Saturday, January 16, 2010
This week has been rough overall. I need to learn to stop holding things in. I feel so much better when "things" are out in the open. Sadly it takes a blow up to get them out.
This week it was the hubby and his back that put me over the edge. He went to work everyday but then would come home and complain how it hurt and can you do this or that cause I can't move from the couch. Which I did without hesitation all the while letting the frustration/anger build inside till I exploded. We got into a good argument which helped to clear the air. I was more upset with the fact that if his back was that bad, why be at work. He hurt it at work originally so we can re-open the workman's comp case to ensure he gets his pay. He has to learn that he needs to take time for him when he's hurting and not just try to push through it. That and he needs to exercise and strengthen those muscles to stave off being on disability in the next 8 years.
My courses are getting hard. Right now I have to learn medical terminology and then learn in detail muscles, cells, nerves, ect. - all the details of the human body. I know I can learn it, I've just been feeling over my head lately and second guessing myself and my decision to do this.
Earlier this week a friend of my oldest's, her brother killed his x-girfriend and himself. Today is the funeral. It's been hard to watch my son deal with this. Since coming home he's been floundering about his life and what to do. I do know this has been a wake up call for him. He said had seen this boy sinking into that typical breakup hurt/down but thought it was just the normal, not the deep depression it actually was that he had hid from his family and friends. Our son has admitted that he has been feeling depressed with having to come home and live off of us when he is suppose to be on his own and doing well. He's come to realize after speaking to other friends, it just doesn't happen like that. Many are in the same boat he is, back home and struggling with it. We've decided to give him this time to deal with his emotions of what has happened before we start to push for him to make some decisions about his current path in life.
On a happier note, I did have a weight loss this week! I'm down 2 lbs and it feels so great to see that scale move. I have renewed motivation and am back to putting 100% into my exercise program and especially into my food choices that were getting a little sloppy.
Time to drop him off for the funeral. Later.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
My muscles are almost back to feeling good. I have been sore for the last two days since the strength training. Probably due to the fact that the muscles that were sore are used daily too so it took a bit longer for them to recover. But I feel SOOOOOO good!!
Tuesday I tried to do the treadmill during the BL but I only got 10 minutes in and had to stop as it hurt way to much and I didn't want to risk a real injury. I couldn't even stretch after the muscles were that tight. I can't imagine how the BL contestants feel after one of those workouts. I know they have massage and all that but still the pain would be excruciating.
Yesterday I did 55 minutes on the treadmill. Felt great when I was done, sweating, sore, muscles were tender still but I knew they weren't bad enough to stop me from exercise. I was able to stretch before and after I worked out. My arm band for my Iphone worked great. Just need to figure out the headphones part as the cord doesn't have a spot for the extra. That and I need new headphones. I lent mine to DD and she blew them. I had wanted to go to the gym and do some strength training (glutton for punishment or what?! LOL), but I had a job interview which went well. It's a temporary position for 5 weeks. Which is just fine by me. The extra cash would be nice. So we'll see if I get it.
Tuesday was my weight in day for the BL team, but I was retaining alot of fluid. According to the scale I gained 3 lbs and my scale tells you water and body fat and stuff, and it said I was retaining ALOT of fluid - probably due to those screaming muscles. So I waited to do it yesterday morning when I got up. Drumm rolllll..................... I was down to 239.6!!! YES! The scale finally moved!!!! Hopefully it stays down. I'll do my regular weigh in tomorrow and see how I'm doing.
I've noticed I can't rest my hands on my hips comfortably anymore. At one point my entire hand could rest on the fat on my hips. Yesterday I went to do it and my hands wanted to slide down instead.
Today is mostly for the hubby day. He has to get his hair cut, get his health card renewed and hydro is coming to change out our meter. We have dreaded this meter change as it's to a "smart" meter. Ya, smart for hydro, not for our checkbook. This will cost us more every month seeing as I'm home doing laundry and such during "peak" hours. And they wonder why people want to go solar/wind...
I was hoping to get to the Zumba class this afternoon, but the timing doesn't look like it will work out. I'm taking my gym bag with me just incase. Hubby said he will ride along with one of the other guys from work if need be while I go. Just have to get back from the city in time. Either way I will exercise at home today.
So tomorrow is weigh in day! I'm excited, nervous, scared to see what the scale will say. Till tomorrow!
Monday, January 11, 2010
I pay for this???!!! I really pay for this????? What the heck am I doing paying for this???? That is all that was going through my head during my strength training workout today with the trainer. She pushed me, I pushed through it. I'll admit I laughed/whined that I doubted I could do what was being asked, but I did it. And Wednesday I will go in and do it all over again, this time on my own. Did I just say that??? I'm going to willingly go back and put myself through the pain on my own. As she said while laughing, pain is my friend and I better get use to her cause she's going to be around for awhile. I also managed so far today to do 20 minutes of Turbo Jam this morning and then another 20 minutes on the treadmill at the gym to "warm up". Her warm up is more like a workout on it's own! I was sweating like crazy when I got off the treadmill. All said and done, it was worth it after wards! I may be sore, found muscles I didn't know existed, but I feel great on the inside. I feel refreshed and after the last few days I am positive and ready to take on the challenge - at least for today. I still want to do 20-30 minutes on the BL game, if I can get my legs to co-operate.
Course my trainer's biggest issue was I'm not eating enough. I had a plan but if fell through as I had to go to a funeral this morning. My sister's MIL passed away from cancer on Friday. So I ate a good breakfast (yaahh!), and avoided the food after the service. So my trainer gave me a reprieve for today.
I am struggling with breakfast still. I've started eating a toasted western in the mornings (toast, egg, onion, bell pepper, mushroom, cheese). I chop up the veggies and have them in a container so that I don't always have to do that part of it which makes it quicker. I think that is what the real problem is, I don't want to take the time to make the food. But I've got to try and change that mind set.
Time to start dinner, trying the Ginger Beef recipe that SP mailed out this morning!
My Iphone armband is finally in! It feels comfortable. Course it came in after I got home from the gym. Will give it a good try on Wednesday.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
I have been so frustrated lately. Not only with the hubby being this pain driven pain in my butt, but with myself. My first month in, 10 lbs melted away though I couldn't see where except maybe my butt which at my size, I can't afford to lose right now..lol. When oldest son came home, I stopped pretty much all exercise, there were sporadic 30 minutes of treadmill work (C25K) here and there but that was about it. Over the holidays I was able to pretty much maintain the weight even with not controlling what pasted my lips as much as I should have. And I even lost some inches during this time. Since the kids went back to school I've gotten my exercise almost back on track. I have been on track since Thursday for sure, I'd say Monday after being with the trainer or Tuesday after the 2 hrs on the treadmill during the BL, but I was so sore on Wednesday I could barely move so I had to take the day off. I've Turbo Jammed every day, I've done the stretches after that my trainer has given me. I've moved more this last week than I did over the holidays that's for sure.
Friday evening everything started to crumble around me mentally. I was already stressed from life issues. I had gone over in my foods, not a lot but it was over for the last part of the week. I just seemed to be hungry and gave into eating. Thankfully there is nothing "bad" in this house so the choices were good, but I ate ALOT. I knew that over all I had not put in the work I needed to, to see that scale move down. I was moody and just wanted to be left alone, course hubby thought he needed to "fix" whatever was bothering me. He doesn't understand he can't fix this, only I can. And when he tries he ticks me off even more. I knew I had let myself down this week and I let it eat at me. Surprisingly, the scale did go down. Not alot... 241.8 to 241.2. I'll take it. But my measurements didn't really change. I lost 1/4" off my waist and hips but my thigh and upper arm measurements went up. Hubby said it was probably cause I used a different tape measure than my usual one (which has disappeared). The kids said they will help tear this house apart today to find it and I will re-measure. Though I don't expect to see a difference.
So, I headed to the bath for a long soak last night and do some reflecting on the week and how I was feeling. I played my workout music while I soaked. I started to think about that first month and how I was able to do so well. Yes, I know it's the first month in and most people have a great start. But I was looking at more of what was different between then and now?? What did I eat then compared to now?? My calorie range hasn't changed, so what was different in the food area?? I already knew what was lacking in the exercise area.
Here's what I came up with:
* I'm not eating salads anymore, I need to get back into eating salads
* My sodium content is too high, I need to make a conscious effort to keep it low
* I need to make sure I eat breakfast and lunch, I snack to much during the day otherwise
*Water, well I'm up from zero water a day to 5. Need to keep trying to get that up
*I haven't always weighed my food, I need to do that all the time
**** I bought a new food scale. The scale I have been using is a digital scale, extremely accurate (it's for measuring freon, the stuff in air conditioners) but it's a little big for the counter so it is a pain to drag out all the time. So now I will have a small unit on the counter so I can use it all the time. Not bad price either, it was on sale at Canadian Tire for $9.99, reg. $29.99.
On the advise of my trainer I also went out and bought a heart rate monitor watch. It does calorie check and has a stop watch to it. And I'm showing my "girlie" side which I rarely do...it's PINK!
It came with a band that is pink and black which I like better. But I keep switching it back and forth.
Today it is suppose to be -2C , which works out to about 28F. That's warm for us this time of year! The sun is suppose to be out so I plan on taking advantage of this nice weather with a walk later today. Though looking at our outside thermometer it's already -2 at 8:30am so we could get warmer today.
Off to get breakfast. Enjoy the day!
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