MICYWALTON   21,852
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I've lost the spark

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

So there I was....having tracked everything I had eaten for the morning. Getting ready to go for a walk outside since it wasn't really THAT cold outside...excited to do a few sit-ups even. Then it happened- an emotional trigger. I knew what it was, but that didn't stop my immediate reaction...I ate...a lot. I went to McDonald's and snuck in two cheeseburgers and a small fry. And then I wanted to cry. I don't understand why I can't get it through my thick skull that things like this are going to happen. I can't let negative comments and feelings get me anymore but they do.

I haven't been doing as much as I could on this challenge, and I know it. I was really trying for a jump start yesterday, and it just blew up in my face. I'm feeling lost, and I know I've lost that spark that really motivated me at the beginning of the challenge. Everyone was so supportive of everyone else...it was so nice! Now I'm feeling bitter and thinking of quitting...I'm not really helping my team members. ugh! I haven't even been following my team that much lately because I feel worthless compared to the others that have been doing so great. Not really sure what I want to do anymore.

Things that I know:

1. I don't want to weigh as much as I do anymore.
2. I don't like the way I feel in my body. I feel sluggish and tired (part of this is b/c of my job).
3. I want to feel healthy again.
4. I want to be around for my kids when they're older. I want to be the mother my mom never was for me.
5. I've seen that I CAN do it...but I'm lacking motivation.
6. My mind is my own worst enemy.

I think the most important one for me is number four. I can do this, but I really need to find some motivation. I'm waiting on a call back from my insurance company to find out if I can get a discounted gym membership, and then I'll start pushing myself to go after work. I would love to hear feedback from others on how they got over the slump...I think I need a big push in the tush!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EVER-HOPEFUL 11/4/2012 11:09AM

    hi my love you are not letting the team down at all you can only do that if you quit which you are not going to do,right.now that is said lets get on with it and go out with a bang for the end of the challenge,you can do this love afterall you are a woman and a viking at that.we can do this together.i am also struggling at the moment with being ill. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHIRLEYX 10/31/2012 11:41AM

    Michele, I've been through some ups and downs myself and the one thing I've learned is that when I am discouraged that is when it is most important to Spark. Hang in there my friend, emoticon

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MICYWALTON 10/31/2012 4:40AM

    Thank you, everyone, for the great advice and words of encouragement. These comments really got me through yesterday, and I even got up and went for a walk yesterday afternoon. My inner fat kid was screaming the entire way. I'm going to start with the basics again and work my way back to where I was. Thanks again for everything. emoticon

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STOPPLAYING2011 10/30/2012 9:35PM

    emoticon emoticon keep believing in your self and don,t let the crabby days get you to lose your strive recollect your self before your mind continues to make you have doubt here on spark we are all working towards the same goal that is to get fit and healthy it may not be easy but your worth the struggle emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/30/2012 9:37:57 PM

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SAASHA17 10/30/2012 7:31PM

    Hey

this was me last week but u know what this is a challenge and eveyrone has their ups and downs...u need to find the motivation...dont let one trigger pull u down..u have come this far and u have to finish this..so keep pushing...u can do this....ya...

HUgs
Manasa

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FITNHEALTHYKAL 10/30/2012 6:06PM

    If it wasn't hard it wouldn't be a challenge! You signed on for 12 weeks and absolutely we were all on fire at first and now just past mid way MOST are feeling sluggish and less committed so that is the time to kick it up, change it up and rev it up. Reach out (you just did) and dig in! Participation not perfection. Your team DOES depend on you and are there for you too. Reach out and find an accountability partner. Text each other. Spark each other. Challenge each other. Together we CAN and WILL! There is always someone here 24/7!

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TRUNKJUNK 10/30/2012 6:02PM

    Mchele we have all been there, where you just lose your Mojo, but the key is you can't give up. I know that sounds so cliche but it's the truth. You're only defeated when you stop trying. You're gonna have bad days, not so good days and good days. It comes with the territory. Everyone has given you some great advice. I don't know which will work for you but you owe it to yourself and your children to try. I just want you to know that the Pink Vikings ae here for you. Whatever I can do to support you I'm there. Don't quit, surround yourself around others that are doing the things you want to do as well. Birds of the feather flock together. We're good for each other.

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HOLLYL7 10/30/2012 3:30PM

    I can relate to your blog. If only weight loss worked in such a way that we can forego one trip to McD's and see an immediate, and substantial change on the scale...but it doesn't work that way! After a hard to at work, all I want to do some nights is have easy, comfort food. I don't want to log it, limit it or think about it. However, I have to tell myself that, in the bigger picture, I don't want a life that is all about sitting in bed with the TV remote and a plate of food! Try and hold on to the good feelings you can generate by letting the good decisions and non-scale-victories add up...one by one. We CAN find ways to soothe ourselves without food. We CAN take baby steps in the right direction. Quitting BLC, giving in to your every craving - that will feel free and good for the time it takes to stuff the food down, and then it will feel lousy. Take a deep breath, and start down that path to health and fitness...one baby step at a time!

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PRIZM96 10/30/2012 12:36PM

    There are so many great comments and awesome advice already here. :-) For me, I approach it with a "Fake it til I make it" type of attitude. When I'm in a slump, I don't feel like exercising first thing in the morning, but I sluggishly get up, dressed and push play. If I didn't put my all into it, then so be it. At least I did something. If I don't feel like eating healthy while my family eats pizza, then I do something like eat 1-2 pcs, then LEAVE. I know that may sound weird, but I have been none to just up and go til they're done eating. LOL I fake my way through the motions, until all of a sudden I've got the spark back that fuels the motivation.
I like what JENGOJENGO said above: "It has to hurt more to stay the same than it does to make a change before you can do it." If you are still going to McDonald's to get those cheeseburgers and fries ON A REGULAR BASIS, then you are allowing your immediate gratification take over. (McD's doesn't have to be cut out entirely, ya know!)
It's all so very hard.
It's hard to lose weight
It's hard to gain weight or stay at an overweight status
It's hard to be healthy
It's hard to be unhealthy

.......Choose your hard You've got this!

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KRICKET57 10/30/2012 12:13PM

    Making the right choice is always the hardest. You have all the reasons to make the right choices. I think you should rearrange your list and move the "I don'ts" to the bottom of the list. When you thinking of making the wrong choice, pull out your list and ask yourself if you really want that "cheeseburger or whatever."

I always find the reminder of why I am making the changes is the best weapon against the unwise choices. Hang in there! You are not alone and we have faith in you. You can keep moving forward.

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TACONES 10/30/2012 10:55AM

    Take it one day at a time. This is a lifestyle change. NEver, ever give up. Take everything in small chunks so it won't be so overwhelming. emoticon emoticon

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LADYK1294 10/30/2012 10:43AM

  Hang in there we all have our moments but emoticon

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BELLSES 10/30/2012 10:32AM

    I know you don't know me, I saw your blog on the side of the BLC challenge, but wanted to say emoticon Don't give up, I'm sure your team wants you to stay and do your best.


Comment edited on: 10/30/2012 10:32:57 AM

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PLAYBLUES22 10/30/2012 10:12AM

    Sweetie I really know how it gets sometimes it is hard to stay focus on some days

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AELI2468 10/30/2012 10:05AM

    I just got through a slump and have been back on track for a week. here are some things that helped me:
-MAKE A PLAN- even if you don't meet the plan 100%, keep making the plan. Eventually it will stick. It took me almost 2 weeks of making a plan before I finally was able to really stick with it.
- GET INVOLVED with your team again. People who post more seem to stay on track more
- Force yourself to walk for 10 minutes each day. Just to get the habits started again
-Write down everything you eat: the good, bad and ugly! Just doing that, even if you are choosing less healthy food will help.
- Journal: clearly you are having some emotional stuff go on. Journalling may help get those feelings out so you don't feel the need to eat (much easier said than done).

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-Elizabeth

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LOOKINGUP2012 10/30/2012 10:02AM

    Some days are diamonds, some days are stones. I used to be addicted to BK Jr whoppers. I'd reward myself with one for walking a mile to get it, then I'd walk home. Things are changing here. You've already had success. When I first started SP I'd say to myself, if I just do what they say I should, I'll be where I want to be. I made myself a follower and them the leader. Kinda shifted some responsibility that way I know but - it helped. Best wishes! emoticon

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PENNYSAVER2 10/30/2012 9:57AM

    Bad habits are hard to break. Forgive yourself and start over Today. You have to just take one day at a time and focus on those things that are important to you.
Don't give up. You are NOT alone in your struggles. emoticon

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HELLENACKERMAN 10/30/2012 8:52AM

    Great blog!! Just remember that we are all here for you!! emoticon

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JENGOJENGO 10/30/2012 7:55AM

  I can really relate to what you are going through. It is part of the process. It's like any addiction--you have to hit a low before you are ready for change. It has to hurt more to stay the same than it does to make a change before you can do it. Think of that day as a starting point! It can only go up from there :)

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BLC 20 Mid-Way Challenge

Monday, October 22, 2012

So for the challenge this week, we're supposed to review our challenge goals that were made back in September. I went back to look through my goals, and I'm just underwhelmed at what I haven't done so far this challenge. emoticon

1. Walk or jog at least 6 days a week (trackable goal) When the weather starts getting bad, I'll have to join a gym to keep this up.
---> I haven't been doing this. I've lost my mojo on this...really need to get a gym membership. It's really starting to get cold and I lack motivation when it's cold outside to go walking.

2. Weight loss goal is 10-15 pounds for this round (again, trackable)

----> I'm about halfway (7 pounds, estimated), but I have lost about 16 pounds since I started on the waiting list for this challenge to start...guess I'm still doing okay here.

3. Walk 3 flights of stairs without getting winded ( not sure if this is trackable...but I'll be able to tell the difference)

----> I have been walking up and down stairs, but I still get winded. I'm going to chalk this up to a work in progress. =)

4. Eat 3-4 servings of freggies at least 5 days a week. (trackable)

----> Yeah, this isn't happening. I HAVE gotten better about what I put in my mouth, but I'm still having issues with vegetables. This is a deep-rooted issue for me, but I'm working through it. I'm still eating spinach salads, but they're getting a little boring at the moment. Anybody have any ideas?

Okay, so that's where I'm at. I'm seriously feeling sluggish with this competition right now. I don't know if it's because of my inner fat kid, or it's just that I'm starting to feel jealous of the weight that other people have dropped. Granted, I haven't given it my all, but I'm worried that if I do, I'll burn out for sure. I dunno.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHIRLEYX 10/22/2012 9:48PM

    You are doing great on your weight loss. 7 pounds is great. I think that you might have too many goals for this challenge. Maybe pick one and go with it. emoticon emoticon

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EVER-HOPEFUL 10/22/2012 5:48PM

    wow 7 lbs lost,going up and down stairsweather out of breath or not is still a great achievement so donīt knock it.you are still in the challange arenīt you?then you are a success.let us go out with a bang the rest of this challange.we can dop it,you can do it. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

So I was looking back over my goals for October...boy have I messed up on these. emoticon

1) Needing to start walking- Okay, I've done this one...though not as much as I would like to be doing. I know I can kick my butt and get moving more.

2) Plan my meals- total fail on this one. If it's not part of the weekend challenge it doesn't seem to get done. I know this is a work in progress, but it's hard admitting defeat on this one. I have done better about the types of food that I bring into the house, though...that's one plus. =)

3) Drink water- still a 50/50 on that. I'm having a hard time breaking the soda habit again...especially with working so many days in a row...it's hard to not drink a mt. dew to try to stay awake, though I'm sure coffee would do far better.

4) Find motivation- yup, still a fail. Betty from the Pink Vikings posted a Monday motivation post all about losing the motivation and how to find it...think I might need to print it out and stick it to my bedroom door.

5) Find some nice clothes....I got this! There's some garage sale sites on facebook that I found some really nice "work-dress" clothes. The lady was selling them for $5 a shirt, so I now have some interview shirts if the need arises (which I'm hoping will be soon!) I showed them to my boyfriend, and he liked all but one (a pea green sweater...I'm still not sure about that one either, quite honestly), so I feel like I did ok on this goal. Might need to find a few pairs of jeans still. I hardly have the need to wear street clothes anymore, so I don't have a whole lot that look good on me.

6) Find some "me" time....hmm...not sure if I've really done this one or not. I have taken long hot baths (something I never used to enjoy but now relish!), but I still haven't done any real pampering for myself. I'm hoping to make an appointment to get my hair colored this weekend. *fingers crossed*

So I took my boyfriend grocery shopping on Friday, and I have to say that it does make a difference having him with me. I spent wayyyy too much, but some of it was staples that we were out of, so all in all I'm guessing it wasn't terrible. He's been cooking super healthy food all weekend. Yesterday, though, my inner fat kid won out. I was craving grease and cheese, and I know I could have ordered a smaller burger and probably felt just as satisfied, but inner fat kid wanted the baconator (doh!). So I messed up really bad yesterday, and I know it...I'm just hoping that my one super bad day won't neutralize all the really great food and the exercise I've done for the week. I have a massive migraine right now, which I know is partly from lack of sleep but also from all that sodium and grease. Today, I'm drinking water (4 cups down so far) and I've had a Luna bar and am working on a greek yogurt right now. Also, a cup of coffee to nurse the migraine. =( Really just hoping that weigh-in tomorrow isn't completely terrible. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNAPSHOTSTACY 10/18/2012 9:59AM

    I've found, during my weight loss journey, that thrift stores are TOTALLY my friend. :-) Of course... I've basically been renting my clothes from them. Buy something, wear it for a couple of weeks, donate it back, rinse & repeat.
Often, I'm even able to find nice stuff with the tags still on them!

To help increase your water intake, try adding some of the flavored liquid Stevia! I put a dropper full into my 1 litre water bottle. My favorites are the peppermint flavor & the root beer flavor. It cuts the "chlorinated' taste & gives a bit of sweet.

Oh! And, Zevia (the soda sweetened with Stevia) has a Mt Dew flavor! (http://www.zevia.com/flavors) I get mine at Whole Foods... but if you don't have one of those in your neck of the woods, I know you can order it from Amazon.com as well.

I've found that when I'm in my 'afternoon slump' - just getting up and walking around a little helps. Do a couple jumping jacks to get the blood pumping. Eat an apple (they wake you up more than coffee!) Or, sometimes, I just break down and have a cup of iced black coffee.

Just keep plugging along, It's definitely a journey. And, you'll have slips & slides along the way, but the important thing is to keep pointed in the right direction overall.
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EGALITAIRE 10/16/2012 3:59PM

    Failure only happens if you stop learning, correcting and growing. You already know it is a process - focus on your progress, not on the imperfections.

When we continue to make small adjustments and progress, in a few months we will look back and be amazed at how far we have come.

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EVER-HOPEFUL 10/16/2012 7:02AM

    emoticon remember every second is a new chance to start afresh so make every seond count. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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October 2012 Goals

Wednesday, October 03, 2012

New Month, New Goals!

1) NEED to start walking! I've been really sick this past week, and I've honestly missed walking and jogging when I can. The weather channel says it's supposed to start snowing tonight (ugh!) and it's going to be pretty nasty from then on, so maybe it's time to look into a gym membership.

2) Plan my meals. I really liked the weekend challenge we had this past weekend....it had a challenge to plan your meals out. I actually found that it does make a difference...and it's so nice to be able to know what's for dinner before I have to go rummaging through the freezer last minute...such a great feeling! And yesterday I purchased a pork tenderloin because it was on sale and it's on the menu for later this week. yay!

3) DRINK WATER! I've gotten lazy about this this past week, especially with being sick with a cold. It's easier to have something like a soda clean my palette when I can't really taste anything then a glass of water and the constant cough drops. Now, granted, I have still been drinking water, but not as much as I should have been. I found my water bottle yesterday (it was MIA) and I had four servings in nothing flat!

4) Find Motivation. I'm having a little bit of a roadblock..at least I was before I got sick. I just keep seeing all these people losing so much weight every week, and I keep thinking there's no way that I'll ever lose that much in one week. It's a little depressing....I'm feeling like maybe I'm in the wrong challenge to start. Maybe I should have started with something that's not so challenging. But then I think, any other challenge wouldn't have a great support group involved, and if I hadn't done this challenge I wouldn't have met such great ladies. Deep down, I know that it shouldn't matter about the other people that lose so much each week...that I need to do what's best for me, which is a few pounds a week. My competitive side still doesn't like it much...lol

5) Find some nice clothes. I may have an interview for a new job later this month, but I know that everything I have in my closet is stretched out and looks terrible on me. I need to go shopping, but I still don't feel good doing it. I need to get started on this...wish me luck!

6) Find some "me" time. I still am putting everyone before me. Even this past week while I've been sick, I was cleaning bathrooms and disinfecting sinks to make sure that everyone else didn't catch this. Don't know how much good it did, but at least I tried. I did get a lot of extra sleep this week, though, which was really nice (even if it was for a terrible reason, lol)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EVER-HOPEFUL 10/4/2012 7:30AM

    sounds good to me love.hope all goes well at the interview and that you can find what you are looking for to wear. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SPARKCHANTAL 10/3/2012 5:15AM

    don't forget: 'enjoy life'!

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GHOSTFLAMES 10/3/2012 5:01AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BLC 20 Week 3 Goals

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

All right, so week 2 didn't go according to plan. Life got in the way. I didn't do as bad as I had thought I had. Only ended up gaining 0.8 of a pound. I was really proud of myself for doing almost an hour's worth of a workout yesterday. My body's sore, but not too sore (just lets me know I'm alive!).

So what do I need to do to keep my motivation up this week? Hmm...I know I need to make myself a priority, but how? First, I need to keep my inner fat kid in check. Second, I need to keep moving, no matter what. Third, I need to keep track of my food intake.

My biggest problem is my inner fat kid. She whines...a lot! Tells me I shouldn't HAVE to work out...it's hot outside and now we're sweating. WHY do we have to take this walk? Why can't we just go home and eat those chocolate chips in the freezer? Ugh! She can be so annoying. I finally just ignored her yesterday and did my workout anyways...felt good, but man! was she mad at me...she'll get over it though. I feel better, and that's what matters. I know that I need to appease her in small ways or she'll rear her ugly little head and before I know it, a whole bag of candy will be gone and I'll be left holding the wrappers...no bueno! So maybe I can do just a handful of those chocolate chips with a spoonful of peanut butter. I crave crunchy more then I do sweet...maybe I could grab some of those 100 calorie packs at the store next time I go.

I have a serious problem with getting moving if I've opted out of working out for a few days. It's just really hard to WANT to get up and dressed and out the door. I need to stop with my excuses, and I need to get dressed to the shoes before my body has realized what happened. I honestly think I need to work out for even just a few minutes a day to keep that momentum.



I have noticed that on the days that I track what I eat, I don't eat as much. Instead, I drink a ton more water. It's like I feel guilty if I have to put that extra bite of mashed potatoes on the tracker, so I just don't eat it. It feels really good to see a deficit of calories for the day, and knowing that if I go out and have a special meal with my family on the weekend, that I'm not going to feel too guilty about it. I do need to increase my veggies though. Got one in last night. I think I just need to start buying them already cut and cleaned. That seems to help with my motivation to eat them. Granted, it costs a little more, but I think it may just be worth it.

I know that I can do this. It's just going to take a couple extra pushes from me to get me there. I look at all the people on my team that work out 2 or 3 hours a day, and I can't help but feel jealous, but I know that their situations might be completely different from mine and they may have been at this just a little bit longer than I have. I'll get there though! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EVER-HOPEFUL 9/28/2012 6:51AM

    keep on keep on and you will get there in the end love.rememeber to train dirty,eat clean and row hard. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GOALIE_GIRL1 9/26/2012 12:46PM

    LOL at your 'inner fat kid'! That's too funny! I have to workout in the morning while my inner fat kid is still asleep and can't talk me out of it. :D

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ELAYNE39 9/26/2012 9:51AM

    Tell your inner fat kid to stuff a sock in it! LOL. We all have a nagging little voice at some point. Glad to see you are figuring out how to ignore her. I agree tracking what you eat helps A LOT. Keep at it. Life does sometimes get it the way, but it's just an obstacle to go over. Going back over the past week and figuring out what worked, what didn't work and what you might do differently is a big part of getting the weight loss you want. Way to go for doing that. And seriously, shut that inner fat kid up.....she is so annoying!

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