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In Front of Humans

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I did something today totally out of character.

I ate.

In front of humans.

Seriously I did.

Pretty remarkable for a closet eater.

I had some guys in my office working on my computer. They interrupted my mid morning snack time. So I did something I have never done before. I ate in public. Truth be told, it was weird. TO ME. No one else noticed. My 2 little clementines went unnoticed. I did not see that coming. I really thought all eyes would me on me. Nope, not even close. Huh?

My DH laughs at me. I won't eat out and then bring food home to my parents. Not even coffee.
All of it was called into question. If you do not have enough for everyone, you shouldn't be having it. Thus began my lifetime of closet eating. Until today. I ate clementines.

Yes, I am making this an uber big deal. It just wasn't done.

But I did it. Can I tell you how freaking free I felt today?

It was outstanding!

What have you done to break free of your long-standing beliefs, sparkies?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHEESKY 1/16/2012 10:19PM

    What a great step forward! emoticon



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CHANGE_4_ME 1/13/2012 11:51AM

    Very proud of you!

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BECKYB73 1/12/2012 1:29PM

    YES!!!!!!!!!!! This most certainly is a BIG DEAL!!!

So proud of you for breaking down that wall!!!

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 1/12/2012 9:03AM

    Mickey, that is fantastic! I am so proud of you! And you BREATHED! emoticon emoticon

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GEORGIA_KAY 1/12/2012 7:33AM

    I'm proud of you!! Life is all about change, and you're changing in all the right places!!
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MAMADWARF 1/12/2012 12:48AM

    That is awesome! Way to take charge of YOU!!!

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SARAWALKS 1/12/2012 12:36AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TAMPATINK67 1/11/2012 11:24PM

    I broke the sugar addiction and walk 2.5-5 miles a day now.

Certainly NOT anything I ever thought I'd do!

Congrats on your success - and that's what it was. As a closet eater - were u also a closet binger?

Awesome job - reporting these successes witching the community.

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_KATHY 1/11/2012 11:05PM

    who knows what's next! emoticon

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 1/11/2012 11:05PM

    Girl do I relate! I remember when I worked in an office and I NEVER let any of them see me eat. Uh, I'm pretty sure they had a clue! :) Good for you...clementines are yummy!

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DOODIE59 1/11/2012 11:03PM

    That's a big step;)


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MAVERICK59 1/11/2012 10:31PM

    I am so happy for you. Letting go of our 'stuff' is serious to us, no matter how minor to someone else.
So, What is next???
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VIBRANTVAL 1/11/2012 10:04PM

    Hooooty hoot!!! emoticon

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LOOZINITNOW 1/11/2012 9:37PM

    Great job! emoticon

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HONEY-SPARKS 1/11/2012 9:36PM

    It is a big deal There are times when i have been terrified to eat around the humans as well. i have feared their judgement. What is she eating stares and all.
Keep sparking you are going to set the world on fire.

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TEDDYBEARGIRL 1/11/2012 9:34PM

    emoticon

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Critical Mass

Friday, January 06, 2012

I got on the elevator this morning with a guy that I've seen in passing. He is usually not Mr. Chatty, but he was friendly this morning. He got off the floor before me, and I noticed when he got off, he sort of bolted down the hallway.

My first thought was, "he's a hard worker."

Where did that come from? I don't even know what he really does, and just that burst of movement of activity put that thought in my head.

In my normal way, I started thinking about what kind of impression am I leaving?

Don't I kind of just shuffle around these hallways?

For those that work with me, and know me, they also know I have an extremely strong work ethic, and can probably rattle off a dozen good qualities (my sense of humor, ability to laugh easily, encouraging of others, quick thinker, calm under pressure, friendly, smart, sociable).

However, for those that don't know me, what am I really saying about myself?

Hmmm. This is something to think about.

I am making good progress on the self care line-up. (Thank God I got my hair done!) I dress professionally, speak well, but I could be doing a lot more to make my outside match my inner self.

I have reminded myself that all things work for the greater good. The efforts I make on my own behalf to look beautiful, and to fuel my body nutritiously will pay off in dividends when I leave that good impression that I am seeking.

I am absolutely convinced that changes in my lifestyle will bring about a happier me because I will be proud of the choices I am making. I am not going to pretend that being thin fixes anything, but aiming for wellness and health will bring positive changes to my life: longevity and feeling good while I am here. I am not just trying to improve the duration of my life, but also the quality.

Impressions aside, -- my life is what I make it.

What are you saying about yourselves, sparkies?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SKY2012 1/11/2012 1:42AM

    very touching post, yeh!!!!!!!!!!!

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TERRIJ_1 1/10/2012 3:07PM

    emoticon

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LINDAINALABAMA 1/8/2012 12:47PM

    emoticon

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TEDDYBEARGIRL 1/6/2012 6:28PM

    I use to say that I must not care but now that my actions match my words i hope I am giving off a much better impression now.

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_KATHY 1/6/2012 4:38PM

    I'm reminded of a co worker years ago. We were coming out of the ladies room headed for the drinking fountain. She was a rabbit and I, a tortoise. She whipped around me and got her drink quickly. I did not. I observed then that she was very thin and energetic looking, I was not. I decided thin people just move faster. So, what does that mean? I dunno. One Thing, thin people just have faster metabolisms. Perhaps. So, I should move faster and speed up my metabolism? I dunno. I know I feel more energetic when I act more energetic. Or perhaps I am more energetic because I feel more energetic. What was the question? LOL :)
Hugs
Kate

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DIFROMWYOMING 1/6/2012 3:04PM

    I do believe that how we feel about ourselves inside reflects on the outside, and I do not think it has anything to do with size. But our energy, our positiveness, our confidence, our self esteem: those all show through clearly to others. It's an important thing to be aware of, thanks for sharing this today.

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JESSICA2140 1/6/2012 1:56PM

    It's not the best thing, but you're totally right! Humans are kind of judgemental creatures, no matter how you look at it, and appearance is always the #1 way people initially judge a person. For sure...I think we're all trying to change people's initial impressions of us!!

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KKINNEA 1/6/2012 1:02PM

    I agree with your thoughts and love that you don't focus on the thinness part - some people look too thin and give the impression of bad health!

I'm a hustle-down-the-hall person myself - being more fit just means I'm faster at it than before!

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MAVERICK59 1/6/2012 12:56PM

    I enjoyed reading this. Lots to reflect on here. Thank you for sharing your experience.

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LINTPICKER 1/6/2012 11:39AM

    very true, we make impressions to others without even trying. Let's make a good one.

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DOODIE59 1/6/2012 11:33AM

    Good blog, Mickey. Yes, it is true that people makes judgments on what they see initially (what else do they have to go on?), so it is important to have your external self reflect the quality of your inner self. Also, keeping your glorious self locked "inside" means you are not interacting fully with the world around you. All power to you on making the inner and the outer come together! Baby steps, big jumps, backslides, whatever it takes ... Believe, and support your quest to become a Unified One.:)
Deirdre

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GEORGIA_KAY 1/6/2012 10:30AM

    Love this blog. It really does make you stop and think about how we're appearing to other people--especially casual acquaintances or co-workers. I also agree with you when you say that putting forth the effort to look better on the outside improves how you feel on the inside. I need to start caring a little more about how I look now. Thanks for the nudge :)

Another Great blog--thanks for sharing it.
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CIVIAV 1/6/2012 10:30AM

    vinteresting!

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 1/6/2012 10:27AM

    You know, I think there is a lot about you that shows to others more than it does to you. I don't know for sure, but that's the first thing I thought of! emoticon

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CABBAGEROSES 1/6/2012 9:50AM

    Interesting post--lots that I hadn't thought about before. I am starting to notice that as I get in better shape I stand taller and, as I have more energy and feel better, there is more spring in my step. And, like you said, when I feel good about my efforts I do feel happier and proud.

All things *do* work for the greater good.

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SARAWALKS 1/6/2012 8:57AM

    SO TRUE. Yes, even the way we move gives an impression of us. I am probably a lot more like this guy, just because I've always walked fast, & I'm always trying to get in more things in less time SO THAT I can then collapse and take time for me.
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However I've had to learn to slow down a bit when at work because sometimes there are people who want to speak to me and tell me something important, and they won't if I'm just on my own roll, so to speak...

So maybe a bit of shuffle is not a bad thing and you have something to teach this buzz buzz guy as well! emoticon

Your point is still a great one! See how it made me think... emoticon

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DGFOWLER 1/6/2012 8:35AM

    Good morning. Excellent blog just as notabouttheface stated. I have noticed a change in myself since I started getting down to brass tacks about a year ago. I have lost 30 lbs. I can wear clothes I couldn't wear before, I am walking taller. So yes definitely how we perceive ourselves inside reflects on the outside. Nicely said.

Donna

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 1/6/2012 8:07AM

    EXCELLENT blog! Everyone had better be pushing that dang LIKE button down there that reads this!

I was just thinking of this yesterday when I saw something on a talk show about the things we stick out for the public to see in your house and on your desk. It's representation of who you are and you need to think about how you're outwardly presenting yourself. I'm trying to improve!

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Let's Hug It Out

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

I've been having an up and down week. Got a case of the sickies just as it was time to step into up into high gear with my BLC challenge, and also got back to work after a 2 week hiatus. Wasn't that inconvenient? Follow up my coughing spells with being overtired, an inability to hold my pee if I go into a super hack, and I am pretty much moved into crankytown.

Residents of crankytown are frequently prone to ignore their basic needs. Instead of planning for meals, they eat the first thing they see even if it is wholly unsatisfying and contains a lot of artificial -ites and -oses. Residents of crankytown forget their well laid plans. Additionally, these same residents have a tendency to go on attack, especially at themselves.

Not today, buckaroo. I have stopped the infighting and have retreated to the grocery store after work. Not that it did not feel bitter cold, getting out of the toasty car, but it was worth the trip. I scored a rotisserie turkey breast, two heads of fresh broccoli and fresh cauliflower, strawberries (buy1 get 1 free) and a couple of non threatening things for DH. (Can you say happy camper? I thought you could).

Way to go for me! I had some of the fresh turkey and spinach tonight for dinner. I packed up the remaining turkey to take for lunch (and still have some left over.) I washed and prepped some red grapes to take for a snack. Strawberries will go for a swim in my morning oatmeal which I skipped this morning. That started the spiral off in a bad way. Now I am prepped in a good way. My bags are packed and I am on the next flight out of crankytown.

See you at baggage check!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDAINALABAMA 1/8/2012 12:58PM

    emoticon

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_KATHY 1/6/2012 1:44AM

    Crankytown sucks... I'm leaving... on a jet plane... don't know when I'll be back again....oh babe, I really am glad I'm going ! Doesn't it feel so much better to fuel your body with yummy healthy food? Take two aspirin and a banana and Nike it up! :)

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JGMK55 1/5/2012 2:58PM

    emoticon We all visit cranky town on occasion, but we don't have to move in!! Glad you decided to get out of town quickly!

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TEDDYBEARGIRL 1/5/2012 1:46PM

    Glad your leaving that town LOL!

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 1/5/2012 12:14PM

    Oh, Mickey, your blogs are good for the soul!

By the way, thanks for being such an encouraging and supportive spark friend! That means so much to me! emoticon

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MUGGLE_MOM 1/5/2012 8:09AM

    You are totally AWESOME!!!!

Congrats on finding that flight out of Crankytown. I know many, including me, who are stuck there for a quite a while before our ride arrives. Huge Kudos to you girlfriend!!!!

Feel better too!!!

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CABBAGEROSES 1/5/2012 6:34AM

    Way to go for you is right--welcome out of Crankeytown! emoticon

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GEORGIA_KAY 1/5/2012 12:35AM

    I love that you not only stopped the tailspin on that plane, but you than commandeered it to take you right the heck out of Crankytown!

Way To Go!!!
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DOODIE59 1/4/2012 11:06PM

    Good job on being so aware of what you have to do differently to get back on track -- and then doing what it takes. Congrats!
Deirde

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MAVERICK59 1/4/2012 10:57PM

    I am so glad that you were able to get back on track so quickly!
Good job planning out the food for tomorrow!

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THE-MORE-GIRL 1/4/2012 10:43PM

    Way to go with the self-care!

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DIFROMWYOMING 1/4/2012 10:24PM

    emoticon
Where are you headed on your trip out of crankytown? Someplace warm?
Good job getting your food pulled together and now you can rest with some good nutritious food helping you heal!
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MAMADWARF 1/4/2012 10:23PM

    Awesome way to recover! Good job!

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SARAWALKS 1/4/2012 10:18PM

    Blast off! Next stop, Rockinville! Good for you for making a quick recovery!
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Embracing Change and Doing Something Different

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Sometimes we sit with what's comfortable, just because it is familiar, even if it has outlasted its purpose and no longer fits our needs. At times, I've been guilty of this with relationships, jobs, and habits.

I am working on embracing challenges, and embracing changes. I wanted a visual reminder of being capable of doing something different, so I went to a hair salon and had my hair colored, and highlighted. While I have not done it in a while at all, it was a bigger change this time around, because I went to a d-a-r-k-e-r shade. My hair is not jet black or anything, just a couple of shades into brown when it had been dirty blond for all of my life.

It's a visual cue that I am absolutely capable of making about faces and handling changes even though it might not be the most comfortable course of action.

Whatever little change you can make on your own behalf, I encourage you to do it. Now we have an easy time of turning the calendar over and beginning anew. Use this time as a fresh do-over, and make a change for yourself that puts you in the right direction.

Let's all embrace a little change and do something different.

Happy New Year, sparkies, Wishing us all of year of good health, happiness, laughter, fitness, love, peace and prosperity!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JGMK55 1/2/2012 10:03AM

    This is a wonderful blog! emoticon

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SKY2012 1/2/2012 1:47AM

    you are beautiful and with a beautiful loving heart, hugs

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TEDDYBEARGIRL 1/2/2012 1:36AM

    I am making changes too....i am one month into some changes already as i choose to not wait till the new year so i got a head start LOL

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GEORGIA_KAY 1/1/2012 10:21PM

    I'll bet the darker shade on you looks lovely! How about posting a pic?
I changed the color of my hair a bit too yesterday--got rid of that danged old gray. I too love the idea that we can make changes when we want to---in just about every aspect of our lives!

2012 is going to be a good year for us all :)

We can do this, buddy!
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_KATHY 1/1/2012 11:57AM

    I like the way you think :) I made a little hair change as well yesterday. I put a, wash out in 28 days, color in my hair. I decided I wanted to end the year and start a new one with fresh, non grey streaks, hair. Not a major change, just not grey. Happy New Year to you!

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DOODIE59 1/1/2012 11:51AM

    One change at a time equals a lot of changes by the end of the year --
Deirdre

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BESTCK 1/1/2012 8:29AM

    Way to make a change and pamper yourself in the process!

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SARAWALKS 1/1/2012 12:00AM

    Good for you, Mickey! I once had a friend who said he tried to do one new thing each day, even if it was as small as driving down a different street...just something to break routine. Not a bad idea!
Happy New Year!

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MAVERICK59 12/31/2011 11:48PM

    I bet you look magnificent! Will you be posting a pic for us?
I say good for you and how cool that you didn't feel a need to go lighter!
Change is good.
Hugs,
Belinda

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Driving Force

Thursday, December 29, 2011

I've been setting new year's resolutions and goals ever since I can remember. There is one this year, though, that rises above the rest, and it is what I am committed to achieving.

Be authentic.

Just be me. and proudly be me. So much of what I have accepted in the past has been over a resignation of this is just the way things are. That is so not true. It is a cop-out to think that things are as is, and nothing can be done to change them.

I've made some progress in the last few days of recognizing that I have to be the driving force in my own life. I have stopped sitting around and waiting for things to happen. I can't always drive my destiny but I sure as heck can drive my reaction to it and be responsible for how things unfold.

To do this, I have to value myself enough to realize (and BELIEVE) that my choices are valid, and I am worth standing up for. It occurred to me that some of the people I cherish most are people who have "stood up for me" and while that is a good thing, I have to take that same tack myself. I have to stand up for me and be accountable for myself and to myself. I am building an authentic life, and it starts with the utter confidence and faith that I have it in me.

What tone are you setting for yourself?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PINKAMBER18 1/2/2012 12:09PM

    emoticon

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LINTPICKER 12/30/2011 9:14AM

    sounds like great goals!

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GEEKSMEGGLY 12/30/2011 12:30AM

    "recognizing that I have to be the driving force in my own life." I like that. Just what I'm becoming conscious of in my own life. I can see it will take vigilance on my part but I'm ready.

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MAVERICK59 12/29/2011 5:52PM

    You ARE incredibly authentic. It comes through in everything you write. I think all of us need to work on the 'BELIEVE' piece. You are leading us there!
Hugs

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DIFROMWYOMING 12/29/2011 5:46PM

    I have always thought you were authentic! You're so wonderful and such a good friend to me. My theme for 2012 is BELIEVE. I think we all are there...and it's nice to be with my friends on this journey.

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MUGGLE_MOM 12/29/2011 4:26PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GRINGUITA 12/29/2011 2:57PM

    Being our authentic selves is the best gift we can give ourselves and those around us. We are worthy just the way we are!

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DOODIE59 12/29/2011 2:52PM

    Just be YOU! Bring your best YOU to the table:)
Happy New Year
Deirdre

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GEORGIA_KAY 12/29/2011 2:31PM

    I've always thought you were an authentic person from the very first moment I read one of your wonderfully witty blogs. You have one of the best personalities I've ever encountered. I'm glad that you're starting to believe more in yourself now too, cause frankly, you are a real sweetheart!

We have to believe in ourselves and proudly say YES, WE ARE WORTH IT!!
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LINDAINALABAMA 12/29/2011 1:57PM

    emoticon

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SARAWALKS 12/29/2011 1:03PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KKINNEA 12/29/2011 12:58PM

    Yes!! I'm trying to do this too so I'll refer back to you if I start faltering!

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CIVIAV 12/29/2011 12:11PM

    Be authentic. My learning exactly. With that decision I then want to make the best choices available to me. Here's to it!

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_KATHY 12/29/2011 12:01PM

    I really like that statement. " I have to be the driving force in my own life." I think that is absolutely true.
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BESTCK 12/29/2011 12:00PM

    This is so true. I was just telling a Spark Friend that we have to believe we deserve the life we live/want, in order for it to happen.

Happy New Year, friend.

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RR1_RR1 12/29/2011 11:56AM

    Shew, Ive got a lot of personality traits I need to change- such as adding a filter to my mouth and being calmer. thats the tone Im setting for this year, to be a calmer more laid back person and find comfort in my work! Lets emoticon some a this year!

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THE-MORE-GIRL 12/29/2011 11:54AM

    Standing up for ourselves is a really good skill to develop. You can do it!

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