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Church Bulletin Announcement Jokes

Sunday, September 20, 2009

I was looking for some chuckles to post today and found the following for your reading pleasure.

Church Bulletin Announcement Jokes

1. Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.
2. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
5. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
7. Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
8. Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing, "Put me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.
9. Thursday at 5:00 P.M. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.
10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.
11. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
12. Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.
13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NOWELLE76 9/21/2009 1:56AM

    hehe some of those are kinda funny :) hope all is well.. missed your little library luncheon so I hope it went good. I like your background image of Sac.

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TNJGRAMMA 9/20/2009 11:57PM

    I loved it. I had to laugh out loud a couple of times. Thanks

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KO1215 9/20/2009 9:58PM

    Funny! Thanks for making me laugh today! emoticon

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AFIFE0878 9/20/2009 7:32PM

    Those were cute. Loved it.

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YomTeruah/Trumpets, Declaring 7th month & eating good food!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

My faith is an integral part of my life. And my spiritual fellowships lift me up greatly (often carrying me through the week). BUT, these fellowships almost always end with a delicous potluck, or oneg.

Yesterday afternoon's Shabbat fellowship in Roseville CA, was very special as some observed it as a special Holy/High Day: Yom Teruah, or the Feast of Trumpets (Lev. 23:24). In addition, one of the fellowship families is leaving Sacramento (a victim of our sluggish economy right now) and moving to Greely CO for new job so it was also a going away party.

YIKES! another party w/good food, wine & deserts. Yep, the fall Holy Days are here!! How am I going to loose 10 pounds by the end of the month and be around all this food. My first thought is I need to make something that I know tastes good and fits into my diet, nutrition & calorie goals. BINGO- I'll make the Cabbage Chicken Salad which we all enjoyed at the SacSparkles potluck last tuesday (see: http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-deta
il.asp?recipe=267766); so I'll know I have one selection I'm familiar with; plus two other selections I feel I can track easily on the nutrition spot; 1 glass 'special' beverage (ie. wine or sparkling cider); and just one slice of 'good-bye' cake, or pie. The other aspect of my plan was to drink at least 2 cups of water before eating & chewing very completely.

Guess what it worked!!!! And I don't think my friends had any idea what kind of head trip and food choice arguments were going on in my head! LOL!!!

Our fellowship and biblical discussion about YomTeruah/Feast of Trumpets & declaring the 7th month (by Hallel conjunction calendar or new moon crescent sighting) was very, very lively. I go into more about this on recent topic I posted on the Shabbat Keepers team site.

I really want to loose 10 pounds by October 1, so hang in there with me as I try to make it through all the good food, festivals and fellowship that accompany's this season.


Light Asian Cabbage Chicken Salad


6 Cups Shredded Cabbage
2 Cooked cubed Chicken Breast
1 Green Onion sliced
1 pkg. Ramen noodles
3 tbs Sliced Almonds
2 Tsp Sesame Seeds

1/3 Cups Sugar
3/4 tsp. Salt
1/2 tsp. black pepper
1/3 Cup Cider Vinegar
2 tbs Extra Light Olive Oil


Make Dressing* with sugar, salt, pepper, vinegar, and olive oil. Set Aside.

Combine cabbage, chicken, and onions. Toss. Crumble noodles. Discard seasoning. Add noodles, almonds and sesame seeds. Add dressing and toss.

Number of Servings: 5
Calories: 251.9/serving

*Note: I got lazy and substituted with 1/2 cup of Paul Newman's lite sesame ginger dressing.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SKEETER90 9/20/2009 6:08PM

    You did GREAT! You had a very reasonable plan, and you stuck to it. Thanks for posting that recipe - I must try that soon. Sounds very tasty!

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NATALIE_W 9/20/2009 5:43PM

    I'd wish you luck, but with such rilliant strategies as this, it's not really down to luck, is it?

I'll have to start getting myself sorted, it's the start of BBQ season here, which means lots of food and alcohol! But at least it also means lots of walks on the beach, swimming, and running around in the yard playing cricket.

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Walking at McKinley Park this morning

Sunday, September 20, 2009

I made it out to McKinley Park this morning (the current background pic on my SparkPage is of the rose garden at McKinley). It was lovely cool morning and not too busy for 8am; but probably because it was a Saturday. My left knee was giving me a little trouble on the walk, so I decided not to try another minute+ jog today. I figure it could use a rest day and some ice.

As many of you know I thoroughly enjoyed TUBBYHUBBY340 Friday, September 18, 2009 blog entitled: "Holy Caloric Intake Fatman!" If you can, be sure and take the time to read it.

Well, I've got to go clean up the kitchen.
Ciao for now.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NATALIE_W 9/20/2009 5:39PM

    Take care of that knee, you've only got 2!
That garden looks beautiful, how lucky to live to close to somewhere so lovely.

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AJDOVER1 9/20/2009 3:48PM

    Such a beautiful park!
Take care of that knee!

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FROGGEE 9/20/2009 3:39PM

    What great pictures. keepup the great work.

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PHYSICIST 9/20/2009 12:34PM

    Great Mim!!!!
McKinley park really looks nice too!! Were you able to get your pedometer configured and use it today? I bet you had a wonderful time just looking at the plants too, besides enjoying the walk! I wish I could have gone with you!!!
I'm sorry to hear about your knee... and about having to clean the kitchen!! :-P
I hope your knee gets better soon :-)
emoticon emoticon

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SKEETER90 9/20/2009 10:23AM

    Great job with the walk! What a beautiful place to walk....

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3# gone! - how did that happen???

Friday, September 18, 2009

Ok. After the walk I had to take care of couple of 'dirty' things around the house. Finally finished and got ready to take shower; and decided to weigh in (I forgot to last week).

Imagine my surprise when I saw 3# had left my bootie! Huh?? How did that happen?? Didn't I just chow down chocolate cookies for no reason; ice cream & a selection of b-day cake samples since my last weigh in????

I'm thinking the slow steady, though not perfect approach, is working for me.

OK Jules: I've got 7 more pounds to go.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GETDONE 9/19/2009 2:14PM

    emoticon emoticonI think your right == you have learned how to eat for your own body. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IDAATJE 9/19/2009 11:47AM

What a great suprise, this proofs you're doing great! Keep up the great work!

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NATALIE_W 9/19/2009 5:06AM

    That's fabulous! I hope you are basking in that :)
I'm so happy for you :D

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SOMEEVILGIRL 9/19/2009 4:32AM

    Ohhh, congrats! The surprise losses are always the best! More proof that you don't have to beat yourself up over small slip-ups here and there. emoticon

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LOBO77 9/19/2009 1:56AM

    I am so happy for you, I share your joy, sister. I recently hit 4,000 fitness minutes and believe me I wondered how that happened!! I had a couple of negative comments about it so I decided to not add my fitness minutes. Here I thought I was doing great, all the yardwork I did I counted it. Playing with my dog, I counted it. I like the QuickFire Challenges & those, too added up. Sometimes I have to stretch in bed just to get off the bed & I counted that, too! So I really got frustrated & decided it's nobody's business but when I saw your blog I couldnt help but rejoice with you. I hope you only get positive feedback, you deserve it!!


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KO1215 9/18/2009 11:35PM

    Awesome!!!! That's fantastic. Keep up the good work!!!!

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MISS_VIV 9/18/2009 9:14PM

lucky thing you

keep up the good work


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SKEETER90 9/18/2009 8:23PM

    I bet it happened because of all the exercise that you doing - you are walking, and you even started jogging! Keep it up!!!

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DLDAY08 9/18/2009 5:14PM

    Good job! Keep it up! emoticon

Have a great Yom Terruah

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WIFEALF 9/18/2009 5:02PM

    Good for you!Be warned it might be a bad weigh in 2 weeks it always happened that way not sure why....Just warning you in advanced.....Good luck

Have a good weekend!

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Chocolate chip cookies @ 3:30AM???!!!###

Friday, September 18, 2009

I got to bed a little be after midnight -so I missed my goal of midnight bed time by about 30 minutes. Went to sleep fine. But got up to go to the bathroom around 3:30AM, and somehow felt compelled to get in the cookie jar and ate 5 chips-a-hoy chocolate chip cookies.

It was almost like I was sleepwalking, but I wasn't cuz I remember eating them. I'm still not sure what that was about at all. WHY WOULD I DO SUCH A SILLY THING???!!!### Did I exercise too much yesterday? (I went for walk in Gibbons Park, then made it over to the gym for core exercises and more walking on treadmill, and then went out to the garden.) How do I prepare for it the next time it happens??

Does anyone else do this???

-- Today's chuckle --
This one's from my bay area cousin yesterday:

"Carefull when you listen to that hard beat music!!!"

I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart.  The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better.   I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SKEETER90 9/18/2009 2:59PM

    I don't know what it is, but I have control over everything else except chips and salsa (fresh, from a restaurant). DLDAY08 and I have something in common!

Can you get rid of those cookies so that you aren't tempted? Or maybe put them in a really inconvenient location (like high on a shelf in a closet). That's a tough time of night to try to deal with food temptations.

But look what you did today - you went on a walk, and you feel better. You didn't let the cookies from last night stop you from doing something healthy for yourself today. I am SO proud of you!

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MIMULUSBUG 9/18/2009 1:52PM

    Thanks so much for your comments & support. I also appreciate the book recommendation. I'll be looking for it at the library next week.

Got back from my walk at William Land Park and feeling a bit better, and planning on going to the gym later today after I'm done w/my errands.

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IDAATJE 9/18/2009 12:16PM

    I'm reading this book at the moment:
Breaking The Spell Of Binge-eating: A Road To Balance In Your Life
Written by Joanna Kortink

It's not that I have a eating disorder, but sometimes I have this same thing as you had last night. In this book this action would be called sabotaging. It gave me some insight in my thinking. It's easy reading, maybe you'll like it.

Good luck, and stay strong! emoticon

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DLDAY08 9/18/2009 10:52AM

    Labor Day we went and worked on the land. When we were finished we went out to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. I could not stop eating chips and salsa. I order a dessert after eating my portion of the dinner I split with my husband. Took one bite of the Fried Apple Pie I had order and didn't think it was that good. Even wished I had just ordered sopapillas. I ate the whole thing anyway. Didn't really like it but, ate it all. Could not tell you why I did that. I understand how you feel. Just remember today is a new day and you can not go back and change what you did but, you can try and make better decisions in the future.

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