Wednesday, March 06, 2013
Take that, powderpuff!
Yeah, I am talking to you! I am sick of being sidelined with weakness, sickness, or just plain ol' laziness. There, I said, laziness! Not when it comes to work. Not when it comes to figuring out the oh so serious issue my client is facing that only I can figure out. Not a smidge of laziness. No siree Bob. But ask myself to do one push-up, one crunch, one stinkin' walk around the block, and I am just too tuckered to do it.
What is that about?
Since when did I give up on myself and throw myself to the wolves. I know exactly what to do, AND I know what it takes to get it done.
Belief in oneself
and sometimes, it takes a village - but that is what Sparkpeople is --- a village of we get it, we got it, and by golly you can have it too, just freaking do it already.
Whew, it is exhausting waking up, isn't it? : )
Saturday, February 23, 2013
I sat down on a two-seater on a train and there was room to spare between me and the gent next to me. Noticeable room. No longer the squish yourself in, try not to get noticed, please don't sigh and be obvious to show that I am probably crushing you and you want to move your seat, or you get up and do.
No, there was room, and I could feel it and not just experience if with a look. It was a feeling. Air space. And then a surprise happened. I woke up. It was a dream, but it was one of those it felt so vivid and real to me that I was not quite tethered to earth. It felt like I was sitting there, and I had room to spare.
So what that it was a dream. Well, maybe not so much of a dream, but a premonition. It is a sign of things to come. It is an indelible memory etched in my brain. Now that I believe it, I am going to make it happen.
Friday, February 22, 2013
There is only one way to describe my morning: exhilarating, especially this one tiny little piece.
If you have read my last blog, you know I sprained my knee and I have been struggling a bit while walking around. In the short term, I have a cane which is helping, along with some meds, and a knee brace (which will be part of tomorrow's experiment and no doubt, the subject of another blog.)
YESTERDAY, I didn't think I was going to have enough time during the allotted traffic signal when it was my legal time to walk. I felt like I was pushing it to make it across the street in the time before the "walk" went to "don't walk" and even then it was a barely-made-it moment. whew.
TODAY, I still felt the need to push but when I crossed to the other side, I had a full 5 seconds to spare on the clock. Happy dance! Those 5 seconds felt like an eternity, no flashing signal, admonishing me on, just 5 free seconds. It was a moment of glory.
The remainder of the day has not being without its pain and strain on the leg, and the realization that I am not ready for strenuous walking just yet, but it does give me a fair amount of hope that it will be coming, and I will be ready. After all, I had 5 seconds to spare!
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
I've never been speedy gonzalez, but I feel like it this morning. A few days ago, I sprained my knee and my activity plummeted. When I had to go to work, my walking was either excruciatingly slow or an over pronounced limp. Not pretty at best, but frustrating, woeful and hard not to feel depressed about it. What I kept thinking about though, was one of my friends who broke his leg a couple of YEARS ago and is still going through surgeries and rehab stints. I thought about soldiers who lost their legs and would give one minute to be where I am. In the house, it was not much better, and even yesterday I thought about folks who get trapped in their house because of fear. I was afraid to walk down the steps to leave my house, but I braced myself against the door and the siding on the house and managed to get out. (and miraculously in!)
This morning when I left the house, I stood on the front steps until the neighbors drove away. I did my best to look like I was waiting for someone. ha! When I got enough courage to go, (and it was freezing cold!), I did it with the help of a cane and holding onto the bush and it was so much better than yesterday.
That is how progress feels! It takes over you and when you realize it is so much better than the last time you did it, it is like a tail waggin' (if I had a tail), whoop whoop hollerin' feeling that takes a hold inside of you and you want to SHOUT YESSSSSSSS!!! I DID IT!!!!!!!
It is humbling to take a few baby steps, quite literally, and then feel free enough to walk a few steps. It reminded me to not lean on my power, but to share it with my higher power and continue to believe and improve. This was one of those life changing moments I had this morning on my steps! Yes, you can improve. Yes, you can make progress, and pardon the pun, but I am doing it one little baby step at a time!!!!!!
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
I am reminded of this key to my success every single day. For me, there is no greater lesson, and one I have to learn over and over again ---- than loving myself. When I love myself, I respect myself enough to call myself out when I am off kilter, or giving into bad choices, because it seems easier at the time.
"Seems easier" like grabbing whatever without thought and putting it in mouth, does not take into account, how that so-called morsel will end up detracting me from my goals, adding fat to an already extended belly, more wearing and tearing of my joints, and worse yet how it chips away at my self esteem for not being courageous enough to stick to it just for me.
Victory is mine when I take ACTION, no matter how small it might be or seem to plant steps in the right direction and I will get to admire my growth in a good way!
Here is the tiny path that I am following now. I am not eating a daily scone for breakfast. Some days, I am still going to have them, but I did not today, and I did not yesterday, and slowly, ever so slowly I am flexing my muscles to do more, bigger, and better, and above all, to believe in myself that I am worthy, capable and by gosh, I am going to do it, even if it is just pushing away one scone at a time.
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