Joining the "Starting Over Again" members

Monday, June 17, 2013

Here I go again. Picking myself up and getting back into the game. Eating has been out of control and exercising has been almost nonexistent. Pulled three ligaments in my left foot so haven't been doing my Walk Away The Pounds DVD's but I have been getting the barn chores done. I have arthritis in my hands so have to go see a Orthopedic doctor this month. Tried to do strength training but I can't grip the weights with my hands. Too much pain. SO!!! I can sit here and just don't exercise or I can do some leg lifts and other exercises that won't irritate my hands.
Time to stop the pity party and get back into life.

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Emotional week

Friday, June 14, 2013

This week has really been an emotional one for me. Saturday, I have to attend the funeral of a dear friend of over 30 years. His wife, who was my best friend, passed away last September. They were both wonderful people. On Monday, I sprained my ankle and now have to wear an ankle brace for awhile so no exercising like I use to do. Yesterday, our miniature mare lost her foal. She had 63 more days to go but I guess it just wasn't meant to be. She lost a foal last year too. We will not be breeding her again. It is too devastating for her and us. We still have one mare who is due in August and we are praying that all goes well with her.
Food has become my friend and I just don't know how to stop eating all the time. Emotions are sure playing havoc this week.

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Just can't get it together!!

Sunday, June 02, 2013

Last week I lost a dear friend of over 30 years pass away. He was the husband of my best friend, Molly, who passed away on 9/11/12 from brain cancer. I had introduced Dan and Molly and they were married for close to 20 years. Now I find myself wondering when my time will come to go to the Lord. A few months ago, my doctor informed me that I have the lungs of a 75 year old man due to my being around second hand smoke all my life. I am 61 years old. I was never a smoker. Recently, I am finding that I can not do heavy work like I use to without being out of breath. We own a miniature horse farm and we both work full time jobs. We have no help with the chores or the upkeep of the farm. Our children are all grown and have lives of their own plus they live over an hour away from us. My husband has emphysema but not too bad. He still drives truck and works 14 hours a day. He is not on oxygen but is on Spiriva. I am afraid that if I tell my doctor how I am feeling now, he will tell me I can't work or will put me on something to help me breathe. I am not ready for that yet mentally. There is so much I want to do but can't without being tired. Yesterday, I didn't have the motivation to do anything but did take care of the horses and our other animals. I want to feel energetic again. I know that my weight isn't helping any with me being at 224 pounds. I am struggling with food choices and just can't say no to food. I am becoming depressed because I know that I can make the right choices but at times I just binge and eat things I shouldn't. Need to get back on track but finding it very difficult to do so.

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Write The Letter

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

I'm gonna sit right down and write myself a letter and make believe it came from you How many of you remember that old song? Seems like centuries ago that it came out. On my way to work yesterday (an hour ride), this tune just popped into my head and it gave me an idea for this blog. Many years ago, I did write myself a letter when I was trying to decide what to do for a stressful and unhappy marriage I was in. One day, I took a pad of paper and a pen and wrote down all my feelings. The Pros and Cons of the situation.
Yesterday, I did the same thing. I wrote down the Pros of staying on my diet and exercising and then the Cons of stopping trying to lose weight.
Pros -- Wear smaller size clothes, be able to do more physical things, have good reports from the doctor, build my self esteem and look good.
Cons - Gaining more weight, joints aching even more, not wanting to do anything, having to buy larger clothes and not having any self esteem.
I then wrote this letter to myself:
Dear Georgann, What is more important to you? Sitting at the computer and playing games or being healthy? You know that you need to get up and move!! Just 15 minutes of Walk Away The Pounds and you know you feel good all day and are burning calories!! The people who design the games do not care if you are fat!! They care about getting you addicted to the games. Are you going to let them have that much hold on you? You control your life not them. Get up and get moving to a healthier life. (I did do 15 minutes of exercise). Signed Georgann

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I am very upset with myself

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Today has started off very frustrating. I couldn't find any pants to wear. All my size 22's are in the dryer and won't be dry for at least another 1/2 hour. I have to leave for work in 8 minutes. Searching through my drawers and closet, I found a pair of 20's that I could squeeze into but I will be uncomfortable all day long because they fight very tight in the waistband. The real part that makes me so upset is that I have 6 perfectly good pairs of size 18's that I can not fit into. I stepped on the scale and have lost 4 lbs this week but my inches aren't showing it. I know why this has all happened and I can only blame myself. I have not been eating right some of the time, not exercising (which would make a big difference) and not getting all my water in. It is MY fault and I am the only one who can do anything about it. Now on to a more positive day.

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