Wednesday, November 06, 2013
Last night I had a craving for popcorn. Now, I have not made popcorn in over a year, and Erin may have had some Pop Secret now and then, but not in the last six months. So I dismissed the craving as unachievable and settled in to watch Marvel's Agents of Shield with Ferrett's head in my lap.
When the show was over, I got up and walked across the living room. There, in the middle of the carpet, was a single kernel of popped popcorn.
Undoubtedly, Shasta had nosed it out from someplace, carried it over, and abandoned it. But it was still eerily coincidental. And particularly effective, when watching a paranormal show!
Tuesday, November 05, 2013
We get our first basket from our CSA this Thursday. That means a lot more vegetables will be coming into my house, and will continue to come into my house throughout the winter. For those who don't know, CSA stands for Community Supported Agriculture. It is a system that pays local farmers up front and spreads the gamble of farming over a larger group of people. If it's a poor year with flooding or drought, then as a member of the CSA you shoulder part of the burden. If it's a year of abundance, then you get to share in that abundance. If you are in favor of keeping small family farms in business--and I am--then a CSA is the most proactive way you can put your dollars toward that goal.
It also means that you get a share of whatever is harvested that week, whether it's something you would normally buy or not. I'm really excited about this. I am terrible about planning recipes, but I'm quite good at spontaneous cooking. Spontaneous cooking, however, means using the ingredients on hand, and the farm share means that I will have lots more veggies on hand when I wander into the kitchen and say, "Now what shall I make for dinner?"
And they will be different veggies than I buy when I'm auto-shopping my way through the grocery store. It's easy to fall into habits, and eat the same thing all the time. The CSA is great at presenting me with produce I have to say, "now what do I do with this?" Like beets. I don't really care that much for them, but Ferrett likes them. Left to my own devices, I won't buy them. But if they arrive in the farm share, then I'd better figure out something to do with them.
It's not cheap, but I think it's one of the best ways to support the local economy and get more variety into your diet. If you are interested in finding out about CSAs in your area, you can find a lot of information at this website:
This is what I'm getting in this week's share:
1 Whole Chicken, approx 5 lbs
2# bag fingerling potatoes
1 bulb garlic
1 candy onion
1 bunch swiss chard
1 bag mixed baby lettuce, 0.5 lbs
1 bunch beets with tops
1 bunch celery
1 bag purple filet beans
1 head broccoli
1 quart baby sweet peppers
1 bunch carrots with tops
1 dozen eggs
1 quarter peck gala apples
4 oz pumpkin quark (a spreadable cream cheese)
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
I can tell that I've been watching too much classic, black & white Doctor Who. I just got up to make myself some tea and babbled out, "This unit requires stimulation to continue functioning under sleep deprivation stress. Re-caffeinate! Re-caffeinate!"
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Yesterday I had a lot of work to do, but not a screaming deadline. So I took an hour to make a dent in the mess that is my sewing space. I cleared off all the junk that had just kind of landed in that space, and put everything away. I'm going to try and do an hour of decluttering a day. I think that is easier than trying to do it all at once.
Then in the afternoon I had a meeting with clients not too far from here. Instead of working until the absolute drop-dead minute of having to leave to drive over, I put things aside and biked over. Even though it was a short ride, it felt SO GOOD to get outside and on my bike.
In the early evening, DH asked me to walk with him to Target, which is about half a mile away. Even though my head was completely immersed in work, I was able to pull myself out of it and enjoy walking with him and the puppy. And when I took Shasta for her final walk of the evening, I put on my running shoes and jogged a little bit of the mile walk--the first jogging I've done since my last triathlon, just before the whole world fell apart.
It was an AWFUL jog! I am way out of practice. And yet it made me feel really good. I am ready to start working my way back up to a 5k again, and that made me feel REALLY good.
I have a class downtown this afternoon, and I was thinking of biking to it, but it's pouring rain. 11 miles each way in pouring rain is not my idea of fun. But I do think I will jog with the puppy again tonight!
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
My husband sent me a link today to a gif on Boing Boing that he proclaimed to be "The Coolest GIF of the Day." I'm linking it here. Feel free to take a moment to peek at it. I'll wait.
When I saw this, I was flooded with memories of watching Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood with my children when they were little. I learned how trikes and crayons were made, among other things, thanks to a humble minister and his low-budget children's show.
What I remember best about Mr. Rogers, though, was his kind acceptance of people "just the way you are." He liked everyone, no matter where they were on their path in life. If you were working to become a better person, that was a good thing, but that didn't mean you weren't valued for who you were right at that moment, before you had achieved your goals. You deserved kindness, and respect, and to like yourself. Even if you also wanted to become something better.
I have been struggling with liking myself just the way I am for a while. Life has been really chaotic, and filled with stress, and work has been so busy that I have not had time to get out and ride my bike or get to the gym or take care of myself in the way that makes me feel healthiest. That's frustrating, and it's made me feel impatient with myself and disappointed that I don't have the capacity to somehow find the time to do all I am doing *plus* the rest of everything.
In a way, it's a good sign that I'm noticing what I'm missing. For a while life was too crazy for me to even pay attention to that. It's a sign that, fingers crossed, things appear to be restabilizing.
But I have to be careful about my inner dialogue. It's easy to think that I should be now to just jump back on the bandwagon of everything I was doing before, and to ignore that changes in life may mean that the new "normal" doesn't look exactly like the old "normal" looked. And that is okay. If I don't accept that, I am likely to spend my time comparing and being disappointed in myself, which leads to a sense of defeat. I've been there before; I've given up in the past because I wasn't able to sustain a certain level of perfection. And the worry that I will do that again is one more worry on top of the heap of other worries.
But today a GIF of chain being made reminded me of Mr. Rogers, and Mr. Rogers reminded me that I am likable, just the way I am. I feel better about myself, and the self-defeating disappointment has been jettisoned before it could turn into loathing. I'm not perfect, but if I like myself I take care of myself better. I am special. I deserve to be loved.
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