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Baha'i Fast...day 15

Sunday, March 16, 2014

This is the 19 Day Baha'i Fast and it's almost over. We fast from sunrise to sunset for 19 days and when it's over, it is our New Year (Naw Ruz). It's the spring equinox and that somehow seems to fit better to me than having it in the middle of the winter. Even as a kid, that made no sense.

I've been doing this for over forty years. Every year is different, and this one has been because I had a sinus infection at the beginning and couldn't fast until Day 5. But that's okay because it's essentially a spiritual fast. The physical serves as a reminder. When you aren't physically fasting, you work harder to remember the purpose of these days is to reflect on your life, think about ways you want to do better, look for opportunities to be of service. It makes you slow down and consider what is important in your life.

It snowed today, but it's sunny and squirrels are playing chase on our fence, chipmunks are running around in the courtyard and I spotted a bright red cardinal. Everything is right in my world, whether it seems that way or not.

Four more days…

  


The Set Back

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

All was going well until I turned over in bed one morning. The room began to spin. I closed my eyes and waited. It took a long time for the dizzy feeling to go away, but it went. All that day I felt a little off, but okay. I still did the treadmill, drove to work, went to meetings, worked on a grant, etc. etc. etc. It seemed fine, almost. Then I flew to Washington DC for a week-long Arts Conference. I rode the elevator several times a day, and on the second to last day, participated in a mass "Hokey Pokey" (I did mention this was an Arts Conference).

After that, I felt tilted. By evening I couldn't walk straight, had to hug the walls of my room to get to the bathroom.All night I felt like I was on a ship and imagined my body was crashing. I could be dead by morning. I was glad I talked with my husband a few hours ago, and had told him I loved him. I didn't mention the dizziness because to talk about it made it more real. Yeah, that's how my mind works even when I still have it.

The next morning I could manage to pack, and get to the airport. I told my travel companions what was going on with me in case I fainted, but I managed and made it home. By then I had googled dizziness and self diagnosed this as vertigo, but went to the doctor. My niece was dizzy one year and thought it was anemia. She waited until she had health insurance to go to the doctor. She died two years ago from brain cancer and I had begged the powers that be to let me have it instead of her. I wondered if the request had gotten lost and they just found it. Not sure how you rescind a prayer request, other than look to the heavens and yell "CANCEL" But I can't look up without falling down.

Fortunately, my self-diagnosis was correct. It is vertigo and there are exercises that are helping. After I did them today I could look side to side and stand on one leg. I just can't look down.

Driving my car today.

Treadmill tomorrow.

That's my plan...ignoring the African proverb:

"Man makes plans, and the gods laugh."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLELIFE4REAL 2/25/2014 7:49AM

    I'm glad it's vertigo and not cancer.
Hugs,
Kay

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GINNABOOTS 2/19/2014 2:14PM

    I am so very sorry about your niece. emoticon

When I was reading your blog, I was thinking it was vertigo because I had it three years ago and it was the worst. I had it for about 3 weeks before I went to the doctor. I thought it was a brain tumor. I went to the doctor and he said it was vertigo, but that vertigo is a symptom of something else going on. He checked me thinking it was sinus, but everything was clear. I was experiencing double vision, feeling like someone that was 2 feet in front of me was 3 miles away and nausea, pain in the back of my head and of course the horrible dizziness. He thought it was a benign brain tumor so he ordered a CT Scan and low and behold it was impacted sinuses. I was so relieved. I have a mild case of it right now because my sinuses are acting up.

I am glad you are feeling a bit better. Keep up the exercises they do help. Take care!

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Keeping it Going...

Tuesday, February 04, 2014

My morning exercise is beginning to feel like a habit...

If I skip a day, it doesn't feel right.

A sense of having forgotten something annoys me all day

But the second day off that feeling fades...

Three days...it vanishes.

And I kick my running shoes under the bed.

that's happened before.

Knowledge is power.

I made myself remember that today when I wanted to stay under covers, cuddled next to my sweetie-man.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLELIFE4REAL 2/5/2014 7:46PM

    I'm impressed by people that have a really consistent exercise program, that's always been a tough thing for me.

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It's About Love

Friday, January 31, 2014

Last night I watched a documentary on Netflix called "Lost Angels". It's about the Skid Row area in LA. About halfway through the film I saw a woman wearing a t-shirt that said "Love is the Answer". I had just been thinking that. The film depicts people caring for each other. There is one police officer who can walk in that area without back up. No one messes with him and it's because he loves them. If he arrests someone, it's a fair arrest and he's doing it to protect other people, or protect the person he is arresting.

At a conference years ago a speaker said the answer to every problem is love and knowledge. When I remember to use that, it works. It isn't easy because you have to figure how to love in each situation, and acquire the knowledge needed.

This morning I woke up thinking love and knowledge is what Sparkpeople offers…a wealth of information and a community to give and get love.

I'm not equating the challenges people living on the streets have, with me wanting to lose a few pounds. That would be a silly and thoughtless comparison.

I just think it is interesting that it works regardless of how great or small the problems are.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLELIFE4REAL 2/1/2014 10:17AM

    Good reminder! Thanks!

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Joined the Y today (again)

Thursday, January 30, 2014

I joined the YMCA today because for the month of January there is no joiner fee. I was a member a few years ago and then quit and bought a treadmill. I use it, but it's boring. And I miss swimming.

We had an above ground pool until a tree fell on it. Our insurance would replace it, but the pool had its drawbacks. It was costly and hard to maintain, I worried about the grand kids going in without an adult even though they have been warned about the dangers...they are good kids, but they are kids and they love adventure. And they think they are invincible.

The insurance company's offer was a replacement, or $10,000 cash.

We took the cash and bought new furniture, remodeled a bathroom, and financed a Thanksgiving trip for the whole family to visit my mother-in-law. She's been depressed after her husband died. The visit made her happy and I'm glad we went when she could still remember who we are.

This week my mother-in-law was diagnosed with Alzeimers. There were signs, but we hoped it was grief. We thought she would get better with time.

I don't regret not having the pool, but I need to swim to feel right. A friend says it's because my sun and moon signs are water signs. I don't know about that, but in the water I feel peaceful, and graceful, and strong. In the water, thoughts are clear, and easier to hear.

That was important when I was a twelve year old girl trying to understand the world. Fifty years later, that hasn't changed.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLELIFE4REAL 1/30/2014 4:01PM

    That's great that you joined the Y instead of spending your money on another pool.

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MIMETALKER 1/30/2014 3:47PM

    Thank you, Suzipam1 emoticon

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SUZIPAM1 1/30/2014 2:17PM

    love this blog

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