Friday, April 06, 2012
Today's bike ride: 19 miles. Ended up very rubber-legged at the end, but that was at least partially hydration issues. When I finally stopped to drink because I couldn't climb the hill out of the valley, I basically emptied my entire quart bottle without any problem. That's when I realized that, even though it's not hot yet and even though I don't notice how much I'm sweating, I am not handling this hydration thing well. Part of that is coordination. I cannot for the life of me drink out of a water bottle at speed. So I end up not drinking. Which is why I'm asking for a Camelbak hydration system for my birthday, preferably in high-visibility yellow.
I am really dedicated to this biking, but I have to be smart about it, too.
Wednesday, April 04, 2012
There is nothing sadder to me than hearing someone say, "I can't do _____ until I lose weight." Well, maybe the one sadder thing is when I realize that I've been saying it to myself.
Now, there are some hard limitations. I'm not going to be climbing Mt. Everest at my weight. But sometimes we are just casting around for hard limitations to justify ourselves--even if I were at my ideal weight and in great shape, I have no *interest* in climbing Mt. Everest!
But most of the time, those "I can't" moments are nothing more than self-limitations. I can't go dancing until I lose weight. I can't go to the beach until I lose weight. I can't play with my kids in the park until I lose weight. I can't take a vacation until I lose weight.
It's trying to put life on hold, captive to our size. But life doesn't wait. It just keeps flowing by, and our self-imposed boundaries mean that we don't get to enjoy it.
The biggest problem I see with the "can't until I lose weight" mentality is that it's completely self-defeating: you spend weeks denying yourself the comfort of food, while also denying yourself the pleasure of living. And then when the scale doesn't move for a couple weeks, you feel completely defeated. It's impossible to see what good there is in continuing, since you aren't having any fun in this new lifestyle and you know that the comfort of eating is always waiting. No wonder people give up! There is no incentive to keep living in miserable austerity!
Instead, I am working to take advantage of all the fun that is coming my way. Some things are becoming easier because of the weight loss and increased health and stamina, and that's great. I'm embracing the fun, so when there are weeks that the scale shows no change, I can honestly say, "yes, but my life is so much better lived this way that even if I didn't lose any more weight I would still want to feel like this and keep having this much fun." Sure, I'm still 70 pounds over my goal weight, but I have so much more energy and am able to do so many more things that I would chose to keep this up even if I couldn't lose more weight. I feel good, and I'm having fun.
Everyone, no matter what size they are, deserves to enjoy their life. And you might as well enjoy this moment of it, because it's going by and you aren't going to get a second chance at this time.
Monday, April 02, 2012
I had a doctor's appointment, and then an appointment for a haircut. Neither are very far away, and I'd planned on biking.
Then it wasn't as warm as I thought it was going to be. I said to hubby that maybe I should reconsider.
"Go," he said, not even looking up at me. He knows me so well.
So yeah, it was windy and cold, but I did it. 11 miles again. And I'm glad!
Monday, April 02, 2012
I've signed up for the 30 days of biking challenge, and yesterday I rode 11. The challenge is to bike every single day of April, even if it's just around the block. I wouldn't have gone yesterday, I don't think, but for the challenge calling to me! Today I plan on doing it in the afternoon while taking care of some errands.
Yikes! I should have posted this yesterday. Sorry. if you're still interested, you can go to 30daysofbiking.com/ and still register.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
My brain keeps telling me that there is no reason for me to still be so weak. I should be recovered.
My body keeps falling over in a heap.
I am not going to let this discourage me. I am getting more done before collapse time every day. But it's hard to be patient with it all. I'm not going to make 1,000 fitness minutes this month, and that's disappointing.
But I have to remember that this is about the long haul. Overdoing it now will just slow me down later. I have to keep reminding myself that is what matters most.
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