Friday, July 25, 2008
Often in life we are besieged with forces and situations we don't enjoy. Usually life lessons that will pass and we grow from experiencing those regardless of their pleasure or pain elements.
Most of the time but especially during the times when life just feels rough, I try to capture moments of joy, and pleasure. I call those "Cameo Moments".
A Cameo Moment is the essence of a situation. It's that look you got that made your heart jump. The visual elements of any lovely experience encapsulated in one small photograph tucked way for you to revisit at any time you need.
One of many such moments was when I was a young bride. We had just moved into a new place in a small country town about 20 miles from where I was raised. I’m not sure why, but it seemed the major appliances kept breaking down. I’d had two washers in the last two years of our new marriage. It was frustrating. We’d just purchased our third washer. I watched that thing like a hawk. If it was going to break down, I was going to catch this one before the warranty ran out; you can bet your bottom dollar on that!
One morning after washing my clothes, I took them out and threw them in the dryer. When I was getting the last hand full out of the washer I remember hearing a small “clink” inside the tub, so peering back inside I was shocked to see a wire! Oh crud! Another washer! I was so angry. What next?! I located the manual to the washer and inside was a 1-800 number (1-800- BIG-JOKE). So I called the number and of course it was Saturday and no one was available to speak to me. I had to wait for two whole days before I could call! Running to my paperwork I found the receipt of purchase on this new washer. It would run out! Boy, talk about cutting it close… Now, not only am I angry, but also I am frustrated, and feeling hopeless about getting help with my warranty before it expires.
By now, having tried to deal with it rationally and sensibly alone, I call my husband, who’s at work. I went into every smallest detail about how it happened, described the little wire to him and where it was found, and what I tried to do for assistance. He assured me that everything would be all right and he’d look at the washer when he got home… By lunchtime I still feel the need to rant and rave a bit, so I call my friend Sandi, on the phone and tell her every little detail of my aggravating morning. She’s so sympathetic and understanding with this, for she’s not been married long herself. Finally by the end of the day, I think I’d told just about ever person I know in the free world about my plight! Boy, talk about misery loving company…
My husband got home and Sunday morning he was out in the washroom with the washer pulled out away from the wall and examining all the working components. He could find nothing wrong with it. It cycled, it didn’t rattle it didn’t do anything wrong. He examined the “U” shaped color coded wire and sure-nuff’ it looked like it belonged inside the motor or some other moving part of the washer. Surely it worked free of the drum somewhere and ended up lodged inside the washer tub! Well, he said, “We’ll have to wait on the repair man to get here. Did you put in your call?” “Yes, they said, someone would return my call Monday morning”. “Well Hon, that’s not far off now; let them do what they can because this is way beyond me”. I knew he’d tried his best and there was nothing else I could do to save my washer or my warranty.
Finally I settled into the resolve that my problem wasn’t fixable and I was pouting. Oh well, may as well fold those dang clothes. God knows it might be my last load with that stupid washer!
Finding an old rerun of some show, I fussed and fumed mentally as I folded the clothes; where upon I found another WIRE! I came unglued yelling for my husband. I jumped up and ran for him. He and I came back where I showed him this new suspicious wire. Only this time I picked it up to show him… and it was still sticking half way out of my Under Wire Bra…
Mystery solved… Washer saved… Me embarrassed- where I have to call back everyone I called…
What is my cameo moment here? Ah! Every time I see a “U” shaped color-coded wire or an under wire bra, I remember the face I made, and the feeling I had. That’s some “Cameo Moment” trust me. It always causes me to laugh, and I’ve retold this story so many times to so many people, they all crack up… Life has a way of reminding you to Laugh! Just Laugh…
Is this the only type of Cameo Moments? Nope… I’ve been collecting them all my life. Inside there is an image from the face of my Dad when he went shrimping on the river. My brother before he blew up the trashcan, Mom when she’d cut a fart in line at the check out counter, My husband when our second child was born… and many, many, many more. Faces of my family and friends in the potent times of life all Cameo Moments. All saved so I can revisit them and love each one again.
Here’s wishing you many lovely cameo moments…
Love to you guys,
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Well, I'm very close to the Six Months In mark. I'm sitting here this morning thinking how different I feel, and how much more alive I have begun to feel inside.
On things that are different, body wise...
I can almost cross my legs again like a normal person does-
See my toes looking straight down-
Found bones I forgot existed-
Paint my own toenails-
Sleep without feeling like I'm smothering-
I don't have to position my fat to get comfy-
My Hips don't hurt as bad-
Squatting is much easier, and I don't turn Beet Red-
When I get down on the floor, I can get up much faster-
Getting out of the tub is a lot easier, and I actually fit!
I can get clothes out of the washer without a step stool,
(or turning sideways).
Fit behind my steering wheel without jacking it in the UP position-
I'm off Nexium for the acid reflux problem, not needed it-
That's not an exhaustive list, but it is part of the changes that are happening. Another list would include things of personal nature associated with my behavior, feelings, dreams, and aspirations, but I keep those to myself for now.
I have a friend who's also overweight. Working on her to get her to join me in SP has been a full time mission. She knows about the site (oh because I've sent it to her 100+ times and keep talking about it), but she always makes excuses and says, stuff like, "Oh I can't live life keeping track of everything I eat for the rest of my life! - I just can't live that way!" Blah blah blah blah...
I love this lady like my own flesh and blood. She's amazing! She's the sister I never had. She's also over one hundred pounds over weight and miserable. I want her so badly to get healthy and she does try, and try and try. She's not lazy or unmotivated. It's just the whole "logging in food daily" she cringes at (Honestly I did too and still do sometimes).
She says, "Look I am Carbohydrate intolerant, and have to omit them to loose weight" (Old Atkins Diet Hold over). My reply to her is usually the same. Look, I lost weight on Atkins too, but I gained it all back! We can't live on Atkins our whole life either!... Our bodies aren't designed that way. We need CARBOHYDRATES TO EXIST!
(mumble mumble - blab blab - yada yada) - It goes in one ear and out the other. Sigh...
I suppose when I have lost a ton of weight she'll finally get the drift that I am serious, committed to a new life style and successful at it. Perhaps then she'll come join me here. You guys would love her!
Hum... OK that's off my chest and now this morning when we talk (We have talked almost every day for 14 years!) I won't beat my little drum and Pl$$ her off again :)
Well, I'm done babbling for now. Need to get some work done here...
Sending you guys big hugs and thanks for being the lovely people you are.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Hi Guys :)
I'll fine. I'm just not feeling up to par. Taking the weekend off to rest and stuff.
Will be back in the saddle Monday afternoon :)
Saturday, July 19, 2008
I woke up this morning remembering a seminar I taught at once. Sort and sweet really. But, my part of the gig was about a 20 minute lecture, and was to be the motivational coach for the day.
That week and until even the night before, I pondered, thought, and mulled over every thing which might motivate folks. Nothing really moved me that came up, so I waited for that nudge I knew would come which would most benefit.
My note pad was all scribbled over and on the table were several other attempts to build a lecturette. Looking over the mass chaos on my desktop one theme came to me so strong... It became the class for the day, for the all had a central theme.
Finally entitled the piece - Obstacles and What's in your way?
Bear in mind during this story, I'm a very outlandish visual person. If I can bring a point home by looking like an idiot, I will do it. Shyness has never been a problem for me. Other stuff.. Oh yeah.. Shy? Nope...
So, imagine 100+ women all sitting in an big conference hall. It's loud and women are buzzing with their talking. You hear laughter in various tones wafting over the heads of the attendees. When down the center walkway leading to the podium area comes a woman with 30 or so balloons all blown up and fixed to her dress. She waddled in like nothing was wrong, smiled talked to a few and ignored the balloons so obvious to everyone else. She even had problems ascending the stairs to the podium area. When she stood up she couldn't even get close enough to the stand to grab her notes. (It was funny) Ladies were muffling laughter all over the place. The speaker stepped out from behind the podium, stood in front of us, then with a huge hat pin popped the balloons on her front. Then she could reach her notes on the stand. She never cracked a smile, but took care of the balloons in the way then went onto her business.
Grabbing the notes she said, I've entitled the class this morning,
"Obstacles and What's in your way?"
The house got quiet, the laughter stopped and then we all learned about how "things" get in the way of what we want in life. As each topic of obstacle was covered, one by one for 20 minutes, each balloon got a resounding "POP" whereby all in the hall jerked or jolted into reality of what might be in their way.
If we had a balloon tied on us for each "thing" stopping us from what we really want in life, as a symbol of whats in your way, how many would be tied on you?
In 11/5/2006 I joined SparkPeople and began my self-analysis, looking at what was in my way to the places I wished to go or be in life. Most were bad attitudes, and habits. I could take care of those. So, one by one, my mental hat pin has been popping balloons of obstacles.
Is it hard being on the cutting table? Oh yeck yeah... But, if you want change bad enough, you will do what it takes to get there. You'll take your "hat pin" and begin to Pop the Obstacles in the way between you and your desires. One by one with persistence they will leave.
We are fearfully and wonderfully created... We are the children of our creator, and one day this walk will make a lot more sense.
Bless you all in your journey,
Friday, July 18, 2008
I had a dream last night... I was in my Turquoise dress again. Oh you know, "That Dress" which is that dress you kept in the closet and won't throw out. It's the image of what you want to look like publicly.
I remember buttoning the buttons, slipping on my shoes and looking fabulous. The sense of that fitting was aaaaaaaaaaamazing!~~ I'm going to hold onto that visual and keep moving toward that vision. It's actually a "DREAM" I have in reality. I've wanted to fit back in that dress so badly for so long. I'm going to get there! I will!
Right now I'm 206. That was the last weigh-in at the doctors office Monday. I don't trust any other scales really. I do mine and until MY SCALES say 206 I wont post it as a pound gone. I want to see the numbers under 200 so bad. It also keeps me doing what I am doing.
Do I have bad days? Oh yeah... really bad. At least mentally. I get blue, down, unhappy, bored, lonely, sad, disconnected, but... What I have noticed is that those feelings have less and less of a grip on me! Why?.... Could it be that the dependency to bad habits perpetuated the emotional roller coaster I was on? Well, I'll be!
Being out of control in your world will birth bad emotion. It will blow up in your face, in one form or another. For me, its food. I had no commitment to change so I ate what I wanted, when I wanted and choose to nurture all the bad habits I had built. After a while those bad habits just "become You"... You feel that giving up those habits and "pleasure" would be such a sacrifice that you can't enjoy life! What a bunch of crap that is.. Who enjoys the hell of bad emotions? I sure didn't like it. BUT, was I ready to change and get off of that perpetual roller coaster ride? Was I ready to take back my life and put it on a track that was better? Humm.... we all have to answer those questions. And sometimes daily or moment by moment. And it's alright... This isn't easy.
So, back to my dream... Why is it so easy to buy into negative images about ourselves? I've actually tried to figure that one out. We see faults more than we see success? Well, I'm sure that's part of it. Dreaming is part of the life here.. We have to have dreams to keep moving forward. Fault finding in ourselves (and others) is a sure indicator that we have quit dreaming and life is stagnant.
What are your dreams? What do you want for yourself? Are you willing to do what it will take to get there? .... OK now, make a list of what you want. It doesn't have to be a big list. One of my dreams (goals) was to be able to paint my toenails again and be able to breathe! I can now.... Bit by bit, inch by inch we get there; pressing toward the marks placed in our walk.
I think we can do this. We can get healthy, make better lives for ourselves, and be the kind of healthy happy people we were meant to be here.
Hugs and Best wishes for seeing us reach our goals :o)
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