Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I feel like there is a special place in hell for people who warm up Krystal Burgers in the house when I'm starving and haven't eaten dinner yet. It's the same hell that the people who eat Chips and Dip at 9'Oclock at night go. It's owned by the NABISCO/OREO franchise and my husband is the manager... See him for your corner.
Yes, I know I can't change the dude, and I love him to pieces but good lord, he can be so frustrating.
This man has no concept of dieting or eating properly. Then I realized when I was thinking this, my reality isn't his. His head isn't even wired like mine. He's never been over weight, period. It's just an alien concept to his widdle noggin.
Finally I explained to him that while I don't expect him to change his habits of munching for 3 hours after dinner, he'll need to do it away from me. It's just plain torture for him to munch a bag of chips (which I avoid like the plague), in a time where my stomach is empty and could snarf up the whole bag in short order. Each crunch sounds like music (grin). Then I'm resolved to go find an apple or other acceptable thing to fill the empty spot. Just ain't the same. Ya know what I mean???
We're blessed to have two separate living/den rooms with TVs. I call his the man cave. So, he's agreed to go munch his way through the Dorito Bag in that room. Now, if we can solve the battle of the TV volume, we're going to make it...
All that griping aside, He's a great guy. He just doesn't understand where I'm at right now and I'm trying to share it with him and not do it, "beet faced yelling".
He's catching on. And he is so much more supportive than he use to be. He knows I really want to get off some weight to feel physically well. Not to win some beauty award or praise of others. I just want to FEEL GOOD again and not die a slow painful death within a coat of fat.
OK.... I'm done venting and I'll always VENT so get use to it.
And if any man is out there reading this and you do that to your wife.. Remember that special Hell. }:-)
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
I had an "Ah Ha" moment...
Looking at the show "Ruby" I felt like I knew her... I was her. Every tear struggle and battle she'd fought, I fought. Watching her take off so much weight made me feel like such a putz for not keeping up my good effort.
If Ruby can do it.. I can too. Shut up ... Get UP and Do it.
Thank You Ruby.. I love you :)
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Ever Lose Hope? Oh .. I did. Tail Spins happen and it happened to me (again).
While sick I lost hope that I'd feel better ever, not need injections, and stop taking a bunch of pills. I was doing so well too... I lost focus after I went back to work writing and doing other things. Along with tailspins, which I'm good at; evidently I'm not good at Juggling...
So, I'm starting over again! Honestly I began the 1st of June to get my mind and body back in gear. My one effort in doing this whole thing is to FEEL BETTER! ... It's been a really busy year (so far), then one in which I've battled being very sick.
I've lost 10 pounds and feel committed to continuing, but my focus now isn't "Hey when will this crap be over with"? It's that I FEEL GOOD period.
With Arthritis, carrying around extra weight isn't good and I'm determined to get off the weight that has plagued me. And I can't remember exactly when I began hearing about weight loss but I do know I remember dieting when I was in 3rd grade.... Third Grade! Yep, it's time to get off this ride.
Really I need to adapt once I take off weight. I really suck at maintenance. When I get to where I want to be then the challenge comes in keeping it off. The reason is simple. Tactics for taking off weight are different than maintaining. When you finally get committed to weigh loss you hit his "high" where such a resolution feels so strong and it will stay strong if you nourish it and work with it. Now... After the battle is over and the Armour comes off, it's NAKED time and you are defenseless. Yes, what you have learned is awesome but it's geared more for taking off weight.
Here on this side of the journey you learn again how to manage FOOD where before you avoided certain things or just didn't eat them at all. Keeping on top of the whole
juggling thing is where I fall short. After I get off the weight loss Energy Journey I feel bewildered without that momentum and drive pushing me on.
It's sort of hard to explain what I mean, but I know... I don't want to fall flat again and gain back 100 pounds. I really don't.
OK... Back in the saddle :)
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Real Life On a Journey...
Ya know, what derailed me in years past was my inability to cope with real life challenges and manage my weight. I had begun viewing my success as a person relevant to how much I weighed (I know I'm not alone here). When I'd gain a few pounds instead of knuckling down and getting myself back in control, I'd just get depressed and bleak and eat my way up to another few pounds... I did try to rally a few times, but got frustrated because I didn't know how to manage this very well. I'd quit and go back to my old eating habits. So a battle of gain... fight to lose it back... over and over and over and over kept biting me in the rump.
Living in the real world where real food existed and where I had to resist was my moot point...
So, after losing 98 pounds on WW I slowly gained it all back and then some.
This time, what I really wanted to accomplish was to be in the same situation and not fall backward into old habits. We still have to function in a world where we are out shopping, starving and have to feed ourselves. Often times the situations aren't conducive to "clean eating" (healthy good for you food). Honestly no matter how hard one tries to find "clean food", it's almost defeating in some areas to find. Oh! That's unless you pack your own salad dressings, and eat veggies (oh scrumptious).
Sorry that's not living in a real world either... That would work only partly. I've tried successfully a few times. How much salad can one really eat??? (cough)...
My ideal MC Donalds would have a 98% Fat Free grilled meat section with steamed veggies to go and a nice fruit compote sweetened with spenda and poured over a .25 c baking mix dumpling (170 calories for the desert). How about that for a FAT make over McDonalds???? Those folks are going to go broke unless they get with the program and lean up their quinine (grin).
Oh crud, I got off track! OK, back to the main idea here..... REAL LIFE!
So, I lost 35 pounds... then the wonderful Holidays hit and I made a deal with myself that FIVE pounds was permissible as long as I got back with the program and lost it after the Christmas Fruitcake was gone. (Remember it is real life and fruitcake does exist as well as cookies, cake and gummy bears....) Resisting all the yummy things in life is possible yes, but are we happy doing that 100% all the time? HECK NO! But, we'd not admit it. Would we?
I've been trying to manage that weight loss and still live a life of control and maintenance. I've done pretty well, but not"awesome". Sort of like riding a bike, you just have to fall a few times and get back on.
I gained 8 pounds total over the holidays and it's been a bear to get off! Mostly because I started working again and began taking some classes right after the holidays. So, my environment changes and how I deal with "the real world" (TRW) had to alter as well. New environments and new habits in life also change how you manage weight loss.
Right now I'm trying to learn how to eat and stay under 200 lbs. I think I about have that down. I know what to do to live here now at 196.
What my objective is - Learning how to maintain at 170.
Will I go want to keep going afterward? ... I don't know. Not likely though.
Anyhow, I did want to catch you guys up with what's going on...
I still love you guys and have really needed the support and care shown through the last 10 months. Thank you sssssssssssssssssssssso much!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Well, I'm out of the Christmas Fog now. I've been back on the wagon for a week now and have lost 4.5 pounds of the 8 I packed on. 5 pounds was fine but eight no... but, I blew that.
As long as I stay my rump home I'm alright. Eating out is my downfall. I will eat out occasionally but it's very limited now. No more baking..(sigh). I will again one day, but for now it's "Back in the Saddle Again".....
A bunch is going on right now. Recently I was hired to do promotions for a company and that includes Radio, Magazines, Billboards..... The list goes on. So on top of learning new things, I'm having to refresh a lot of dormant stuff I've not had to take out for a long time.
This is why I have not been very visible and to myself. I'm just very focused on tasks at hand, that's all. Juggling isn't my strong point, but I'm trying.
Soooooooooooooooooo... for now, I'll post this and know that I'm still working on the goals and have not put down the desires nor the work I began 10 months ago.
Peace to you Goonies,
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