Monday, July 18, 2011
I'm making adjustments and getting myself back into a routine that includes regular exercise, stress relief and sparking. All in all, a good thing. It is taking some practice to get into the habit of making real time for myself, not just squeezing out little bits here and there. It takes an effort. It takes a thought process and a commitment to make it actually happen, and not just be something I mean to do, but just never get around to it.
My office was renovated for me last week. It was a thought bubble in my boss' head but it materialized and he made it happen for me. Wow. It's a big deal to me. I didn't ask for the changes, but already I feel really good about it. It is nice when someone treats you like you really matter. It shows in their attitude. We should absolutely have the same good feelings aimed towards ourselves. We need that same good will.
Here's to arming ourselves with self worth, and the belief that we do matter and need to do things for ourselves that further our own cause. I am doing really good on the front to improve my blood sugar. It's been under 100 all week for my fasting pre-breakfast number. Good stuff! Now, if I could only get a better handle on my weight. I know if will start to drop when I pay more attention to portions and more attention to consistently exercising. I am working on it. For the meantime, the high number is not in the mood to budge. I'll fix that, among other things.
Happy day sparkies. Try to stay cool!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
I've been exercising with intent for exactly one day now.
I had to go to an all day business retreat yesterday. I started the day off by getting up early, going to the gym, working out on the stationary bike for 20 mins.
I felt calm all day. In the past, I would be overly irritated by having to deal with the few people that royally get on my nerves. They didn't or should I say, I didn't let them. I felt relaxed and confident.
I neglected to take my blood sugar before I started exercising, but I still took it before I ate breakfast. 89 !!! That is my lowest score to date. My levels are a game of inches, everything effects the number, but minutely slow. My best reading until then was a 95. It took me months for it to be lower than 96. and then Bam, on the bike and it's 89. Whoa!
It blew me away that the bike could make that much difference. That is a GIANT incentive for me to keep it up. My blood sugar is telling me, Exercise, dammit! And I am going to do it.
I am doing other things lately which have also helped in cutting the number back - stopped eating late at night, and I am making progress on the eating more cleanly front as well. It's all coming together for the greater good. Mine!
What was your lightbulb moment, sparkies?
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
This has been a weird month for me, but I have come out on top. Unfortunately, that is where my weight is sitting also. Weighed myself this morning as a starting point, and I see now that I am at my highest weight. If I didn't face it, I would just be doing more hiding, and that only leads to more damage and more of the same.
I have not been exercising. Quitting the gym did save on finances, but it did not save on my health. I am not a disciplined person. If I am not forced, I will not do, even if I know it is the absolute best thing for me. It spills over into workouts, eating, and even homework. I do tend to go through phases where I become a virtual machine and nothing can stop me. Those moments seem to be few and far between lately. I need a little bionic man intervention!
In this past month, I have dealt with my uncle's death (and subsequent visit to a crematorium (now, that's a weird place!) my dad being hospitalized, followed by my mother being hospitalized within a couple of days of him getting out. She is still in there.
I am trying to pull myself together, and I will. I am working from home today and have jumped off with my to do list. Being active helps, and I am going to get myself in order. It has been too long where I have accepted that it is OK to be like this. It's not. I see myself on a crash course for death if I don't make some drastic changes pronto.
It's time for me to bury my past, and step out into the future.
Thursday, June 09, 2011
I am taking back my control one step and one meal at a time.
Too often, I have been grabbing whatever is available and grabbing more without any thought to the consequence or the way it would make me look and feel.
Last night, I pulled a previously baked chicken breast out of the fridge. (hubby had vacuum sealed it for freshness), shredded it, mixed it with a little Saucy Susan (throwback!!!) and cooked some veggies in the microwave. It was small. it was simple. When I was done eating that (and made it all on one plate), I stopped eating for the night. I did have some more water, which was good also. During my best successes, I drank water almost exclusively. So it means I will steer away from the Crystal Light and Diet Cokes for a while. It does not mean I can't drink anything else, but water will be my first choice.
This morning, I got up a smidge earlier and made oatmeal. Later I had some string cheese and a pbj on whole wheat. More water.
It's the simple act of making an effort on my own behalf which reinforces to myself that I am worth it and I begin to act accordingly. I am worth taking my time over. I am worth not rushing so much to work that I feel like breaking out into road rage. I am worth having a nice tidy place to live and work. I am worth making choices that feel good to me, and I am worth taking things at my pace.
Right now , I feel good about the way things are falling into place. I have a long way to go until my body is in the place of health and fitness that I want it to be, but for now, I am stepping out in faith, and making one good effort at a time.
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