Monday, February 01, 2010
A new month is upon us. Again. And yet again I need to confront the fact that the previous month came and went without any weight loss. It's difficult to acknowledge this. I worked out 5-6 days a week. I ate okay, but not great. And the scale didn't budge. Despite being disappointed, I do need to take comfort in knowing that this is the level of exercise I need to do to maintain a weight. I can do that, I really can. So I'm not too worried about gaining the weight back.
But first I really want to get to my target weight of 65 kilos. 11 more kilos left to lose, in other words.
So what are my goals for February? Quite modest, I think.
* I want to lose 2 kilos.
* I want to lose 1 centimeter around my waist and 1 around my hips.
* I want to finish the Insanity program and start either P90X or Chalean X.
* I want to burn a minimum of 3500 calories a week.
* I want to get my hip looked at by a doctor and hopefully I'll be back to running by the end of the month or next month.
There they are, all possible to achieve.
I took photos before and in the middle of the Insanity program and plan to take pics once I'm done, hopefully in the next two weeks. I am curious to compare them and see for myself what has happened since I started the program back in October. I will post them here, of course. :)
Thursday, January 07, 2010
It's taken me a long time to get to this halfway point in the Insanity program. First because I was mainly running and using the workouts as a complement a few times a week, but then because I had injuries and had to wait for the pain to subside.
The past two weeks I've been doing the Insanity workouts diligently and it seems to have paid off, because today's Fit Test went really well!
Switch kicks 80/100/120 +20
Power jacks 40/45/54 +9
Power knees 75/85/96 +11
Power jumps 26/30/38 +8
Globe jumps 9/10/12 +2
Suicide jumps 13/16/18 +2
Push-up jacks 18/22/24 +2
Low plank obliques 34/43/60 +17
The push-up jacks were a killer, I have tendonitis in the left shoulder and push-ups are difficult to do then. Still, tried my hardest and even those were improved! Yay me! But I'm most proud of the low plank obliques: +17!!! Wow.
On to the second month of workouts! It's going to be so much fun!
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Wow. That's all I really know to say right now. WOW. It's a new month, a new year and I have no idea how it slipped by me.
The new year is almost a week old. In the past week I've had the opportunity to reflect on a few things.
1. I hate New Year's resolutions. I remember how I would solemnly swear to myself to do something, achieve something, be something - to make THIS year different from the last. And it would never last. I never lost those kilos just because a new year had started. I never felt better about myself just because I had made a resolution to do so. It doesn't work like that, or at any rate I don't work like that.
2. Because I am not making a new year's resolution - because I am not starting anything new just because it is January 1st - I have given myself a break from the pressure that always used to haunt me, make me miserable, make me think of myself as a failure. And it feels pretty damn good.
3. Another thing I have come to realize is that I am finally doing something I feel so proud of. I don't know if I've ever felt that before. My instinct is to belittle whatever it is I do or have achieved. I don't ever think that I have done things well enough, or quickly enough or shown enough intelligence, resolve, or strength. When I ran a half marathon I berated myself for not managing to finish 2 minutes faster and thus achieving my goal. I couldn't be really happy about actually finishing the race. When I got my third university degree I wasn't proud of this achievement, because I didn't get the highest grade, no matter that I don't know many people who can say they actually have three degrees.
Getting back in shape after two ridiculously difficult pregnancies is something I finally feel proud of. It has been a long road and it's far from over. I am at the half-way mark, I guess. But I feel strong, healthy, energetic. I feel strong in the knowledge that this is something I can do - and do well - that the goal is within reach. That even if it takes a little longer than I first hoped, it is not a failure on my part. I will get there.
And I will feel good about myself while doing it, I finally feel that I am doing something well enough, that I am good enough. Who'd have thought I'd ever see this day? I have come a long way, indeed.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
I'm not a person who likes surprises. I like plans, I like making lists and checking them off as I go. I like a certain amount of predictability.
When things aren't going according to plan I am likely to feel stress, anxiety and sleeplessness.
I know all this and work hard to eliminate stress factors in my life. For the most part I do really well. We have no financial worries, we have so far avoided serious illnesses, and we have a home we like (while planning for bigger and better in the future when our savings reach a certain level - see; plans).
There is, however, something I feel I have very little control over. Something that worries me, and causes an emotional upheaval that threatens to send me to the fridge. I'm talking about injuries.
A few months ago I worried about my knee, it has been a problem for me for many years and the main reason I didn't run a marathon back in 2004. That's not what standing in my way this time. Out of the blue I got a hip pain that had me crying, wincing, and unable to run.
Not even the knee caused me to stop running, not ever. It stopped me from running a marathon, but there are other kinds of running and that's okay with me. But to not be able to run... it's killing me.
I tried again this Sunday, just a short, slow 6 k. For 35 minutes I felt okay (the hip was a little sore, but not painful), the last minute was agony. It was impossible to keep going.
What on earth is wrong?
I can do workout DVDs without a problem, I can do Jumping Jacks and lunges, squats and jogging in place. But I can't run.
This turn of events - so totally unexpected - has caused an upheaval in my life. Now I find that I can't sleep at night. I worry and I have anxiety attacks. I'm sitting here with a stupid plate of cookies and there aren't many left. If I don't get this sorted out, either on a physical level or in my head, then all the hard work I've put in, all the weight I've lost, will be in jeopardy.
I need to feel on top of this, that there is a way out, that this is manageable, treatable, not the end of my life as a runner.
I need a new plan.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
I know this is very late, but with the move and all, I haven't had time to think much about this.
November was a bad month for me. I didn't reach any of my goals, except for one - to do 2 Insanity workouts a week.
The whole family fell sick with the flu and I was out of commission for 6 days. This means that I didn't run the kilometres I had planned.
I also didn't manage to reach my time goal of 58 minutes for 10 K, nor my weight loss goal.
So, altogether quite disappointing. Onwards we go. A deep breath and refocusing.
December will be a challenging time for me. Not only am I alone with the kids, with no baby sitters, while my husband finishes his work in Rome. I am also injured, which I have complained enough about in my previous blog post and my status updates, so I won't bore anyone with more of that.
My goals for December will therefore look quite different.
* I am at 76 kilos right now. I want to reach 74 kilos this month.
* I plan to do workout DVDs, while being careful to not make the injury worse. I want to do 3 Insanity workouts and 2 30 Day Shred workouts a week.
* I want to survive Christmas without overeating.
Those are my goals for this month, what's left of it. Doable for sure, but then, that's what I thought about last months's goals as well...
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