Saturday, November 19, 2011
I've been up and down with staying on this path to a healthy me. It's been hard to give up alot of the bad foods and snacks. I can say now: I was a cola addict. And with the cola came the chips and cravings. With the pop gone from our house, my cravings are really low - once in the past month. The money I was spending on the junk I'm now spending on some of my favourite juices and healthy snacks. The kids don't seem to be minding either. They still get some junk for their lunches but even those are lasting as they take healthier choices for their lunches.
It's been just over a month still I put my mind to getting back on track. I've changed alot of how I do this. I have and I will continue to fight the all or nothing mentality I have. I don't always log my foods, mostly due to laziness of inputting the recipe. This I do need to change but for the most part I know from the ingredients if I will be over, under or just right for my calories. I've had a few days of do nothing and eating okay but I also felt it. I felt sluggish, tired and I know I was b%^&*y.
I'm starting this part of the journey with the small change of focusing on loosing 10lbs at a time, 10 lbs a month. I'm 3 lbs away from my November goal of 230, I started at 238 so I am proud of my work so far. With the bigger goal being hitting "Onderland" for my birthday - Feb. 26.
I'm going to work on eating breakfast which I have not done since before I was a teenager and getting in healthy snacks (apples and peanut butter isn't as bad as I thought it would be!).
Exercise wise, I'm in week two of the C25K program. I'm doing strength training 3 times a week. Everyday, even on top of the C25K I'm working on getting in more cardio with either Turbo Jam, kettlebells or just walking - whatever keeps me moving!
With taking smaller steps towards my goals I know I CAN do this. I'm proving it to myself with the changes I'm seeing and feeling.
Friday, November 11, 2011
The last couple of days have been stressful, frustrating, you name it that's been it. I've been dealing with it by using the treadmill till I'm to exhausted to reach for anything in the fridge/cupboard, but yesterday one phone call sent everything over the edge. I've never felt like that/this ever - lost, on the edge, dis-pare, I'm not sure how to describe it.
Last night, I ate my way up to over 2100 calories. Looking at in in "writing" I'm disgusted with myself for dealing with it that way. I need to have better strategies to stop that fridge from being opened if I ever reach that point again. I am hoping that will be a one of thing cause I really didn't like feeling and giving in like that.
Friday, August 12, 2011
We still have no answers on what's wrong with my husband. Somewhere along the line his testing got messed up. He had an ultrasound done - everything was good except he has a fatty liver. I question that as 2 yrs ago he had a full physical including an ultrasound and he was fine then. For what ever reason he was not sent for a CT scan which would show everything that is going on. Instead he's got another test scheduled for the end of September and really that's only a consultation, who knows when he'll get the actual test. I'm starting to get beyond frustrated at this point. He's still in pain but says he's fed up with the doctors and will just live with it till the next appointment. For my own sanity I've decided I have to take the path of just moving forward. No matter the outcome I will have kids to raise, a business to run and a house to keep going.
I start my new job tomorrow! I found a position at a long-term care facility as a Dietary Aide. I am so nervous/scared. I've never done anything like this, I've never worked in a commercial kitchen. It's only part-time at minimum wage but it's a start. I start taking my certification course in September so the job will pay for the courses so nothing comes out of the family budget for it. It's even done by online correspondence so it won't interfere with shifts. I need this. I need to be working, for my own sanity and honestly it's part of my worst case scenario plan. The soap does well, but I need to have a steady pay too. And if worst case isn't needed, this money can go towards opening up my workshop teaching/retail space. Ultimately that is what I want is to teach people to make some of the stuff I do.
I've had some ups and downs with my weight and eating since all this stuff with the hubby started. But I'm getting back on track. I've re-started C25K and I'm trying to get in a daily walk even if it's just 10-15 minutes. This will be easier to do while at work. Right outside the building is a nice bike/walking path that goes down to a park and beach area. Since I will have a 1/2 hour break this is how I'm going to try and use that time. And I think it's a good way to get a break from the stress I know I will feel from this job for the first while.
I know that everything happens for a reason, just wish some of them weren't so long and drawn out. But I just need to be patient and stay focused on moving forward. I can't allow my emotions or his emotions drag me off the path to health and loosing this weight.
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