Friday, August 19, 2011
I am driven by anxiety. I have tons of it and more, especially when I am not exercising. I am finally getting over some pulled back muscles and hoping to boot the DH out of the living room tonight so I can do my new Zumba Wii disc that just arrived. Zumba Virgin.
I've been recognizing the root of my issues as I work through some emotional turmoil I have been having as of late. I am learning the difference between accepting vs. settling.
Settling is second best. Settling is I couldn't have what I really wanted, so I am having this instead. Settling is not satisfying, nor soulful. Settling does not leave you with a peace of mind that you have done all that you can do. Settling is shrugging your shoulders and saying, "It's good enough" without the belief that it is truly "good enough."
Accepting is believing you gave it your all, and it still did not work out the way you planned. Acceptance is having a Plan B and still being ok if you have to turn to it. Acceptance is not the same as giving up. Acceptance eases you off the hook, when you want to do more, or want things to work out differently, there are just sometimes you have absolutely no control over the outcome. Acceptance lets you say, hey it's not me. It is just the way it worked out. But, ...
acceptance does not mean you have no responsibility in the results.
For today, I accept that I am less than perfect and I also accept that I can do a lot more than I have been doing. I accept that today is another day to try better. I accept that happiness is not found in chocolate.
Most of all, I accept that it is my right (and responsibility) to take charge of my own life.
Like Julia Roberts (in Pretty Woman), (throwback alert) - I get to say 'Who, I get to say When and How Much"
Today, I am going to do more, just because I can. :)
Happy Friday, sparkies!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
The more I do to benefit myself and live mindfully, the easier it is to see that there is no magic elixir.
It is simply living as if everything I do matters. There are consequences. The trick is to make the most of your choices, so that the good outweighs the bad, and it helps me to live a happier, more complete existence.
I am working on getting more organized. The trickle down effect is that I am not as rushed in the morning. When I am not as rushed, I leave the house in a calmer state of mind. When I am at ease when I leave the house, I am less likely to freak out in traffic. (i.e. honking or swearing).
When I drive peacefully to work (30 miles one way), I feel more energized to handle my workload in a positive manner.
When I handle my workload in a positive manner, I can get done what I need to, and know that I need not complete everything on my list at this very minute.
When I approach my work in a sensible way, I can employ my work life balance and get out of there at a reasonable hour.
When I am not frazzled with my schedule, I can leave work relieved and resume the commute with a carefree attitude.
When I am not leaning on the horn or screaming (I am after all, a Jersey Girl at heart), I arrive home in a controlled manner, and I am able to tackle my evening duties, and be nicer to my DH.
When I realize that all of these things work together, and I consciously fit them together to work for the greater good, I have a system in place that helps me accomplish my goals, and helps me move closer to my long term success. It's a win-win-win-win situation.
So far today, I am right on track.
How do you stay organized, sparkies?
Sunday, August 14, 2011
It is thrilling when I see the positive steps I am taking actually make a difference.
I willed myself not to eat after dinner last night, and the resulting payoff was a pre-breakfast 93 blood sugar reading this morning.
That is awesome. My range should be between 90-110. 93 is awesome!
It is one of the things that I can do to control my sugar.
What do you do for yourself that results in a visible payoff?
Saturday, August 13, 2011
We're on the tail end of our vacation, even though we have traveled home already. We went to a restaurant that we really liked that just came to our neck of the woods. They had many things on the menu that fall into my trigger zone, and indeed, I thought about them.
This is where my progress shows up. When I could say, "not now" and have a decent salad instead with grilled chicken. I still enjoyed my meal, but I did it without fries, and without sweetening my tea. One of my newest challenges to myself is to lay off the artificial sweeteners whenever possible. I normally add splenda, or something similar, but not today, just fresh lemon. I lived. ha ha.
I didn't choose the salad as a second best thing. I chose it because I thought about whether the momentary pleasure from something cheesy would help me in any way, or would it just add to the struggle I already feel walking around and clogging my arteries. I am a cheese-a-holic, and mere mention of the word, "melty" is enough to put me into a moment of delight and delirium. Not today. I chose differently. It is a happy moment when you can pat yourself on the back for making a good choice, and even resisting stealing any of your DH's fries.
I know (and recall from past successes) that the only way for me to win, is to stop and think it through. One day, it will be second nature, but for now, I will just stop, and think and choose.
How do you make the best choices, sparkies?
Friday, August 12, 2011
I knew better. Truly. I was just not paying attention to the label, and I polished off the remaining sugar free caramel popcorn in the bag. Calorie-wise, it could have been much worse, but stomach wise, digestion-wise, and pardon-me, gas-wise, oooh there were much better choices.
Please feel free to take a page from my lesson book:
READ THE LABEL (don't assume sugar-free means eat in large quantities....
PAY ATTENTION --- I do know that sugar free goods can often cause gastrointestinal distress, but I was not paying attention, and man, did I suffer later for it.
I was away on vacation, but ended up with a wasted, painful, unpleasant day and evening, all because of my ignorance and my little friend, maltitol.
Be advised, be forewarned, be afraid. ha ha ha
I am "back to normal" now, but in the interim, that was one ugly evening.
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