Friday, April 04, 2014
I am having a very bad day. I just got back from the physical therapist. She thinks I have a bulging disc. That means for now no biking, no lap swimming, no free weights, no running for now. I can walk at a moderate pace, walk in the swimming pool, and use the weight machines. Low weight, high reps for endurance. I have to admit it, I got a little weepy. I'm pretty devastated. She encouraged me that she thinks it's manageable, and that I can work back up to those things once we get the swelling out of the disc and build up my core. But I just want to cry.
Rebecca and her family are leaving for Disneyworld on Sunday for their Make-a-Wish. She has been rejected for all research studies, so when they get back from Disney we will just be waiting for the final degeneration. At this point, you'd never guess she was sick. It's heartbreaking to see this lively, funny, adorable five-year-old running around in a body that doesn't know that her brain is a grenade waiting to go off. It just doesn't seem real that we can't do anything to save her.
Wednesday, April 02, 2014
Yesterday after I wrote about my 30 days in the gym streak, I put out my back something fierce. No gym, not even any dog walking. Fortunately I already have an appointment to see the doctor today. But I also have to make a court appearance on behalf of a client and meet with a new client. It's goingto be a long, long day.
Tuesday, April 01, 2014
So, Iím 30% through my hundred-days-at-the-gym commitment. What are the results so far?
-Iíve gained 2 pounds
-I am not able to lift appreciably heavier weights
-Other than swimming, I am not appreciably faster
-Lifting on Sunday, I twinged my old shoulder injury which made me temporarily lose control of the weight and pulled muscles on my left side in my arm and my chest wall that keep giving my twinges that make me scared itís my heart (yes, I am going to the doctor tomorow to get myself checked out, but taking Advil made it go away yesterday evening, so Iím not too worried)
-I have improved my abs so that I can do 3 sets of 10 leglifts on the captainís chair, whereas at the beginning I could only do 3 sets of 5
What is my analysis of these results? It would be easy to be discouraged, because the markers that we generally look for are not there. But Iím looking at it a different way. I was already walking quite a bit and lifting, though not with regularity and discipline. So my fitness in these areas was already pretty good. Therefore, itís not actually surprising to not see much change in so short a time, since my baseline in those areas was already high.
My swimming speed and my abs, however, were abysmal. I hadnít been swimming since last summer, and I hadnít been doing ab work. So itís not surprising that I saw quick improvement in those areas because my baseline was really low.
When we see a story about someone who made vast improvements in their fitness really quickly, they usually involve either someone who was not involved in fitness at all prior to their effort, or someone already in great shape who is now making fitness pretty much their full-time job (Iím thinking of actor training up for physical roles where they spend 6 weeks in intense training and such). If a person is starting from a position of ďalready working out and in reasonable shape,Ē then the changes that upping that workout time will bring are going to be less dramatic.
Which is to say, yes it would be awesome to say that my cardio fitness went through the roof and I can now benchpress a Volkswagen. But also not a realistic expectation. My improvements are smaller, but they are there. And they will continue to grow.
If my approach to fitness was one that focused on weightloss and dress size, I would probably be discouraged, regard it all as a failure, and be tempted to quit. But because I am focused on health and activities like triathlons, I am still feeling very positive about my accomplishments.
And now it's time to get to the gym.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
In all of my groups months of messages have just disappeared. Weirdness. I hope this is temporary!
EDIT: It's all straightened out now. Must have been a glitch!
Friday, March 21, 2014
Rebecca's MRI was yesterday. I will quote the Meyers for the results:
:::The MRI showed a mass behind Rebeccaís left eye that wasnít there on the previous MRI. The doctors at CCF are communicating with the doctors at CHOP, who will determine what they can do.
We may be headed to Philadelphia this weekend, if they tell us they can remove the tumor. If they canít remove it, given the tumorís growth rate, Rebecca will likely live anywhere from a few more weeks to months, but nothing is impossible and studies are always being opened.
That is literally as much as we know right now. We are staying in a holding pattern until we get a decision from CHOP, and must ask you to do the same. Please donít call or text the house or our cell phones. Comments here are fine, but we really canít handle a flood of calls right now.
If we havenít contacted or donít contact you directly, please donít take it personally. There are a lot of things we have to deal with right now, Rebeccaís sorrow and fear primary among them. We havenít told her that she might die soon, because we donít know that ourselves, but we have told her the bad rocks are back and that she might have more surgery and radiation treatments.
To which she said: ďI hate that dumb olí rock and I want it to be gone!Ē And then curled up in our arms and wept.:::
I've been sitting here for five minutes, trying to figure out something to say that doesn't sound self-centered or self-indulgent. Right now I feel like I've been hollowed out and then smashed flat.
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