HAVIN A BLUE DAY

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Sometimes it is hard to get motivated and believe that things will happen in time. I have been unemployed for 6 months and have no desire to job hunt. I want to work but it is difficult to get motivated to do what needs to be done. As an older woman, I know that it will be difficult to find something that pays even close to what I received before. It is a good thing that I can do with a lower salary. I would like to work closer to home or even from home is at all possible. I have loads of talent.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JTREMBATH 9/18/2009 3:53AM

I have been in my job now for 24 years maybe not in the same Hospital but still in the same Area and am still learning. Report Inappropriate Comment

Back at it again

Friday, July 03, 2009

I haven't been out to this site for quite a while. I am feeling a little blue these days. I lost my job at Sprint in March and have not spent any time looking for a new one yet. will get to that soon. I still have the Bells Palsy and am depressed that it is never going to go away. One would think that after almost 2 years.

  

Still There

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Well, this is week 21 with the Bells Palsy and I am feeling very down. The neurologist sent me for a consult with the ENT. He is ordering an EMG to figure out how much facial nerve and muscle damage has been done. He noted that this may be permanent which of course immediately sent me way down in the dumps. No matter how hard I try to get back up this week, I can't seem to do it. I can't imagine being stuck like this forever! I know, it is just a superficial thing, but none the less, I can't imagine it. 4 days ago, the right side of my face swelled and has not subsided. I guess the worst thing in eating and drinking - especially in front of anyone. It is just not a pretty site. Beverages dribble down my chin and I end up wearing most of it. j I use a straw, but since the swelling - I can't seem to close my mouth around it all the way. Eating is a site as well. I tend to bite my lip a lot if I don't move it out of the way when I go to eat. I can't chew with my mouth closed - since it doesn't close all the way. I know that attitude is everything and that it truly will go away some day but after 20 weeks it is very discouraging. I have prayed but I am not sure that God is listening these days. I am no longer sure what to do to get back to the optimistic self that I usually am. I guess I will take one day at a time and get on the treadmill more to burn of some frustration.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSPAM1 7/8/2008 11:31AM

Going on 10 months now. I have started going to the chiropracter to see if he can help. Most of the time I forget about it but it is still visibly there. No big deal anymore. One day at a time. Report Inappropriate Comment

MISSPAM1 5/12/2008 3:10PM

I am now in the 8th month of Bell's Palsy. It seems to have reached a standstill where it swells on some days and it ok on others. Once again the doctor told me that I would not recover in certain parts of my face but I have not lost hope yet. I have been massaging the facial areas affected with the massaging shower head every day now. I am trying to meditate a little to help with the stress of daily life. One day at a time and sometimes one minute at a time is all that I can do! Life could be much worse I know. I just take a look around and see people that can't walk or have had a stroke and their side affects are pretty much permenant. A lady at work's 3 year old grandson has a tumor in his brain and has to undergo chemotherapy. So sad for a 3 year old to have to endure! Life is good! And so is my attitude. My boss still lets me work at home as much as I need to. You can't ask for anything better than that. I feel a little fatigued these days, I think the thyroid is acting up again but it to can be treated. Thanks for listening. Report Inappropriate Comment

MISSPAM1 3/3/2008 4:04PM

Well, I think it is a little better today. It is still there for the most part, but my mouth is not as droopy as it was. I can smile and you can't redily tell that I have Bells Palsy without looking closely. That is encouraging to me that it might get better especially after I was just told that certain parts of my face will not recover. I am feeling somewhat encouraged thoday. Report Inappropriate Comment

MISSPAM1 2/13/2008 10:27AM

Feeling a little better today. Not sleeping well so I am tired but better. Have a plan for today to get on the treadmil and lift weights. I committed to 3 days a week 3 weeks ago and have only done it 1 week in a row. this is a new week and I know I can do it. Hybby said he would do it with me but that lasted 1 night. No expectation there, just had hoped he would really do it this time. I can do it myself and that is not a problem, just better to do it with someone. I am procrastinating on updating my ticker for weight. The prednisone and my lack of will power these days have made me put on 9pounds to date. Back up to 162! that is only 6 pounds from where I started. Ugh. I am off the meds now so I am eating better and less. It will come off but it will take time again. Lifetime commitment of healthy eating. Report Inappropriate Comment

WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE

Friday, December 14, 2007

Where do I begin..... well, here it is in a nutshell. In September of this year I woke up with Bells Palsy. At first it wasn't so bad, but as time went on it became a bit of a burden on my spirit. A little while later, a very good friend of mine found uot she may have cancer again. That put things into perspective for me as min afliction would certainly go away and I had no reason to feel depressed about a temporary inconvenience. In December when my husbands Christmas party at work was rolling around - an all out formal affair where you needed to look glamerous was drawing closer, I started to panic and get depressed. How could I look glamerous with this face, so I decided I wouldn't go. After rethinking it, I also decided that it wasn't fair to my husband so I put on my best face and went. I had a great time and thought I was doing a good job of talking to people with my best smile on my face. I really was enjoying myself. That is until my husband decided to tell me I didn't do a good job, but sat in my chair like a bump on a log until people came to me. I guess I don't understand why he doesn't get how I feel about things but I am going to try to overlook it and take yet a new look at life. After 3 months, I realise that this may end up being here for the long term - it happens to a few people so I need to get back with the program and accept it for what it is. On Monday, I will go back to the office and my job and my life. I have been allowed to work from home for the last 3 months with occaisional visits to the office, but maybe it is time to show my face again. Some people may call it vain, but I find it a little difficult to walk around with half my face frozen! Up until this point, I haven't driven because I have to keep ointment in th eye that doesn't close so it blurs my vision and I don't feel comfortable driving. It is time to step outside my confort zone and put the patch on and drive. Plenty of people with one eye drive so there is no reason that I shouldn't. In the last 2 years, I have had neck, back, and menopausal problems along with a hip replacement. I feel like I am falling appart and there isn't much I can do about it. Attitude is the key and lets face it, I haven't always had the best attitude. If I have to hear that the palsy doesn't look that bad from one more person I will scream. anyway, life is difficult for me these days, but I know that it doesn't have to be. A new attitude will hopefully get me out of this slump.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KARIERICKA 12/17/2007 10:06PM

You are very encouraging. It is very understandable to have depression considering your circumstances. You are very motivating and encouraging to put your story on the spark. I hope this little note will help motivate you to push a little harder tomorrow, to get what ever goal it is. Even if it is just going outside. Take it one day at a time, and if you don't succeed today, there's always tomorrow. And keep smiling too. :-) YOu have no reason not to. ~Kari Report Inappropriate Comment

Fresh Start

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Over the last 3 years I have been talking about losing weight and getting more exercise as well as eating right. I do seem to eat right for the most part but there are those time I slide back into what really tastes good. I do know that they don't make me feel good and that is the key for me to know when I have fallen and I need to get back up. The exercise and self esteem are the things that plague me at this point. I know that if I can start the habbit of exercise and get into a routine, I will keep it up, but the starting has not happended for me since my hip replacement 2 years ago. I have bee soul searching for the last week to try and figure out why I have turned to being a alazy procrastenator. I know that I can be a hard worker but chose not to at this time in my life.

Today I intend to make a plan to start out slow and move forward to get to where I need to be. I have eating right so far today. I need to exercise so this is todays list:


1. 1 minute of pushups
2. 1 minute of crunches
3. 1 minute of lunges
4. 1 minute of abducts
5. 1 minute of dumbbell curls
6. 15 minutes on the treadmill.

Tomorrow I will have to come up with something else. I have to do this for my health. Mom died at 63 and I don't want to be in the same boat. I am about 10 pounds overweight and about 20 pounds from my ideal weight - where I feel the most comfortable and healthy. It is to an unatainable goal and I know I can do it. One day at a time and one meal and exercise at a time.