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Lady's Yearly Exam

Saturday, March 26, 2011

I went to the doctor for my yearly physical.
The nurse started with certain basics.

"How much do you weigh?" she asked.
"135," I said.
The nurse put me on the scale.

It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asked, "Your height?"
"5 foot 4," I said.
The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 5'2".

She then took my blood pressure and told me that it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" I screamed, "When I came in here I
was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!"

She put me on Prozac.

What a witch!!!



Have a great weekend! Remember to smile.....it's contagious! emoticon

emoticonMary Anne

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAINTHIEF 3/27/2011 8:31AM

    emoticon

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PEGGYO 3/26/2011 8:48PM

    LOL

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TEDDYTEDDY 3/26/2011 8:44PM

    Great one!!!

I love Maxine...Maxine is my new nickname at work as I wear a visor and sunglasses most of the time. emoticon

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DKELLEY35 3/26/2011 8:00PM

    Oh Mary Anne, You just make my day. That was so funny. Thanks.

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SONGOFLONGAGO 3/26/2011 6:03PM

    You've been reading my driver's license, haven't you?
You are simply delightful, my dear!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHAPELY 3/26/2011 3:18PM

    This is soooo funny, And I think we are all a little guilty of a little of that. Hugs Rosalyn

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THETURTLEBEAR 3/26/2011 2:06PM

    Scarily close to reality, LOL!

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PHEBESS 3/26/2011 1:09PM

    LOL!!!

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BUTEAFULL 3/26/2011 11:29AM

    emoticon

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MCGS62 3/26/2011 11:06AM

    emoticon

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GOOZLEBEAR 3/26/2011 10:36AM

    Thank you dear friend for the Saturday chuckle for me!!!!! Loved it! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JAKEANDNELLIE 3/26/2011 10:09AM

    Thanks for my laugh of the day!
Sheila

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KOEHNA 3/26/2011 9:23AM

    OMG I loved this it is so funny. I thought you were serious for a min and thought your were nuts...LOL emoticon emoticon

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RAINBOWFALLS 3/26/2011 9:22AM

    I love it! emoticon

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BLESSED2BEME 3/26/2011 9:18AM

    I missed your "laughter" blogs while you were gone! Thanks for starting my day off with a smile:)


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Tired-looking Dog!!!

Friday, March 25, 2011

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.



An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out..

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3. He's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'

-----------

This hit home since I remember when my kids were little my folks asking what I wanted to Christmas. My response........"a good night's sleep!!!!!"


emoticonMary Anne

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KOMAL53 3/26/2011 1:11AM

    Cute and Touching---Beautiful Blog!!Who can forget those sleepless nights!!!Thank God ---they're in the past!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DKELLEY35 3/25/2011 7:45PM

    That is so sweet, hey maybe you should start a new business, Mary Anne's Dog Napping Hall. For those days when you just need a nap. (lol)

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GOOZLEBEAR 3/25/2011 5:15PM

    Of course I love this story since that pup looks just like my Honeybear!!!!! That is so sweet! I also remember needing sleep when my kids and grandchildren were little!!! I think we can all identify with the story!!!

Glad to have you back!!!! emoticon

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KAYDE53 3/25/2011 4:27PM

    That's a sweet story, put a smile on my face for the day!! Have a great weekend & catch up on your rest too!! emoticon

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SHAPELY 3/25/2011 1:33PM

    This is so cute.
I still have a smile on my face. Rosalyn

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RATHIMANI 3/25/2011 11:39AM

    awwh! what a cute story...that looks just like my boy Stud *my bog is a bit bigger tho* :)...thanks for the emoticon on my face

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KOMAL53 3/25/2011 11:17AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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THETURTLEBEAR 3/25/2011 10:35AM

    emoticon

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GEMINIAN1 3/25/2011 10:10AM

    What a great story.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MCGS62 3/25/2011 10:05AM

    I can always count on you to cheer me up!

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1CRAZYDOG 3/25/2011 9:43AM

    That is the most adoreable picture!!! Made my day. THANKS!

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JESSREX1 3/25/2011 9:24AM

    So precious! Hopefully you can make a new 2-legged friend in addition to your 4-legged one! emoticon

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ELLEN0407 3/25/2011 9:23AM

  that is the cutest story i've ever read on spark. and what a cute dog!!! you are a very nice lady. have you see the guilty dog video on bing. his name is denver. he was on gma i think yesterday. also his video is on yahoo. such a cute dog and makes me smile and laugh even just thinking about him.

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9 months later!!!

Friday, March 18, 2011


Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north.

After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

'I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.'

'Don't worry,' Jack said.. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend...

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?"

"Yes, I do." Said Bob..

"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"

"Well, um, yes!," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out,'I have to admit that I did."

"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?"

"She just died and left me everything."

(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?... You know you smiled...now keep that smile for the rest of the day!)

---------
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Baby diapers and politicians should be changed often and usually for the same reasons.


emoticon

emoticonMary Anne

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

29MOMOF4 3/22/2011 11:34AM

    emoticon

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2CATS2LOVE1 3/20/2011 10:35PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LIZARDG7 3/19/2011 6:38AM

    This is great! You made my day! Thanks, Liz emoticon emoticon

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MCGS62 3/18/2011 10:05PM

    you got me on that one . I'm definitely going to repeat it to someone! emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/18/2011 10:05:39 PM

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KAYDE53 3/18/2011 4:10PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GEMINIAN1 3/18/2011 3:45PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GOOZLEBEAR 3/18/2011 3:17PM

    You did get me on that one!!! Cute! I will do my best to hang on to that smile!!!!!

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BUGSMIMI 3/18/2011 3:12PM

  Lol! You got me! : )

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BILLTMAN 3/18/2011 2:32PM

    Ok, you had me going there and then pulled the rug out from under me at the last minute. Good job! Funny!

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SHAPELY 3/18/2011 1:45PM

    Mary Anne you certainly had me thinking the No No Naught thing.
You know I have a 1 track mind, and I know everyone else thought the same thing.
Hugs Rosalyn

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OUBACHE 3/18/2011 12:05PM

    Good ending!

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PHEBESS 3/18/2011 11:47AM

    LOL!!!!!

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THETURTLEBEAR 3/18/2011 10:13AM

    You are right - the title did point me in "another" direction. HA HA on me! (and Bob!)
emoticon

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BLESSED2BEME 3/18/2011 9:56AM

    Oh my!

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EARTHMOTHR 3/18/2011 9:26AM

    HAH! emoticon

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ANKLLOYD 3/18/2011 9:01AM

    Such a cute story - I thought "oh my" at first but was smiling at the end. Happy Friday!

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St. Patrick's Day according to Maxine!!!

Thursday, March 17, 2011



























Hope you've all had a Happy St. Patrick's Day!

emoticon emoticonMary Anne

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BITTERBLUE1 3/18/2011 12:16PM

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TEDDYTEDDY 3/18/2011 10:48AM

    Thanks...I will have to bring these to work on MOnday. I have been nicknamed "Maxine" at work cause I wear a visor and sunglasses indoors due to light sensitivity. emoticon

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DROWSYMAGGIE 3/18/2011 9:56AM

    Oh, I love Maxine. Thanks for posting these. emoticon

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MOMS100 3/18/2011 9:37AM

    LOVE Maxine! A good laugh is a great way to start the day! emoticon

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BUTEAFULL 3/18/2011 1:57AM

    love me some Maxine
thanks

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SUGARPUNK52 3/17/2011 11:44PM

  Thank you for the smiles! Happy ST. Patrick's Day to you too!

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THETURTLEBEAR 3/17/2011 10:51PM

    Love the parting words! Maxine is the best!!

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IRENEHUD 3/17/2011 10:00PM

    Very funny thank you!

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GOOZLEBEAR 3/17/2011 9:59PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonPerfect for St. Patrick's Day humor!!!! Thanks Mary Ann!

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OLD FRIENDS!!!!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE,
SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.

Observations on Growing Older:

~Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them...but your
grandchildren are perfect!

~Going out is good.. Coming home is better!

~When people say you look "Great"... they add "for your age!"

~When you needed the discount, you paid full price. Now you get
discounts on everything... movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use
them.

~You forget names .... but it's OK because other people forgot they
even knew you!!!

~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better
chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.

~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything ....
especially square dancing.???????

~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you
really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.

~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than
he does in bed. It's called his "pre-sleep".

~Remember when your mother said, "Wear clean underwear in case you GET
in an accident"? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an
accident!

~You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married... Now, "I hope they STAY
married!"

~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF"
switch..

~When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem .... were unheard of, and a mouse was
something that made you climb on a table.

~You used to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?"... ???

~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it
anywhere.

~Your husband has a night out with the guys, but he's home by 9:00 P.M.
Next week it will be 8:30 P..M.

~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.

~Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

~Everybody whispers.

~Now that your husband has retired ... you'd give anything if he'd find
a job!

~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ... 2 of which you will
never wear.

~~~~But old is good in some things:
old songs,
old movies,
And best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!

Love you, "OLD FRIEND!" and YOUNG ones too!!!!

It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of
Life You Have Lived








4 stages of life





emoticon

emoticon emoticonMary Anne

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAINBOWFALLS 3/17/2011 11:31AM

    I love these and I swear they only sell sleevless!

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DKELLEY35 3/16/2011 7:55PM

    Awesome and everything is so true. It's great to be old, it means I can laugh at myself and the silly things I do now and I have an explanation for them all. They're called Senior moments.

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TOTHEFUTURE1 3/16/2011 7:29PM

    Haha
From a T shirt "Grandkids and Grandparents share a common enemy THE PARENTS."

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CATLADY52 3/16/2011 6:22PM

    Like them all. emoticon

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GEMINIAN1 3/16/2011 5:27PM

    Thanks for posting this I enjoyed reading it. Good stuff.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PEGGYO 3/16/2011 3:27PM

    Funny again.

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GOOZLEBEAR 3/16/2011 2:17PM

    Loved it and can sure identify with a lot of what it says!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHAPELY 3/16/2011 2:07PM

    I laughed my head off at these.
A truer words were never spoken.
Loved it all, and got a good laugh that you know I needed. Hugs Rosalyn

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THETURTLEBEAR 3/16/2011 1:35PM

    I BEG TO DIFFER! Ha ha. (Actually, a better statement would be "I resemble those remarks!") Funny stuff! I particularly like the pre-sleeping - DH is VERY fond of that!

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