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Re-Define Yourself

Friday, August 31, 2012

Whatever it is that makes the essence of who you are needn't always be the same. You are welcome to re-invent yourself any time you'd like. Yes, really.

When I was driving home from work tonight, I realized it was the second day this week where I felt the true sense of incredible satisfaction with who I am and who I am becoming.

I am finally, shall I say, settling down with myself. I am embracing myself as a warm, compassionate, kind, giving, funny, friendly woman. Yes, I am all of those things, and not only am I accepting myself as that person...I am appreciating it. I am also letting others appreciate it as I am and not getting wigged out by things that would have set me on edge before.

I attended a luncheon today that included a few high level people, as well as several people I did not know along with some folks I have known for years. In such a situation as this, I might have been jittery, feeling insecure and shy and wanting to do anything but stand out.

Not so, today. I introduced myself to several folks I had not met, and talked freely to the big shots. I laughed, I relaxed as well as I could during lunch. The food was great - supremely healthy (salmon, spinach salad, grilled peaches, etc) and I even blurted out "SALAD!" when I saw that awesome bowl. I would have been more relaxed at lunch if I could have trusted to chair to hold me without fear. It was a little flimsier than I would like, but I tried to hold most of my weight on my leg and I did a good job.

When I was leaving the luncheon (probably before most folks), I made a point of thanking the organizers, and visiting each table and wishing folks well. I am pretty sure I stood out but in a good way.

The point of this happy memory is that I have not always been this way. I am a former shy girl who feels comfortable to be out in public now. I have a welcoming and friendly attitude which was very much on display today. I am feeling really good about who I am and who I am becoming.

Every day, I am evolving more into the me that I want to be.

So I say to you, dear sparkies, who do you want to be?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_KATHY 9/5/2012 1:53PM

    You sound great Mar... I'm proud of you !

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BUSYGRANNY5 9/2/2012 6:02PM

    You go girl!!

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TJCADDO 9/1/2012 8:20PM

    I want to be like you! Seriously! You have always been so sweet and funny.

Hope you are having a great Labor Day weekend.

Nan emoticon

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TEDDYBEARGIRL 8/31/2012 11:51PM

    Who do I want to be?????? I want to be a person who could do what you just did. I am very insecure in a group of people and wish I could just melt in with the floor and be invisable but still hear and see what was going on LOL.........I avoid as many social gaterings as i can as i hate being the biggestperson in the room LOL

I am so proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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SARAWALKS 8/31/2012 10:31PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RAINBOWFALLS 8/31/2012 9:02PM

    I wish I felt this. Omfortable with myself. I'm getting closer though. Great job. emoticon

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MAVERICK59 8/31/2012 8:57PM

    Who do I want to be? I want to be the friend of this this amazing woman-You!
So glad your back with the team!


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GAYLE-G-63 8/31/2012 8:30PM


What a great blog!!! I'm glad you're coming into yourself. I SO happy for you. Keep up the wonderful work.


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NORWOODGIRL 8/31/2012 8:21PM

    I want to be like you! emoticon Those words "warm, compassionate, kind, giving, funny, friendly" are awesome. Add "appreciative", "relaxed", "accepting" and you have an amazing person. emoticon

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DIFROMWYOMING 8/31/2012 8:12PM

    I was reading another blog tonight by Blueridgenative and she referenced someone talking about, basically, living as who you WANT to be. Not waiting, not re-imagining a new you based on who you think you can manage to be- just living who you want to be. In 12 step programs they call that 'acting as if'=== as if I am already that person. As if I am already confident, happy, secure, whatever. I find when I put this into practice I am SO much happier.

I remember walking into the job interview for the job I have now- and I felt old...and fat...and not very comfortable. But I walked in acting 'as if' I were the BEST person they would ever interview for that job. Later, my boss told me they had already decided on someone else, but when I came in I just blew them away with my passion and my enthusiasm...something I would have maybe had trouble showing before.

I am SO proud of you, Mar! What a great day today was. Let's remember this day when we have a not so great one. This, my friend, is true progress.

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Dropping the Cloak of Perfection

Saturday, July 21, 2012

I have a lot going on in my head right now, and I will write it all down once I sort it out - but in the meantime, I am learning something I have struggled with for a long time.

I can never do anything good enough that it is going to make someone love me.

That's not how it happens. I am loveable; I just can't DO something to get it. It is something that is freely given without consequence.

It has not stopped me from trying and BELIEVING that if I do certain things, than I will get out of it what I want, because in a way, the person would be "forced" to love me.

Well, just finally acknowledging that it does not work that way. Believe me, I have tried this repeatedly and often. Nope. doesn't work.

HOWEVER, WHAT DOES WORK AND WILL WORK FOR ME ---- is acknowledging, realizing, understanding, and yes, believing with all of my heart, that the things I do ------- need to be done for ME alone. For my satisfaction, for my health, for my own acceptance.

Everything else is off the table. I just have to be me and live up to my own expectations. I cannot control any of the rest of it, and that's all there is to it.

I just have to do it for me. Simplifies things a bit. It would help, perhaps, if I wasn't so stubborn. I would stop fighting this, and just freaking do it already.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAVERICK59 8/31/2012 9:06PM

I think you speak for so many of us that are too ashamed to put it out there like this.
Hugs and Love,


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BROADBRUSH 7/24/2012 7:44PM

    i absolutely know what you mean - but it is the way we are raised - to be people pleasers (hence this equals love and recognition). especially if you are a girl - you get it doubly your entire life.
it took me over the age of 50 to realize saying 'no ' to someone would not strike me dead. likewise - taking time for myself - oh my gosh - the B word might come across my forehead.
we are conditioned from very early in our lives - and it takes a lot of self dedication, self education, and self LOVING to at least steer some happiness and independence our way - so we can take joy in saying - yep i did that and i did it FOR ME!!
you will - BB

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JEN_BACK2BASICS 7/23/2012 11:45AM

    So true! Thanks for the reminder - it can be a hard lesson to learn.

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MUGGLE_MOM 7/23/2012 8:16AM

    So true. So true.
We have absolutely no control over anyone else's behaviors or emotions. We can only control ourselves. We can't make someone love us by behaving and being what they want. That only sets us up for disappointment. You are a beautiful, loving, caring, funny as all heck, successful woman in your own right. You don't need to do these things to make someone else love you. You just have to love yourself.

Wishing you a wonderful adventure.

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    So true for any of us to remember.


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ITSHOWYOULIVE 7/23/2012 1:25AM

    Great post!

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DIFROMWYOMING 7/23/2012 12:15AM

    I can very much relate to all of this...and I'm not quite there...

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TEDDYBEARGIRL 7/22/2012 1:30PM

    Do it just for YOU!!!!!!!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 7/22/2012 7:37AM

    I agree. You can only do tings to improve YOUR life and make YOU happy. emoticon

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RAINBOWFALLS 7/22/2012 6:44AM

    emoticon emoticon

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HANDYV 7/22/2012 12:07AM


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ALWYS-LKN-UP 7/21/2012 11:56PM

    The road to loving yourself is a long one, I know because I'm on the same path. Just know that you are not alone, just be kind to yourself along the way!

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NORWOODGIRL 7/21/2012 11:48PM

    All right! The first step in success whether in health or love is knowing yourself. You are worth it. Let go of the past and "be me and live up to my own expectations".

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Positive Steps today!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Bought some REAL whole wheat bread.

Chopped up lots of watermelon, cantaloupe, strawberries, and threw in a half pint of raspberries to make a big fruit salad. Woo hoo!

Got my AC fixed!

Woo hoo!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANASAMM 7/11/2012 11:38AM

    Always a positive to have AC in the summer and fruit salad too? Sounds like a good day to me! emoticon

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BUSYGRANNY5 7/11/2012 11:08AM

    Love your positive post! Fruit salad sounds yummy! So glad there's lots of FRESH fruit available this time of year!!!

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 7/11/2012 1:20AM

    Oh, the biggest woo hoo goes to the AC being fixed!! Ours is dead, dead, dead and I know how precious AC is. The food choices today sound awesome!!

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MUGGLE_MOM 7/10/2012 11:12PM

    Love your positive steps!!!!!
This is exactly what you should be celebrating!!!!!!
I'm so happy for your that your AC is fixed :-)
Waiting patiently to hear about mine.....

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JEN_BACK2BASICS 7/10/2012 10:56PM

    Yay! Feels good, doesn't it?

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SARAWALKS 7/10/2012 9:22PM


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LOOZINITNOW 7/10/2012 9:01PM

    emoticonSounds yummy!!!

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COPEMA 7/10/2012 8:00PM

    Good job, Mary! You're doing great! 35 pounds and still going! Awesome! Keep up the good work!


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RAINBOWFALLS 7/10/2012 7:52PM

    Sounds yummy!

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DOINGME02 7/10/2012 7:48PM


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Yesterday doesn't matter

Monday, July 09, 2012

There is only today - what are you going to do with today?

I have viewed myself for so long as fat, out of shape, a blob, if you will - I overlooked that I could change at any minute I wanted to - I could change what I was doing and how I viewed myself.

I once told my former trainer that I could not go for a walk because I ate chocolate.

He said, "what?"

I didn't get that they were 2 different ACTIONS. He pushed me out the door for my walk.

Being fat is not who I am UNLESS I choose the behaviors that keep me obese,

I choose to walk
I choose to eat healthy
I choose to go to therapy

I choose the person I am

and drumroll, please....

I choose to be the person I am becoming every day by the actions I take...

Do or not do. The choice is yours. There is no yesterday.

Only today.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUSYGRANNY5 7/10/2012 8:33AM


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    I had to laugh at the you couldn't walk because you ate chocolate. You're so cute. I can only imagine the look on their face. "Whatchu talkin' bout Willis?"

Every choice you make to do better, you become better! It may not be on your timeline but you learn a lot about yourself in the process! Keep it up girl!

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MUGGLE_MOM 7/10/2012 7:24AM

    Awesome Blog! And so true!
You go girl!!!!
Your road is right in front of you and you are on your way!!!!!

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SHALLID 7/10/2012 6:23AM

    I choose today too! Good luck on making wonderful life choices today! emoticon

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 7/10/2012 12:16AM

    Isn't it funny how we connect two totally different things and make them an item (chocolate bar prevents exercise)? Your mantras are AWESOME!!!

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CHRISBEM 7/10/2012 12:05AM

    My dad always says that today is the first day of the rest of your life.

One of the songs I like is basically a woman giving advice along what you said, that you get to choose how your life goes. A couple of lines that I like from the song go basically along the lines that your life is a book... the rest is unwritten.

I try to remember that one I have an oops moment... do I want my book to talk about the "I can't walk because I ate chocolate" or "I am going to walk to burn off the chocolate"?

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The Coat

Friday, June 22, 2012

I did a little shopping last night - mostly because I have a casual work function today during lunchtime and it has been sweltering. I work at a semi-conservative place so shorts, and jeans are out.

I bought a couple of things to wear, and it started me thinking about a long forgotten item in my closet: THE COAT.

I bought it a while back - a long while back - I didn't live in my house when we bought it and that is going on 3 years.

I remember splurging on it (around $200). It's been in my closet now for years. I am going to wear this fall. I mean it, I am going to wear it. It's been too snug to be comfortable but it is my new incentive. I am going to get into that freaking coat!

I never thought I would be dreaming of wearing a coat on a hundred degree day!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SKY2012 7/5/2012 8:50PM

    what a beautifulllllllllllll coat and wonderful goal.

you GO girlfriend! yeh! emoticon

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 6/28/2012 11:20PM

    Oh, summer always gets me dreaming of cooler days-lol. You and that coat are going to get a long wonderfully this fall. :)

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LOOZINITNOW 6/23/2012 10:30AM

    Yes you are!!!! emoticon

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_KATHY 6/22/2012 5:48PM

    All goals are good. Stay determined.

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ONEFLYCHIK10 6/22/2012 3:13PM

    Keep at it! I am convinced that there is no better feeling than getting in to something that never fit and now does! (mind you im single and have no kids, lol) keep at it. Im rooting for you!

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RAINBOWFALLS 6/22/2012 2:29PM

    Great goal. emoticon

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DOODIE59 6/22/2012 1:07PM

    That is a very tangible goal. Hanging in front of you, reminding you of why you are going to make the right choices each day between now and ... November. The side effect, of course, will be related weight loss and more fitness. Win, win, win:) Go, grrl.

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SHALLID 6/22/2012 11:46AM

    i know exactly how you feel. i bought a pr of jeans roughly 1&1/2 - 2 sizes small a year ago, now that you got me thinking about it, I'll take it out and put it on the outside so i can remember what i'm aiming for. no more unnecessary time outs for me.

WE can do this! Thanks for the inspiration!

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TEDDYBEARGIRL 6/22/2012 11:15AM

    Awesome goal to reach for!

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MUGGLE_MOM 6/22/2012 7:49AM

    I love it love it love it!!!!
I hope you are hanging it where you can see it multiple times a day.
Do you talk to it and let it know that it will be worn oh so very soon and that you can't wait?
I am so proud of you! You are one amazing lady that will be looking FABULOUS in your coat this fall!!!
Whooo Hooooo!!!!!

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KDAILEY70 6/22/2012 7:32AM

    emoticon emoticon

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