Wednesday, February 20, 2013
I've never been speedy gonzalez, but I feel like it this morning. A few days ago, I sprained my knee and my activity plummeted. When I had to go to work, my walking was either excruciatingly slow or an over pronounced limp. Not pretty at best, but frustrating, woeful and hard not to feel depressed about it. What I kept thinking about though, was one of my friends who broke his leg a couple of YEARS ago and is still going through surgeries and rehab stints. I thought about soldiers who lost their legs and would give one minute to be where I am. In the house, it was not much better, and even yesterday I thought about folks who get trapped in their house because of fear. I was afraid to walk down the steps to leave my house, but I braced myself against the door and the siding on the house and managed to get out. (and miraculously in!)
This morning when I left the house, I stood on the front steps until the neighbors drove away. I did my best to look like I was waiting for someone. ha! When I got enough courage to go, (and it was freezing cold!), I did it with the help of a cane and holding onto the bush and it was so much better than yesterday.
That is how progress feels! It takes over you and when you realize it is so much better than the last time you did it, it is like a tail waggin' (if I had a tail), whoop whoop hollerin' feeling that takes a hold inside of you and you want to SHOUT YESSSSSSSS!!! I DID IT!!!!!!!
It is humbling to take a few baby steps, quite literally, and then feel free enough to walk a few steps. It reminded me to not lean on my power, but to share it with my higher power and continue to believe and improve. This was one of those life changing moments I had this morning on my steps! Yes, you can improve. Yes, you can make progress, and pardon the pun, but I am doing it one little baby step at a time!!!!!!
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
I am reminded of this key to my success every single day. For me, there is no greater lesson, and one I have to learn over and over again ---- than loving myself. When I love myself, I respect myself enough to call myself out when I am off kilter, or giving into bad choices, because it seems easier at the time.
"Seems easier" like grabbing whatever without thought and putting it in mouth, does not take into account, how that so-called morsel will end up detracting me from my goals, adding fat to an already extended belly, more wearing and tearing of my joints, and worse yet how it chips away at my self esteem for not being courageous enough to stick to it just for me.
Victory is mine when I take ACTION, no matter how small it might be or seem to plant steps in the right direction and I will get to admire my growth in a good way!
Here is the tiny path that I am following now. I am not eating a daily scone for breakfast. Some days, I am still going to have them, but I did not today, and I did not yesterday, and slowly, ever so slowly I am flexing my muscles to do more, bigger, and better, and above all, to believe in myself that I am worthy, capable and by gosh, I am going to do it, even if it is just pushing away one scone at a time.
Monday, February 11, 2013
I planned last night for 2 pieces of pizza. I ate them. I enjoyed them, mostly. The crust was a little sturdy, but still mostly enjoyable. And then I stopped. I think I threw hubby for a loop by just having those two slices. Nope. I planned for two and that's just what I am having.
Every night is not a 2-slice night, but there is victory in progress!
What are you doing for yourself that gives you a little victory, sparkies?
Wednesday, February 06, 2013
When you limit your vision (as I have), sometimes all you can manage is getting from Point A to Point B. Lately, my life feels all about work, and what I can do to get ahead, and I am getting ahead. The deal is not yet inked but I have taken on tons of new responsibilities and once the re-org shakes out, out pops the title and level I have been working for.
Great. All great.
But, what else?
What else is there? I have a tendency to terrorize myself when I am faced with new challenges with a head full of doubt. I have a tendency to think I don't matter in all of this when I know the exact opposite is true (I matter the most.)
Yesterday I was having a meeting with one of my new direct reports and he suffers from lack of self. Deeply. In my head, even I am not that bad, and actually I am not, but I started looking at myself through his eyes, (or rather my perception of his perception ...back up while I get a little deep) and I started to see myself in a new way.
I wanted to shake, rattle and roll my body. I need to be able to breathe more easily, move more freely, do more without major planning of where and when I need to be somewhere. Oy, there are some difficulties, but really all is well if I build myself a better life and a better way of living.
That's just it, the end result will be something I want because I will have put all of the pieces into place. I can't get there from here without taking all of the steps in between. There is no shortcut to Point B. I will get there when I get there.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
How's this for inspired post? It's 2:30am Saturday morning and I just climbed out of the shower.
Reason 74 for shedding the weight, getting healthier, etc is RING TOSS.
Pardon me if this is TMI, but a reason like this is a motivating factor for me. Why is it so hard to bend over and get my underwear on? Seriously. The heavier I am, the less agile and flexible I am and the harder it is to get those darn things on without sitting down. Even then it is not that easy, but standing up, it resembles a three ring circus.
I am so tired of trying different tactics, rolling them up, tossing them on the floor to step through. It is embarrassing, even though I AM THE ONLY ONE THERE. How weird is that? I am embarrassed in front of myself. Go ahead. Wrap your head around that one. And while you are it, drop by for some ring toss. : )
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