MICKEYMAX   46,652
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What I Need

Monday, December 05, 2011

Here's what I need --- and I need to do it for myself --- and if I can the ripple effects will be felt by many

I need to get my butt out of bed and go to the gym to strength train and ride the bike, and at some point get moving on the elliptical.

The weights though - that is numero uno ---

If anyone wants to help me to shake my tailfeathers out of bed at 4am (eastern standard time) so I can get to gym for a half hour work out by 4am, have at it. Going to bed early is rough for me. I usually work til around 630pm and then drive about an hour to get home.

I am so not a morning person. I have short bouts where I pretend I embrace mornings and it goes well and then I am right back to night owling.

I'm not making excuses - I am trying to come up with a doable plan.

For this week, I will aim to get to the gym once.

I'm still walking and working out with my wii too. I need more activity to get healthy.

Time to shake it. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    UGH! I HATE mornings! They are awful and intrusive! I am a night owl for sure! emoticon emoticonYou won't have any morning help outa me! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DIFROMWYOMING 12/6/2011 9:01AM

    I second Doodie, is there a way you can take time at work to get in some exercise? You put in such long days...even if you could do 2 fifteen minute breaks and 30 minutes of lunch you'd get in an hour of exercise. It's difficult when you are working so long and hard and I do the same a lot, because we know we need exercise but you also need your rest and down time. Keep working on it, I think you'll come up with a solution!

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KEN2473 12/5/2011 11:22PM

    At least you are walking and doing the wii. emoticon

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BRAVENEWGRL 12/5/2011 10:52PM

    You can do it! Just find what you love and enjoy it!

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ANNECEK 12/5/2011 10:14PM

    I really can't handle mornings, going to work early is bad enough! Getting up to work at 4am does not make a life long habit in my book. I would give that up in a heartbeat. You may have to reevaluate your exercise plan. Do what you think is FUN! That way you will want to do it! I love using my Kinect. Does the Wii have a variety of games you can do for fitness? I love the dance games and they are the things that keep me exercising everyday. I also exercise in the evening. It works for me! Realize that all my advice is my opinion, LOL! Good luck in whatever you chose! emoticon

Comment edited on: 12/5/2011 10:16:14 PM

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DOODIE59 12/5/2011 9:43PM

    OK, Mickey, I feel for you. I'm a night owl too, and I could not set up a life that requires that I rouse myself at 4 AM. I would think I was still dreaming, and very strange things might happen as a result. (Like, in my dreams I could hit on my trainer and he would respond in kind. heh heh)

Is it at all possible for you to exercise in the course of your day? Take an extra half hour and work out at lunch? Tack it on at the end of the work day, before you drive home?

I hope you find a resolution that truly works with your lifestyle:)

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LRNG2SWET 12/5/2011 9:38PM

    I cant blame you, I wouldnt want to get up and go somewhere at that time of morning, especially when its cold.
I have to do it in my own home. Saves a lot of time.

Wondering, do you have a goal that you feel you just HAVE to meet? Something that you want soooo bad?
Just break it down until you find your daily goal and strive for that goal every morning...it will add up.
Mine is a 2lb. weigh loss weekly. I know if I dont get my tail up at least 4x a week, I am going to be crying on Monday when I weigh in.
Best to you emoticon

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ONEKIDSMOM 12/5/2011 9:27PM

    It's hard even for earlhy birds this time of year when it is dark and cold! Still, a virtual alarm clock to help you... emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IBECCA 12/5/2011 9:21PM


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Dumping Sweet and Sour Sauce..

Sunday, December 04, 2011

Well here's a first. I dumped out the sweet and sour sauce that arrived with our Chinese food delivery. I had asked for hot pepper oil for hubby but I guess they got confused. No matter. In the past, I would have put my rice directly into it and soaked it all up. I do have a sweetness "problem" so I am realizing that if I don't start with something, it is easier for me to avoid it. I used this moment as a major step forward for myself. I am not doing everything perfectly, but I am making some darn good moves. Big. bold strokes.

I'll be doing some of the wii before bed. I'll gather my lunch items for the a.m. I will fill my water bottle. I will go to bed at a reasonable hour. I'll pray, I'll meditate, and I will go to bed relaxed and happy. I had a good day - made some good steps.

Hope you had some encouraging steps this weekend, sparkies.
Little by little, we'll get the job done!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRIJ_1 12/5/2011 12:05PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    Oh, I am SO proud of you! I'm going to be working off the all you can eat Chinese food I had with Drex on Friday night all week long! I want to be able to say I can do what you have done, and I will! emoticon

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DIFROMWYOMING 12/5/2011 9:27AM

    emoticon That is a wonderful start! That used to be a weakness of mine too but now that I can't have the yummy stuff that goes with it, I just avoid Chinese all the time anyway. Have a good day!

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VIBRANTVAL 12/5/2011 8:49AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Way to Spark!!!!!

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TEDDYBEARGIRL 12/5/2011 12:55AM


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MUGGLE_MOM 12/4/2011 11:11PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
emoticon You Go Girl! emoticon
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MAVERICK59 12/4/2011 9:19PM

    Sounds to me like you did excellent today! Good choices all around! emoticon

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AKCHELLE 12/4/2011 7:52PM

    that's awesome!
Those good choices add up!

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Rockbottom Rockstar

Thursday, December 01, 2011

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. (You Dickens fans will know that line is lovingly lifted.)

I had awesome day if not excruciatingly busy at work. Still, my first meeting of the day was well planned for, and I aced it. I did not have an expectation that one of the attendees was going to be a big mucky mucky, - I found out 5 mins before she arrived, I still hit it out of the park. Bombshell perfect. I aced it baby.

I left work late and smartly drank a latte to wake up before hitting the road. Happily, I was very alert when 3 deer charged in front of my car on the way home. It is pretty common to see them but they popped out of nowhere, involved slamming brakes, and a very alert moi to realize that there were more coming - not just one. Whew.

When I got home in the driveway, I had a really rough time extricating myself from the car. It should not be like this. I had to re-contort myself back in the car in order to try to move my leg in a different direction to get it out. I was stuck. To make matters worse, I was wearing my gray elastic waisted leggings which proceeded to basically peel down my legs so my butt was hanging out in the car. Super.

THEN, my neighbor, who I don't exactly cherish comes out of his house. I am half out of the car, half out of my pants, and need to slide back in the car, and pull the door half shut so he doesn't see me. He probably did see me, but it is the best I could do. Mortifying would be a step up.

He drives off. I shimmy down in the seat, manage to pull my pants as tight up as I can, and re-maneuver so I can get my leg out and hoist the rest of myself up. Truly, having a toyota corolla is not the best in this case, but I am making so much worse on myself.

I drew my line in the sand tonight. I told myself (Mar, no more food. It is over.)
I made the plea bargain with God in the driveway if he got me out of the car, I would stop gorging myself. So now, I need to follow through.

The car is just another point on the horizon really. This season I have passed up
(free) tickets to see an actor/comedian someone most people would give their right arm to see, because I don't think I am going to fit in the seats. I bypassed a business trip to Texas because I could not face the airplane. I have missed untold opportunities because I am unable to use a regular seat, etc.

Mentally, I am in one of the healthiest points of my life. Now, I just really need to rock the action and fix my food problems. I did walk a lot for me today. I handled it, and it gave me the motivation to do it again tomorrow. Real activity has been missing from my life for a while. Really, it's over. I want a good life back. I deserve it, It's my life to live (and love.)

So, I am pulling my big girl pants back on and taking over this body of mine. I am a rockstar, even though I have just seen rockbottom.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDAINALABAMA 12/4/2011 10:44PM

    thanks so much for sharing this. i have troubled getting in and out of my car too. i think sometimes i might get a suv but my great car is paid for.

i like your line in the sand!!!

linda emoticon

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LRNG2SWET 12/3/2011 11:20AM

    Thanks for making me laugh out loud with the neighbor / leggings story.
But regarding the rest, I feel your pain. I was having such a difficult time doing things as well when I started this journey 4mo ago. Pain - any type, is a motivator.

The great Mary Kay Ash used to say (I dont know if she is the author of this saying) That change occurs when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.
God bless you and I wish you much success in this battle. emoticon

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JENN03275 12/3/2011 9:23AM

    You can ROCK this!!

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LINTPICKER 12/3/2011 8:17AM

    You do rock! and you are worth it!

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SUZWARNR 12/3/2011 7:20AM

    You can do this!! Sometimes, you have to reach that point of no return before you can truly commit to what you want to do. That's what happened to me almost 4 years ago now. I reached a point in my life when I said, enough is enough. I'm tired of being fat, not fitting into clothes. I don't like who I am. I'm starting today to change all this. It didn't happen overnight, but look where I am now. You can do this and you're in the best place for it. Keep going, rockstar!

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BESTCK 12/2/2011 12:19PM

    You are a Rock Star to share this. Do you have any idea how much better you make people feel when they can know they are not alone in their struggle; their embarrassment?

You are going to ROCK December.

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    You're amazing, do you know that!?

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DOODIE59 12/2/2011 10:25AM

    The emotions in your blog had me coming and going. Chuckling out loud at your humour and feeling the mortification of the car seat struggle.

You have your line in the sand, and that is good. Just remember to do this out of love for yourself. You know you have a lot to offer. Everyday is a new day to be lived fully and richly. Some days will be "perfect" in terms of food and exercise, some days will be "perfect" because something wonderful happened, and -- yep -- some days won't be perfect. It's all OK. Treat yourself the way you'd treat your cherished best friend. Good things will come from that.


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CIVIAV 12/2/2011 9:35AM

    It's another level. My big aha moment was different and my current situation not exactly the same but it revolves around the same thing. Wanting a great life to live. I do too!

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DIFROMWYOMING 12/2/2011 8:45AM

    Oh Mar I am sitting here relating to every thing you just posted. I too have noticed that my recent add on of weight has me struggling again to do things I could do just months ago. We went to a movie this week and I have not had to think twice about that for a long time, but I could barely fit in the seat at all, and when it came time to get out...I had a moment of panic when I thought I was stuck. I acted a bit like it was just soreness causing the slow movement, but it was honest to goodness upset that I was so wedged in there! Oh Mar, I am with you all the way. This must stop, and we can again rock our days with positives. Every step: I'm with you.

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SARAWALKS 12/2/2011 7:38AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MUGGLE_MOM 12/2/2011 6:44AM

    Oh Mickey Max, You are a ROCKSTAR!

What a roller coaster of a day. Huge Kudos for your ups, and my heart just breaks for you for your downs. What a tough situation today. I am so impressed that you had the fortitude to write about it, get it out, and use it as motivation. You could just as easily eaten a pint or half gallon of ice cream and cried. You truly are a ROCKSTAR!!!!

You can absolutely do this. Set up your environment, practice your self talk, get your movement in. You are on your way. You can do this.One baby step at a time.

You Go Girl!!!!

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TEDDYBEARGIRL 12/2/2011 12:10AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MAVERICK59 12/1/2011 11:41PM

    You are a rockstar in my eyes! I too have a list of missed and mourned opportunities because of my weight. Even after losing 82 pounds, I still cannot get a tape measure around these hips. I am so there with you girl.
We do this one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time.
I always ask God to send me extra Angels if he has any to spare because I need an army from Heaven.
Lets stay focused and change our lives.

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SPRINGRS 12/1/2011 11:26PM

    You go girl!

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Waking Thoughts

Monday, November 28, 2011

I woke up early this a.m. in the three o'clock hour and sat up for a bit. I whipped out my long neglected journal and penned a thought that popped into my head: I am cherished by many. I don't know where that thought came from or why it just popped out, but it did so I wrote it down. Not sure if I will be able to re-read my 3am scrawl but I can re-read this. :)

I read for a smidge. Fell back asleep for a while, and was back up again before my alarms went off. I have about 5 of them set in various stages of snooze on my cell phone. I meditated for a little while, then got up and did the wii, made myself a breakfast smoothie (pumpkin soymilk and frozen cherries) and carried myself into work.

It is going to be a non stop busy day, but I have set myself up to have a good day.
Woo hoo!

Hope your day is equally embraced, sparkies!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WENDYSPARKS 11/29/2011 11:32AM

    Wishing you a good day too!!

Wendy emoticon

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CIVIAV 11/29/2011 11:31AM


How beautiful a thought to have...

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TEDDYBEARGIRL 11/29/2011 1:51AM

    Hope you had a good day!

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MUGGLE_MOM 11/28/2011 2:16PM

    You are absolutely cherished by many! Please make sure that I'm on that list!

Sounds like a good morning (when do you sleep?!?!)

You are a ROCKSTAR!!!!

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 11/28/2011 11:28AM

    I WANT to have a better attitude, but I did not sleep well at all, and I'm dragging so badly! I hope I can get awake and embrace the day like you have! emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 11/28/2011 8:35AM

    Sometimes it is so hard for us to remember how important we are to others! That's wonderful that you journaled. I love to do that. It gives me a chance to "catch up" with my thoughts and reach a peaceful place.

Hope you have a wonderful MOnday!

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DOODIE59 11/28/2011 8:09AM

    Setting yourself up for a good day is what it's all about:)

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BESTCK 11/28/2011 7:16AM

    What a wonderful way to start your day! (And make good use of insomnia! LOL) Have a great one.

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Not looking for answers in the fridge

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Here's my foray into sharing my angst instead of swallowing it down.

I was a messy kid. Very messy.

I still have tendencies to let clutter pile up, but I am a far cry from where I once was. There's a story told with occasional regularity, (but enough to get under my skin) of a neighbor who had to climb in my room over the piles to help my mother get into the house when she left without a key. Years later...M-A-N-Y years later, I am still hearing this story....It's probably about 30 years old if not more so - but even know it makes me wince, and makes my mother really cringe -- not enough to say something to the story teller - mind you - which also bothers me - but enough to tell me later that it has been told again. OUCH.

I want to scream shut the (you probably know what I really want to insert here)... up, and a few other choice things. It does not escape me that the family of this person has had some really rocky roads lately, which makes me think, she is trying to divert attention away from her own figurative messes, but seriously, I am tired of it. I'm not sure why my mother tells me --- perhaps to make me feel shame for it --- or repent, or what? I don't know.

I know she would NOT want me to address it. I like to confront situations, even though there are times, when this is not the best solution. Said person is not only a friend to my mother for 50+ years, but is a neighbor, and my ahem, godmother. That does not help really.

Both my mother and motor mouth are in the 80's and that adds another dimension to this. Is it worth saying something? Probably not. DO I want to - yes, sort of - but it would cripple my mother and she would not be any happier with me because of it. It will be hard for me to "let this go" but getting it out here, instead of looking for an answer for it in the refrigerator is actually enormously helpful. I just shed a couple of tears about it when telling my husband, and he looked like a deer in the headlights...In other words, "don't ask me." ha ha. At least, he listened.

So, thanks for letting me unload this here, and not go in search of something sweet to soothe me, when that would really not help at all. I am going in search of some wire and beads and will make some earrings instead. Anyone who wants a pair, can shoot me their address in my mailbox and I will send you a pair.

Cheers, sparkies!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHANGE_4_ME 11/29/2011 12:25PM

    Most of the comments are on target, I especially agree with MuggleMom & Kateschoice. Love your diversion of activity above stewing on the upsetting thought. Hang in there!HUGS!


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NOTABOUTHEFACE 11/27/2011 11:59AM

    I'd love to add my sunshine to this but I don't feel being old is an excuse to be rude. To me it's not about changing someone but letting them know that they're hurting your feelings. It doesn't have to be done in front of anyone else or in a hurtful way but for me, it's just unacceptable because I can only hold my tongue so long if it's chipping away at my self esteem. If you can let it go, go on ya. You're a better woman than I am! ;)

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_KATHY 11/27/2011 10:13AM

    All good advice. You can't do anything about the thoughts and comments of 80 year olds. My Mom is 83. She gets fixated on a thought and there is no diverting it no matter how many times I've heard it. Patience and tolerance is the only way to go.

I don't think you will allow this to get under your skin when you yourself realize and believe that the messy girl deserved forgiveness, love and understanding then just as much as the grown up girl does now. When we know better, we do better.

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BESTCK 11/27/2011 9:18AM

    This is a wonderful entry. I, myself, am trying to learn not to be so reactionary to the things my mother says, now that she's older.

And if it's any consolation? When I was a teenager I used to love going to my Bestie's house because she had a room similar to yours and it was like going on a treasure hunt for me. My mother made sure everything in my room was spic and span all the time so I loved going to my friends' houses where there stuff was all in piles.

Viva la difference!

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 11/26/2011 10:46PM

    Oh, I am SO proud of you! I have such a tendency to spout off "because I have the right", or because I believe someone else has wronged me, etc. It does no good to do this, and after so many times of regretting it, I think I'm finally learning! No, please don't say anything. It takes a LOT more character and courage to forgive the commenter than to avenge yourself. emoticon emoticon

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MUGGLE_MOM 11/26/2011 9:54PM

    OmG! A 20-30 year old story. Let it go. I am so proud of you for letting it out here. I can only speak for me, but letting it out here, helps me tremendously with not pushing it down with food, or soothing myself with sweets. I find it much easier to let it go once its out in the open. A lot of those emotions aren't as big and bad in the light of day as they are in the dark recesses of my mind.

In their 80's, mom and god mom aren't going to change. As to their motivation? Who knows. All that matters is that it has nothing to do with you. Its all about them. You're no longer a kid living in your mom's house. You're a fantastic married woman, a full time employee, and a home owner. The condition of your home, room, desk, whatever is all about you and has absolutely no baring on anything involving them.

Please don't let this fester. Let it out. Move it away. and next time its brought up, just do the same. You are a ROCKSTAR.

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SARAWALKS 11/26/2011 9:44PM

    emoticon Oh, those well-trodden memory lanes...ugh...we all have our versions of this same thing...I DID actually ask my mother to stop telling me when my aunt would say certain things...not sure it helped...I think the reason she was telling me was just because she didn't have anyone else to tell and she needed to let it out too...
But no harm to ask...sometimes I wonder if parents realize at all how much this type of thing hurts. emoticon
I would love some earrings but I hate to ask you to mail them...thanks for offering, you are a sweetie, you! emoticon

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MAMADWARF 11/26/2011 9:21PM

    i love the title of this blog and really needed it. I have been doing great and for some reason(and I am not upset or anything), I am a raging chocolholic today. I just inputed everything and if I stop RIGHT NOW, I will not be over my range. I like the idea of making something, maybe I will work on my christmas card list (the gifts I bought are already wrapped dang it!) but it is a good plan and I appreciate you bringing it up. I would LOVE earings that you made and will send you my address. You are sooo sweet.

NOW, about whatshername: I gotta tell you, being 80? she is NOT gonna change and she is not gonna quit. Not because YOU are a bad person but because SHE got to be the Hero! She isnt tearing you down but building herself up! Maybe you can say to her next time something along the lines of "You know Mary, that was such a low point and having you rescue Mom the way you did, well, it sure helped me change my life and since then I have never let things get so out of control, so THANK YOU." She wont quit telling it but at least you wont feel so crappy about it.

As for your mom, can you ask her to please not tell you when "Mary" brings it up? Maybe tell her it makes you feel bad? If that doesnt work, maybe you could go with, "well, Mom, I bet you never forgot your keys again!!". Try humor. I know you have a great one cause I have been your friend on here for awhile.

And your husband? yea,once the tears come out, they freak....lol...

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