Friday, February 24, 2012
So usually when lent rolls around I tend not to be very particular about giving something up, since I wasn't really raised with that tradition. However, this year I've really been needing a spiritual kick in the pants, and my church challenged us to go on a "Daniel Fast", which is essentially a vegan diet without processed foods (including things like pasta or bread). That's just way too hard core for me! Instead, I decided to go pescatarian--vegetarian but I'm still going to eat seafood.
it's day 2 and this alone has been hard enough! Yesterday my dad and I ate smashed potatoes with parsley from the garden, garlic, lemon, and parmesan cheese, and then mushroom ravioli. Delish! Today, I spent all day thinking about what we were going to eat for dinner. For some reason salads or veggie stirfries just don't sound appealing to me, even though I love the veggie stirfries from the food trucks at school. Most meals that I came up with just sounded so bare...because meat was missing. Mind you, I probably wasn't very creative, but I'd think of something, and my brain would go..."huh. That doesn't sound satisfying. I wonder why....oh! it's because it's missing meat, mm, MEAT!"
I've grown up as a meat and potatoes (more like meat and rice) kinda girl all my life. Meat was the star of the show. Sure, we had vegetables at every meal, but they were like the sidekick that comes along for the ride, or the little sister that you have to include at your birthday party because it's the right thing to do. I know I've had vegetarian meals in the past, salads, soups, quiches, omelettes, stirfries, summer rolls, and seafood for crying out loud, but for some reason looking forward into 40 days of meatless meals just feels like I need a ticker to count down to that last meal. To be honest, it feels a little crazy! And in my head, I don't really think it should be that hard, but my stomach keeps muttering and complaining about how difficult this will be.
After just TWO DAYS in to this challenge, I'm finding out just how meat-centric my diet really is. Even sandwiches for lunch have to be revamped since turkey is out of the picture. And no bacon and eggs for breakfast anymore! (I don't even eat bacon and eggs that often, but just the knowledge that I CANT have it makes it feel so much more like deprivation!)
My brain is so disturbing and strange! haha But I'm glad I'm doing this--I'm already learning a lot about how I see food and sustenance, and I can't wait for a healthier outlook where veggies and fruits (not beef) are what's for dinner.
Tuesday, February 07, 2012
This past week I've been confused. Some days I feel hungry but not at the same time. (Hopefully some of you know what I mean by that.) It's this weird feeling of wanting to eat something, but yet you're not actually hungry. The other day I couldn't even tell if I was hungry or full! I'd just eaten, and I didn't even clean my plate (the food wasn't very tasty), and I was just trying to decipher what my body was telling me.
Eventually I realized that I was physically satisfied, but my tastebuds were crying out for something more. I wanted to taste something "worth it", something that was delicious. So yes, I wasn't actually hungry, but there was still this feeling of unsatisfaction. The need for something more. Not more food, but more taste. Does that make sense?
Through spark I've been realizing that one of my biggest weaknesses is when I have something sweet and something salty at the same time...then it becomes a never ending cycle as I go back and forth between the two! I love the differences between the sweet and savory.
As I've become more conscious of my eating habits and food, I also realized that I always make sure that my last bite is a delicious one. Whether that means saving the juiciest bite of chicken or making sure I have enough sauce for my last bite of pasta, the last bite I eat has to be the best, otherwise I feel unsatisfied.
So I'm learning more about myself--it's not about eating to feel full, I eat because I like flavors. I enjoy tastes, and if I really like the flavor of something, I'll continue to eat it just to experience it one more time. and then just one more time. last time, I promise. okay really now, I'm done. Ok I'm done, I'm done-- please take the plate away from me!
Have you guys ever felt the same? With a chef for a dad and a mom who cooked Chinese food with the best of them, I grew up with great flavors every night, and grew up with an appreciation for food. But now I'm realizing that this world is just too tasty for my own good! Now my challenge is to figure out how to be satisfied with flavor in only a few bites, instead of wanting juuust one more. Thankfully I've been finding better veggies that I LOVE and that taste wonderful (kale and swiss chard!) so maybe I just need to eat less meat and more tasty veggies. hmm.
Mantra: Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels.
The question is--Do I believe that?
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
Officially I joined SP Jan 17th of 2011, but I didn't start sparking until Feb 1st, so here's to ONE YEAR! I definitely disappeared for a few months, particularly around the holidays-ish until now, and I've had a few fake comebacks that I'm not proud of, but I'm very hopeful this time! Here's why:
1. Nothing happens without Spark! The combination of awesome people, wonderful inspiration from blogs and you guys, and tracking food and exercise...there's nothing like it! And I am SO much healthier than I was a year ago! I still have a long way to go though, I'm not totally satisfied yet.
2. I just got a gym buddy here! At least for a couple days out of the week. (and possibly 2 more gym buddies too!)
3. There's a lot of outdoor activities that I haven't taken full advantage of here in Hawaii--snorkeling, swimming, hiking, kayaking, etc. And I can't wait to do them!
4. I gained 7 pounds since moving here only 6months ago. I was 3 pounds away from my halfway mark, and then I just stopped tracking after I moved. So now I'm 10 pounds away from my halfway goal, and I haven't worked out since the end of November.
5. And last small motivation--my old roommate is getting married this summer! I'm not in the wedding, but I would love to go back home to Chicago with a healthier (yes, slimmer) version of me.
Sooooo I'm back! And I'm so proud and inspired by you guys who have been sparking and getting healthy! I'm seriously so impressed.
It's been an interesting year looking back on it all...the first six months were the easiest, and these last six have not been so good. But overall I lost 25 pounds last year (all in the first half of the year), and I'm looking forward to the next 25. No--more than 25!!!
I can do this.
For myself, my health, my happiness, and my life. I want this. I WANT THIS. I'M GONNA DO THIS. I WILL DO THIS. Welcome to my 2nd year of SP 2012.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
it has been too long. thanks so much for those of you who checked in on me (and friended me!) while I was MIA!! You are the reason spark is so amazing!!
At first, in August, I made excuses because I had just moved, was organizing life, trying to meet people, getting used to being in school again, and getting used to living at home with my dad after being an independent adult.
But now...4 months later, there's no excuse!! I've finally settled, made my friends, AM DONE WITH FIRST SEMESTER and I'm still where I started when I moved here!
I just went to the dr.'s office yesterday, and officially weigh in at 195. The last time I was in the dr's office was June 20th, officially 6mo ago, and I weighed in at 193. I'm 2 pounds heavier than 6 months ago, and I should be down 30 pounds! ahh!! I checked the weight tracker, and I should be 40 pounds down & at my goal weight by now according to that little red line :(
I can't believe how much time I've lost!! I'm definitely happy that I haven't gained more than 2 pounds, but I'm sad that I squandered all that time. I started this journey in Feb, and by June had lost 27 pounds. Since June I worked out consistently up until around November (go figure...), but since August I made good decisions about what I ate, but I haven't really cared how MUCH I ate.
Goodness! Okay, I have 2 months before my 1 year sparkiversary--so I AM BACK WITH A VENGEANCE!!! I need to get back into the daily habit of tracking and exercising...I let myself slip and stop exercising as much the past 1.5 months. (hence no fitness awards! :((( )
Commitment. Daily commitment. Because I'm worth it. I WILL see a change in that scale by February 15th. that's a promise to myself.
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
I am in a rut. Pretty much have been since I moved! I've been working out consistantly and varying it up between swimming and working out at the gym, but my eating habits suck! And I can't wrap my mind around why I keep making poor decisions. It's not like I'm eating pizza and fried chicken, but I eat more than I know I should!
I'm a big fan of how things taste, so if I have something that tastes good, I'll keep eating it even if I'm satisfied, because I enjoy the flavors. Any tips for how to cut back on the amount of food you eat??
On a sidenote, a friend shared a great blog with me entitled: Wanted: fat girl.
I highly recommend it!
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