Monday, October 13, 2014
So I was going along like gangbusters. I dropped the extra pounds I had put back on, I not only whittled down my to do list, I began keeping it at a minimum, my house was clean to the point it was easily kept in that condition on a daily basis, and I was right on schedule for my upcoming garage sale in Oct. And then I stopped. Really stopped. Everything sat including me. Not only did things pile up, I wasn't even keeping a to do list. If I did anything in the house it was the very minimum. My dirty clothes are piled up. I regained the recent lost pounds in very short order.
I found my way back to sp and checked in on some of my friends (several haven't posted in quite a while and I so hope things are going well). I wrote a few blogs and started walking again. And today I am ready to sort out all the paperwork that has piled up on the counter, clean the house, and throw in a load of wash. I am not yet quite sure what happened. It isn't the first time, but it is different in this time I had really succeeded in totally reaching the goals I had set. I have learned a few things though. Keeping my house spick and span every single day really doesn't matter that much to me. Yes, it is a nice environment but I missed other things (some still to be determined). There are things I didn't drop which I needed to remind myself - feeding the homeless, visiting with them, spending time with my elderly friends, teaching Bible study. These are things I love. I went to my dgd thirteenth birthday party determined to stay in the moment every second and I had a blast (so did she). I have some thinking to do - in between cleaning and wash. It is time to pick up and put things in order - both in my house and in me.
Saturday, October 04, 2014
Over two years ago I hit the weight I was trying to get to - actually went a little under. It had taken 6 months so I had focused quite a bit on losing that weight even though I had made a goal of not yoyoing (which has been my lifetime pattern). So now nine lbs up and several yoyo trips over the past two years, I have decided to really address my goal of maintaining my weight (by not going over 135 lbs). For the first time, I went to the links about maintaining at docs.google.com/document/d/1AkUBsUAC
and started reading. Right away I was encouraged by this statistic: When you've maintained for 2 years the likelihood of regain drops to 50%. Perhaps I haven't maintained by staying lower for the entire 2 years, but I have not regained all the weight I lost, and it is just in the last few months that I have regained and lost more than I am happy with. For me, maintaining has really been quite a process. First of all, my goal in the past has always been to lose the weight (30+ years before I realized it isn't losing, it is maintaining where I struggle most). Once I lost the weight, it has taken me quite a while to decided what weight I wanted to maintain (my weight goal was just to see if I could lose to that number and I actually ended up undereating for a while). I have finally settled on a number for my top weight. As long as I am under that number, I will be maintaining. Now that I am counting myself as having met two years, I plan to be in the successful percentage from this next statistic: When you've maintained for 5 years the likelihood of regain drops to 27%*!
Friday, October 03, 2014
Have now reached two years of maintenance - though I am not really sure it can truly be called maintenance when I have yoyoed (as much as 10 lbs) during it. My original goal was not to yoyo anymore - that was the plan once I reached a lower weight. However, there are perhaps more factors to not yoyoing then I planned for and things I might want to consider. Reading back thru my blogs to the day I reached my goal weight, I came across a comment from Brooklyn_Born I will now try to remember: " I think we have to accept that food will always be somewhat of an issue in maintenance, but it's a manageable issue." I think I was hoping the food issue will be no more - that I would reach a state where eating healthily would just be a habit and not so much work. Maintenance has definitely been work for me. Losing weight seems easier in comparison as I stay more focused and am very goal oriented, devoting time to doing what is necessary, reaping the rewards of seeing the scale go down. It seems as though it has been a lifetime of me losing and gaining - and I really thought I would stop the cycle. However, the second part of that comment is one I also need to remember - yes, food is somewhat of an issue during maintenance but it is a manageable issue. I really was hoping I would get to my goal weight and then check this off my list, and get on with the next thing. I have struggled with even considering the thought patterns that contribute to the yoyoing - it just feels easier in the long run to stay in the gain, lose cycle. The question is whether I am willing to make even more of a change - to go past losing the weight, to making a commitment to sticking with healthy eating. I wonder how many others notice that once you realize you need to make changes in one area of your life, it seems you quickly discover there are other areas that need addressing. Perhaps it is a stage during your fifties - a result of having more time for self reflection along with the realization that there is less time ahead. So that is where I am now...along with wondering where some of my past spfriends are at in their journeys.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Have been gone 5 weeks out of this summer and still not enough. Highs of 110+ are just too much. While atving as family, ds ended up in serious accident and had surgery - again, God takes care of us and he is doing well though out of work for a while. I am so grateful for God ever watching over and taking care of us. Got back to my maintenancei weight and now scale suddenly shows 5 lb gain in 5 days time. So know it can't actually be so, but not happy to see that on the scale. Just quickly checking in, trying to catch up on some blogs of my friends, and let you know I am still alive and kicking.
Monday, June 09, 2014
So on my mission decluttering, sorting thru clothes, etc. A while back a good friend told me she and her mother had considered recommending me for "What not to wear." Just recently, having acquired Netflix, I have been watching it. I really enjoy seeing the makeovers and how different people look simply by what they wear. So I have decided to get rid of all these extra clothes and different sizes (all those just in case clothes - in case I get back to that size, in case I get down to that size, in case I need that ugly top for ....). Trying on lots of clothes I discover that my friend was right - I have consistently worn clothes that are way too big for me. Not only are the tops like tents on me, the shoulders are way past mine. Most were given to me (a lot inherited which my friend has asked several times if I really think my husband wants to see his mother's clothes on me). So as my pile of give aways grow, I have begun to question why I kept or wore those clothes (influenced by the hoarding shows that I now watch). And I hear my mother's voice, always telling me and my sister that we were just big girls, big boned with big shoulders, farm girls. Neither one of us were weight heavy (that was my petite sister). But I always just thought I, along with my sister, were "big size" (having overheard some guys discuss me as "built like a brick ...house" which seemed really horrible didn't help...was in my thirties before I knew what that expression meant!). I remember after my sister became underweight, in her fifties, being so surprised by seeing how small she was - she didn't have "big shoulders," big-bone features though she is tall. I just always saw her the way my mom described her. Today, I saw that the clothes hung way past my shoulders, way bigger than my size. Beautiful clothes went in to discard pile - beautiful on someone else other than me.
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