I know that there are so many people like me who are on again off again. That's me on off ...on off...until today. The last several months have been a huge emotional roller coaster for me. I went for a regular mammogram and they found a small mass. They believe it is nothing but want to check again in 6 months. Then I was kicked twice this year dead on in the knee by two different students. Well as could be expected I got up one morning (mother's day to be exact) and couldn't walk. After an MRI they told me that I need a total knee replacement and am really to young to have one. I have done some cortisone shots to no avail. So for now the only thing that will help some is to get weight off to relieve the pressure. So I have started back to water aerobics and am exploring other activities like Kayaking.
With all that being said...as I was sitting here this morning I had this epiphany....I am accountable for everything I put in my mouth. I am accountable for exercising. I need to take care of myself and hold myself accountable for my health and well being instead of just letting it happen.
Well you say..no duh! But for me I think I just allowed my emotions to dictate, made excuses and didn't think about how I was disappointing myself. I wouldn't do that to my family, friends or co-workers so why do I think it's okay to do it to myself? It's not and I know it!
My game plan is to raise my consciousness and be deliberate about what I am doing....making sure I think before I put that food in my mouth, track what I am doing and get active.
Yesterday I rode in a 27 mile bike event for Talbot Special Riders in St Michael, Maryland. St. Michael's is along the Chesapeake Bay. What a great ride and great views. Even rode up a few hills ( they were bridges, but a hill is a hill to me). My husband is an avid rider and in great shape, so riding with me was a challenge because I am much slower. I am so grateful to him because he paced the ride just right and I was able to finish without complaining or getting off the bike between stops.
When I was finished I felt great! Not just because I got exercise but because I finally committed to something and finished! It was a wonderful feeling and I proved to myself that I can do it!
When I got home I tracked my fitness and excited to learn that the ride burned off 1400 calories! WooHoo! And better yet,...I got up this morning and I can still move
I am looking forward to my next event ride on April 27 in Reston, Va. Although I am a little concerned about the hills in the area...this time I believe in myself. What's even better is we are going to the wine festival at Reston Town Center immediately following the event. It should be a great day. In the meantime..I am going to strive for each day to be a great day!
Today was a real day, not like the weekend and sure enough about 1/2 way through....boom, I'm eating chocolate. Can't even tell you why which leads me to believe its just mindless eating.
Why can't I be true to myself, hold to a plan, a feel good about it. I'm not really sure why...there just seems to be this little voice that says "ah what the hell". I don't know why that voice doesn't seem to care, but I do know it is time to reprogram it!
So just positive thoughts for now and planning for the rest of the week. I need to make this journey important to me. Off to write the list.
I have been a member of Spark People for over a year and have been on again off again. Today... I am making a committment to myself to be "ON" in 2013. So today is day one for me. My points may say differently, they have been accumulated over time but not a true reflection of committment to myself .
Today is Sunday, a great day to start. Nothing really to get in my way and derail my efforts. Tomorrow and the rest of the week however, will prove to be a challenge. I have made some good changes that will help... started eating a salad and protein everyday for lunch at work, joined water aerobics and went to the Doctor to re-evaluate my depression.
I could say let's keep our fingers crossed as I have done in the past. But I have come to realize that that saying is an excuse to not be committed and a deafeatist attitude. So.. I have posted on my bathroom mirror "JUST DO IT" . It's really time for me to stop making excuses. It gets old and it is a crutch for not dealing with the things in my life that cause me to over eat and be inactive.
Although we knew that they eventually would get engaged..they finally did it. I couldn't be happier for my daughter Dana and her Fiancée Justin. Not only that...my daughter agreed to join Sparkpeople for herself and to help motivate me to do a better job with my own health. Who could be luckier than Me!