Sunday, October 23, 2011
I refuse to diet. Diets are about deprivation, and continual hunger, and wanting wanting CRAVING cheating guilt. That's no way to live, and with over 100 pounds to lose, I can't think if my life as on hold while I lose weight.
My vow is simple: never put anything into my mouth that isn't delicious. This can be a little tricky, if you don't like fresh fruit and vegetables, and if your palate is trained to love junk food. But if you like eating a variety of foods, and if you like experimentation and can be flexible, it is so much more satisfying.
That means a lot of thinking about what I'm going to eat, and a lot of monitoring myself for satiety. My biggest problem is that what feels like "enough" is really way too much and I have trouble knowing that I'm sated. So I'm trying to take the approach of eating what the books say is a proper portion, but promising myself if I'm still actually hungry later I can have more. That seems to be quieting the frantic panic in my head that says I'm going to be cheated out of something.
I'm not always perfect, but it does help.
Friday, October 21, 2011
The day off was good for me. I worked out hard this morning and felt very good about it.
I'm still playing with the schedule of my workouts, trying to find the optimal approach. But I feel pretty good about it today.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Today is my first month Sparkiversary. How am I celebrating it? By having my first serious bout of soreness and miseries. I wouldn't worry about it much, but the pain is in joints.
Taking a day off from working out. Hoping a day of rest is enough to recover.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
I traveled far this weekend, a driving trip from Ohio to Maryland. 6 hours of driving each way.
Now, long drives have always translated to junk food binges for me - you have to keep your energy up, right? Driving is hard work, right?
Well, not if you're honest with yourself.
On the way there, I didn't even consider junk food. But after a long weekend, not enough sleep, and an impending cold, the refueling stop presented me with serious temptation. I wandered in the convenience store, looking at chips and candy, determined that I "deserved" something salty and fatty and sweet.
Then I stopped and thought. I listened to my body. I wasn't hungry. I didn't need fuel to get home. I would be feeding the power of habit, not nourishing my body.
So I walked past the junk food. I grabbed a bottle of water, paid for it, and walked away from all that temptation. And I felt better about myself than a whole bag of Ghardettos would ever taste.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
I am kind of a geek for the Spark Points, and love to see myself get over 100 points each day. But I only give myself points for things I actually do, when I do them. So when I see the leaderboard for points starting the month with over 2000 points assigned on day one, I'm irritated by people gaming the system.
Then I happened to follow through to the leaderboard for fitness minutes. Apparently there are people who are working out for 3.5 hours every single day.
Every. Single. Day.
Pardon me if I'm just a bit cynical about this. I've had days with 3.5 hours of exercise. I've had days with more than that, on century rides.
But every day? I'm suspicious.
Then I realize: it's not really my business, is it? If they are working out that long daily, that's their business. And if they are gaming the system for the points, that doesn't impact my own progress, does it? I'm in this only for me. Other people aren't "ahead" of me or "behind" me. They are simply on their own paths.
My childhood sense of fairness and outrage at what I perceive to be potential cheating are immaterial here, because my journey isn't about that. I can't let such things get in my way or trip me up.
I'm always going to be somewhere in the mid-back of the pack. But as long as I'm making progress on my own goals, that's just fine.
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