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Priest and the Rabbi!!!!

Friday, August 03, 2012





A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.


After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a
requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?'

The rabbi responded,
"Yes, that is still one of our laws."

The priest then asked, "Have you
ever eaten pork?"

To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I
did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."

The priest nodded
in understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later, the rabbi
spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your
church
that you remain celibate?"

The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very
much a part of our faith."

The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you
ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"

The priest replied, "Yes,
rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my Faith."

The rabbi nodded
understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes.


Finally, the rabbi said, "Beats the heck out of a ham sandwich, doesn't
it?"


emoticon



emoticonMary Anne

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARGARITTM 8/6/2012 3:30PM

    Good one

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ILOVEROSES 8/4/2012 12:58PM

    emoticon

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ARTJAC 8/4/2012 1:16AM

    emoticon

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WORKOUTWITHPAM 8/3/2012 11:37PM

    emoticon emoticon

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CHACHAOREO 8/3/2012 9:23PM

    cute!

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ANHELIC 8/3/2012 7:56PM

    Oh, my. Really cute story. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CATLADY52 8/3/2012 6:55PM

    emoticon emoticon

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KATHRYNLP 8/3/2012 6:02PM

    For sure... LoL emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PHEBESS 8/3/2012 5:56PM

    Yup!

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SHARJOPAUL 8/3/2012 4:38PM

    LOL

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JEANNETTE59 8/3/2012 4:05PM

  emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 8/3/2012 4:03PM

    emoticon I think he's right!!

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 8/3/2012 3:49PM

    Thanks for the smile

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MCGS62 8/3/2012 3:06PM

    emoticon

thats not in the tracker !

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WOWEETOO 8/3/2012 2:59PM

    emoticon

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DOROTHYBERO 8/3/2012 12:17PM

    emoticon

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RUARUGBYNUT2 8/3/2012 11:50AM

    emoticon Hallelujah!

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GSWINNIE 8/3/2012 11:28AM

    AMEN!

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PEGGYO 8/3/2012 11:04AM

    LOL

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HILDABRAND 8/3/2012 10:51AM

    emoticon

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GINIEMIE 8/3/2012 10:39AM

    Okay, that was a good one.
emoticon emoticon

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ANNCHER 8/3/2012 10:32AM

    How Funny! Have a great day! Hugs! emoticon

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ERICADAWN1986 8/3/2012 10:02AM

    Lol!

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EGGBASKET1 8/3/2012 9:33AM

    THANKS FOR THE LAUGHS. ! NO COMPARISON !!!!

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CUSTOMSOUND79 8/3/2012 9:33AM

    Hahahahaha!

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LAC936 8/3/2012 9:02AM

    Too funny.

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SENATOR9 8/3/2012 8:59AM

    It sure does

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A day at the beach!!!!

Thursday, August 02, 2012









George was sunbathing naked at the beach in Jamaica.



For the sake of civility, and to keep "IT" from getting



sun burned, he had a hat over his private parts.



A woman walks past and says, snickering,



"If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat."



He raised an eyebrow and replied,



"If you were better looking it would lift itself." emoticon emoticon



emoticonMary Anne

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OVERACTIVEELBOW 8/7/2012 8:28AM

    emoticon

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SANDLADY48 8/4/2012 9:00AM

    Touche!

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MCGS62 8/3/2012 3:02PM

    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

luv it


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SENATOR9 8/3/2012 8:59AM

    Great come back

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Q8PRINCESS 8/3/2012 2:31AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ARTJAC 8/3/2012 2:25AM

    emoticon

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WOWEETOO 8/3/2012 1:43AM

    thanks for that for sure my blogs i follow are really on the fun side tonight for sure lol
the lady mary emoticon

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CATLADY52 8/2/2012 6:50PM

    emoticon emoticon

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CHACHAOREO 8/2/2012 5:07PM

    Best one yet!!!!!!

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1CRAZYDOG 8/2/2012 4:10PM

    emoticon

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RUARUGBYNUT2 8/2/2012 3:45PM

    emoticon

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ANNCHER 8/2/2012 3:02PM

    How cute! Have a great day! Hugs! emoticon

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 8/2/2012 2:17PM

    emoticon

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0309COOKIE 8/2/2012 2:04PM

    Lol.

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KAYDE53 8/2/2012 12:53PM

    emoticon emoticon

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EWL978 8/2/2012 11:37AM

    WONDERFUL!!!! emoticon

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JEANNETTE59 8/2/2012 11:32AM

  Too funny emoticon

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ANHELIC 8/2/2012 11:26AM

    Oh, what a good one. emoticon emoticon

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LINDAKAY228 8/2/2012 10:53AM

    Oh that's so funny! She should be glad he didn't lift the hat!

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 8/2/2012 10:29AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon DH and I are still laughing!! Thank you!!!

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HOLDINGMYOWN 8/2/2012 10:09AM

    Now Now...Mary Anne....no lady bashing from a lady.... emoticon

emoticonjoke!

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LAC936 8/2/2012 10:06AM

    emoticon

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SCRAPPINPOLLY 8/2/2012 10:04AM

    OMG LMAO! That is hilarious!

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The Funniest Staff Meeting Ever!

Wednesday, August 01, 2012





The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!) When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans. The only rule was they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable.


About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top 10 List.. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone! The top 10 were:

10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!

9. Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper.

8. Viagra, like a rock!

7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.

6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.

5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.

4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

3. Viagra, Home of the whopper!

2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!



And the unanimous number one slogan:


1. This is your peepee... This is your peepee on drugs.


emoticonMary Anne

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COPEMA 8/5/2012 7:41PM

    Oh Mary Anne,

That has to be one of your best and that's saying a lot! Thanks for the laughs!

Marsha

emoticon

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EGGBASKET1 8/2/2012 11:00AM

    LAUGHTER IS A GREAT WAY TO START THE DAY !!! THANKS. HUGS...EGG

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PEGGYO 8/2/2012 7:13AM

    emoticon

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Q8PRINCESS 8/2/2012 5:24AM

    emoticon

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    emoticon

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ARTJAC 8/2/2012 2:38AM

    emoticon

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SLIMMERKIWI 8/1/2012 10:57PM

    What a GREAT pick-me-up for me at the moment :-)

Kris xx

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NORASPAT 8/1/2012 10:32PM

    Very funny Thanks for the pick me up . Pat in Maine. emoticon emoticon

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SNEVIL1 8/1/2012 8:07PM

    Hilarious!

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LJCANNON 8/1/2012 6:15PM

    emoticon"This Is Your Pee-Pee On Drugs"!!! I almost snorted ice water!!!

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CATLADY52 8/1/2012 5:49PM

    Funny? You bet! emoticon

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JEANNETTE59 8/1/2012 3:03PM

  emoticon

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JEANNETTE59 8/1/2012 3:02PM

  emoticon

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 8/1/2012 1:24PM

    emoticon

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LINDAKAY228 8/1/2012 12:22PM

    Oh I loved that! Some humor can really help when things are stressful!

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SILVER1369 8/1/2012 12:06PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    emoticon

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GODDREAMDIVA1 8/1/2012 10:26AM

    emoticon

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CUDDLEY51 8/1/2012 10:13AM

    FUNNY!! emoticon

That is one very clever executive!!

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SLIMMERJESSE 8/1/2012 10:11AM

    Made me smile. Thanks!

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1CRAZYDOG 8/1/2012 10:10AM

    BWAHAHAHAHA!

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TAGSUIT2 8/1/2012 10:04AM

    That's why he's the boss, that was a great idea. Love to laugh,

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0309COOKIE 8/1/2012 9:59AM

    Lol.

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GINIEMIE 8/1/2012 9:40AM

    Loved them, smart boss-get the laughter going.

emoticon emoticon

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LEW0213 8/1/2012 9:38AM

    Still laughing about this one. Thanks, Mary Anne.

Linda

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ANHELIC 8/1/2012 9:21AM

    Awesome idea as a picker upper for the week. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EGALITAIRE 8/1/2012 9:14AM

    Very nice

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THEFLORIDAFAIRY 8/1/2012 9:11AM

    emoticonROTFL

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CHACHAOREO 8/1/2012 8:54AM

    Loved them!!!!!!

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BEWELL48 8/1/2012 8:52AM

    Smart boss. Quick minds to come up with great slogans. Thanks for a good laugh to start the day!

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PYNETREE 8/1/2012 8:44AM

    Too funny! Thanks!

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LAC936 8/1/2012 8:28AM

    Oh my!
emoticon

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SENATOR9 8/1/2012 8:27AM

    emoticon emoticon

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The Wife from Hell!!!

Tuesday, July 31, 2012







A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, ' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'


The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.


Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'


As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,


'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !!?'


The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'


As the officer makes out the second ticket for the “illegal” radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,


'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'


The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.


That's an automatic $75 fine.'


The driver says, Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'


The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'


And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'


The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'


(I love this part)



'Only when he's been drinking.!!!'


emoticonMary Anne

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VANESSASPATZ 8/6/2012 10:41AM

    emoticon

We know just what to say when those husbands get out of hand! lol

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MCGS62 8/3/2012 3:08PM

    HMMMMM

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SILVER1369 8/1/2012 12:08PM

    emoticon

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SHARJOPAUL 8/1/2012 10:25AM

    LOL

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GINIEMIE 8/1/2012 9:35AM

    I shared this one with Erik, he laughed. Thanks for the jokes they're great.
emoticon emoticon

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Q8PRINCESS 8/1/2012 12:44AM

    emoticon

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ARTJAC 7/31/2012 9:57PM

    emoticon

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CHRIS3874 7/31/2012 9:23PM

    LOL

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1CRAZYDOG 7/31/2012 8:37PM

    emoticon

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PAMNANGEL 7/31/2012 8:17PM

    emoticon

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    emoticon

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    emoticon

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CATLADY52 7/31/2012 5:41PM

    Great one! emoticon

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ASRMOM 7/31/2012 5:07PM

    I love the fact all this is going on and she is KNITTING! What would it take to get her out of her happy zone? I want to be there!

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NORASPAT 7/31/2012 5:01PM

    OK, Mybe that will cure his drinking. Pat in Maine. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PHEBESS 7/31/2012 4:55PM

    OMG funny!

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EGGBASKET1 7/31/2012 4:18PM

    GREAT ONE !!! THANKS !!!

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JEANNETTE59 7/31/2012 4:08PM

  emoticon emoticon

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LAC936 7/31/2012 3:51PM

    What a riot

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CHACHAOREO 7/31/2012 2:50PM

    sad but true!!!

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ANHELIC 7/31/2012 2:43PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KAYDE53 7/31/2012 2:40PM

    emoticon emoticon

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GERIKRAGH 7/31/2012 11:42AM

    That's funny. Thanks for sharing.

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LOVESLIFE48 7/31/2012 11:18AM

    emoticon emoticon

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GOOZLEBEAR 7/31/2012 11:04AM

    Love it!!!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 7/31/2012 10:59AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CATBEFIT 7/31/2012 10:41AM

    So Funny! I'm copying it in an email to my DH!

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DESERTJULZ 7/31/2012 10:33AM

    LOL!

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LINDAKAY228 7/31/2012 10:20AM

    Oh my gosh! Had me really laughing!

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AUNTB63 7/31/2012 9:58AM

    Oh my.....LOL Hugs!

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SENATOR9 7/31/2012 9:22AM

    That is a wife from hell emoticon

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NANCYRUBIO 7/31/2012 9:04AM

    Love it- remember those days!

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KATHRYNLP 7/31/2012 8:54AM

    Good Lord.. she must be a brunette! emoticon

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DOROTHYBERO 7/31/2012 8:54AM

    Too funny. Love it

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WORKOUTWITHPAM 7/31/2012 8:48AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SINDY01 7/31/2012 8:48AM

  lol:0)

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"What Is Couple Sex?"

Monday, July 30, 2012





An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grampa, what is couple sex?"


The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's old enough to know to ask the question,
then she's old enough to get a straight answer.


Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all
about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities
of intercourse.


When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement.


Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this question, honey?"


The little girl replied, "Grandma says that dinner will be ready in just a couple secs."



emoticonMary Anne


Better make sure you know WHAT they are asking!!!! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VANESSASPATZ 8/6/2012 10:42AM

    rofl!!!!!! Hilarious! emoticon

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MCGS62 8/3/2012 3:10PM

    luv it !!

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CUSTOMSOUND79 8/3/2012 9:34AM

    I'm subscibing to this blog!

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CHRIS3874 8/2/2012 10:07PM

    Too funny!!

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GINIEMIE 8/1/2012 9:43AM

    For certain subjects one MUST clarify why the question, Gramps will know better next time. He'll take a couple of secs to answer....l
emoticon
emoticon emoticon

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PAMNANGEL 7/31/2012 8:20PM

    emoticonGood going gramps!

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LAC936 7/31/2012 3:53PM

    emoticon

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SLIMLILA 7/31/2012 3:24PM

    This is even better than the one about the kid filling out the info card in his wallet and asked his mom what "sex" was...... emoticon

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PLMITCH 7/31/2012 11:54AM

    emoticon

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SHARJOPAUL 7/31/2012 8:38AM

    LOL

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 7/31/2012 8:20AM

    Gotta love Grandpas

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RSSSLHB 7/31/2012 8:19AM

    emoticon emoticon

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THROOPER62 7/31/2012 7:16AM

    emoticon emoticon

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    emoticon emoticon

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    emoticon

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    emoticon

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CINDYLUUU 7/30/2012 11:39PM

    Cute!

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SCOTMAMA 7/30/2012 11:25PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SAVINGHANNAH 7/30/2012 10:58PM

    emoticon

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    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    emoticon

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SANDYW1945 7/30/2012 8:38PM

    emoticon emoticon

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LJCANNON 7/30/2012 7:17PM

    emoticon emoticonTerrible!!

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CATLADY52 7/30/2012 7:06PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SNEVIL1 7/30/2012 6:50PM

    Haaa!

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 7/30/2012 6:00PM

    Yup, best clarify the question before giving the answer....

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PHEBESS 7/30/2012 5:57PM

    Poor Grampa!!!!

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LINDAKAY228 7/30/2012 5:05PM

    Be careful how you answer kids questions! Better clarify what they are asking first LOL

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1CRAZYDOG 7/30/2012 4:03PM

    All righty then. . . so much for passing along messages from Grandma!

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WORKOUTWITHPAM 7/30/2012 3:48PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JEANNETTE59 7/30/2012 3:48PM

  emoticon

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BUTEAFULL 7/30/2012 2:32PM

    emoticon

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EGGBASKET1 7/30/2012 1:56PM

    THANKS FOR THE LAUGHS !!!

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WOWEETOO 7/30/2012 12:39PM

    emoticon

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DOROTHYBERO 7/30/2012 12:32PM

    emoticon

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NORASPAT 7/30/2012 12:29PM

    O/OH What a flub Grandpa made .

I bet Grammy and Mommy are going to be upset. Pat in Maine emoticon

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EGALITAIRE 7/30/2012 11:48AM

    Always good to clarify the question.

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KATHRYNLP 7/30/2012 11:46AM

    emoticon emoticon

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WILSON425 7/30/2012 11:06AM

    emoticon

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STHAX10 7/30/2012 11:00AM

    emoticonWhat a wonderful way to start my Monday!!! Thanks for the smiles!!! emoticon

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PEGGYO 7/30/2012 10:44AM

    emoticon

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GOOZLEBEAR 7/30/2012 9:55AM

    That is priceless!!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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0309COOKIE 7/30/2012 9:46AM

    Lol.

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SENATOR9 7/30/2012 9:41AM

    emoticon

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ALLIEALLIE2 7/30/2012 9:36AM

    lol

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