/23/2012 2:13PM

    One day at a time... You are doing FANTASTIC! The weekends are always my hardest days for snacking, too.

Happy Monday! emoticon

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never really told my story so here it is..

Friday, January 20, 2012

I'm at the starting line of the rest of my life..I'm as ready as I've ever been..Got the hunger and the stars in my eyes the prize is mine to win.." lyrics from Ready, set, don't go

My story begins as a child..When I was little I was tiny and then I got to middle school and got a little chunky..I'm short(only 5'1") and weight looks differently on me. In high school I wasn't skinny but I wasn't fat, but I was definitely bigger than the other girls. I have always been athletic playing soccer 3 seasons a year and softball all of my life. When I went off to school I quit playing sports and got into bad eating habits and gained weight.

Freshman year of college I met a guy who at the time I thought was great..but over the next 6 years of my life he mentally and verbally abused me. Along with the copious amounts of pot we smoked I gained weight. Probably 2 years before we broke up I joined weight watchers with my mother because she needed support and I wanted to lose the 20lbs I had gained. Weight watchers was great. I lost close to 60lbs and was my skinniest ever! Too bad everyone told me I looked sick..I was obsessed with losing weight! The jerk of a boyfriend I had hated it too because now I was getting more attention and he always accused me of cheating. Turns out he was the one cheating!

We broke up and I met my husband very soon after(2 weeks!) AT the time we met I was at a healthy weight and very happy with my size. I was working out 2 times a day and loving it. Well we dated on and off for about a year and half and then we got pregnant. During my pregnancy I gained alot of weight due to my lack of exercise and preeclampsia. I was on bed rest for the latter of my pregnancy.

After the birth of our daughter in 2006 I got really sick and was eventually diagnosed with crohn's disease in 2007. In the beginning my crohn's was moderate. At this time I joined a gym and began working out for our wedding. I bought a dress that was too small and by the time our wedding came around in sept 2007 I had to have the dress taken in!

Shortly after our wedding I became pregnant with our son. I took it upon myself to take myself off of all of my crohn's meds and had an overall healthy pregnancy. I only gained 22 lbs and worked out until the day before my scheduled c-section in August of 2008.

Fast forward to fall 2009/early 2010..I decided I was going to train for a half marathon. I was doing great..and then I got 2 stress fractures in my leg and had to wear a walking boot right up until the race..but I was determined to race so I got my boot off the week before, ran a 5k and completed my first half in 2 hours and 35 mins(prior to my injury i was pacing to finish about 2 hrs and 10 mins). I was so proud of myself..I balled my eyes out when I saw my husband waiting for me at the finish line! needless to say I had to wear my boot for a few more weeks after that but it was well worth it!

However in the midst of all this my Crohn's was starting to get out of control! I sought out a new Dr. who put me on the all evil prednisone which blew me up like a tick! I felt like all my hard work was for nothing. I was on the meds until June of 2010 when the Dr ordered some additional testing. A couple of days after the testing my Dr called and told me I needed to see a surgeon as there was a stricture in my small intestine. I was originally told they could go in and open the stricture but when I met with the surgeon she told me that unfortunately that was not an option and that I would need a bowel resection. So she took me off of my steroids so I could prepare for surgery. I went in on 7/7/10. They removed approx 2 feet of my small intestine as well as a meckel's diverticulum(which affects like 10% of the population). I was in surgery almost 2 hours longer than expected and my parents and hubby were scared. I spent the next week in the hospital and then was finally sent home. I was home for a week and then unexpectedly got extremely sick and my husband rushed me to the closest hospital(not where i had my surgery!) after 10 hours at this particular hospital I was told that I had appendicitis which was impossible since it had come out 2 weeks prior during my resection..My mother immediately called my surgeon and had me transferred to another hospital where I spent the next 10 days violently ill. The Dr's preformed many tests and concluded that it was a complication from my surgery. I was finally sent home on a bucket load of meds(more prednisone! ugh!!)for my husband to care for me! I finally got to go back to work in August only to have my Dr call and tell me that I needed a ct scan to make sure I wasn't having another flare up in order to start a new medication...the day after the ct scan I received a call from my surgeon saying she needed to see me that afternoon..i was completely scared so I had my mother come with me. Apparently that "complication" from my surgery was actually another 18cm blind loop of intestine that needed to come out ASAP...Really??? Could it get any worse? So I went in the next day and had another surgery and spent another week in the hospital. In Sept 2010 they started me on Remicade to keep my crohn's in check.

By this point my husband didn't know what to do..we often fought about my health because he wasn't informed enough about crohn's but after doing some research and learning more he helps keep me on track. I really wanted another baby and the dr's pretty much that it was now or maybe never again so as soon as the dr's gave me the ok i got pregnant and gave birth to my baby girl this past August.

My weight is the highest that it has ever been. When I got pregnant I was still carrying alot of weight due to the high doses of prednisone I was on before and after my surgeries. i didn't gain too much weight during this pregnancy but could not work out due to a critically low potassium level most likely caused by my crohn's disease.

My crohn's is pretty well controlled for the most part, but is still considered to be severe. I get sick all of the time. I occasionally still have flare ups but I am def better at keeping them under control. It is extremely hard for me to eat healthy all the time because all the delicious healthy foods are actually the ones that make me the sickest. my husband has even questioned my eating habits lately knowing that I am not supposed to have alot of raw fruits and veggies or even oatmeal for that matter, but I need to do this for me.

This weight isn't who I am. I am more than ready to take a hold on my life and my disease and get healthy for me and for my family. I want to be around for a long time. I know I can do this and I am more than ready. It's go time!

This is it. I have officially come up to the end of week 3 and I have realized that I really am ready to do this. This weight isn't who I am. I am more than ready to take a hold on my life and my disease and get healthy for me and for my family. I want to be around for a long time. I know I can do this and I am more than ready. It's go time!

Thanks for listening and thank you all for your support! It means more than you all know!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PROJECTFIT4LIFE 1/24/2012 10:28PM

    you right this weight doesn't define you! it sounds like you know what to do...and you'll get to your goal eventually. its not a race, its a journey :) thanks for sharing your story!

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MRS.CARLY 1/22/2012 9:54PM

    Thanks for sharing your story!! You have had a lot of ups and downs and think it is high time for some ups!

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BLAIRJ1 1/22/2012 8:30PM

    Oh my goodness, what a rough road you've had, but you are CLEARLY a fighter. The great think about Spark people is, if you meet people like yourself that can empathize and give you that support, you will keep coming back, even if you stray for a bit. Make those connections early on. I'm happy to support you, it can be a very rewarding journey :)

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GETSTRONGRRR 1/21/2012 10:24PM

    Wow what an amazing story! Any one of those is a lot for any one of us to deal seem to have handled them amazingly well.

Keep listening to the docs, get as smart as you can, listen to your body, and PERSEVERE!!

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CDK210 1/20/2012 4:45PM

    wow! i have a friends who has crohn's and has had the surgery and was doing remicade treatments every 6 weeks, and i know through it all, she hid just how painful it was for her. it always blew my mind that the foods we would normally consider "healthy" were exactly the foods that caused her the most trouble. so sorry to hear that you are also dealing with all that crohn's brings. :(

hang in there. i'm sure you'll find what works best for you!

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FLEDWARDS28 1/20/2012 4:14PM

    WOW!! Your story is so intense. Sounds like you've had a really rough time and it will probably continue for awhile. It's very inspiring that after all you've been through you are still determine to lose weight and be healthy. I really hope you can find a balance between healthy fresh foods and the ones you are supposed to be eating. I truly believe you can do this b/c you sound so ready!!!

On a side note, I joined WW this week and have been very impressed with my results so far.

Oh and I like your hair blonde better for some reason. emoticon

emoticon emoticon

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LOOOKINGOOD 1/20/2012 2:16PM

    You are one tough cookie...thank you for sharing your story.

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MLCLARKE22 1/20/2012 2:06PM

    Thanks!!I have actually seen a nutritionist but it is still really hard..not a fan of canned fruits and veggies..they are fresh! and as for other foods they pretty much have me eat "white" breads/pasta..but I only do that if I am having a flare up and when I am really feeling bad I stick to protein shakes(the ones that don't bother my belly!)..super fun, right?

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CALIPIDGIOUS 1/20/2012 2:00PM

    Sounds like a rough go of it! Glad you are doing better. Would it help to see a nutritionist to discuss what would be the best way for you to eat healthy without eating the things that can exacerbate your Crohn's? I don't know enough about it to say but thought it might be a thought. That way your hubby won't have to feel like your food warden in his concern for your health.


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