Tuesday, April 24, 2012
I just learned my running coach passed away on Sunday. I didn't know him long and I surely didn't know him well, but this quiet, soft-spoken man changed my attitude, my vision, and my life. He is my hero and I am so sad he is gone. Countless others feel the same way, and none can say it any better than Indianapolis Star report Barb Berggoetz in her blog at blogs.indystar.com/fitforlife/2012/0
Sunday, April 22, 2012
A while ago, I was reading a book about codependency (turns out I have been codependent for years, but since it was never related to alcohol or drugs I never had any idea). The author, a licensed psychologist, was telling of a case study from his practice. He mentioned that the client came to the office one day and said, "I need a new no. Mine doesn't work." That describes me to a T! No makes me feel so terribly guilty and selfish.
Today, I received a Facebook friend request from someone I was friends with over 20 years ago. He and I even went on one double date, but nothing ever happened from there. Later, things went very far south. We never patched things up, although once or twice we saw each other at an event and we were not unpleasant to each other. I harbor no ill feelings toward this man and have forgiven him for the hurt he caused. However, I have no desire to have any kind of relationship with him, even on Facebook. I thought about it and wondered, "What harm would it cause to accept his request?"
Then I decided today is a day for me to practice my no. What good will it do to be his FB friend? There may be no harm done, but neither would there be any good done. One has to draw a line somewhere and because I need to practice my no, this is my line in the sand. On my way to work today, I practiced saying no over and over again, as many different ways as I could. I even practiced telling myself no ("No, I don't need that ice cream today").
I have also decided not to tell my husband about this. Not because I am worried in any way, but because I know he would back me up on my know. I think he would not like me being friends with this guy, and would tell me just not to accept the request if I don't want to. He would give me more strength to say my no. But the problem is that I have a hard time telling my husband no too. I need to learn to use my no all by myself, without his muscle behind me. If I am tempted to cave, I will ask my husband for his help, but today I am practicing my no alone. I can do this!
Monday, April 16, 2012
I need help! I am still on-target for my 1000-miles-in-one-year goal. This goal has become so big in my mind that quitting is almost incomprehensible. Yet with all my walking, and even stair climbing, my body shape just won't change. I don't lose weight, my hips don't shrink, and my waist remains the same. Why? Oh, I know why.
It's my eating. I make a commitment to a nutrition goal (sweets-free, tracking, water intake, healthy breakfast, freggie intake... you name it, I've committed to it) and break it within two or three days. I've reasoned with myself: being lighter will make my walking (someday running) easier, I'll feel better, I'll sleep better, I'll look better. I've even got very reasonable weight-loss goals and benchmarks like my 10-year-wedding anniversary to give me motivation, but they have nothing on the siren song of ice cream or a good meal. I need nutrition motivation! Any thoughts?
If I had half the motivation momemtum for eating right that I do for walking, I'd be unstoppable!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
My health charts speak for themselves, but I'll add a little commentary anyway. That's just the way I am.
I've never had a problem with my cholesterol level, but it is still exciting to see the steady decrease over time. All this exercise and eating right is paying off somewhere!
I thought I would see more of a drop in my blood pressure, but you can see here that it has stayed relatively the same all along. Still, this is good because I've always had good numbers in spite of my increased risk due to Mom's high blood pressure and Dad's heart disease. I'm sure my level of activity has helped keep my pressure from creeping up too high. I have what they call a "quiet" pressure, so it's hard for the machines to read my numbers. Who knows, but my bp may have been a little elevated from the frustration of having sat through four or five tries to get the machine to read it.
This is the most disappointing chart. I would think my exercise would have reduced my pulse over time, but here it seems to have steadily increased. Boo! This was taken almost two weeks ago, so it's hard to say if maybe I may have walked. If so, maybe my pulse was elevated because of that. Still, it's not a bad number, so I'm not too upset. It's just a number I want to watch over time.
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