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Food is My Life

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

That's what it took to wake me up. Food has been ruling my life.

I've been thinking back over the few successes I've had in my life and what was different between then and now. I embraced things differently and got past the food. I focused on small changes done well every day, and I exercised regularly.

I've gotten to the place where I am afraid to move my body. I am easily winded and it's basically from not moving my body. Duh! I put myself on a course, and now there is no turning back. I see where I am going - either I am killing myself one day at a time through my bad habits of sitting around without making efforts, or I am pushing through the I can'ts, I don't wannas, and I should not have to's.

It is easy think that only fat people have to worry about their weight. That thin people don't think about food, or don't go walk an extra mile. I'm getting my yearly review at work this week, and my boss told me that my theme is, "I go the extra mile." When it comes to work, it is true in every way. When it comes to myself, I am not doing it. I am letting myself fly the path of least resistance and I am seeing that it is coming with a cost to me.

I had plans for breakfast which I handled fine yesterday, but went out the window today in a panic because I was trying to beat some severe storms to work, which I did, by the way. Breakfast was not awful, and I can make it fit, but I can do better, and every little better I do, is a big step in the right direction for me.

The rest of my meal plans for the day went awry as well. I felt pretty sick and bloated yesterday. I decided to cut down much of my "normal" foods to see if it was one particular thing that was causing my belly so much angst yesterday. I am currently blaming the Fiber 1 Bar I ate, but I am really not sure if that is what did it. Today, I just have an apple, banana and orange with me, and I will have to get other food later.

I am not in dire straits by any means. My blood sugar is hitting some decent marks. I just know I am not where I want to be. Having the life I want is not just going to fall into my lap. I know I have to go get it. That means closing the fridge and getting up off my duff.

My goal for this month is getting my eating in order. Some hits, some misses, but it is all part of the learning curve. When I get home tonight, I am going to focus on making dinners for the rest of the week. I have some boca crumbles that I can put to good use.

Hope everyone is doing great!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDAINALABAMA 4/11/2011 10:53PM


good job with the blog but also loved the inspiring replies

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JOYMEDSALE 4/6/2011 3:25PM

    Yep, kiddo. We are all in this because of our relationship with our food. I, personally, am a foodaholic. It is my go to drug of choice when I am sad, or happy or bored or busy. It is the "fix" for everything.

We are not stupid people, but this "food devil" is a harsh task master and pushes us all the time to make the poor choice. We must keep trying - each day. Support each other and keep picking ourselves up, dusting ourselves off and moving forward.

It is a tough journey, but we can do it.......together!!

You can do it (and so can I !)


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    I think we're all struggling with this, Mar, and it is something we just have to keep working on. I have 'treats' I like to have on occasion but I have discovered that if I eat them, even counting them in my allotted limits, I don't do as well. They're like trigger foods or something...I'm not even sure. I used to LOVE the fiber bars, had one as a treat at night, but they bothered me too much. I am just one of those people who cannot handle a lot of fiber. Dr. even told me to go easy on it. Maybe it was years of not getting healthy food...don't know.
Hang in there Mar, you're doing GREAT!

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MRSCRITTERS 4/5/2011 9:16PM

    Great blog, and your head is definitely in the right place, and slowly it will all come together.
Good luck

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GEORGIA_KAY 4/5/2011 6:59PM

    These are my goals as well, and I want to do them right along with you!

Eat better, Move more. Do-able changes we really can implement in our lives. I say, let's go for it!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PARKERB2 4/5/2011 3:57PM

    Thanks for a great written blog. I can relate. Have a good day. emoticon

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DJS-DEBBIE 4/5/2011 1:22PM

    You can do it!

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CLAUDECF 4/5/2011 1:04PM

    emoticon and I know you will! emoticon

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JESSBOND 4/5/2011 12:46PM

    That's the spirit! emoticon emoticon

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MAMASHAWN 4/5/2011 11:04AM

    Your blog has given a voice to where I am right now. I no longer have the luxury of deciding "to" or "not to" do this. Every day that I just practice my old habits instead of doing the hard work toward good habits is a day that I'm headed toward disaster. I tend to get a bit pouty about leaving behind what has been "comfortable". Then I remember that those "comfortable" habits are exactly what have brought me here.

Thanks for your blog. It's reminded me that I'm not alone in this and that if you're working so hard to end the rule of food in your life, I can keep fighting, as well.


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DOODIE59 4/5/2011 10:52AM

    Knowledge is power:)

re: bloating. Wheat and/or dairy are often culprits, so if you remove one from your diet for three days and feel significantly better, you will know to avoid that food and replace it with something that provides the same nutrients but without the unfortunate side effects.

You can do this -- and the beauty of eating more healthily and exercising more is that you benefit right away -- you will feel a lot better throughout your journey, not just at goal weight. You can do this, my friend!

Have a great week --

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RIGBY31 4/5/2011 10:24AM

    Great blog, touches on many issues I'm working on. Planning and focus with a little or a lot of determination gets the job done!

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    I can only give advice of what works for me. When I first started getting control over my food was key as well.

I knew if I could just get past the first three days and get all the "crap" out of my system it would be easier to continue. In my head it was only three days. I can do anything for three days right?

It has taken me a while, but my A1C was once over 12 and is now down to 5.9 with no meds for over a year. Just remember that one good choice is all it takes. Just think of it as one choice at a time. The rest will fall into place if you give just make one good choice.

Good luck Micky, you can do it!!!

Terri =)

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TONYAWC1976 4/5/2011 9:56AM

  I had issues with the fiber one bar too. I eat the fiber one plain cereal dry as a snack to get the fiber. It doesn't make me bloated. Also sun sweet ones are good and you het a coupon for your next purchase in the bottom of the bag. You can do this. I am in the same boat you are, working on the eating.

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THENEWAMYJO 4/5/2011 9:51AM


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SARAWALKS 4/5/2011 9:44AM

    Hurrah for you, Mickey, hang in there! emoticon emoticon

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    emoticon, my friend! emoticon

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Friday, April 01, 2011

My Design-A-Life program is underway today. I have about 37 months until I turn 50 years old and in that time, I want to change my life for the better. I started looking at things I could accomplish in 30 days, and then just start multiplying. What do I want for myself in 37 months?

I want to be physically, emotionally, spiritually, fiscally, mentally

I intend to get there by:

C (Challenging myself to a higher standard)
H (Health and happiness)
A (Attitude adjustment!!!)
N (Never giving up)
E (Eating in a way that supports my goals)

I am fully confident that this is within my grasp. I know deep down in my soul that I am a courageous, take no prisoners kind of person, and while some days are going to be better than others, I will succeed!

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Who is with me, sparkies?


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:



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    Thanks for poking me, by the way! I lost getting your blog notices! I think your plan is fantastic! emoticon

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LOOZINITNOW 4/2/2011 9:09PM

    Love this program! Let's go!!!!

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GEORGIA_KAY 4/2/2011 12:17PM

    I'm with you--all the way!!!

We can do this, --we really can!

emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/2/2011 12:20:24 PM

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PINK-PEONY 4/2/2011 10:54AM

    I love your Design A Life program! I'm working on getting my kit together, too, lol.


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DIFROMWYOMING 4/2/2011 10:47AM

    I like this idea, Mar, and maybe it will encourage me to try to be healthier at 55! I am going to be 53 soon and I'm feeling....old...and stuck. I really want to give myself a chance to be a smaller, healthier, toner 55. Thanks for this!

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BAYBELIEVER 4/2/2011 8:53AM

    I love using "CHANGE" as your reminder! Awesome! Let's do it!

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DJS-DEBBIE 4/1/2011 7:42PM

    I like it!

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MRSCRITTERS 4/1/2011 5:57PM

    Thats an awesome plan, ill be alongside you on the same journey.
We can do it emoticon

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MUGGLE_MOM 4/1/2011 5:23PM

    Wow. Great Plan!!! I can't wait to read all about your wonderful successes!!!
Huge Kudos to you!!!!

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    Oh Micky it sounds like a wonderful plan and I am so excited to be here on your journey with you. If there is anything I can do to help just let me know.

Just remember, it all comes down to one choice at a time!

Terri =)

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PARKERB2 4/1/2011 3:04PM

    I like your CHANGE explanations. I will be hanging right in here with you.

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KEKEIKO 4/1/2011 12:37PM

    What is it about that big 50? I'm on a mission before I hit that number too. I'm with you Spark Sista! Let's go for it!

emoticon emoticon D = Daily Reflection: Visualize Your Weight-Loss Dream!
emoticon emoticon R = Results from Living a Healthier Lifestyle!
emoticon emoticon E = Eat Nutritional Foods and Diversify Own Fitness Program!
emoticon emoticon A = Attitude Consistency by Believing in Yourself!
emoticon emoticon M = Measure Progress without Scale!
emoticon emoticon S = Share Your Success with Others!

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POOKAQUEEN 4/1/2011 11:19AM

    I'm completely with you! That's a great way to think of it! Break it down into the basics, one at a time, and before you know it you are there!
I always love your positive outlook. Anything you set your mind to, you can do!

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SHELLEY147 4/1/2011 11:14AM

    emoticon That is a great plan!! You CAN and WILL do anything you want!! I'm right there with you my friend!! ~hugs~

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SARAWALKS 4/1/2011 11:00AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MEL_UNRAU 4/1/2011 10:26AM

    Count me in!!!

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DOODIE59 4/1/2011 9:15AM

    I got your back, MickeyMax! You can do it.

Have a great weekend --

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Climbing Mount Rushmore

Thursday, March 31, 2011

I really did not know how I was going to be able to get in. Our car broke down (boo hoo) and we were going to be riding home in the tow truck. It was a long way off the ground. I don't have much spring in my step (yet) and hoisting, well, that was not going to be pretty.

Face down on the seat, I managed to leverage myself against the seat (seal style) and then find a handhold and yank myself up. It really did feel like climbing up Mount Rushmore. I wasn't sure that I could really do it, but once it was done, I was settled, and it was okay.

It wasn't pretty, but it got the job done. I need to work on my agility, and this will be a keen reminder of why. I was beyond caring whether anyone saw me (besides my hubby). I just wanted it to be over and done with. It is - but the road to improvement is just beginning.

Spark on!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEORGIA_KAY 4/2/2011 12:33PM

    My own hubby's truck doesn't have a running board, and every time I ride in it he has to get the little (but VERY strong) step stool he made especially for me. In the snow or rain he even has to get the little rug from the back seat to place over the little stool so I don't slide off while I'm standing on it. All in all it's quite a big production just getting me into that truck. My kids say it's like transporting The Queen or something because not only is every family member hovering around nervously as one gets--then places-- the stool, another one places the rug, while yet another gives me a hand up (which is no easy task, I assure you), but it's always, without fail, watched by curious onlookers who are probably wondering what the sideshow is...so, yes, I can sure relate to your story!


But that's ok because we are changing that! Someday we'll both be able to get in an out of any vehicle without a second thought (or glance) from anyone :)

Comment edited on: 4/2/2011 12:34:01 PM

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JOYMEDSALE 4/1/2011 7:36AM

    Oh honey, I am proud of you! You are a strong and brave woman! I know the feeling, too. I was a scuba diver. The more fat on your body the more lead weights you must wear so you can "sink" Fat floats! Long story short, they had to put so much lead on me, I could not get up the ladder on the boat. I was stuck in the water. I had to take the lead belt off and my tank off IN THE WATER. Dropped the darn lead, for it was sooooo heavy (they dove for it later) and finally hoisted myself up. Everyone on the dive boat, of course was watching this little drama. That was a 7 years ago.............have not gone on a dive since.
I am hoping to attempt it again this year!

You go girl!!


BR> emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KEKEIKO 3/31/2011 7:12PM

    Gosh, a real adventure (climbing Mt. Rushmore emoticon)

Reminds me when I had to climb into a high truck. Even with those outer steps and grip handles to help people up. Me with my short legs always needs a boost from behind. Glad my children are taller than me and don't have to deal with issues that short people do.

Sliding out of the truck is almost as fun! emoticon

Hope your vehicle gets better soon. emoticon

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MRSCRITTERS 3/31/2011 4:10PM

    Thanks for sharing, i know how you feel once i tried to get out of a swimming pool by not using the steps, everyone made it look so easy, but i ended up like a beach whale hauling myself up and rolling onto the edge of the pool!!

Each day you will get stronger and you will look back at this day and be unable to believe the progress you have made

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PARKERB2 3/31/2011 3:58PM

    You set out to have to do something and you did. Be agile will come in time. Have a good day.

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SARAWALKS 3/31/2011 2:24PM

    Stay on that yellow brick road! Funny, I thought you meant the REAL Mount Rushmore! I wouldn't put it past you to climb that too... emoticon

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LINDAINALABAMA 3/31/2011 12:13PM

    i'm sorry you had that experience, your description was so funny, thanks so much for sharing. inspires me to work harder too.

a friend has invited me to go kayaking with her. she is large also. she says getting and and getting out of the kayak is a challenge and you just hope everyone else is busy getting in and out and doesn't notice you.

hmmmmmmm, i hate to give up on a new adventure just b/c of my size so i am saying YES . i am working on strength with the sapphire team but my wrist don't always enjoy the workouts.

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SLIGHTLYBRAINY 3/31/2011 10:54AM

    I think most of us have some type of story like that. It is sad that most of us can share that type of commonality, but the upside is that here on Spark, you do have people who understand.

You can and will achieve your goals of a healthy happy lifestyle. It is only one choice at a time!


Terri =)

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DIFROMWYOMING 3/31/2011 10:48AM

    I can relate so much! I have friends with trucks that are like climbing into a tree trunk for me...and I have no upper body strength at all! (shhh don't tell JoAnn or she'll be having me do extra duty on the ST! lol) We are BOTH just beginning our journeys...we'll get there!

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SHELLEY147 3/31/2011 10:41AM

    I know what you mean about the height of the tow-truck seeming like a mountain! Everytime I've had to get in one it's a test in determination! Glad you were able to get in and make it home safely! (hope nothing major is wrong with your car!)

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On the Flipside

Friday, March 25, 2011

Chances are, if you are anything like me, and like many other people on this site have been, you could be fat. That's okay. It's a starting point. It's time to drop the self loathing and the shame that comes from having a body disproportionate to the way you want to feel.

When you are ready to accept your whole body, for better or for worse, and embrace all that you are, you are ready to tackle anything. This is the mindset I am working on fully immersing myself in like a pool full of water.

I had the pleasure of talking to one of my former student staff members yesterday. He is someone who I love dearly and holds the feeling quite mutually. There is something so uplifting and encouraging to have someone who sees your best and brightest easily and doesn't look for the tarnish and the flaws.

This is the way we need to believe in ourselves. Yes, there are times when it is good to really examine where you went astray, how you can improve for next time around and what you might do differently. But there is also that piece that should be recognized that reminds you that you are beautiful. strong, caring, loving, compassionate, encouraging.....you can fill in the blank. Find your positive characteristics and think about them and give yourself the opportunity to shine.

Tearing down yourself is not the way to effect change. Recognize that you are worth every possible effort you can make, and thensome, and even if you are having a hard time believing it, just take my word for it - I know you are a beautiful, wonderful person, and it is time to let the rest of the world see that you know it, too.

On the flipside of hating yourself for your mistakes or the coulda, woulda, shouldas, you can stop right now and just appreciate yourself for all that you are. And then, sparkies. Just get out there and walk. That's where I am headed.

See you on the flipside!

Happy Friday!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GROOVYCHICK9 3/31/2011 10:19PM

    I always feel uplifted when I read your blogs. Thanks!

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TJCADDO 3/29/2011 11:10AM

    Now, I feel good. Thank you for this wonderful message. Hope you have a good day too. You hit just the right note. Thank you for sharing these wonderful thoughts. emoticon

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DJS-DEBBIE 3/27/2011 10:37AM

    Great blog!!

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PINK-PEONY 3/26/2011 3:43PM

    Thank you. Well said!


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PARKERB2 3/26/2011 2:51PM

    Thanks so much for the encourging words. It's a gloomy day here and I need an uplifting blog to read. We are all unique and precious in HIS sight. Have a good day, Mickey.

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GEORGIA_KAY 3/25/2011 4:49PM

    Thanks for the reminder that we all SHINE for someone, and that we need to be able to see that light shining out from inside ourselves too!

You have a lot of love shining out from you.

Your friends are lucky to know you!

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STARRPARENT 3/25/2011 9:40AM

    Great uplifting blog! Think I'll join you walking when I go on break this morning!

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CIVIAV 3/25/2011 9:25AM

    Absolutely looking to flip things around today. Thanks for the assistance in remembering, I was having trouble.

Happy Friday to you too!


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KEKEIKO 3/25/2011 8:56AM

    It's always a good thing to love yourself unconditionally. We expect it from others then why not for ourselves? Thank you for sharing! Hugs, Keke

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TINARENA2 3/25/2011 8:54AM

    That's right we are all valuable human beings regardless of our size. Enjoy your walk!

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JOYMEDSALE 3/25/2011 8:32AM

    Oh what a wonderful blog! Yes, we need to be better to ourselves!

Have an absolutely wonderful day!!



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DIFROMWYOMING 3/25/2011 8:21AM

    Already having a rough morning, so this was a welcome thing to read before I head out the door. Hugs.

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MUGGLE_MOM 3/25/2011 8:19AM

    This blog actually brought tears to my eyes.
Thank you!

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Find Your Fire

Thursday, March 24, 2011

You don't need anyone's permission to find the spark inside yourself that builds into a fire. It can start in the smallest of ways and before you know it, you are on the road that leads to reinventing yourself as the person you want to be and the one you can believe in.

My own road is full of twists and turns, and it always leads back to the same place. It's the place that I have deep inside my well that knows that if I turn and focus and really and truly believe that I can have it. This is what drives me forward. This is what made me come from from work last night as beat as I was and pull frozen spinach from the freezer, mushrooms from the fridge and start cooking them. I substituted cottage cheese for ricotta cheese, mainly because it was way cheaper, and the accounts have been a little thin lately. I am not a big cottage cheese fan as it were, but I find if I cook with it, I really can't tell the difference, especially if I don't dwell on it. LOL.

The act of throwing together this little casserole with pasta, made me feel accomplished and happy that I have a go-to meal when I come home from work. It is ready to go. It is a long overdue step of me finding my fire and reclaiming what is my God-given right to be healthy, active and happy. It all works together. To be the very best me I can be, all of these things need to work together. They work best for me, when I am doing things to help the process. So this is where I dig my heels in.

You have your own reasons for starting your fire. Here's what mine are: I am *&^%$ sick and tired of being someone who needs to evaluate every movement before I do it. I am plain worn out stupid tired of saying no to certain activities and vacations just because I perceive a problem, a situation or an embarrassment that MIGHT come up because I am too fat to handle it. I am tired, tired, tired of sitting on the sidelines. There are no more excuses that can make this feeling okay. I am done with it. I am throwing down the gauntlet, putting myself to the top of the list, and seeing that there is so much more to life than I have been allowing myself to reach for.

My husband categorized me as liking to stay home and chill. NO, I am not that person. It is who I have let myself become. I don't even know where she came from. She just crept up on me after letting so much time pass and finding it ok and acceptable and COMFORTABLE to do so little that I have left myself miss out.

No more. It's over. I am lighting my fire and I am going to burn this body down.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOODIE59 3/26/2011 7:30AM

    Amen! There is so much more in life to reach for! You can do this. You don't have to rush; just change a few of your behaviours and adopt more movement in your life and you will get where you want to go.

Very best wishes on your journey -- you're going to love it!

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RIGBY31 3/26/2011 7:12AM

    Excellent blog. I, too, became a person who wanted to stay home. Not until I started feeling healthy did I realized that had missed out on so much. It would be kind of easy to go back to that lifestyle; choosing not to is so much better!

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CHANGE_4_ME 3/25/2011 11:09AM

    AWESOME! You are! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DIFROMWYOMING 3/24/2011 7:45PM

    I am totally with you, sister! Even though I am still uncomfortable in some settings (like concerts) I make myself go...it's important for me to see that I can be 'out there' and survive. I love being home with my honey, but there is nothing that makes a memory more than being out there doing something exciting. Can't wait for summer to come around...we're going to try hiking a little more this year.

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MUGGLE_MOM 3/24/2011 7:39PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GEORGIA_KAY 3/24/2011 7:16PM

    I absolutely LOVE your reasons for finding your fire. The reason I love them so much is that they are all my reasons too. You could have written this for me, about me. And I can see by the many responses to this blog that I'm not the only one who feels this way. I think you zeroed in on all of us Overweight's reasons for finding our fires too.

Thank you for that!

Together, we can all stoke each other's fires, fan the flames--and pass the torch when the time comes.

emoticon emoticon

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MRSCRITTERS 3/24/2011 6:02PM

    You rock emoticon

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POOKAQUEEN 3/24/2011 4:37PM

    So motivating! I needed that kick to light my fire today! You can do it!

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PEARL-LADY 3/24/2011 1:12PM

    so understand where you are coming from...from the size of plane and restaurant seats, if they have arms on or not are they strong enough to hold me? to be always sitting at the sidelines is no fun whatsoever!

Step by step we will get there!

Lesley emoticon

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MAMASHAWN 3/24/2011 11:20AM

    wow, you really spoke to me here. I know exactly what you mean about being "sick of" all those things you've allowed to become true in your life. I sit more when I'm feeling down so I can forget about how big my backside is. But since this is YOUR blog... :)
I want to just give you a emoticon for making the awesome choices and for not settling into a lesser life, as so many do.

And here's a emoticon for taking the time to put it into a blog so that I and all these other friends of yours have a spark on a Thursday morning. It has blessed me.


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TINARENA2 3/24/2011 10:23AM

    Stoke that fire and keep it blazin'!

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KEKEIKO 3/24/2011 9:36AM

    Bravo for taking a stand! No need to stand by and be an observer any longer - you're taking control of your life and being an active participant. Hugs for a new Spark friend ~ You can do this!

This was my Feb 28th blog. I have a picture of the last two (in my blog) before they were swallowed. Thought you may want to try this recipe. You can make ahead and microwave. I modified the recipe so it's actually less than the nutritional info listed below. (I substituted "I can't believe it's not butter" instead of putting butter, and I used Pam Spray instead of greasing the pan) Let's face it ... little things add up.

Chicken with Spinach - Preheat oven 350 degrees

1 package of fresh spinach (don't open/microwave on high for 1 min, open and squeeze all the liquid out of it then chop it up)
1 cup fat free cottage cheese
1 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper

Mix all ingredients above and set aside while you prep chicken

3 full chicken breasts cut in half (6 halves) (put one at a time into a freezer bag and pound until 1/4 inch thick)

Spray glass casserole with Pam

Place chicken breast on plate and spoon 1/4 cup of spinach mixture in center, pull up both ends creating an envelope (one end over the other). You can use a toothpick to hold together but I didn't and mine stayed together. Repeat until all six are finished and placed in casserole.

Spray each piece six times with "I can't believe it's not butter" and then sprinkle garlic powder on top of each.

Bake 40 minutes

Calories 402 calories, 13 g fat, 63 g protein, 6 g carbs, 2 g dietary fiber, 4 g usable carbs.

If you let it sit for 5-10 min after baking you can pick it up and eat it like a pastry.

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CHERKYLE 3/24/2011 9:09AM

    You have now hit home with me 2 days in a row! I am not the couch potatoe, grumpy do nothing person, I have let myself become! Lets get ourTRUEselves back!!

Love it and love you!! emoticon

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LOOZINITNOW 3/24/2011 8:33AM

    Awesome attitude! Keep that fire burning!

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WYOBZM 3/24/2011 8:10AM

    emoticon emoticon

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    emoticon Just keep that fire stoked even when it tries to burn out!

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JOYMEDSALE 3/24/2011 7:44AM

    YOU GO GIRL! Life is too short! Go out and have fun, live, love and leave your mark!

I can feel the heat from your fire, already!!




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