Tuesday, January 31, 2012
I have gained back all but 10 lbs. According to my trophies, a year ago I was already 5-10 lbs down...so, technically, at the same weight that I am now.
I could list the millions of reasons why my willpower failed, but I basically got complacent, lazy, and busy with other areas of my life. I know that I need to use the tracker in order to stay on top of my calories, so I'm going to start using it again today. It's all about moderation, and I have to keep that in mind because so easily I begin to see things only in the black and whiteness of feast or famine.
I'm going back to school in the fall for my second masters, and I know I need to make this my lifestyle long before that happens or all hell will break loose. I am no longer planning a wedding (I have a DH now! Bizarre...), I've applied for promotion and I have three more years until tenure, and I'm done with my move (that took place over four months last year.) And, I am now three months into my thyroid meds for hypothyroid and feeling better every week.
So, no excuses. Injuries happen, colds happen, stomach aches happen. Bad weather happens. Bad moods happen. But doggoneit, I want to be proud of myself again for being healthy. I'm wishing on a figurative eyelash that it will happen.
Jimmy supports this plan. No surprise; it means more walks for him.
Sunday, February 06, 2011
As a librarian, I periodically have to work on Sundays during the academic year. Today, I've spent way too much of my Ref Desk time on the SP website instead of cataloging books, but I'll allow myself this small discretion, as I often work extra hours on Authority Control (think: subject headings) from home.
After helping a student, I suddenly came to the realization that I felt abnormal. To clarify, I felt clear. Awake. Focused. Not foggy and tired. Even after being awoken at 3am this morning when the dog yelp/howled in his sleep (and I was jarred awake thinking that this was the end) and then not sleeping well afterwards, I am not tired. I feel fit, energized, and I can hold a thought. I think that some of this is the revamped exercise routine, some is the 10lbs gone, some of it is the sense of control I have towards my diet now that I use the SP nutrition counter...but most of it is the water. I have a 24 oz. water bottle that I gulp down 3-5 times a day like it's...um, water. My skin is clear. It's not dry, which is miracle considering I'm walking multiple miles outdoors every day in an Ohio winter. My sleep has improved (minus doggy nightmare nights), and I find myself bumping up the intensity of my workouts on a regular basis.
I feel like I should get a necklace with Poseidon on it, to thank the God of Water for what he's done to me. I tend to like little reminders such as those. For awhile, I considered tattooing (although I never actually would; I merely snarkily entertained the idea) NTAGATF on the inside of my wrist: Nothing Tastes As Good As Thin Feels.
I finally let myself dig out the old jeans last night. There are four pairs of Express jeans that I absolutely love, and one pair is in tatters. There's a patch on a hole in the butt, the knee is torn, but the cuffs/bells on those pants could not have been designed better for flip flops. Anyway, I got them on. I got them buttoned. They didn't rip. They looked too tight and white trash still, but they were on.
Water, you have made viewing the movie Water World almost sound appealing, just so I could pay homage to you by watching it. And that says a lot.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Theoretically, today should be a good mood day. I was in a great mood this morning when I put on a cute black dress and my slouchy black crocheted Uggs with tights because the scale read 10lbs lower than the highest weight I had gotten to in the last two years (which I was at during Christmas 2010.)
A couple of things that I can put my finger on trigged the grumpiness, and now it seems like everything anyone does is irritating me.
At lunch with a couple of coworkers, I felt like they pitied me and looked down on me for not having some of the bread that comes with your meal at the restaurant. I explained I was successfully finally losing weight and trying to be healthy. "What, are you on a no-carb diet or something?" (in a border-line mocking voice). The bread was soaked in butter, you could tell, but when I try and explain that, it makes it look like I'M the one looking down on them for eating it. Don't question my food choices...just let me eat in peace! :)
The second reason is because tonight I'm going out to dinner with a couple of friends at a Thai restaurant nearby. I've found that finding food for a health-conscious vegetarian at a Thai restaurant that isn't designed for a rabbit is difficult (i.e. plate of steamed veggies). So, no matter what I try and plan in my Nutrition Tracker, I'm going to go over my goal for today. And I'll probably get home too late from dinner to work out.
Grrrrr. Restaurants are so stressful, and today I had to try and budget in two of them. Hopefully writing this all out will allow me to stop focusing on it, and get back to the huge pile of work on my desk.
Friday, January 21, 2011
This has been a trying week at work...food wise.
Trial #1: Early in the week, my boss brought in cookies. They were those new sugar cookies from the grocery store that seem to be popping up everywhere in the last couple of years; they're soft with awesome crunchy frosting. I resisted. At the end of the day, with my calories in check, I was able to fit in a small square of my friend's homemade carrot cake instead, and it tasted EXTRA delicious, knowing that I hadn't blown my healthy calorie intake and yet I was still able to reward myself.
Trial #2: That same night at work, I had brought my friend two huge blocks of cheese from my fridge that I didn't want to waste, but I also didn't want hanging around as a temptation. As I parted with them, I considered taking a chunk from the mild cheddar cheese. But I didn't. I seriously wanted to cry as the cheese left my sight, but I fought the tears and immediately felt like a stronger person.
Trial #3: In the middle of the week, Peppermint Patties and Orange Slices (the sugary candy kind, and one of my FAVORITE candies) showed up at work. I have walked past those suckers for three days now, and nary a one has entered into my daily intake.
Trail #4: THIS MORNING a coworker brought in a dozen donuts to celebrate it being Friday. So, I went to "Add a Food" and researched donuts. I love donuts. With a passion. I've loved them my entire life. Every Saturday growing up, my dad would take me to Dunkin Donuts where he'd read the paper and I'd gorge myself on Chocolate Twists, Maple Frosteds, Strawberry Frosteds, etc. I did the math, from the "not that bad" Spark user entered nutritional facts to the "holy cow" donut totals. And...I ate my granola bar, shed not a single tear, and patted myself on the back.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Two weeks ago I joined SparkPeople after seeing a reference to it in one of those People Magazine "Look at me! I'm half a person now!" articles. I did so sarcastically, assuming that this would be yet another item to add to the pile of workout DVDs, VHS tapes, books, steps, shake weights, kettle balls, and free weights that have been collecting dust in the closet of my house that doubles as my unable-to-lose-weight baggage center.
The first day that I tracked my nutrition (day 2), I ate double the calories I should have. By the end of the day, I was shoving thin mints and chunks of mild cheddar cheese in my mouth in desperation, hating myself and relishing the taste at the same time. I think that I was subconsciously preparing myself to change my dietary life, not unlike a smoker who smokes two packs the night before the following day when they plan to quit cold turkey.
Since that fateful day, I have been completely under control. It's as though a switch was flipped. I don't snack unnecessarily. In my head, I calculate about two hours between a meal and a snack, so that I'm eating five times a day. I think ahead, schedule food ahead, and look up user-entered restaurant entrées before going out to dinner.
I drink water like crazy. I thought I drank plenty before, but with the water counter, I've gone from 4 cups per day to 10! My skin looks better and I swear I have more energy. Getting up to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes has got to be burning extra calories, too...
Fitness wise, I started keeping track of all the miles I log walking back and forth to work, to my boyfriend's, to the store, and just for exercise. Suddenly each step MEANS something. And this Thursday, I finally went back to the gym and did an hour of yoga and then an hour of Zumba (my first class!) I was terrible at Zumba, but the smile on my face was huge. I was moving, I was sweating, I looked ridiculous, but so did everyone else and we were all just happy to be living. It's cheesy, but that's what healthy living does to you...it makes you feel alive.
The scale says I've lost about five pounds. My jeans are already feeling loose. For almost two years, my weight REFUSED to budge below 140. I lamented how it was ridiculous that as a vegetarian that walks/bikes everywhere, I am unable to lose weight. But it took actually tracking my lifestyle for me to see my glaring errors.
SP, you rock.
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