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I am more than my dress size, more than the sum of my scale

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

There is nothing sadder to me than hearing someone say, "I can't do _____ until I lose weight." Well, maybe the one sadder thing is when I realize that I've been saying it to myself.

Now, there are some hard limitations. I'm not going to be climbing Mt. Everest at my weight. But sometimes we are just casting around for hard limitations to justify ourselves--even if I were at my ideal weight and in great shape, I have no *interest* in climbing Mt. Everest!

But most of the time, those "I can't" moments are nothing more than self-limitations. I can't go dancing until I lose weight. I can't go to the beach until I lose weight. I can't play with my kids in the park until I lose weight. I can't take a vacation until I lose weight.

It's trying to put life on hold, captive to our size. But life doesn't wait. It just keeps flowing by, and our self-imposed boundaries mean that we don't get to enjoy it.

The biggest problem I see with the "can't until I lose weight" mentality is that it's completely self-defeating: you spend weeks denying yourself the comfort of food, while also denying yourself the pleasure of living. And then when the scale doesn't move for a couple weeks, you feel completely defeated. It's impossible to see what good there is in continuing, since you aren't having any fun in this new lifestyle and you know that the comfort of eating is always waiting. No wonder people give up! There is no incentive to keep living in miserable austerity!

Instead, I am working to take advantage of all the fun that is coming my way. Some things are becoming easier because of the weight loss and increased health and stamina, and that's great. I'm embracing the fun, so when there are weeks that the scale shows no change, I can honestly say, "yes, but my life is so much better lived this way that even if I didn't lose any more weight I would still want to feel like this and keep having this much fun." Sure, I'm still 70 pounds over my goal weight, but I have so much more energy and am able to do so many more things that I would chose to keep this up even if I couldn't lose more weight. I feel good, and I'm having fun.

Everyone, no matter what size they are, deserves to enjoy their life. And you might as well enjoy this moment of it, because it's going by and you aren't going to get a second chance at this time.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRESHA20 4/5/2012 8:55AM

    This is definitely true that we should live life no matter what our size is. Sure there are some things that are limited by size, but there are so many others that aren't. I keep trying to remind myself to stop letting my weight get in the weigh of me doing things. I am always worrying about if someone is going to say something about that "fat" woman, etc. It really shouldn't matter. I wish it were a little bit easier to not care what others may or may not say. I have missed out on a lot worrying about others and just being plain old self conscious.

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NORA-L 4/5/2012 8:25AM

    It takes a lot of strength and bravery to get out and do what you want regardless of weight. You are an inspiration.

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CHOOSE2BELIEVE 4/4/2012 5:26PM

    AWESOME!! Is the first thing that came to mind when I read this...there are so many "I CAN'TS" out there and no matter how many times you say it...NO ONE CAN CHANGE IT BUT YOU! You are very right....START LIVING LIFE NO MATTER WHAT SIZE YOU ARE!!!
Thank you for such an inspirational blog!!

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NATPLUMMER 4/4/2012 2:00PM

    Awesome blog!!

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RICHILA 4/4/2012 1:21PM

    Enjoying your life right now is the ultimate NSV!
Spark On! You Got This! emoticon

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DELHSI 4/4/2012 1:06PM

    One of the best blogs I've read! You're awesome!

~Della

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MSANITAL 4/4/2012 11:16AM

    Well said my friend well said.. you are so right I find my self saying this or I use to say this but no more..
Thank you

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CAKEMAKERMOM 4/4/2012 11:13AM

    Keep up the healthy mindset. You can do all of those things. Don't let that girl come out and be a negative Nelly. Let positive you overpower her!

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OPTIMIST1948 4/4/2012 11:12AM

    Awesome. One of the things I have noticed is I enjoy Active-ities a whole lot more since I started Sparking. Turns into a spiral of success.

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YULLABELLE 4/4/2012 10:26AM

    So true. We are worth so much more. keep working towards a healthier and enjoy the journey you are on. Don't look to the future for tomorrow is promised to noone. Enjoy each day now. emoticon

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DOTTIEJANE1 4/4/2012 10:10AM

    This is so true . We are at this site FOR A LIFESTYLE CHANGE that means ENJOYING LIFE EACH AND EVERY MOMENT . Part of this journey is non scale victories , such as energy, and the ring fits. you CAN bend over now, can walk further and enjoy the changing seasons. Have a great ACTIVE Spring emoticon emoticon

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KARENDEE4 4/4/2012 10:04AM

    emoticon

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REDHATSHAPELY1 4/4/2012 9:50AM

    I love your blog! it is so true that we need to get out and live life and start tearing down the walls of our self made mental prisons. I think you may have hit on one of the reasons there is so much disdain of obese people in our culture: many are inclined to hide inside their homes and tend to go out in public just to do the bare essentials of errands or go out for fast food or ice cream. You don't see (at least in Ohio) very many heavy people taking hikes, swimming, or doing other active things. So that perpetuates the stereotype that they are lazy. SP can lead the way to healthy change. emoticon

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MDBUTTERFLY 4/4/2012 9:50AM

    Awesome blog!!! I can very much relate as I spent MANY years playing the "I cant" game. Fighting hard to break those self imposed boundaries.
Thank you for sharing!!!

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EUPHRATES 4/4/2012 9:46AM

    Why I love ~INDYGIRL's byline - Life happens NOW, not 10 pounds from now. :)
emoticon

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1PEACEBUNNY 4/4/2012 9:45AM

    I say that evryday to myself so no truer words have ever been spoken. You can do what you want when you want. Maybe you can't climb Mt. Everest but you can try. I refuse to let my weight define who I am. Just because I want to be rid of it now doesn't mean I don't love myself with it. You go...attitudes like yours make my day. emoticon

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WINKEL730 4/4/2012 9:38AM

    I could hear myself in your words. I know negative thoughts can cause defeat more than anything else. I liked reading this out loud.

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Biking, day 2

Monday, April 02, 2012

I had a doctor's appointment, and then an appointment for a haircut. Neither are very far away, and I'd planned on biking.

Then it wasn't as warm as I thought it was going to be. I said to hubby that maybe I should reconsider.

"Go," he said, not even looking up at me. He knows me so well.

So yeah, it was windy and cold, but I did it. 11 miles again. And I'm glad!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HONBAD 4/2/2012 9:45PM

    Good for you!! And yay for supportive husbands! Mine would have done the same thing.

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NATPLUMMER 4/2/2012 4:28PM

    YAY!!! I bet it got you some bonus points at the doc's too ;-)

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30 days of biking

Monday, April 02, 2012

I've signed up for the 30 days of biking challenge, and yesterday I rode 11. The challenge is to bike every single day of April, even if it's just around the block. I wouldn't have gone yesterday, I don't think, but for the challenge calling to me! Today I plan on doing it in the afternoon while taking care of some errands.

Yikes! I should have posted this yesterday. Sorry. if you're still interested, you can go to 30daysofbiking.com/ and still register.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REYA-RLYEH 4/2/2012 11:39AM

    Love this!

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NATPLUMMER 4/2/2012 9:57AM

    Yay!! What a great challenge!! Have fun :-) emoticon

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CAKEMAKERMOM 4/2/2012 9:49AM

    Enjoy your challenge!

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BLUESKIES139 4/2/2012 8:55AM

    Thats awesome! Have fun!!!

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OPTIMIST1948 4/2/2012 8:35AM

    Wow, what a nifty idea. I think I'll try (without the committment tho).

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GEEKYMOUSE 4/2/2012 8:05AM

    Oh I wish I saw this challenge yesterday too!

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ANGRYJOHNNY69 4/2/2012 7:59AM

    Wish I noticed that challenge yesterday! Right up my alley but im a day late.. Good luck with it, have fun!

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How to get my groove back?

Saturday, March 31, 2012

My brain keeps telling me that there is no reason for me to still be so weak. I should be recovered.

My body keeps falling over in a heap.

I am not going to let this discourage me. I am getting more done before collapse time every day. But it's hard to be patient with it all. I'm not going to make 1,000 fitness minutes this month, and that's disappointing.

But I have to remember that this is about the long haul. Overdoing it now will just slow me down later. I have to keep reminding myself that is what matters most.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OVERHAULING-ME 3/31/2012 9:38PM

    You haven't given up and that's the important part. You were sick for awhile! It's going to take time. But sure you have the nutrition part down to help you with your energy and strength!

Take Care!

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NATPLUMMER 3/31/2012 7:14PM

    You were pretty sick for a while. I'm not surprised you're still a little weak. I think it might take a couple of weeks for you to be back up to your normal self. emoticon

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APPLESBANANAS 3/31/2012 3:38PM

    Has your eating been on track, or not enough? I know you said when you were sick you weren't eating much... make sure you're fueling yourself enough, and staying hydrated with plenty of fluids.

Working in a day or two of rest every week (not just "less" exercise, but actual REST) might be wise too, instead of stretching yourself thin 7 days per week.

Also, making sure your sleep cycle is pretty consistent might help too... going to bed about the same time and getting up about the same time every day. Maybe you tried these things already. Good luck getting the groove back!

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KARENDEE4 3/31/2012 2:37PM

    Do what you can! If you are trying then you will get it done eventually!

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Good enough to eat!

Thursday, March 29, 2012

My mouth is finally to the point where I can eat without excruciating pain! Which meant that last night I enjoyed rather a bit more than I should have of the good dinner I made. The feeling of fullness disrupted me sleep, and reminded me that I need to eat less in the evening just so I can rest well.

Still, eating! Yay!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NATPLUMMER 3/29/2012 11:42AM

    YAY!!!

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HONBAD 3/29/2012 9:58AM

    Glad to hear it! It's a good thing you noticed your fullness - at least for me, whenever I do that now I always am glad it happens far less than it used to.

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