Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Here's an obvious question:
Who wants to be fat?
Not me! I am so sick of it. I am tired of waddling around, and having a fit of not being able to swing my leg out of my car to get out like every other able bodied person on the planet.
I am crippling my body by eating one piece of crap at a time.
I need to change myself. I need to remember that I have bigger plans for myself. These plans include walking 20 minutes a day which I have been doing, but I also see now that I need to do more.
I have to trust myself that I am capable of doing so much more and stop freaking worrying what other people think or want for my life. This is up to me to make changes that I can live with and that I want for myself.
I want to stop lying and pretending that everything is ok as is. It is really not.
I am a beautiful, loving, compassionately crazy (in a good way) devoted wife, manager and friend. I have abandoned myself too easily and given into the temptations of eating and satisfying myself with the sweet items that make me momentarily happy. I need to nourish my body and cherish my temple that houses my spirit. I need to lift myself up to the highest plane and recognize that I am oh so worthy and embrace that too.
It is hard to want something that takes so much work, and know that you can do, even though you have fallen short so many times. It is not about believing. I believe it. It is just that I need to do it, and stop tiring out so easily.
Who is with me sparkies? Come beat down this fat with me. I want more. I am going to get it!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Old thinking is no longer welcome around here.
I watched myself from afar for a minute yesterday. I realized that behavior that was accepting as gospel is no longer the truth for me. I indulged in a few too many pieces of chocolate yesterday and automatically, I went into my previous throw in the towel mode, and thought, "what's the use?" Seriously, I did. I admit it.
That is so yesterday. I am not the same girl who would see the lack of separation between moving and eating. I once told my previous trainer that I could NOT do my walk because I had eaten poorly. He had no idea what I was talking about. Once upon a time, I did not see the difference between those two behaviors. It was my perfectionist tendency getting the best of me. I say it out loud now, and it sounds like the reasoning of a crackhead. I know. ha ha.
Chocolate does not keep a good woman down. At least not here, and not anymore. I got up early this a.m. and did 15 mins of wii time. HA! Take that!
I had a smile on my face walking out the door for work. yeah! It's Friday, baby! Woo hoo!
I'll be away in Gettysburg, PA this weekend and while I won't have my wii time, I will have plenty of walking around. Have a great weekend, sparkies!
What sorts of thinking have you changed?
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Meal planning just makes good sense.
I am not a meal planner. Sometimes my DH will ask me "what do you want for dinner?" and I think, "Seriously, we have not had breakfast - how am I supposed to think about that?"
I used to develop a lot of anxiety around a grocery list and having to have the PERFECT plan about what meals would look like and what would be made (and how it would be done.)
Not any more. I have given up the idea that I need to be a meal planner (as in 3 square a day) in order to be successful. I don't. That is just not my style. I used to have a trainer who would plan a month in advance. All of his meals laid out. One month. In advance. Seriously. I don't have a rigid life like that.
I just don't. It does not make me better or worse. It just is - and it is fine.
What does work for me is having a lot of healthy options. Having meals pre-made on hand or easy, quick to throw together meal options so I can decide what I feel like a lot closer to mealtime.
Case in point: there is ground turkey, peppers and tomato sauce sitting in my fridge, waiting for me to combine it into my own version of stuffed peppers that I am going to make and stick in the freezer and pop out for when I want a stuffed pepper. (Truth alert - I had a stouffer's one last week and thought, pfft, I can make that on my own!)
This "planning" works for me. It takes the tendency towards "perfection" off my plate (no pun intended) and gives me options that work for me. That is the difference that I am seeing in my latest round of success. I am modifying meal planning so that it works for me.
What kinds of things do you change up to work with your style, sparkies? Inquiring minds want to know!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
It started with just an afterthought. I felt good-- lighter and happier -- after I did the Wii in the evenings before I went to bed. It didn't take much to get my heart rate up and get that happy (yes, I am moving around) feeling to jump start my progress.
Those good feelings led me to expand my routine to doing just 10 minutes in the morning before I leave for work. Today was one of those mornings, where I thought, "ahhhh, sleep...." but instead I rolled out of bed and went to the living room. Just 10 minutes was all I needed, I told myself.
I am improving my tennis skills, so it took me a little more than 10 mins to lose my 3 out of 5 tennis match with a 2 game sweep. That is some serious progress. I used to whiz through about 10 losses in that time. ha! My volleys are turning into volleys. It is a beautiful thing!
After I passed the 10 min mark, I realized how easy for me it will be to inch up in my time, while barely noticing a difference. Today was 12 minutes, but over time, I can see how my 30 mins in the evening is multiplying to something more. It is becoming easier, and it is becoming a routine. I am approaching the "just do it" theme. I mean, I do still think about it, but I know I want to do it, and I have a why. I am seeing progress in how I feel, and I am also lopping the pounds off.
I am not completely depriving myself, but I am making significantly better choices. The whole package is starting to come together. I am able to get in and out of the car more easily (THAT was getting embarrassing), and I am able to move around more without getting as winded. I am feeling less cranky, and able to keep my quick temper to a low roar. It's kind of surprising the way your whole body can work together like that. I never really thought of it as one integrated system.
My 10 minutes in the morning is a just a start. But, it is, a really good start.
What was your jumping off point, sparkies?
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
I am making choices one at a time.
Last night DH asked me if I wanted the pumpkin muffins. I had bought these for him a few days ago, and while he was initially excited to have them, it turns out he ate one and had a container with 3 remaining.
When he asked me if I wanted them, I turned him down. He threw them out. Now, once upon a time, I might have given a different response, (and quite possibly taken the container out of the trash) and I am pretty sure there were several times this week, when I thought, "I want a muffin" - but I bought them for him, and I did not want to renege or make it seem like I had anything but excellent intentions (without ulterior motives)....
Muffin love or not, I am starting to make better choices one at a time. Last night, it was no to the muffins. Today, it was the decision to use the "spare" 10 minutes this morning to work out with the wii, instead of vegging in front of the morning news. I've been thinking that just 10 mins is enough to get my heart rate elevated, and it will improve my morning mood if I just jump around a bit.
Down the road, I can see this number growing, but for now, 10 mins was just fine. It was good to know that my muscles, and circulation were already jumpstarted before I got into the car for my 1 hour long commute. (although, admittedly this morning, I was a little over zealous on the gas pedal and chopped off 15 mins from the ride.)
Each good choice helps me to build my success and momentum to the next task. I am happy with my progress and aware that staying positive helps me to keep going. I am making good strides! Woo hoo!
Have a great day, sparkies! Where do you see progress?
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