Thursday, October 23, 2008
I wonder sometimes why we are always in such a hurry? Then when we get to where we were headed we just pause and look around sort of puzzled and say, "OK now why did I come here?".... Ever do that? You know, walk into a room and just stand there wondering why you walked all that way, because you forgot what you were going after? It happens to me often...
Life can be such a distraction and along the way our purpose gets foggy. Our goals get foggy. We just forget what we want...
So, that's my line of thought this morning. Reassessing what "I" want for myself.
One of the things weight wise I want is to actually learn something about how to maintain weight loss. I've talked about this before but it's a place I'm at right now so I'm trying to actually learn from this point in my experience. I've lost 35 pounds and would like to know how to keep my body as is, without putting it back on. Playing with that threshold is like walking a tight rope. I find days I say - OOPS!... I ate too much this week!... OK back on track. What do I need to do differently?... Keep it at 1300? 1400? 1500?... Um.. eat less carbs and more protein? Drink more water? Get more exercise? ..... It's really just a total juggling act.
So far it's working pretty well. One pound keeps bouncing up and down, so I think what I've learned is my body doesn't tolerate a lot of carbohydrates. Well I know that's not rocket science but I know how much now it can handle and what types of foods send my blood sugar through the roof and make me feel sluggish and useless.
I never learned those things last time I lost weight.
My particular body needs less fruit, less carbs, and more protein.
Now, not all fruit but, certain kinds mess me up... During peach season I don't lose weight! LOL I love peaches... (grin). But, the natural sugar content just shoots my system with too much insulin and my body won't lose weight, when that happens.
So, I learned not to eat so many peaches... Also watermelon does it to me. Apples not so... and oranges don't bother me either.. OK so these are simple things but, things I have learned about my system.
Also... I need more protein daily than some people might. So I boost that up and reduce the carbs.
Ah I also learned not to wait so long to try on old clothes which "did fit"... One sweater I really loved and wanted to wear again is now too large! Gez... I should have tried that one on earlier than I did. :)
OK, so I'm tired typing now... Things are good. and as ever I'm sending you guys hugs
Monday, October 06, 2008
I have 100 and 1 things to say here.. really. However the entry I began is looking more like a chapter to a book... God help me. I really don't want to post all that here. Most would leave before they even got to the reason I was writing it in the first place. So, I'll skip the other stuff and just type out this...
Take time to love you... Why?
Well, you are here on this planet and in the flesh... You may as well figure out a way to be happy. Being happy is only really possible when you love yourself.
That sound so simple doesn't it? OH we know inside it's not so easy.
It's likely one of the hardest things we do. Daily and moment by moment we are barrage with all manner of negative self-doubting talk. It's playing in the back of our heads every second of every day.
(Unless you are me and you hear the music, "Iron Man")... :)
I'm not sure how you personally can LOVE You more. Each one has to find their own place of peace while they are here on planet earth (the insane assailum of the universe). For me it's recognizing the negative in the first place and begin to replace those spots with positive input.
"You will fail, you always do..."
- "I'm learning how not to fail this time"
" You are kidding yourself here - Who do you think you are?"
- " I am a child of my god, with the birthright of a king, and I am learning daily how to be stronger and stronger - moment by moment"
"You will never live a normal life....."
- " I am living a life I chose, and I will do a good work and be happy"
Amazing the crud that plays in the background if we ''Que'' into it huh? We all have a story line...
No matter what is playing in your "noise", you can overcome it. Just listen to it, and then replay it to yourself in a positive light.. Reprogram those parts of your head with a Positive Visual and Positive Audio. Then move on... When it tries to replay the old line, recall the one you just created. It will take a little practice, but we can untie the bonds of negative self talk and free our minds of self-doubt.
I love you guys a bunch -
Thursday, September 18, 2008
What people will do to lose weight is sort of scary. I am no different.
In 1980, with my weight ever increasing and being the tender age of 23 I felt my life was doomed to be one filled with Fat Clothes and Plus size everything. I was desperate to be smaller and live a normal life.
I walked into the Doctors office and felt horrible about myself. I would have sacrificed a kidney at this point in my life. I'd just given birth to our first daughter. I'd gained 50 pounds and after my daughter was born I still had 30 pounds of weight left over. So the dramatic total was now 250 pounds. I'd never been so large... or so scared.
Do what to myself? Sure... where do I sign?
I was this passive about cutting myself up into pieces so I could lose weight. Never hearing warnings, never thinking something might go wrong... This was my bright and shining moment of freedom. I no longer cared about anything else except this. I could go into a long lengthy description but to save time, just suffice it to say any surgery comes with a warning pamphlet and I heard about .01 of it as I read.
There are so many new bariatric surgeries now. Twenty-Eight years ago there was one, which was the "golden child" of bariatric surgeries, Jejunal-ileal bypass. In June of 1980 this is what I had done.
Within six months, body lost down too 180 pounds, but I had constant diarrhea and couldn’t leave without knowing I could find a potty any time I needed one. This pretty much was a constant in my life for a year. I lost down too 138. Then got pregnant… After so long being heavy I wasn’t about to let being pregnant derail my new body. So along with the whole pregnancy thing I dieted. When my second daughter was born I was even smaller than my 138. I weighed in at 134 after all was said and done. Something happened though… I began to gain weight shortly after that. I don’t even remember why. It’s been too long and the details are a bit dim.
I do remember my doctor saying during the consultation, that depending on how fast a body tries to repair the surgery procedure the faster the weigh loss would stop working. – One of the quirks of this type of surgery is that the small intestine will begin to thicken up to compensate for the now by-passed segment. So, in fact the body will gather nourishment any way it can and intestines do this. It was one of the oddities.
My grace time to get control of my eating habits was over… Did he actually say I’d have to change my eating habits? … Well, I vaguely remember something like that...Very vague.
Slowly my body was trying to regain weight… At 190 pounds I was back at desperation mode. I could not do this… I began to diet with a vengeance, but was having very minimal success. I’d lose down too 170 then begin to creep back up…
Finally I ended up at Weight Watchers at 218 pounds. I really remember that number because of how frustrated I was at that time. It took me about a year and a half to lose but I did get down too 126. When I got to goal weight I started working with WW international and became a TV spokesperson for the company. Eventually I did guest appearances and all that jazz. You’d think I could stay with the program and not gain the weight back huh? Not so… Slowly it began again to creep back on. Sure I fought back and tried to “diet” and had some success, but I just lost the spark the inspiration to keep trying. So much was going on at this time of my life and I’ll spare you those details, but it was a bad time. I felt I needed to eat for comfort. So, I did… It was my medicine.
Twelve years later…. Enter SparkPeople. Here I am doing my best to change from the inside out and along the way reassign that left over padding I acquired in the years I felt I needed to console myself with food.
I know I have the skills to lose weight. Heavens knows I should after my long history of working at this project. Coupled with those skills and Spark People, I think I can do this. But this time keep it off. Oh I get tired yes! I want to give up sometimes, YES! But, I already know the outcome because of the issues I just typed out. I will stay focused on a new future and a new Me. One where the pressure and the situations of the past will not pull me down and cause me to react in the same ways. And yes, I am an ongoing project…
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Remember the song? I love Cher.... She's timeless.
With resolve to keep healthy and keep moving forward, life is different. Fattening foods, I once loved, I don't really enjoy as much. My taste buds are even being reprogrammed. Portions are being adjusted and so is the size of my tummy. LOL It's weird. When I want to be intentionally bad and eat a large meal my stomach almost gets sick. Just too much food inside it's newly acquired size (They do shrink you know). What was the size of softball is now about the size of a baseball. Sure it will stretch out but I can feel it now and I don't like the way that sensation makes me feel. Recognizing now when I'm FULL is way easier than it once was.
So for me "The Beat Goes On"... Still doing what I know to do and getting even better at it. Am I losing weight? Nope. I do feel good most of the time though, so that's one trade off that is worth keeping.
It would be discouraging to look at numbers on the scales saying the same thing over and over again. So, I decided about a week ago to just stop weighing myself except once a month. So, I'll weigh again at the end of September.
Today I see the Rheumatologist and I can finally get off of the prednisone, which tends to keep weight on people or cause weight gain. The fact I've lost 30 pounds while on it is astounding and one I'm very proud of. Perhaps with that medication gone I can begin to take off a few pounds again.
Well, that's my update on what's happening with Mino... Not a lot of exciting stuff huh? LOL nope... but, I'm good. :)
Hugs to you all,
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