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Tuesday, March 10, 2009



Okay so Sunday I read in our church bulletin that they have a group that works out every morning at the church and on top of that *It's totally free*. So I was totally happy right? The bulletin mentioned that they were following the P90X plan and I thought 'Ooh I've heard of that, s'posed to be good right?' and I was still happy. I decided to go to the early morning session so I could go before my little girl wakes up and I can leave her with daddy guilt free *hehehe*. So at 5 am this morning I head off to church and I'm a little nervous but very excited.

I really did not know what was coming... Now I have since been informed that there are several different work outs and that they all vary in difficulty, but do you know that today they were doing THE hardest one possible? The 'Jump Training' video (not the technical name probably but if you've done it you won't soon forget the one I'm talking about). They warned me before beginning the video that some first timers have even thrown up after doing this work out... -_- very encouraging

Well on the upside I didn't throw up, but I also didn't do probably half of the actual exercises from the tape, but I just tried to keep moving and enjoy the company regardless. I don't know if I'm the only one with this problem, but with all this excess weight jumping a lot can get painful real quick. I don't have the strongest ankles either, so I tried to modify as many of the exercises as I could.

Anyway they're doing different videos every other day of the week so I will just keep in mind that this one is still a bit advanced for me. I hope to go back as much as possible, maybe even every day. Having people to work out with is such a huge thing for me and I don't want to take this for granted. It would be great to go every day, I just wish I could work out a carpool with someone or something, lol.

Well that's all for now, just wanted to share about my exciting and tiring morning.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZIRCADIA 3/10/2009 4:32PM

    P90X is supposed to be WAY HARD. I want to try it someday to get really muscley. :) HAHAHAHA. But I'm sure you were doing the plyometric based video and yes, that stuff is super challenging. You are a rockstar for going and attempting as much as you could! :D Stick with it and I'm sure you'll be capable of more soon. But yeah, don't be discouraged, it's definitely SUPPOSED to be a difficult program from what I hear. People that are in shape on SP try it and get their butts kicked. :) hehehe.

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SUEB38 3/10/2009 4:19PM

    First, love the enclosed photo. Second, great job for you to keep at it, even though you could only do part of the session - and further, to keep going to other workouts! Hope this works for you - enjoy! You can do it!

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LASHERTHECAT 3/10/2009 4:03PM

    That's so great!!! I wish we did that at my church...since it's just up the road... Good for you for getting up early and going!!

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No Regularity, But...

Friday, March 06, 2009



So I miss blogging regularly. I know my inconsistency can be of legendary proportions, but I really like having a place to work out my thoughts from time to time. Whether it is weight loss related or not, I seem to like babbling here, lol.

My husband and I had a really helpful talk yesterday. I was thinking about how my mind works and basically trying to figure out what it is that causes me to do certain things but not do other things, what causes me to flip that switch? I think all our brains are wired certain ways and we have to learn to work with that wiring instead of trying desperately to use methods that have worked for others. When we don't take in to account our own personal make-up I think we set ourselves up for failure. It's like trying to turn on a light bulb with a switch that has no connection running to it, it just won't work.

Well abstract theories aside, I think its just a matter of learning more about yourself and just finding a way that works for you. I read somewhere that, on average, people who are trying to quit smoking attempt to quit seven times before they finally quit for good. I think that's probably because the first six times they were trying the wrong method or it just wasn't the right timing. What if a person decided to stop trying the sixth time? Little would they know that they next time they try they would find success. The paper I was reading about this said, "Never quit quitting".

What that tells me is that no attempt is truly a failure, everything is a step along the journey. If you knew that you would fail six times but succeed the seventh time, how quickly would you try to find six ways to fail so you could make it to the seventh method? If there was such a guarantee you wouldn't be afraid to fail because there would be a promise of success in time. What we don't see is that if we keep trying and stay positive we will find a way, it might take more than seven times, but if you know there will be success then you can be encouraged to keep going.

For me personally I am constantly trying new things, looking for new methods to make the changes I want to make. I know for sure that I have found many methods that don't work, but there is a path to success, if I keep looking I will find it eventually. I don't consider what I've been through already as a failure because for one thing there is always a chance that my blogging about all my experiences might have helped someone else along their path. Maybe one of the methods that I've tried, though a failure for me, might have lead someone else to success. I can't know if that happened or not, but the possibility is there.

My current thinking is that I need to search my own mind and try to understand what causes me to fail or succeed at anything. I think my problem is that I get distracted very easily. I can get extremely excited about a project for a while, even for several months, but then something else catches my attention and I put all my effort into the new thing. This can be seen as a flaw, but that's how I am and I really don't think that is something I can change. What I can do is learn how to work with that or how to sort of circumvent it. Since I know more about the problem I can come up with more educated methods that will help me personally to find success. Right now I'm going to try what I call 'Bombardment' which means that I am going to put motivation every where that I can. Not just a motivational poster on the fridge, but one on the fridge, a motivational saying on my bathroom mirror, a reminder on my computer screen, another poster next to my bed, and I want to try to change these regularly to keep my interest. If the same picture or saying is there day in and say out I tend to tune it out after a while and it loses its effectiveness. I also want to have a list of different exercises to try so I always have something new, instead of forcing myself to do certain ones all the time and get bored.

If any of these ideas don't work, I'm not going to get upset anymore. I just know that this is one more method that doesn't work and I just have to try hard to think of another way. In this way I have to find success, its just a matter of time. Especially if I'm trying to work with my own strengths and weaknesses, knowing yourself can only help you to find that path to success. Well that's where I'm at and that's all I've got. I'll try to remember to get back on here to let you know how things go, lol.

*edit* WOW O.O I just realized how long this post it... Gomen. So sorry emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LASHERTHECAT 3/6/2009 4:33PM

    YOu will find the right method...just don't quit trying... I think I finally found my method... and I don't care that people think I'm nuts for tracking my food and exercise, counting calories etc... Counting works for me!! It always has...

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ZIRCADIA 3/6/2009 1:55PM

    I think what it all boils down to is that the only way to fail is to stop trying. If it helps you find motivation to continue trying to find a "method" that works for you --then do it. Other people may find that a method is fine but because they had a small failure (let's say they binged on chips on Saturday or something) that THEY are a failure and will never lose weight so why try. NO. It's not the method that's wrong, it's the attitude and the effort that isn't there. Certainly we should try to examine the mis-steps we make on our way in order to avoid making more mis-steps in the future, but as long as we are continuing to strive in the same direction, we will ultimately reach our goal. The method that works is to NEVER GIVE UP!!! :) *HUGS*

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Twice in One Month?

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


Yes for some reason I'm here again in the same month! I know this is still no sort of frequency to accomplish anything here, but its better than being completely nonexistent.

I am trying to understand myself better, trying to figure out why I stop and start so much, why I can't seem to complete things. I know there has to be a way to change and a way to motivate myself to accomplish the goals that I have. I know a big problem that I have is always looking at the entire goal, whatever it may be, and thinking how overwhelming it is. When I look at almost anything that way I scare myself and become reluctant to even get started. I even do this with minor things sometimes, like a sink full of dishes. I have found one method that works sometimes is I tell myself just to get started. With the full sink for example, I tell myself "just wash one dish" and I find that once I get started I get into the groove and get it done. I think this approach would work for doing a daily workout, but have yet to test the theory.

Unfortunately I'm back to my habits with drinking Dr. Pepper, but I'm trying to cut back on my intake. I know that having cans in the house all the time is a bad idea, but I have been trying not to just drink it whenever I feel like it. When it comes to DP I describe myself as a 'chain smoker' and that really is the perfect way to describe it. Anyone who knows a smoker or who has smoked should understand what a chain smoker is, they just light up one after another, and that's pretty much how I usually drink Dr. Pepper. I know how unhealthy this is, not to mention it takes its toll on our budget as well, and I'm trying to scale it down. It feels like it is as hard as quitting smoking, not that I know exactly what that's like, but I at least know a fraction of what that must feel like.

My husband has shown some interest in wanting to work out together lately. I don't know how serious he is about it, but I really would love that. Having a workout partner would go a long way in motivating me to get it done. Only time will tell whether or not we can make this work, but I really think that we could help push each other.

Oh I wanted to mention that I've been making Onigiri on a regular basis lately. I've even learned how to put in a filling and they're really tasty! I love to use Orange Roughy, I don't know if they have that kind of fish in Japan so it very well might not be a traditional filling, but it tastes really good. I mix the cooked fish with some soy sauce, a little mayo, and I added a little parsley which I think goes okay with that kind of fish, and then I add a little of the mixture in th center of each rice ball. I've gotten pretty good at making the triangle shape, which seems to me to be the best for eating. That shape give a good filling to rice ratio, whereas the round or capsule shape always seems like too much rice and harder to eat as well. Just my opinion, but it works out because the triangles are the easiest for me to make. I still haven't made a proper Bento, but I still need to learn more about what goes in them and how to make some of those things.

Well as uneventful as this post was I think that's all I've got. Will I go for three this month perhaps? Who knows.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LYNNETH7 2/20/2009 11:07PM

    Hey you!
Onigiri is great. I've had my own addiction lately WHICH I will be blogging about becauase, believe it or not, I am still on Spark (sporadically) also. About the Dr. Pepper... I understand how hard it is to give up something you -really- like. You know what I do? try to set it as a reward for working out. Yea, that's not the BEST system in the world, but all of that physical exercise helps your cardiovascular health, and helps your body be better able to digest the sugar rush from the soda (as well as burning calories and building muscle, duh). I do this when I'm in the mood for really rich take out (like Mexican or Chinese or Indian...), I will MAKE myself work out beforehand so I can enjoy it guilt-free. I also find that I eat less this way, because I'm feeling good about myself and more in tune with my body's sense of hunger and thirst... and I feel stronger, and the rush of endorphins really just makes me want to treat myself well rather than seeking that feeling from the food I'm eating.

Wow, ok, really f*king long comment. Sorry. How have you been in 2009? I's been a while, and I miss you ! Please write more, I'll read it :)

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ZIRCADIA 2/17/2009 3:08PM

    MMMMMMMM ONIGIRI!!!! Yaki-onigiri should be your next exploit -- even more delicious and fun to eat. I brought my Mr. Bento lunchbox to work today because we're out of sandwich size ziploc bags... it's not super cute, but I'm still kindof excited to be using it. :)

The, only one dish, only five minutes rule WORKS. Unfortunately it CAN work for the Dr. Peppers apparently, too, or other things you're trying to avoid. :) So try to remember that before then. Maybe someday you can build more discipline to really have only one Dr. Pepper when you can fit it in as a treat in calories. And hopefully by then you will be able to say, YEAH! Let's work out!!! :D

But for now -- test the theory. Don't let yourself get started with the bad stuff and try just a little of the good stuff and see if you can snowball the good stuff.

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Blip...

Saturday, February 07, 2009


Okay so I fell off the face of the planet there didn't I? Well I'm not really sure what to say because it would all sound like excuses anyway and on top of that I don't want to make false promises about coming back with any regularity. All I know is that at this moment I miss this community for so many reasons, many more than simply weight loss. Unfortunately I have been an awful friend to the people that I've met here by not coming around.

I know life gets busy and you all probably know that, but I just want to apologize anyway. Its hard when you know that you're falling away from your goals and you don't want to let people know about it. I guess that's what really happened. I kind of gave up and I didn't want to admit that to myself let alone all you fine people here. So the easiest answer is avoidance, its the wrong answer, but its easy. Omission can be a terrible form of lying sometimes.

I guess I'm back because I am starting to care about myself and my life again. Its hard when you get into a slump where you just don't know if you're worth the effort, apathy is a deadly poison, and it causes you to lose sight of things that are important. I never really understood exactly how important it is to love yourself, I have a better idea now, but I don't think I will fully understand it until self love is fully realized in me. You can't truly love others until you love yourself, because in disliking yourself you will always look for faults in others to help you feel better. I know this is what I do, I'm not a psychologist so sorry for generalizing but I know that a lot of people do this (I think it's called projection). When you fully accept yourself, flaws and all, you can learn to see others that way too.

I wish it was easy to learn something it as soon as you you are aware of it, but it's not of course. For now I'm just going to try to focus on what I'm passionate about and try to be content with what God has given me because he create me to be me and no one else. We have no talent at trying to be someone that we are not so its better to learn to be the best at the person we are. I want to be the best version of myself because no one else can be me but me.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZIRCADIA 2/11/2009 9:40PM

    YOU ARE WORTH THE EFFORT. *HUGS* I'm glad to hear from you. I've been kinda MIA because of stupid life issues, see my page and blogs for more details but basically my dog's been missing for over a month and I'm having a very hard time dealing. But I'm staying true to the Spark! This is the first time I've really felt like getting back to people's blogs. later!

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LASHERTHECAT 2/7/2009 8:10AM

    I'm so glad you're back!! I was wondering what had happened to you!!

On your suggestion I bought the Circle Trilogy... I haven't had a chance to open the book yet... but it's on my list of reading to do this year.

Kat emoticon

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Hooray for New Friends!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008



Okay so I've made a new friend recently and it's awesome. I'm so glad to be making more connections here in Tennessee because I really need them. Being so far away from my family is tough for me because they are some of my best friends. Phone calls help but they are no substitute for having a real live person to hang out with.

I have made some really fantastic friends here so far, I don't get to see most of them often enough, but great people regardless. My new friend is a girl that my husband works with and she's a cool girl. She's a lot like me in a lot of ways, but different enough for us to have plenty to talk about, lol. One thing I'm hoping is that maybe she will help me to be more active because she talks all the time about all the sports that she likes to play and how she likes to be active. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she will try to drag me out of the house to go do things with her, hehe.

I am probably going to be seeing a lot of her in the near future due to the fact that she hates her living situation. Her roommates are all driving her crazy (apparently there are several people addicted to WOW that are averse to using headphones or something, lol) so she doesn't like to be at home much lately. As much as I do hope she sorts everything out with that, I also don't mind having her around. I'm home with just a two year old to keep me company most of the time so I enjoy my status quo being shaken up.

Trying to get ready for Christmas. If I could just get these Christmas cards out I would be happy, but I just haven't been able to make myself sit down and do them yet. Will have to soon though. I made a goal that I have to have them out within one week from today. I really want to make sure that everyone gets them before Christmas obviously, lol. The cards I picked out are so pretty too, its a snow covered park scene that has iridescent glitter all over (but not the kind of glitter that comes off and gets everywhere, I hate that).

Well I think you are officially updated. That is just about everything so I'll be going now, lol.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZIRCADIA 12/10/2008 4:33PM

    I've never done Christmas cards. Maybe someday in the future when I have kids and whatnot. As soon as I read "glitter" I envisioned it going over everything, so I'm very reassured that you did NOT get that kind. ;) HEHEHEHE.

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