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Lunch with the girls through the ages!!!!

Saturday, July 02, 2011





A group of 15-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner.
Finally, they agreed to meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant
because they had only $6.00 among them and Jimmy Johnson, the cute boy in Social
Studies, lived on that street.


10 years later, the group of 25-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet
for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because
the beer was cheap, the restaurant offered free snacks, the band was good,
there was no cover and there were lots of cute guys.


10 years later, the group of 35-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet
for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because
the cosmos were good, it was right near the gym and, if they went late enough,
there wouldn't be too many whiny little kids.


10 years later, the group of 45-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet
for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because
the martinis were big and the waiters had tight pants and nice buns.


10 years later, the group of 55-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet
for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because
the prices were reasonable, the wine list was good, the restaurant had windows
that opened (in case of a hot flashes), and fish is good for cholesterol.


10 years later, the group of 65-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet
for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because
the lighting was good and the restaurant had an early bird special.


10 years later, the group of 75-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet
for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because
the food was not too spicy and the restaurant was handicapped-accessible.


10 years later, the group of 85-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet
for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because
they had never been there before. emoticon


emoticonMary Anne

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMEMINE1 7/3/2011 8:35AM

    haha.Good one.

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FLOWERDALEJEWEL 7/3/2011 4:41AM

   

I think I'll skip 85 emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KAYDE53 7/2/2011 11:41PM

    Something to look forward to! emoticon

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STILLWATERS811 7/2/2011 10:59PM

  Ha! So cute. Thank you.

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 7/2/2011 6:51PM

    emoticon Thanks!

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BUTEAFULL 7/2/2011 5:27PM

    emoticon

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PHEBESS 7/2/2011 3:08PM

    LOL!

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GOOZLEBEAR 7/2/2011 3:04PM

    That is very funny!!! thanks for the chuckle!!!!!

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RAINBOWFALLS 7/2/2011 2:47PM

    I thought they would end back up at the Dairy Queen! emoticon

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GEMINIAN1 7/2/2011 1:34PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DKELLEY35 7/2/2011 1:28PM

    Oh the changes the years bring. LOL

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THETURTLEBEAR 7/2/2011 10:30AM

    Ha ha - loved the punch line!

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KATHRYNLP 7/2/2011 9:55AM

    Sounds like a great place to go to.. emoticon emoticon

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LEW0213 7/2/2011 9:49AM

    hehehehehe. Very cute. emoticon

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SENATOR9 7/2/2011 9:37AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JATHUENER 7/2/2011 9:34AM

    very cute thanks

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AGASSIFAN 7/2/2011 9:31AM

    I enjoyed this one!!!!

emoticon

Have a safe 4th of July weekend!!!!

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BUGSMIMI 7/2/2011 9:19AM

  LOL! Thanks! : )

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ZUGASAURUS 7/2/2011 9:17AM

    Haha, I was wondering where that was going!

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Witticisms of Ignorance!!!!

Friday, July 01, 2011



-It 's not whether you win or lose,
but how you place the blame.


-You are not drunk
if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.


-We have enough youth..
How about a fountain of "smart"?


-The original point and click interface
was a Smith & Wesson.


-A fool and his money
can throw one heck of a party.


-when blondes have more fun do they know it?


-Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park.


-LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES
USE BIRTH CONTROL


- Money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.


- Don't Drink and Drive
You might hit a bump and spill something.


- If at first you don't succeed
skydiving is not for you..


-Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.


-Time's fun when you're having flies.
......Kermit the Frog


-We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.


- Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.


-One good thing about Alzheimer's is
you get to meet new people every day.


-Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
to produce reproductive organs.


ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.

-You know why a banana is like a politician?
When he first comes in he is green, then he turns yellow and then he's rotten..




Happy Friday! Have a great weekend everyone.!

emoticonMary Anne

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEWME0519 7/7/2011 2:53PM

    My favorite:
We have enough youth..
How about a fountain of "smart"?
emoticon

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IMEMINE1 7/3/2011 8:37AM

    These are good.

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PURPLESPEDCOW 7/2/2011 7:09AM

    emoticon

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FLOWERDALEJEWEL 7/2/2011 3:29AM

   


emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CATS_MEOW_0911 7/2/2011 2:42AM

    emoticon

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KAYDE53 7/1/2011 9:57PM

    emoticonfor my Friday laugh fix! emoticon

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ASMPP1 7/1/2011 8:46PM

    emoticon

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GOOZLEBEAR 7/1/2011 8:46PM

    Thanks for my Friday laughs!!!! emoticon

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 7/1/2011 4:05PM

    Thanks for the laughs!

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MARGARITTM 7/1/2011 2:10PM

    Thanks for the smile! emoticon

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RAINBOWFALLS 7/1/2011 1:57PM

    emoticon so true!

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DKELLEY35 7/1/2011 1:33PM

    Happy 4th of July Mary Anne. Don't party too hard.

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PEGGYO 7/1/2011 1:16PM

    Have a good weekend too!!

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AGASSIFAN 7/1/2011 1:08PM

    emoticon emoticon

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THETURTLEBEAR 7/1/2011 10:50AM

    Great Friday reading!

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LEW0213 7/1/2011 9:19AM

    These were great. Loved the one about red meat. I'll have to use that one on my boys. emoticon

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SENATOR9 7/1/2011 9:06AM

    Your words of wisdom amaze me more and more everyday emoticon

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TRESSA48 7/1/2011 8:32AM

    These are great! I'm going to have to share some of these on Facebook. Thanks for the laugh.

Tee

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GEMINIAN1 7/1/2011 8:30AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BILLTMAN 7/1/2011 8:30AM

    Those are all great! Thanks for sharing

Bill

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COOLAUNTBBW 7/1/2011 8:21AM

    Love it! Some of them I'd heard before, but others were new to me. I'm always on the lookout for some witty words, sarcastic or not. emoticon

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Reincarnation

Thursday, June 30, 2011




A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death.

Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.

After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact:

"Marion ... Marion "

"Is that you, Bob?"

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"That's wonderful! What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.

Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon.

After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"

"Oh, Bob you are in Heaven?"






"No ...........I'm a rabbit in Arizona" emoticon



Have a healthy, happy day!

emoticonMary Anne

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2BLEAN_N_FIT_AZ 7/14/2011 6:35PM

    You're right I did get a laugh out loud with that one! Glad you pointed it out to me!

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JATHUENER 7/2/2011 9:36AM

    LOL never would have thought about that ending for sure

Comment edited on: 7/2/2011 9:36:28 AM

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FLOWERDALEJEWEL 7/1/2011 7:00AM

   


emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WIGIME 7/1/2011 5:29AM

    lol

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PEGGYO 6/30/2011 10:59PM

    lol

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SENATOR9 6/30/2011 10:30PM

    emoticonThat was funny emoticonfor the laugh
That is a keeper emoticon

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CATLADY52 6/30/2011 10:11PM

    Funny, especially since I used to raise rabbits. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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STILLWATERS811 6/30/2011 8:10PM

  Many laughs, as usual. Thank you.

emoticon

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LEW0213 6/30/2011 7:59PM

    Funny, Funny.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DKELLEY35 6/30/2011 6:58PM

    Ahhh! So that's what we have to look forward to. LOL

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KAYDE53 6/30/2011 2:48PM

    emoticon

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ASMPP1 6/30/2011 11:35AM

    emoticon

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THETURTLEBEAR 6/30/2011 10:30AM

    Excellent!

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ERTSMOM 6/30/2011 10:28AM

    emoticon

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METALLICAT1 6/30/2011 9:35AM

    That it totally funny! emoticon

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SHARJOPAUL 6/30/2011 9:26AM

    lol Great

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KATHRYNLP 6/30/2011 8:52AM

    Too funny.... emoticon

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SPARKLISE 6/30/2011 8:50AM

    emoticon

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BUGSMIMI 6/30/2011 8:44AM

  What a riot! LOL!

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They "Still" Walk Amoung Us!!!!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011


NEW YORK - resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance
on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'

Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use
of lifelines ever.' After being introduced to the show's host
Meredith Vieira, Evans was posed with a typically easy initial $100 question.

The question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?'

A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) A Car
Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she did not readily know the answer. 'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans,
as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief.
'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before,
but I have no idea how large they would be.'

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50.
Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure.

'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans...
'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'
Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend
Betsy, who is an office assistant.

'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans,
wasting the first seven seconds of her call.
'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest?
B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.'
Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon.
Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.
'Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Duh, that can't be it.'

To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's advice. 'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright.
So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans.

Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.
'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the too-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So, let's see... I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.'

Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with baited breath -
and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'
Caution...they walk among us!
---------------------

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a
sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'
For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'

The next day someone stole it!

They walk amongst us!
-------------------------------------


I stopped at Mc Donalds and ordered some fries.
The girl behind the counter said would you like some fries with that?

They walk amongst us!

--------------

One day I was walking down the beach with
some friends when someone shouted....
'Look at that dead bird!'
Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'

They walk among us!

----------------------------------------
------------------

While looking at a house, my brother asked the
estate agent which direction was north because
he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
My brother explained that the sun rises in the east
and has for sometime. She shook her head and said,
'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......'

They Walk Among Us!
----------------------------------------
----

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
when we overheard an admin girl talking about the
sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said
she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned
because the car was moving'.

They Walk Among Us!
------------------------------------

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
which is designed to cut through a seat belt
if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.

They Walk Among Us!


----------------------------------------
---------
I was going out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.
My friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must rip
out every time she turns her head!"
I had to explain that a person's nose and ear
remain the same distance apart no
matter which way the head is turned...

They Walk Among Us !
-------------------------------
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
because she was a trained professional and
said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
'Has your plane arrived yet?'.....
(I work with professionals like this.)

They Walk Among Us!
----------------------------------------
--------
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry
enough to eat 6 pieces.

They Walk Among Us!

Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they Vote and their vote equals ours and they also reproduce!





Have a great day!!!!


emoticonMary Anne

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PEWTERBUNNY 6/30/2011 1:15PM

    Funny stuff! Except for the first story about the Millionaire contest is fabricated. http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/games
hows/millionaire.asp


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FLOWERDALEJEWEL 6/30/2011 7:17AM

   


Some chlorine in the gene pool please!!!

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WIGIME 6/30/2011 3:21AM

    An oldie but goodie!

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HEALTHYBARB1 6/29/2011 10:58PM

    Oh no! My daughter and I had a great laugh....especially the part about them voting and reproducing!!!! AAAHHH!!! Thanks for the laughter for the day! Smiles Barb

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GOOZLEBEAR 6/29/2011 10:21PM

    You sure know how to give me my daily chuckle!!!!! emoticon

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STILLWATERS811 6/29/2011 10:13PM

  Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! I am going to laugh all night! Thanks so much for the grins.

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PEGGYO 6/29/2011 5:32PM

    funny

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KAYDE53 6/29/2011 4:18PM

    emoticonYikes, I'm afraid to laugh too much, because I've been known to do some pretty dumb things too, & I also walk among you!! emoticon emoticon

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DKELLEY35 6/29/2011 12:37PM

    They are amongst us and we should be aware! LOL

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KOMAL53 6/29/2011 11:53AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Oh Dear!!!That was so good!!!I'm going to have a Great night!!!

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MILLISMA 6/29/2011 11:34AM

    I bet if we all thought about it, we could all add something to this list.....just ask my kids and they'll tell you emoticon

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JATHUENER 6/29/2011 11:26AM

    thanks for the chuckle but it is true

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THETURTLEBEAR 6/29/2011 10:25AM

    So scary...so true.

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ERTSMOM 6/29/2011 10:13AM

    emoticon

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AGASSIFAN 6/29/2011 9:58AM

    What a doofus!!!! Very funny blog though!
emoticon emoticon

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INFLATED 6/29/2011 9:46AM

    Lol at these.

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LEW0213 6/29/2011 9:42AM

    I walk among you!!

Years ago, after my son had locked himself out of his car while at the store, I brought out a coat hanger when he pulled up in the driveway. "Here. Keep this in your car to use if you lock yourself out again." He looked at me blankly. It took me about 5 seconds to realize what I had said.

I'm still trying to live that one down. My kids bring it up every so often.



emoticon emoticon
Linda

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CATLADY52 6/29/2011 9:40AM

    And some of Them lead the country! emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/29/2011 9:41:41 AM

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PHEBESS 6/29/2011 9:18AM

    THEY are scary!!!!!

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MARVEEME 6/29/2011 9:13AM

    And I sat at a lunch table listening to "PERFECT PENNY" describe her tanning sessions, her boyfriend's steroid use for body building, their fast shiny sports cars meeting up with other snobby 20 somethings, and when the group at the table had ALL rolled their eyes at least twice, I said "Oh, Penny, you're so narcissistic!". She smiled bright, and gleefully and giddily replied "Thank you! It's so nice to get compliments from my co-workers!" And everyone laughed out loud.

They DO walk among us. It took her 2 1/2 hours to approach me and ask "What was that word you used at the lunch table?"


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KATHRYNLP 6/29/2011 9:04AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ASMPP1 6/29/2011 8:34AM

    emoticon

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SENATOR9 6/29/2011 8:27AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MOMMYBYCHOICE 6/29/2011 8:07AM

    wow what a hoot....

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SPARKLISE 6/29/2011 8:05AM

    That was funny but i know i say and do some pretty stupid things without thinking too. And i do walk among you guys also!
emoticon

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PRINCHESSA 6/29/2011 8:05AM

    emoticon emoticon
Yup, unfortunately I think we all see too many of these folks daily! Some of it begins to rub off ;)

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 6/29/2011 8:00AM

    Thank you for the morning smile!

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Black and White TV!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011



After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said ...

"Fifty" years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched

a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 18-year-old girl.

Now ... I have a $500,000.00 home, a $35,000.00 car, a nice big bed and a large screen

TV, but I'm sleeping with a 68-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up

your side of things."



My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 18-year-old girl

and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car,

sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.




Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's problems.



emoticonMary Anne

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PEGGYMAS1 6/29/2011 8:56AM

    thanks for sharing emoticon

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WIGIME 6/29/2011 7:51AM

    Yeah baby!

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GOOZLEBEAR 6/28/2011 9:46PM

    That is perfect!!!!! emoticon

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KITKATSGRACE 6/28/2011 9:02PM

    Love it!!!



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INFLATED 6/28/2011 8:15PM

    Have you heard about the divorced Barbie doll? She comes with the dream house, the car and all of Ken's clothes which are disposable...

This reminded me of that. I used to work at Big Lots and pulled that on a customer that phoned in. She thought there really was a "divorced Barbie doll" and that it would be a bargain if it came with all of that, lol!

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DKELLEY35 6/28/2011 7:29PM

    So true , so true.

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PHEBESS 6/28/2011 6:41PM

    As women age, we get SMARTER!

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PRINCHESSA 6/28/2011 4:59PM

    emoticon

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BUTEAFULL 6/28/2011 4:55PM

    emoticon

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KAYDE53 6/28/2011 3:07PM

    emoticon emoticon

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RAINBOWFALLS 6/28/2011 2:54PM

    emoticon

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 6/28/2011 2:35PM

    emoticon

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GRAMMACATHY 6/28/2011 2:34PM

    emoticon

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ERTSMOM 6/28/2011 12:04PM

    emoticon

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KOMAL53 6/28/2011 11:30AM

    I'm sitting here giggling like a 18 year old---GREAT ANSWER emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NINJA_SMOO 6/28/2011 11:03AM

  Hahah! Awesome :)

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SENATOR9 6/28/2011 10:45AM

    An a smart wife too emoticon

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THETURTLEBEAR 6/28/2011 9:42AM

    Big smile!

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WELLNESSME09 6/28/2011 9:19AM

    Gee, I never looked back and thought about my 45 years in the same way. It makes so much sense!!! Life is so wonderful when you can share your past and future with the love of your life.
Thank you so much for sharing your sense of humor.
May there be many more years for you and yours. emoticon emoticon

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PEGGYO 6/28/2011 9:18AM

    so true

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KATHRYNLP 6/28/2011 9:17AM

    Yuppers.. she knew how to handle him... perfectly. emoticon

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LEW0213 6/28/2011 9:16AM

    Good one, Mary Anne. emoticon

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JATHUENER 6/28/2011 9:14AM

    how funny Mary Anne i will need to share this

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