MILLISMA   221,825
200,000-249,999 SparkPoints
MILLISMA's Recent Blog Entries

It is good to be a woman

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3. Taxis stop for us.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.


I don't want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything,
but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school. emoticon

emoticon emoticonMary Anne

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAIGESMAMA 4/1/2011 7:18PM

    These are funny

Report Inappropriate Comment
WUAKOS 3/31/2011 6:37PM

  Me too!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WIGIME 3/31/2011 7:18AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
SHARONBAILEY913 3/31/2011 12:19AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOOZLEBEAR 3/30/2011 9:37PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEOWSNEWPAGE 3/30/2011 8:26PM

    In self defense

#6 we do to amuse you

#7 want to bet

#8 it is ok with us if you did

#10 so do I just nothing matches because I'm color blind and my shoes don't stay tied

#13 I still remember the girl that pierced mine --I don't remember her piercing it because meow is scared of needles but she drank me under the table

#11 secretly isn't that why we are all dieting?
the rest of it I agree with emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/30/2011 8:28:52 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
RAINBOWFALLS 3/30/2011 7:54PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
DKELLEY35 3/30/2011 7:30PM

    That was all so true, loved the earring part.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MIRAGE727 3/30/2011 4:40PM

    So can I! LOL. Thanks for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEW-CAZ 3/30/2011 4:02PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PEGGYO 3/30/2011 2:58PM

    Very funny

Report Inappropriate Comment
KIMQUILTS55 3/30/2011 2:03PM

    very amusing....I especially laughed about the earings...I may use that one on some work friends. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CUDDLEY51 3/30/2011 1:49PM

    Funny and very clever, great way to start the day!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PAWKETS 3/30/2011 1:21PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
SHAPELY 3/30/2011 1:14PM

    Great one again and funny, and love #9 the best. Hugs Rosalyn

Report Inappropriate Comment
OVERBURDEND 3/30/2011 12:15PM

    Thanks so much for this. Very funny!

Report Inappropriate Comment
29MOMOF4 3/30/2011 11:03AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
RAGIONERE 3/30/2011 10:07AM

  Very amusing! Thanks!

Report Inappropriate Comment
THETURTLEBEAR 3/30/2011 10:05AM

    Thank goodness we have those earrings!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEEDEE1102 3/30/2011 9:48AM

    Thanks for the laugh!

Report Inappropriate Comment

A Glass of Water!!!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A good thought for the day!

A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and
explaining stress management to an audience; with a raised glass of
water, and everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question,
'half empty or half full?'..... She fooled them all... "How heavy is
this glass of water?" she inquired with a smile.

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how
long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I
hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it
for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same
weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She
continued, "and that's the way it is with stress.If we carry our burdens
all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and
rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on
with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practiced.
So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down.
Don't carry them through the evening and into the night... pick them up
tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a
moment. Relax, pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short.
Enjoy it and the now 'supposed' stress that you've conquered!"

1 * Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days
you're the statue!

2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat

3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the
middle of it.

4 * Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their

5 * If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague

6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it..

7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.

8 * Never buy a car you can't push.

9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you
won't have a leg to stand on.

10 * Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

11 * Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12 * The second mouse gets the cheese.

13 * When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

14 * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

15 * You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the
world to one person.

16 * Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

17 * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty
and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors,
but they all have to live in the same box.

18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

19 * Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you

20 * It was I, your friend!

*Save the earth..... It's the only planet with chocolate






I've got to go pack.

emoticonMary Anne

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEDDYTEDDY 3/31/2011 6:54AM

    With my birthday coming up soon (#65)...I especially enjoyed the one about birthdays....

Thanks for a great are the best blogger...ever!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEOWSNEWPAGE 3/30/2011 12:11AM

    You know my oldest daughter is my step daughter and half sister to my daughter . That means her new BF just got himself an empty trap!
refer to #12
Glad you are my friend!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAYDE53 3/29/2011 9:15PM

    Love it!! Great blog! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOOZLEBEAR 3/29/2011 8:41PM

    Great blog Mary Ann, so true in many places!!! Of course, I got a chuckle too!!!!


Report Inappropriate Comment
DKELLEY35 3/29/2011 8:35PM

    Outstanding, you made me think and laugh all in one blog. I love it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
RAINBOWFALLS 3/29/2011 7:48PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
SHAPELY 3/29/2011 1:23PM

    As usual Mary Anne another good one .
You sure come up with some good ones for us. Rosalyn

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOLFCHICK2-0 3/29/2011 12:34PM

    I love it!! I have never understood people who lie about their age. I have lived and learned and each year I get older, I enjoy life more!!
Thanks for sharing!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHEBESS 3/29/2011 12:28PM

    I LOVE #17!!!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KOMAL53 3/29/2011 12:09PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
Just Superb!!!One learns something new everyday!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GEMINIAN1 3/29/2011 11:28AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
CHEF4RENT 3/29/2011 11:04AM

    AAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That is great, I needed a good laugh today (helps clear the sinuses)

Report Inappropriate Comment
THETURTLEBEAR 3/29/2011 9:49AM

    Loved this one!! Thanks!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOVEBYRD 3/29/2011 9:20AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
ANOTHERMOMOF2 3/29/2011 8:31AM

    I love it! Thank you. I have to to print it off for others in my family to see.

Have a wonderful day!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEW-CAZ 3/29/2011 8:27AM

    Wise words emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

A Good Female Joke!

Monday, March 28, 2011

There are female jokes and there are unisex jokes. Here is a joke I consider a true female joke.

I offer it to you in the hopes that women will love it and men will pass it along to a woman who will love it!

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when Steven, a tall, exceptionally handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. This seasoned yet playful heartthrob noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As any man
would.) Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00...on one condition..." Flabbergasted but intrigued, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just
three words." The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply and passionately into his eyes, barely concealing her anticipation and excitement, and slowly and meaningfully said…."Clean my house."


emoticonMary Anne

Have an awesome, healthy day! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAIGESMAMA 4/1/2011 7:16PM

    Love it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WUAKOS 3/30/2011 8:21PM

  That was awesome.... were can I find him hahaha.

Report Inappropriate Comment
WIGIME 3/29/2011 7:38AM

    You got that one right.


Report Inappropriate Comment
NEW-CAZ 3/29/2011 1:46AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
SENATOR9 3/29/2011 12:04AM

    Awesome emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
FEISTY1949 3/28/2011 9:01PM

    I'll see her $20 and raise it $10! LOL

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEOWSNEWPAGE 3/28/2011 8:31PM

    emoticon does that include windows?

Report Inappropriate Comment
RAINTHIEF 3/28/2011 7:37PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DKELLEY35 3/28/2011 7:10PM

    That was too funny.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHAPELY 3/28/2011 1:42PM

    Loved it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHEBESS 3/28/2011 12:23PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
29MOMOF4 3/28/2011 12:16PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MELA1953 3/28/2011 11:39AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
KOMAL53 3/28/2011 11:37AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Way to go Girl!!! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CATLADY52 3/28/2011 10:51AM

    Very good! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEWMAC2011 3/28/2011 9:53AM

    Love it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
THETURTLEBEAR 3/28/2011 9:52AM

    Oh yeah - I like THOSE three words!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
VANESSAWY 3/28/2011 9:30AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
MYBULLDOGS 3/28/2011 9:21AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEANCARLEEN 3/28/2011 8:50AM


Report Inappropriate Comment

Senility Prayer Plus!!!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

GOD grant me the Senility to forget
the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune
to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight
to tell the difference.

Now that I am older,
here's what I have discovered:

I started out with nothing.....
I still have most of it.

My wild oats have turned to
prunes and All Bran.

I finally got my head together,
now my body is falling apart.

Funny I don't remember
being absent minded....

All reports are in:

Life is now officially unfair.

If all is not lost, where is it?

It is easier to get older
than it is to get wiser.

Some days you're the dog,
some days you're the hydrant.

I wish the buck stopped here
I could use a few....

Kids in the back seat cause accidents;
accidents in the back seats cause kids.

It's hard to make a comeback when you have
haven't been anywhere.

Only time the world beats a path to your door is if
you're in the bathroom.

If God wanted me to touch
my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

When you're holding all the cards, why does
everyone else decide to play chess?

It's not hard to meet expenses
they're everywhere.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MELA1953 3/28/2011 11:35AM

    GOOD ONE!!!!LOL!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ILOVEROSES 3/28/2011 9:05AM

    Thanks for sharing and the puppy is soooo cute.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAYDE53 3/27/2011 10:57PM

    I loved this, it's great! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
THETURTLEBEAR 3/27/2011 8:34PM

    That was hysterical and the dog pic was the finishing touch! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DKELLEY35 3/27/2011 7:38PM

    Awwww! what a cute puppy. You know as I get older, more and more of that gets true.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TOTHEFUTURE1 3/27/2011 5:01PM

    Cute puppy and cute, accurate and funny blog

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRATEFULADY 3/27/2011 4:27PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonLaughter is always good for the soul. Thanks for sharing!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEOWSNEWPAGE 3/27/2011 4:06PM

    emoticon more of that applies than I care to admit

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOOZLEBEAR 3/27/2011 3:59PM

    That is so funny and sooooo true!!!! Love the puppy picture!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHAPELY 3/27/2011 3:30PM

    How true this is, LOL Rosalyn

Report Inappropriate Comment
4EVER21B 3/27/2011 2:43PM

    emoticon I second that! Thanks for a great smile.


Report Inappropriate Comment
DANCINCAJUN1 3/27/2011 2:27PM



Report Inappropriate Comment
EARTHMOTHR 3/27/2011 2:25PM

    Good stuff! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GEMINIAN1 3/27/2011 2:25PM

Too cute ... thank you for sharing.

Report Inappropriate Comment

Lady's Yearly Exam

Saturday, March 26, 2011

I went to the doctor for my yearly physical.
The nurse started with certain basics.

"How much do you weigh?" she asked.
"135," I said.
The nurse put me on the scale.

It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asked, "Your height?"
"5 foot 4," I said.
The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 5'2".

She then took my blood pressure and told me that it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" I screamed, "When I came in here I
was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!"

She put me on Prozac.

What a witch!!!

Have a great weekend! Remember to's contagious! emoticon

emoticonMary Anne

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAINTHIEF 3/27/2011 8:31AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
PEGGYO 3/26/2011 8:48PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
TEDDYTEDDY 3/26/2011 8:44PM

    Great one!!!

I love Maxine...Maxine is my new nickname at work as I wear a visor and sunglasses most of the time. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DKELLEY35 3/26/2011 8:00PM

    Oh Mary Anne, You just make my day. That was so funny. Thanks.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SONGOFLONGAGO 3/26/2011 6:03PM

    You've been reading my driver's license, haven't you?
You are simply delightful, my dear!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHAPELY 3/26/2011 3:18PM

    This is soooo funny, And I think we are all a little guilty of a little of that. Hugs Rosalyn

Report Inappropriate Comment
THETURTLEBEAR 3/26/2011 2:06PM

    Scarily close to reality, LOL!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHEBESS 3/26/2011 1:09PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
BUTEAFULL 3/26/2011 11:29AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
MCGS62 3/26/2011 11:06AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
GOOZLEBEAR 3/26/2011 10:36AM

    Thank you dear friend for the Saturday chuckle for me!!!!! Loved it! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JAKEANDNELLIE 3/26/2011 10:09AM

    Thanks for my laugh of the day!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KOEHNA 3/26/2011 9:23AM

    OMG I loved this it is so funny. I thought you were serious for a min and thought your were nuts...LOL emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
RAINBOWFALLS 3/26/2011 9:22AM

    I love it! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BLESSED2BEME 3/26/2011 9:18AM

    I missed your "laughter" blogs while you were gone! Thanks for starting my day off with a smile:)

Report Inappropriate Comment

First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 Last Page