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MISSG180's Recent Blog Entries

Goodbye, Carey

Friday, December 06, 2013

My stepfather died yesterday evening. We had a house full of people when my sister called, and I just sort of fell to the floor. Everyone was wonderful and kind and stuck around to see it they could help, but of course there is nothing to be done, really.

Mom doesn't want anyone to come to Montana at this time. There will not be a funeral. Instead, she wants us to come next summer and have a memorial for him that is a picnic and family gathering. It's what he wanted.

My sister said that she had left Mom at dialysis and gone up to see Carey, and that even though his stats weren't changed, she could suddenly tell that something was wrong. She rushed back to get Mom from dialysis, and they got back to the hospital just 15 minutes before he died.

I'm feeling sad and in shock and kind of ... not numb, but like the world is all being muffled through cotton wadding. Like I can't quite move forward. I have a huge amount of work I need to get through in the next two days, but I can't really get myself started on anything.

I am glad that I got the Christmas lights up outside yesterday before all this happened. I can't imagine trying to do it today.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUDYAMK 12/6/2013 10:15PM

    I am sorry for your loss of your Dad. I will pray for the Lord to give you and your family peace within your sad anxious hearts.
Judy

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JANETRIS 12/6/2013 6:20PM

    Miss G, I am so sorry you lost your Dad. I hope the many wonderful memories you have help you through this difficult time. emoticon Jane

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LUCKYDOGFARM 12/6/2013 5:48PM

    MissG, i am so sorry for the loss of your Dad. You and your family are in my prayers. emoticon

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RHOOK20047 12/6/2013 4:35PM

    Sorry for your loss, prayers to you and your family!

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TATTER3 12/6/2013 4:13PM

    Bless your heart. I'm so sorry. You're in my prayers.

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AMARILYNH 12/6/2013 3:09PM

    emoticon Oh my - I KNOW that feeling! If you are up to it, push yourself to stay active - it helps (at least it helped me.) And if you have trouble sleeping get some help with that! Hugs!!

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NATPLUMMER 12/6/2013 11:09AM

    emoticon

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I get the bad-a$$ badge after all!

Thursday, November 28, 2013

I went to bed last night, absolutely decided that I wasn't going to run in the Turkey Dash this morning. I went to bed late, and I didn5k.'t set an alarm.

I woke up at 7:00 and thought, "Oh, no. Not happening." I went back to sleep.

I woke up again at 8:00 and thought, "Well...."

I texted my buddy and asked her what she was going to do. She was sitting on the couch, trying to decide. So I typed, "Hey, it's an hour of being cold, but then a whole day of feeling smug."

And so I went and did the 5k. I was slow as all get-out, finishing in an appalling 47 minutes. But I did it. At this point I have 10,000+ steps on my Spark Tracker for the day.

I am also absolutely stuffed full of delicious Thanksgiving dinner, and about ready to fall asleep.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NATPLUMMER 12/1/2013 4:33PM

    emoticon

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DOTTIEJANE1 12/1/2013 4:27PM

    emoticon

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EBRAINK 11/30/2013 9:01AM

    Turkey tastes better with smug!

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PELESJEWEL 11/30/2013 3:23AM

    emoticon smug time!

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JANETRIS 11/29/2013 9:52PM

    Glad you chose the "smug" feeling! Way to go!

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LIVE_AMAZINGLY 11/29/2013 12:54AM

    I've done 2 5K's. In 80 degree heat. With heart failure. It took me 60 minutes flat for each one, and I thought that was greaaaat!

I don't ever plan on doing another one though! I landed in bed for 2 days after each one.
emoticon

emoticon on getting out there - especially in the cold!


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LUCKYDOGFARM 11/28/2013 10:59PM

    Way to go MissG! Congratulations you smugturkeystuffedbadassgirl! emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/28/2013 11:00:10 PM

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HILLSLUG98239 11/28/2013 10:38PM

    Awesome! You get props from me, too.

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BJUMPINGFORJOY 11/28/2013 10:01PM

    Glad you had a good day. Good for you.

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THOMS1 11/28/2013 9:59PM

    Sounds like you had a grand Thanksgiving. emoticon

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Gobble gobble

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Tomorrow my girls and I are signed up to do a 5k "turkey dash" in the morning. Erin and I did this particular 5k last Thanksgiving with our friends Karla and Anil.

But last year Thanksgiving morning was about 45 degrees and sunny. This year the forecast is 23 degrees, snowing, and blowing like whoa.

I want to be that badass. I want to sit down to Thanksgiving dinner smug in the knowledge that I began the day with 3 miles of jogging. But even more? I do not want to be out in that crap. I think I will settle for walking the dog.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KITT52 11/29/2013 6:42PM

    I'm hoping to do next year...I just moved here and about today after the run....

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TATTER3 11/28/2013 8:04PM

    Next year will be my year!!!

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LUCKYDOGFARM 11/28/2013 12:43AM

    I'd rather be the badass who conquered the 5k in crappy weather, happily eating my pecan pie and not sweating the scale the next day because I know that I did what it takes to burn off that pie!
GoGirlGo! Don't take orders from some blowing wind.

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Collapsing from relief

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

We got the word on Rebecca's MRI today. There is no sign of her tumor returning. This means that she can proceed to chemotherapy. It's not a light at the end of the tunnel yet, but it means there is at least a tunnel.

The relief I feel is almost painful, it's so intense. I don't even know how to deal with the ache of adrenaline still coursing through my body. The relief is almost as painful as grief. It's weird and hard to deal with. I'm hoping a night of sleep will make it easier to live with.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HILLSLUG98239 11/28/2013 10:39PM

    Thank goodness!

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TATTER3 11/27/2013 12:47PM

    What a blessing!!!

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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 11/27/2013 2:57AM

    I'm really happy for Rebecca and for you! I think sometimes we are so busy gearing up for the worst that good news can take us by surprise. It's a wonderful Thanksgiving gift.
Kay

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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 11/27/2013 2:57AM

    I'm really happy for Rebecca and for you! I think sometimes we are so busy gearing up for the worst that good news can take us by surprise. It's a wonderful Thanksgiving gift.
Kay

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LUCKYDOGFARM 11/27/2013 12:28AM

    How wonderful! you all will really have something to be thankful for on thanksgiving!
Thank You Jesus for your miraculous ways!

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NATPLUMMER 11/26/2013 11:23PM

    emoticon

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.DUSTY. 11/26/2013 10:38PM

    That is so incredibly FANTASTIC!
emoticon

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BJUMPINGFORJOY 11/26/2013 9:47PM

    That is very good news. Get some rest and thank God for his touch in your life.

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ALIHIKES 11/26/2013 8:36PM

    So glad for your good news! emoticon

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JUNEAU2010 11/26/2013 8:12PM

    emoticon emoticon (and prayers!)

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Not aimed at anyone here, just a rant

Monday, November 25, 2013

I don't know exactly what it is about today, but my FB page is flooded with slacktivism pictures asking that I "support cancer victims" by linking to some photo for today. As someone who cancer is affecting deeply at this moment, someone whose heart has been broken by cancer in the past, someone who is waiting to hear *tomorrow* news that is either hopeful or devastating, I do not look upon those candles and doves and challenges for me to put that stupid picture on my page as support. I see it as an insult, a smug slap in the face to those who are suffering.

Linking to someone's random picture lets people check their internal "I supported people with cancer" box off, and then lets them wander away to funny cat pictures, thinking they've done something good. Well, you haven't. You know what supports people with cancer and their families? Money, donated for research. A meal, brought to someone who's undergoing chemo and too weak to cook. Your time, cleaning someone's house or doing their laundry or running their errands or taking them to the doctor or their kids to activities they would otherwise have to miss.

Supporting people with cancer, or with heart disease, or mental illness, or disabilities or any of the other myriad things people struggle with takes a commitment deeper than linking to some photo on Facebook, and frankly it's insulting and upsetting when you do.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIVE_AMAZINGLY 11/29/2013 1:06AM

    People don't handle someone else's illness well, so they like to basically avoid the issues totally, but convince themselves they aren't really avoiding it, by doing little stuff like that.

I am sure that most people that are doing this 'support cancer victims' thing, will never even realize what they are doing, or not doing.

I know it's upsetting - cause I have experienced something similar to it.


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EBRAINK 11/28/2013 7:21PM

    Absolutely agree.
I am just enough of a jerk when I see slackivists posts that I reply with "Hey! What a great cause, and thanks for 'raising awareness'! Here's what I do, to have a more concrete, tangible benefit {example}. But there are lots of ways to actually support, now that 'awareness has been raised' {list things people can do, from clicking a donate button to actually getting off butts and doing some work}. It's great to 'be aware' - but it's better to pitch in and help!"

Yeah, I'm a jerk, kinda. I hate to take a holier than whomever stance, but I really can't stand the idea that clicking "like" is enough to provide food for the hungry, warm beds for the homeless, or any form of kindness to people in need of it.

Grrr.

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NATPLUMMER 11/26/2013 11:43AM

    emoticon

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SIMPLYABUNDANT 11/26/2013 9:05AM

    I don't do FB, but I get the chain emails. I'm with you 100%. This is my own personal rant, but the whole social media thing encourages superficiality, and clicking on photos to "support" those touched by cancer is about as superficial as it gets. Thanks for offering some good ideas about how to offer Real Life support.

emoticon
A Caregiver


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BTRX71 11/26/2013 1:10AM

    emoticon Putting on your own page that you support a cause like cancer is fine if you really do. People post for themselves or family. Pushing the candles, ribbons, chain mails and links, etc and thinking THAT is the support is not enough.

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GRAMMAP1 11/25/2013 11:50PM

    Thank you for expressing this view. I haven't had cancer, but have shared with many cancer patients and understand your view. My Friend Ginnie is going through round 3 in 18 yrs. Will pray for you. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TOWHEE 11/25/2013 11:30PM

    emoticon

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TATTER3 11/25/2013 11:18PM

    I haven't seen any of these posts. Sorry that you've been victimized. Appreciate the insight...keep Sparkin'!!

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RAINA413 11/25/2013 11:09PM

    Thank you so much for posting this. I couldn't agree more and I am so glad that you are calling out all those people who just link photos to their Facebook page and then go on with their day.

I wish only good health for those who are struggling and hope that your loved ones are able to pull through and have a good holiday season.

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DOGLADY13 11/25/2013 10:58PM

    Well said. I just returned from visiting my father-in-law who has kidney cancer. He's doing really well right now and it was good to visit, but the doctor visits just exhaust him. It seems he has appointment every other day. It seems that he and my mother-in-law only have time for medical stuff.

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MISHMOM 11/25/2013 9:09PM

    I agree that action with our feet is more meaningful than the clicking of a mouse. emoticon

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CHUBBY_MOM 11/25/2013 6:49PM

    I agree with you so much, sometimes just a simple phone call to say "I'm thinking of you, is there anything I can do?" and meaning it, is a great thing!

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BARBARASDIET 11/25/2013 6:40PM

    Agreed, although maybe with a little less passion.....

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.DUSTY. 11/25/2013 6:02PM

    I agree!

It happens so much now that I think people start to get desensitized to it.

It happens with a lot of causes too. And it's really sad.

emoticon

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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 11/25/2013 5:23PM

    I would all calling them too just to say you are thinking of them.

Hugs,
Kay

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