MISHKA_1972's Recent Blog Entries

Ahhh...the New Year and New Beginnings (again?)

Thursday, January 06, 2011

A New Year always seems like a good time to begin new journeys. It is always seems so easy at first and then you realize how much hard work it really is ~ even when you have embarked on this journey once before. ;)

My New Year begins with one less organ, my gallbladder. Apparently it decided to give out and stop working. Problem is it took me many, many, many (too many) months to go to the doctor to find out why I was always sick.

I also gained back 20 lbs of the 60 lbs I lost. This is a little disappointing but I know what I was (or rather was not) doing. I am not trying to make excuses for gaining the weight back but rather I know what behaviors I really need to focus on changing...and these ones will be much harder than past behaviors.

Some positive things I was doing....I continued to drink a ton of water, continued to not drink caffine (been caffine free since March 2009) and ate fruits and veggies with 2 out of 3 meals.

Some not so positive things (and these are the behaviors I really need to change)....I ate when I felt sick, stressed, overwhelmed or any other bad emotion. I worked a ton of overtime at work. I did not exercise consistently. I did not put myself and my health before my job.

Now I cannot say the whole year was awful. There were some really good times. There were times when I was exercising regularily for several months at a time, making good food choices, etc. The problem was this was not consistent. I would have to say that the last 6 months of the year were really hard on me and I was always ill which for some reason gives me free license to eat anything and everything I want including...frozen pizza, candy, chips, and a ton of Chipotle. Any comfort food was up for grabs!

I knew what I was doing but just really didn't care. I reasoned that I felt sick and needed something to make myself feel better. I have realized I really need a new coping skill when I feel sick and tired....not sure what that is but I feel I must prepare for these feelings in advance in order to lose this weight. I don't have an answer today but I will be working on it.

So ~ the New Year! It is a time to begin again. I had my gallbladder removed and now realize how sick I had really been all those months before. I feel so much better and ready to start focusing on me. My job is the same but different. I will need to remember to put myself first and not the work I do. I need to be healthy and being healthy definately affects my mood and general state of mind.

Changes I have made so far: spent last weekend cooking healthy meals and portioned them out. They are in my freezer and I feel pretty good about the food choices I have made this week. I have found that I don't want to snack on sweets in the office when I am feeling stressed or overwhelmed. I have more energy (as much as I can still recovering). Everytime I get a meal out or heat it up I feel like I have given myself some love. Cooking and eating the food I make for myself makes me feel like I am giving the gift of love to myself.

I am feeling better. Still have some pains when I am exhusted. Still trying to figure out what I can and cannot eat (although not having too many problems with this considering everything has been really healthy). Still waiting until I can exercise (got the new Zumba for the Wii for Christmas!!).

Overall ~ I think I am on the up swing from the end of the last year. I am looking forward to this year and looking forward to continuing my weight loss journey. It has been a bumpy ride and I am hoping that this year the road will be a tad bit smoother!

Happy New Year to all those out there and I wish you success in your own weight loss journey!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IHEART06 1/6/2011 10:19AM

    You had your gallbladder.. removed. Of course you were really sick!! When your body is truely unwell you're not equiped(mentally or physically) to make the best decisions-- especially when it's prolonged. I'm so glad you're feeling better now, and that you're back to your journey. Good luck, good health!!


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Reflection ~ week 10 and first goal met.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

This is week 10 of my new and improved weight loss journey. I guess the health scares in March reminded me of the importance of taking care of myself. I realized I am not able to care for others if I am tired all the time and feel bad about myself because I cannot take care of my own needs.

This morning I sit and reflect on what I have accomplished over the past 10 weeks. First it seems as if it has been much longer since I recommitted to weight loss with spark people. I had to go back and look in my nutritional tracker to make sure I had the dates correct.

I feel as if I have begun the process of change. I can't imagine eating any other way. I still indulge, look for foods that are low sodium and stay away from soda. The one thing I have noticed is that I don't feel like I am missing anything. The way I used to eat I was missing so much good food (that was healthy and nourishing my soul as well as my taste buds) and actually tasting my food. Now when I eat ~ I can taste what I am eating. No longer do I smoother my food with condiments. I guess I have always enjoyed tasting my food ~ Lol ~ but now I can taste other yummy foods. I also fell in love with veggies again.

Food was more of something to just absently give my body and more times than not ~ my emotions. I have learned that feeding my body with good food in turn feeds my emotions. I feel stronger and more confident. I am able to manage my emotions. I also find I am doing a lot of positive self talk. It really does work. I remind myself every day of what I am doing to love myself. The challenges seem less with positive self talk.

This is my fourth week of working out. In the past I have loved exercise but I am picky about what I do. It has to be something I enjoy. I have the Wii fit and started actually using it. After the first week I decided I needed a little something more and bought the Wii Cardio. I use them 3-4 times a week. I am now up to almost an hour of exercise on those days. I love the workouts and how I feel. They really get me started on my day. The days I don't work out in the morning ~ I feel as if I am forgetting something as I leave the house for work.

I went in for a sleep study and was told I do not have sleep apnea. This was the best news. Now that I am exercising and continuing to eat well ~ I have noticed that I am sleeping better. I still have nights when I wake up early. On those mornings I just get up and work out and make something delicious for breakfast. I am proud to report those mornings are occurring much less frequently.

My clothes are starting to feel too big. I now get to dry my pants in a dryer!! This is in attempt to shrink them so I can wear them a bit longer before needing to purchase new pants. I can see the changes in my body and even though I have a long way to go I remind myself to focus on small goals.

When I started this journey ~ I had 160 lbs to lose. This amount is not extreme ~ in fact the total goal is at the high end for my height and age. I know this weight (have been there in the past) and know that I can maintain it very well. Too keep myself motivated and not feeling overwhelmed ~ I focus on 20 lbs. So I have several mini goals consisting of 20 lbs. Each time I achieve a mini goal ~ I get a reward. This time I got two belly dancing instructional DVD's. It is something I have always wanted to learn. When I meet my next mini goal I will get the Wii Active.

So ~ week 10 and 21.8 lbs lighter. I cannot believe how different I feel. I feel strong. I feel confident. I feel beautiful. I feel like I can keep doing this. I feel like I can accomplish my goals. I feel amazing!

I look forward to the next 10 weeks. I am looking forward to continue growing as a person, shrinking in size, and becoming more self-aware of the role food plays in my life.

Good Luck to everyone out there in Spark People!! You can do it!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUNGLEJUNGLE 1/6/2011 9:48AM

  You are an inspiration! Well done!

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NANJET 5/27/2009 11:42PM

    Congratulations!! You sound like you really have adjusted to a new way of life and it's really working for you!!

Keep up the good work...your weight loss of more than 20 lbs is a huge success!!

Welcome back!!

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Nothing like a battery in the scale to keep myself motivated!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Happy day for me!!

Actually this past week has been wonderful. I managed to not act on my impulse to order and eat pizza out(special thanks to my daughter!). I also was able to eat well this week despite the fact I am exhausted (almost fell asleep at my work computer today). I feel so wonderful about my choices and extra time/attention I put forth to plan out my meals, make my lunches and not give in to my co-workers eating out. Last night my daughter gave me a big huge and told me "I am so proud of you mom!". WOW! Talk about the best motivator to keep me going.

Even though I can feel my body losing weight ~ I like to see the scale move as well. So ~ lucky me I remembered to stop at the store and pick up a battery for the scale (in addition to some yummy non-dairy, low sodium ice cream). I was so excited that I decided to not wait until tomorrow morning to weigh.....I was pleasantly surprised with an additional 3.8 lbs. gone...for a total of 8.8. Yeah me!!

I have to admit I kinda missed the soda today! I cannot wait for the sleep study next week ~ I wish they give me the darn breathing machine already!!

Anyway ~ hope everyone is doing well and feeding their body good and nutritious food!!

Have a Fabulous End to the Week!!!



Doctor Visit Today.....

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


and I lost 4 lbs in two weeks!!!

At first I was a little disappointed it was not more. While waiting for my doctor to come in I had to do some self-talk. I had to remind myself how good that is ~ averages out to 2 lbs a week. Gosh, if I could lose 1-2 lbs every week ~ I would be a ROCK-STAR!. I also had to remind myself of all the positive changes I have made over the last two weeks and how much better I feel. I am sleeping better (better but not perfect) and can no longer tolerate the sugary sweet taste of soda. Another benefit is that I am really enjoying the taste of my food now that it is not smothered in dressings, salt, and other condiments.

My doctor released me for exercise. However I need to start slow ~ 10 minutes a day for the first few days and then building in time. I also need to slip in some strength exercise a few days a week.

The only concern left to address is the possibility of sleep apnea. So I will completing a sleep study in May. That might be why I am still so tired even though I am doing so many things right (and might be why I am still experiencing chest pains). Initially I was upset with the idea I might have sleep apnea but now I don't care because I just want to have more energy during the day!!

Anyway ~ I am tired and life is great!! I am excited to see loss on the scale but more thrilled with feeling like I am feeding my soul and body with good food!!

Stay strong everyone and remember to take time to taste your food!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TBUTTERFLY611 4/15/2009 11:04PM

  Sleep apnea can take over your life if not treated!! It can also cause you to gain weight. My husband had it so bad he almost lost his life. It was a hard thing to go through. The doctor kept putting him on different sleep machines but nothing worked. My husband told me it felt like he was strangling at night. The doctor just said he was not giving the machines enough time. He could not do anything without falling asleep. It got so bad he was falling asleep at the dinner table. He could not even drive. We had to sleep in different rooms because his body fought all night long for air so he was hitting me all night long and the snoring was awful.

I was fed up and took him to another doctor and he said that my husband needed to have surgery right away. He had a deviated septum and he was strangling at night on his uvula. He had his tonsils,adenoids and uvula removed and his septum straightened. If you do have it and the machines don't work get a second opinion. The surgery saved his life.

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Thirsty Thursday...

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Hope everyone is doing well today!!

I am doing fabulous! Feeling great! For the second day in a row I was able to stay within my sodium range. I think healthy veggies is the way to go!

I cannot wait until my doctor releases me for exercise! I am looking forward to getting out and moving more.

My daughter and I have been going through all my veggie cookbooks to find meals we both will like. Trying to find ways to get more natural (non-processed) food into my everyday eating ~ means I continue taking more time to plan my meals.

In a hurry this morning ~ so I will try to write more later tonight.

Have a Totally Cool Thursday and Drink tons of water!!


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