Monday, June 04, 2012
For years, I have avoided the underwire bra. They aren't comfortable, and the wires poked me under the arms. When I was last thin(ish), I got talked into buying three underwire bras, but then they say in the closet for years.
Cue my daughter, and her quest to see me more fashionably dressed. As we were going through the closet, I sat aside two tops that I had recently tried on and that were still too small. She looked at them and demanded I try them on again, only with one of these proper bras and actually got "the girls" front and center on my chest.
Wow, those tops look *awesome*.
And she, of course, looked smug. "I told you it made a difference!"
"But I HATE them!" I wailed. "They aren't comfortable!"
She held up her hand with that look that would brook no argument. And so I wore one that evening when we went out.
I had to admit it. It really looked great. But as soon as we got home I FREED myself from that torture device and swore that I would stop wearing it as soon as the daughter went on her merry way.
So why am I sitting here now in discomfort? Why am I torturing my body this way?
Because she is right. It does look a lot better. My waist looks trimmer, everything is properly supported, and my clothes fit better.
It's like she opened Pandora's box. Now that I know, I can't just go back to the way it was before. Oh, sitting around the house I will let myself relax with a softcup bra. But when I tried to wear one out of the house the other day, and looked at myelf in the mirror? Couldn't let that happen.
Friday, June 01, 2012
Went to Sears today, because Dear Daughter works there and gets a discount, to pick up a few items of clothing to help me get through the transition time in this weightloss journey. I got a few cute things on the clearance rack, so that's good. By the way, that's the clearance rack in the regular size department. I can fit into those clothes again!
I also am exhausted, with a closet full of empty hangers. DD insisted that we go through my clothes and get rid of the ones that are too big. My goodness the pile of stuff that doesn't fit is LARGE. Some of my favorite things, too, though a few of them can be altered. That's a separate pile from the MOUNTAIN of Just Plain Too Big Stuff.
I also discovered that I can get back into the little black dress I wore as my wedding dress. This is bizarre because I am still 60 POUNDS HEAVIER than I was on my wedding day. It was the last thing in the closet, and on a whim I just wanted to see how close I was getting. When DD zipped it right up without any problem, I was GOBSMACKED. It's a bit snugger around the hips than it was that day, but I'm still easily into it. Talk about your nonscale victories!
But wow, I must have been in appallingly bad shape when we got married! I had peeled off 20 pounds or so with Atkins, and it was the last time I was ever under 200 pounds. If I continue working out like I'm doing now, I sort of wonder what shape I will be when I reach that mark again....
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Barely any exercise this week. DD here is a good excuse, but I will have to make up for it next week. Finishing the month with just under 250 miles on my bike. Must do better in June.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
My older daughter is here visiting. She's 26, and lives several states away with her fiance, so we don't get to see each other nearly often enough. She's always been my outdoors/athletic girl.
So it's funny that we've gotten in very little exercise together. Because we've been so busy visiting, and visiting with friends, my focus has been on time together rather than on working out. We went for a long walk on Monday, but it was cut short by the heat and humidity, which was making DH feel dizzy and nauseated.
Tonight we may be going for a bike ride, but as she is not an experienced biker and as my spare bike is slow (and my bike too big for her frame) it will probably be a relatively short ride. Which is okay, because it's more important to spend time with her than to worry about a couple workouts. Keeping these things in perspective is good, and I only get her until Friday.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
I just found out that one of my favorite people from law school was killed in a car accident. I'm sitting here stunned. We were in the same class, and from the first semester had study groups together. We made a good team: I kept all the good notes, and he had a teacher's mind so would help me to turn that jumble of knowledge into cohesive statements of the law.
He hosted the first party for our class, and was the main impetus behind us being such a close-knit, supportive group--professors commented regularly on how we cooperated instead of competing. He was rude, obnoxious, and funny as hell.
After we finished school, he moved out of town and we lost track of each other, but I was just thinking about him the other day.
And now he's gone.
I can't say we were close, but we were friends. And even though I probably would never have seen him again, I miss him.
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