Saturday, October 06, 2012
I felt like crap earlier this week. My ankle hurt, I was very tired, and a bit cranky. Man, what could it be? I couldn't help but think.....is it something I am eating?
Today I bought almond butter, almonds, walnuts, a few snacks, and lots of produce. LOTS: jicama, apples, mineolas, mandarins, broccoli, carrots, parsnips and kale.
Kale? what the...kale? I don't know what to do with it, but I am going to try to do something. I am pretty sure my body is craving something better. I am stopping my quest to lose weight, temporarily. I am going to eat to FEEL BETTER. I am going to take care of myself in a different way to feel better. That is all. I am done abusing my body in the name of coping. I am going to treat myself to a wellness break, just so I can feel better.
What do you do to make yourself feel better, sparkies?
Tuesday, September 04, 2012
At no time have I felt it is as important as it was right now ---
read the label before you eat it.
Here's what I missed:
Contains: Milk, Wheat, Tilapia
Who thinks to look in their yogurt for TILAPIA?
So I called the number on the label and here's what I was told.
"Tilapia is used to make the fruit mousse fluffy."
(Hate to burst Quaker's bubble, but I did not notice the fluffiness).
Then I asked a key question: "What part of the tilapia is used?"
I was put on a brief hold and then came to learn the horrifying thought that I cannot get out of my head.
The part that is used is the "FISH SKIN"
Aaaaah, like Lucy in Peanuts, I need Iodine! aaaaaah! I ate fish skin...in my yogurt! That is not what I had in mind.
Take my advice, learned from hindsight...READ THE LABEL BEFOREHAND and ask questions!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Whatever it is that makes the essence of who you are needn't always be the same. You are welcome to re-invent yourself any time you'd like. Yes, really.
When I was driving home from work tonight, I realized it was the second day this week where I felt the true sense of incredible satisfaction with who I am and who I am becoming.
I am finally, shall I say, settling down with myself. I am embracing myself as a warm, compassionate, kind, giving, funny, friendly woman. Yes, I am all of those things, and not only am I accepting myself as that person...I am appreciating it. I am also letting others appreciate it as I am and not getting wigged out by things that would have set me on edge before.
I attended a luncheon today that included a few high level people, as well as several people I did not know along with some folks I have known for years. In such a situation as this, I might have been jittery, feeling insecure and shy and wanting to do anything but stand out.
Not so, today. I introduced myself to several folks I had not met, and talked freely to the big shots. I laughed, I relaxed as well as I could during lunch. The food was great - supremely healthy (salmon, spinach salad, grilled peaches, etc) and I even blurted out "SALAD!" when I saw that awesome bowl. I would have been more relaxed at lunch if I could have trusted to chair to hold me without fear. It was a little flimsier than I would like, but I tried to hold most of my weight on my leg and I did a good job.
When I was leaving the luncheon (probably before most folks), I made a point of thanking the organizers, and visiting each table and wishing folks well. I am pretty sure I stood out but in a good way.
The point of this happy memory is that I have not always been this way. I am a former shy girl who feels comfortable to be out in public now. I have a welcoming and friendly attitude which was very much on display today. I am feeling really good about who I am and who I am becoming.
Every day, I am evolving more into the me that I want to be.
So I say to you, dear sparkies, who do you want to be?
Saturday, July 21, 2012
I have a lot going on in my head right now, and I will write it all down once I sort it out - but in the meantime, I am learning something I have struggled with for a long time.
I can never do anything good enough that it is going to make someone love me.
That's not how it happens. I am loveable; I just can't DO something to get it. It is something that is freely given without consequence.
It has not stopped me from trying and BELIEVING that if I do certain things, than I will get out of it what I want, because in a way, the person would be "forced" to love me.
Well, just finally acknowledging that it does not work that way. Believe me, I have tried this repeatedly and often. Nope. doesn't work.
HOWEVER, WHAT DOES WORK AND WILL WORK FOR ME ---- is acknowledging, realizing, understanding, and yes, believing with all of my heart, that the things I do ------- need to be done for ME alone. For my satisfaction, for my health, for my own acceptance.
Everything else is off the table. I just have to be me and live up to my own expectations. I cannot control any of the rest of it, and that's all there is to it.
I just have to do it for me. Simplifies things a bit. It would help, perhaps, if I wasn't so stubborn. I would stop fighting this, and just freaking do it already.
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