Monday, February 21, 2011
I am taking a week- not Go Wear Fit, no calorie counting- just eating smartly and getting in more miles. I need a week of building habit instead of counting, adding and subtracting. Numbers aren't doing it for me and I just need a shift in focus right now.
Today I had a great 8 mile long run. I wanted to do more but I want to run several longer runs this week to try to meet my mileage goal this month and I didn't want to burn my legs out.
3 of those 8 miles were with a friend who's just starting to run and is on the couch to 5k program. She's slender and frankly I enjoy running with her because not only is she great company- a really fun friend, but I really like supporting her through being frustrated with the struggle of the run, and yet, for me, running with her is soo easy! Running with her is a clear illustration of how far I've come- how strong I've become- and it feels so good. I can't wait to get her running races with me and to have a consistent running buddy who isn't running to punish themselves for gluttony like other running buddies I've had, but someone who really really loves the run!
Running has been so fun lately because I'm really starting to feel like a runner. I'm regularly running sub 10 pace and that's faster than I've been in a while. it feels good. I'm also hit that sweet spot with running where I actually prefer to run alone. I prefer quiet to music. I prefer outdoors to indoors- all of which take effort and a real enjoyment of that sensation of running. It takes a while to get there, but I know when I get there that I'm finally moving with out the crutches and it feels really good...
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Hua Chi, a Buddhist monk in China, takes his devotions very seriously. For the last two decades he has performed as many as 3,000 prayers every single day in the same exact spot at his temple. Part of me admires his profound commitment, while part of me is appalled at his insane addiction to habit. It's great that he loves his spiritual work so deeply, but sad that he can't bring more imagination and playfulness to his efforts. I bring this up, Taurus, because I think it's a good time, astrologically speaking, for you to take inventory of the good things you do very regularly. See if you can inject more fun and inventiveness into them.
bringing back the fun...
the last two weeks were a product of monotony. I was mentallly exhausted for a week- not caring anymore about the work I've been doinging even though I'm getting results- not lbs lost- but results otherwise. and then last weekI got sick. not horribly sick, just sick enough to make the thought of getting out of bed unbearable.
I need a more engaging routine. I'm going back to yoga tonight and I've started switching up my running routine. I'm running longer runs on tuesday and a long run on the weekend and filling in other days with easy and speed routines.
Part of me is thinking about taking my go wear fit off for a week too- knowing that I might pay more attention to the minutes worked out and that I might actually put more work in- if I am not measureing every calorie... its an idea I'm playing with.
I've prepacked my lunches for this whole week and its been great that I don't have to think about lunhc- I just grab it and go. It'll be a great habit to get into.
but i'm looking for ways to reinvigorate. ways to not be quite so obsessed/ stressed and yet not lose momentum. My days sick forced a few rest days and I think I have more ambition this week because of that, but still- I still feel a bit tired... tonight I'll do 40 min weights and then head to a 90 min intense yoga class. I know I'll be feeling great tonight :)
I keep bouncing between 165.5. and 166.5 - have been for weeks- and I need to break through, I really really really want to see 164 soon. (hence the more regimented diet.)
How do you break through a rut?
Friday, January 28, 2011
Because I was born on the cusp I feel I get to read the Gemini or Taurus horoscope and enjoy which ever one speaks to me. Heres the one I loved this week:
Taurus Horoscope for week of January 27, 2011
Sometimes I fly in my dreams. The ecstasy is almost unbearable as I soar high above the landscape. But there's something I enjoy dreaming about even more, and that's running. For years I've had recurring dreams of sprinting for sheer joy through green hills and meadows, often following rivers that go on forever. I'm never short of breath. My legs never get tired. I feel vital and vigorous and fulfilled. Does it seem odd that I prefer running to flying? I think I understand why. The flying dreams represent the part of me that longs to escape the bonds of earth, to be free of the suffering and chaos here. My running dreams, on the other hand, express the part of me that loves being in a body and exults in the challenges of this world. Given your astrological omens, Taurus, I think you're ready for whatever is your personal equivalent of running in your dreams.
I've been having them a lot lately. In fact last night as I was falling asleep I tried to induce one by visualizing myself running my first 15k in under 95 minutes- about a 10 min mile pace. I think I'll do that more often becuase visualization is supposed to be a powerful way to empower the subconsious into manifesting your goals. I don't know if there is any really strong proof out there for this, but on some levels it makes sense. at the very least it calmed my nerves last night and built my confidence and thats a pretty powerful result in and of itself right?
My arthritis has been bothering me lately and I'm not sure if its just the 10 inches of snow that fell in one day or the increased running, or combination of these and other factors, but worrying that my arthritis is coming back has gotten under my skin. for most of 2008 I couldn't walk with out sever pain- let alone run- and now that i'm running again the thought of that being taken away is scary.
My marathon - running it- finishing it- means so much to me because its so linked to conquoring these fears. Aaron- my husband- hasn't made that connection and I haven't been able to express to him that his dismissal of my running as crazy or not a big deal, and his disbelief that I could or should try to run the marathon stings. I've told him this but its not connecting for him. He may be trying to make it not a big deal on purpose- like it wouldn't me hurt so much if I couldn't do it because it wasn't a big deal right?
So after visualizing my 15k as I was falling asleep last night I dreamt about finishing the Mrathon. I could see the finish line and I was in so much pain. I realized I was crawling. I couldn't run anymore, couldn't walk anymore, but I was not about to stop, so Iw as crawling twards the finish line. I 'm tearing up a bit just remembering it. I was in alot of pain, but I was so stupidly happy! I was crying I was so happy. I wassmiling so big becuase I could actually see the finish line! The dream ended before I finished the race ( stupid alarm clock), but I woke up so proud that I wasn't giving up just because its hard.
So today I mapped out the next 8 weeks of training for the 15K and I'm getting pumped.
This is going to be an amazing year!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I haven't stopped thinking about a few quotes from this week’s horoscope from Rob Brenzy for Gemini:
"It will be good week to let your mind go utterly blank while slouching in front of TV and sipping warm milk, or to spend hours curled up in a ball under the covers on your bed as you berate yourself with guilty insults for the mistakes you've made in your life.
NOT! I'm kidding! Please don't you dare do anything like that.
It would be a terrible waste of the rowdy astrological omens that are coming to bear on you. Here are some better ideas: Go seek the fire on the mountain! Create a secret in the sanctuary! Learn a trick in the dark! Find a new emotion in the wilderness! Study the wisest, wildest people you know so that you, too, can be wildly wise! Push hard to get better, become smarter, grow your devotion to the truth, fuel your commitment to beauty, refine your emotional intelligence, hone your dreams, negotiate with your shadow, cure your ignorance, shed your pettiness, heighten your drive to look for the best in people, and soften your heart—even as you always accept yourself for exactly who you are with all of your so-called imperfections. "
Reading through this ( I'm not a horoscope nut, but I always enjoy reading this his horoscopes) there were a few phrases that continue to echo in my mind...
"Create a secret in the sanctuary!" and "Hone your dreams"
After a dear friend let me down *again* this week, (and this time, big time) I've been doing a lot of thinking about why I try to include others in my goals, why I try to inspire people before I inspire myself, and what kind of person I really need my friends to be.
I wonder at times that I try to include other people because I'm afraid of losing momentum. I'm afraid of failing and tying someone else into it makes me more accountable. But the problem always ends up that it’s exhausting to try to get others to care and when they don't, I get drug down into their lethargy.
So this year, with my goals, I'm really going to work on keeping my mouth shut and "Create a secret in the sanctuary!"
This will be mine. I can own this and I don't need to be anyone’s keeper except mine.
I will still of course share here- this community is so uplifting, but I'm not going to try to push friends and family into doing what they need to do. I'm sick of the conversations trying to get them to want a healthy body, to fuel it with real food, and to be inspired to just move their body more each day.
I can't pull them along when I need to focus on keeping my own ship afloat. And I'm already getting people comments on how I look like I've lost weight and questions on what I've been doing (my body is changing that much!) and I've been good about just mentioning that I'm training for a marathon.
It's kind of nice keeping the conversations at that because anytime they want to talk more about it, it becomes a conversation about how they can't do that or that’s so hard.. blah blah blah, and their excuses are so disheartening to me. So now, when I'm asked what I'm doing I'm just going to say " Common sense stuff- eating well and working out- it’s always that simple." and hopefully that will cull the onslaught of their excuses...
As for what kind of person I really need my friends to be, well, I'm realizing that I'm craving more friends who really chase their goals. People who hate lip service and aren’t' afraid of the work it takes to get anything worth getting.
To all my friends who aren't afraid to put up a good fight for their goals I'm sooo grateful you're in my life! You're amazing! Keep up the good work! And if you're surrounded by excuses lately too (it is about that time when New Year’s Resolutions start to fall flat) just create a secret in the sanctuary and know that you don't have to let their negativity dim the light you’re trying to create for yourself...
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