Friday, December 14, 2007
Where do I begin..... well, here it is in a nutshell. In September of this year I woke up with Bells Palsy. At first it wasn't so bad, but as time went on it became a bit of a burden on my spirit. A little while later, a very good friend of mine found uot she may have cancer again. That put things into perspective for me as min afliction would certainly go away and I had no reason to feel depressed about a temporary inconvenience. In December when my husbands Christmas party at work was rolling around - an all out formal affair where you needed to look glamerous was drawing closer, I started to panic and get depressed. How could I look glamerous with this face, so I decided I wouldn't go. After rethinking it, I also decided that it wasn't fair to my husband so I put on my best face and went. I had a great time and thought I was doing a good job of talking to people with my best smile on my face. I really was enjoying myself. That is until my husband decided to tell me I didn't do a good job, but sat in my chair like a bump on a log until people came to me. I guess I don't understand why he doesn't get how I feel about things but I am going to try to overlook it and take yet a new look at life. After 3 months, I realise that this may end up being here for the long term - it happens to a few people so I need to get back with the program and accept it for what it is. On Monday, I will go back to the office and my job and my life. I have been allowed to work from home for the last 3 months with occaisional visits to the office, but maybe it is time to show my face again. Some people may call it vain, but I find it a little difficult to walk around with half my face frozen! Up until this point, I haven't driven because I have to keep ointment in th eye that doesn't close so it blurs my vision and I don't feel comfortable driving. It is time to step outside my confort zone and put the patch on and drive. Plenty of people with one eye drive so there is no reason that I shouldn't. In the last 2 years, I have had neck, back, and menopausal problems along with a hip replacement. I feel like I am falling appart and there isn't much I can do about it. Attitude is the key and lets face it, I haven't always had the best attitude. If I have to hear that the palsy doesn't look that bad from one more person I will scream. anyway, life is difficult for me these days, but I know that it doesn't have to be. A new attitude will hopefully get me out of this slump.