Thursday, November 10, 2011
I've told you before, and I am saying it again.
I am driving the bus.
I am responsible for every action, inaction, choice, consequence and responsibility that affects me. Sure things happen outside of my control, but how it affects me is all up to me. In fact, it is really the only thing I can control for sure.
Wow. That's a lot to take in, but it's not so bad when I realize this is nothing new. It has been the same all along. Whether I acknowledge it or not, I have been responsible for every choice and every significant event in my life. My reaction - or lack of it - has not meant that I am uninvolved. I am absolutely involved. It's all about me.
What does it mean for me? I can choose differently. I do not have push my life button and play repeat over and over again. Going on autopilot does seem like what I have done so frequently. It has not worked. I am at my known heaviest.
I have to do something different. I am in desperate need of changes. It is time for me to get behind the wheel and change direction!
Here I go!
Wednesday, November 09, 2011
I walked intervals.
I walked in the dark. (I'd see bats flying overhead.)
I walked in the early morning light. (so early in fact, that I once almost kicked a skunk). (looking down at the last second was a pretty lucky break).
I walked in unknown territory.
I walked in circles.
I walked with a stopwatch.
I walked a half marathon.
I walked by myself.
I remember my former self who walked quite a lot, and quite often.
I am getting reacquainted with my former self again and revitalizing her good habits, and making them second nature again. I went off track and it has taken me far too long to get back on course, but here I am - ready to roll!!!!
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
The fact of the matter is whether you do it, or you don't, life goes on. Time marches on without a thought as to whether you are living your life to the fullest and to your greatest potential. Time does not sit and wait for you to put your shoes on, lace up and go. Time just goes on and on.
Time is not waiting for you to be healthy and happy and fit before it disappears out the door. Time is going by, ready or not.
I don't want to look back and wonder why with regret that I did not attempt something. I want to live with gusto and remember that each of my days was spent in a pursuit of something great and worthwhile.
Would-be employers love to ask where do you see yourself in 5 years? I never have a good enough answer for that. I don't know. I am working on this finally.
I want to be fit, healthy and strong. I want my health to be robust. I want to climb trees. I want to be able to jump up off the floor at a moment's notice. I want to be able to go sledding, and stand up on skis without the fear of falling down and not being able to get back up. I have been there, and down on the floor, and it ain't pretty.
Keep your eye on the prize. It is not just that I want to look good, be lean and well muscled. I also want to feel good, peppy, and happy inside and out. I want to be comfortable in my own skin, and when someone looks at me with a gleam in their eye, I want to be able to produce my own knowing smile that the gleam is for good reason. I want to be the amazing woman I am inside on the outside too, and on many levels.
I am through living a one-dimensional life. I am done challenging others to get to know the real me, because if they discover the "real me" under all of these layers of fat, then they have passed the test and challenge to know me. It is time to discard all of these outer useless layers I have been hiding under all of these years. It is time to uncover the real me.
Be there or don't. Try or not. Life goes on. Are you going to move with it?
Are you with me, Sparkies?
Saturday, November 05, 2011
Another day tucked under my belt of good eating, no candy and more activity. I am envisioning myself in a better, bright light. I saw someone in the supermarket today who was a fit woman and she was nimbly zipping here and there. I was zipping in my own way, and thinking ahead and realizing (and accepting) that I can also some day be there too.
That was an exciting thought to not just think about, but accept for truth. One person who has given me that feeling that this is mine to grab is my friend, MOMMA LITTLE. It has been great to see her transformation and her positive attitude.
That is my difference maker lately. I have given up my negativity (it was weighing me down) and starting looking deep down in myself for strength. There are SO MANY people who inspire me - both sparkies and not. If you are reading this blog, please do count yourself among those who do.
I looked at myself in the mirror today and told myself (yes, I do have a lot of talks with myself) that while MANY inspire me and help me along, ultimately I am responsible for my success. I am responsible for everything, for doing or not doing. Some may be along for the ride to help me - or sadly those who are around to push my buttons and get under my skin, but no one can make me do anything (good or bad) without my consent. I am the one who is driving the bus. I am driving my own destiny.
The more I recognize this, and embrace it, the better I do.
This morning's diner breakfast was unlike any other. Why? I put my fork down.
I had a spinach omelette with home fries, but I did not eat all of it. I am a long standing member of the clean plate club, and I ate what I wanted, s-l-o-w-l-y (also a miraculous feat) and enjoyed it, without leaving the restaurant feeling as if I would burst. Whoa, what do you know? I can do this. I am doing this. Life is good. I am feeling in balance.
How do you visualize yourselves, sparkies?
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