MILLISMA   196,256
SparkPoints
100,000 or more SparkPoints
 
 
MILLISMA's Recent Blog Entries

INNOCENCE IS PRICELESS!!!!

Monday, December 12, 2011




One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the

church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small

American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring

at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy,

and said quietly, 'Good morning Alex.'



'Good morning Pastor,' he replied, still focused on the plaque. 'Pastor, what is

this? '


The pastor said, 'Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who

died in the service.'



Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little

Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked,


'Which service, the 8:00 or the 10:30 ?'



Love the way kids think!!!! emoticon


emoticonMary Anne

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THROOPER62 12/14/2011 6:35AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
INFLATED 12/13/2011 4:02PM

    LOL! Mr. Bean did a skit about church that was hilarious.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CLAIREINPARIS 12/13/2011 1:28PM

    Very funny, thank you! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GATORJOY 12/13/2011 1:23PM

    Best one in awhile! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
IDLETYME 12/13/2011 8:37AM

    That's a great one! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PEGGYO 12/13/2011 7:56AM

    See your blogs were missed. They were sunshine in our days.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JANET552 12/13/2011 6:38AM

    I laughed out loud at that one!

Report Inappropriate Comment
REMARAHAB 12/12/2011 10:46PM

    Thanks!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOOZLEBEAR 12/12/2011 10:06PM

    I needed that chuckle tonight!!!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHEBESS 12/12/2011 8:04PM

    LOL!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ILOVEROSES 12/12/2011 5:57PM

    Thanks for this morning's laugh. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CRAZYDOGLADYBO 12/12/2011 3:33PM

    That is too funny! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PEGGYO 12/12/2011 3:19PM

    Glad you're back with your blogs.

Report Inappropriate Comment
THETURTLEBEAR 12/12/2011 1:43PM

    That was great!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BUTEAFULL 12/12/2011 12:18PM

    get to feeling better quick, and laughter IS the best medicine
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CATLADY52 12/12/2011 11:43AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 12/12/2011 11:06AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NORASPAT 12/12/2011 10:38AM

    Thanks Mary Anne. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATHRYNLP 12/12/2011 9:49AM

    Ooooo... good to know the killer service, huh... emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MELA1953 12/12/2011 9:30AM

    Very cute!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MCGS62 12/12/2011 9:27AM

    that one is coming to church with me!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SENATOR9 12/12/2011 9:18AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAMAWLINDALOU 12/12/2011 9:00AM

    Thanks that is so cute. I could vision my seven year old grandson saying something like that.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TAMPATINK67 12/12/2011 8:37AM

    Thanks - I needed that!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Divorced Barbie Doll!!!!

Sunday, December 11, 2011




One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly


remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and


asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display


window?' The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have:


Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for


$19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut


Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for


$265.95'.


The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95


and the others only $19.95?'



The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir...,


Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's


Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends . emoticon


emoticonMary Anne


Have a Healthy, Happy Week!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IDLETYME 12/13/2011 8:35AM

    Really cute - Thanks!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PEGGYO 12/12/2011 3:20PM

    Missed this yesterday

Report Inappropriate Comment
ILOVEROSES 12/12/2011 7:32AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WILSON425 12/12/2011 5:25AM

    Funny emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
INFLATED 12/12/2011 5:13AM

    I said that to a customer that called Big Lots except that I said she came with the covertible, the dream house, all of Ken's clothes and Barbie's friend. She was interested because I didn't put a price on all of that.

Then I had to tell her I made it up. She was nice and just laughed.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SENATOR9 12/12/2011 12:46AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOOZLEBEAR 12/11/2011 9:50PM

    That is a great one!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHALLENGER15 12/11/2011 7:46PM

    Funny!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NORASPAT 12/11/2011 7:43PM

    DH and I loved it. Thats a good one, HUGS Pat in Maine . emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LINDAKAY228 12/11/2011 7:06PM

    Loved that one!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MELLABELLAS 12/11/2011 6:31PM

    haha loved it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAYDE53 12/11/2011 4:56PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SYLPHINPROGRESS 12/11/2011 1:48PM

    I suppose there's a Divorced Ken on a shelf on the opposite side of the shop that has been marked down to $6.99 as is, final sale?

Report Inappropriate Comment
SBNORMAL 12/11/2011 12:43PM

  This is so wrong, but is so funny!!! LOL

Report Inappropriate Comment
CONNIER64 12/11/2011 12:37PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLJEAN64 12/11/2011 12:32PM

    LOL!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOSPELCLOWN 12/11/2011 11:58AM

    That sounds about right...

Report Inappropriate Comment
THINAGIN2 12/11/2011 11:57AM

    It's always nice to start the day with a chuckle! Thanks for today's!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SLIMMERJESSE 12/11/2011 11:52AM

    Very cute! Thanks!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOMMA_BEAR_69 12/11/2011 11:50AM

    Soooo FUNNY!!! Thank you for sharing.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHEBESS 12/11/2011 11:42AM

    LOL!!!!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ELRIDDICK 12/11/2011 11:35AM

  Funny! Thanks for sharing

Report Inappropriate Comment


The Potty!!!!

Wednesday, December 07, 2011




A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD GIRL IS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HER MOTHER

THINKS SHE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S

UP. THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK.


ABOUT EVERY 15 SECONDS OR SO, SHE PUTS THE BOOK DOWN, GRIPS ONTO

THE TOILET SEAT WITH HER LEFT HAND AND HITS HERSELF ON TOP OF HER

HEAD WITH HER RIGHT HAND.


HER MOTHER SAYS: "AUDREY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE

FOR A WHILE."


AUDREY SAYS: "I'M FINE, MOMMY. I JUST HAVEN'T GONE POTTY' YET."


MOTHER SAYS: "OK, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES. BUT

AUDREY, WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?"


AUDREY SAYS: "WORKS FOR KETCHUP."




Gotta love kids!!!!



emoticonMary Anne

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IDLETYME 12/9/2011 7:40AM

    Cute!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
RAINBOWFALLS 12/8/2011 6:07PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAYDE53 12/7/2011 11:50PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DADDYS_GIRL6 12/7/2011 10:43PM

    Yep, ya gotta love those little ones!! Thanks for the chuckle!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOOZLEBEAR 12/7/2011 10:02PM

    Too funny!!! Thanks for the chuckle!!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHEBESS 12/7/2011 8:55PM

    LOL!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ASMPP1 12/7/2011 6:27PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PEGGYO 12/7/2011 5:49PM

    so cute

Report Inappropriate Comment
INFLATED 12/7/2011 2:00PM

    Too funny!

Report Inappropriate Comment
THISTIMEMYWAY 12/7/2011 1:21PM

    I didn't expect that! lol Thanks for the laugh :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
BUTEAFULL 12/7/2011 12:44PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEWMAC2011 12/7/2011 12:25PM

    That's too cute! Maybe that will work for my cats; I'm trying to toilet train them!

Report Inappropriate Comment
EARTHMOTHR 12/7/2011 11:20AM

    Too cute!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATHRYNLP 12/7/2011 9:44AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOMMA_BEAR_69 12/7/2011 9:43AM

    I love it!!! Thanks for sharing. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SENATOR9 12/7/2011 9:25AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 12/7/2011 9:05AM

    Oh yeah!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NORASPAT 12/7/2011 8:54AM

    I have not stopped laughing yet, I know I will think of this all day and laugh again. HUGS MUCH Pat in Maine. emoticon emoticon emoticon MAYBE!!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment


My job search!!!!!

Sunday, December 04, 2011




1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory,
but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.



2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack,
but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.



3. After that, I tried being a Tailor,
but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.



4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory,
but that was too exhausting.



5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life,
but just didn't have the thyme.



6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker,
but any way I sliced it..... couldn't cut the mustard.



7. My best job was a Musician,
but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.



8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor,
but didn't have any patience.



9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory.
Tried hard but just didn't fit in.



10. I became a Professional Fisherman,
but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.



11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company,
but the work was just too draining.



12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center,
but they said I wasn't fit for the job.



13. After many years of trying to find steady work,
I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.



14. My last job was working in Starbucks,
but had to quit because it was the same old grind.



15. SO, I TRIED
RETIREMENT





AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!


emoticonMary Anne

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAINBOWFALLS 12/6/2011 8:50AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
INFLATED 12/6/2011 3:49AM

    This would be funny on a job application.

Report Inappropriate Comment
IDLETYME 12/5/2011 10:43AM

    Really great - Thanks!!! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MCGS62 12/5/2011 8:43AM

    always funny!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LEW0213 12/5/2011 7:40AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WILSON425 12/5/2011 12:51AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SLIMMERJESSE 12/4/2011 11:40PM

    Cute!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOMMA_BEAR_69 12/4/2011 11:29PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
THETURTLEBEAR 12/4/2011 10:25PM

    Funny bunny!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SENATOR9 12/4/2011 9:19PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAYDE53 12/4/2011 9:08PM

    Love it, love it, love it! That's my job! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BUTEAFULL 12/4/2011 8:18PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NORASPAT 12/4/2011 8:18PM

    Good stuff --- SAUSAGES

Pat in Maine. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 12/4/2011 2:48PM

    LOVE it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ASMPP1 12/4/2011 1:06PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CRAZYDOGLADYBO 12/4/2011 11:16AM

    Love it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PEGGYO 12/4/2011 10:49AM

    so true

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATHRYNLP 12/4/2011 10:47AM

    Retirement is life's best reward for a job well done! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MRE1956 12/4/2011 10:23AM

    Sometimes it just takes perserverance until you find the right match!

emoticon

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
EJHEINRICH1 12/4/2011 9:20AM

    I love it! What a great way to Start my Sunday! With a smile!
Well I am off to my work. And this is a pill I can swallow!
I work in a supplement store ;-)

Report Inappropriate Comment


Margaret and Bert (Very Clever Good/Badddd)

Saturday, December 03, 2011








THE NEVER ENDING SOAP OPERA OF MARGARET & BERT . . . . .







Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"

Margaret looked him over. "Nope."

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.

Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"

Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"

"Nope. Not a clue", she replied.

"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"

Without missing a beat Margaret replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert.
Shoulda bought a hat."


emoticon



emoticonMary Anne

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

INFLATED 12/6/2011 3:50AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WILSON425 12/5/2011 12:53AM

    Too cute. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAYDE53 12/3/2011 11:52PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PEGGYO 12/3/2011 7:08PM

    funny

Report Inappropriate Comment
ASMPP1 12/3/2011 6:14PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CATLADY52 12/3/2011 4:42PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LINDAKAY228 12/3/2011 11:48AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LEW0213 12/3/2011 11:41AM

    Still laughing at this one. Thanks.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SENATOR9 12/3/2011 11:08AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHEBESS 12/3/2011 10:54AM

    LOL!!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TINY67 12/3/2011 10:51AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 12/3/2011 10:39AM

    Oh, emoticonishly funny!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CRAZYDOGLADYBO 12/3/2011 8:30AM

    Good one! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GARDENCHRIS 12/3/2011 8:24AM

    cute!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DIANE7786 12/3/2011 8:19AM

    Very funny. Thanks for sharing.

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 Last Page