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MICKEYMAX's Recent Blog Entries

Climbing Mount Rushmore

Thursday, March 31, 2011

I really did not know how I was going to be able to get in. Our car broke down (boo hoo) and we were going to be riding home in the tow truck. It was a long way off the ground. I don't have much spring in my step (yet) and hoisting, well, that was not going to be pretty.

Face down on the seat, I managed to leverage myself against the seat (seal style) and then find a handhold and yank myself up. It really did feel like climbing up Mount Rushmore. I wasn't sure that I could really do it, but once it was done, I was settled, and it was okay.

It wasn't pretty, but it got the job done. I need to work on my agility, and this will be a keen reminder of why. I was beyond caring whether anyone saw me (besides my hubby). I just wanted it to be over and done with. It is - but the road to improvement is just beginning.

Spark on!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEORGIA_KAY 4/2/2011 12:33PM

    My own hubby's truck doesn't have a running board, and every time I ride in it he has to get the little (but VERY strong) step stool he made especially for me. In the snow or rain he even has to get the little rug from the back seat to place over the little stool so I don't slide off while I'm standing on it. All in all it's quite a big production just getting me into that truck. My kids say it's like transporting The Queen or something because not only is every family member hovering around nervously as one gets--then places-- the stool, another one places the rug, while yet another gives me a hand up (which is no easy task, I assure you), but it's always, without fail, watched by curious onlookers who are probably wondering what the sideshow is...so, yes, I can sure relate to your story!


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But that's ok because we are changing that! Someday we'll both be able to get in an out of any vehicle without a second thought (or glance) from anyone :)

Comment edited on: 4/2/2011 12:34:01 PM

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JOYMEDSALE 4/1/2011 7:36AM

    Oh honey, I am proud of you! You are a strong and brave woman! I know the feeling, too. I was a scuba diver. The more fat on your body the more lead weights you must wear so you can "sink" Fat floats! Long story short, they had to put so much lead on me, I could not get up the ladder on the boat. I was stuck in the water. I had to take the lead belt off and my tank off IN THE WATER. Dropped the darn lead, for it was sooooo heavy (they dove for it later) and finally hoisted myself up. Everyone on the dive boat, of course was watching this little drama. That was a 7 years ago.............have not gone on a dive since.
I am hoping to attempt it again this year!

You go girl!!

Hugs!

Joy
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KEKEIKO 3/31/2011 7:12PM

    Gosh, a real adventure (climbing Mt. Rushmore emoticon)

Reminds me when I had to climb into a high truck. Even with those outer steps and grip handles to help people up. Me with my short legs always needs a boost from behind. Glad my children are taller than me and don't have to deal with issues that short people do.

Sliding out of the truck is almost as fun! emoticon

Hope your vehicle gets better soon. emoticon

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MRSCRITTERS 3/31/2011 4:10PM

    Thanks for sharing, i know how you feel once i tried to get out of a swimming pool by not using the steps, everyone made it look so easy, but i ended up like a beach whale hauling myself up and rolling onto the edge of the pool!!

Each day you will get stronger and you will look back at this day and be unable to believe the progress you have made

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PARKERB2 3/31/2011 3:58PM

    You set out to have to do something and you did. Be agile will come in time. Have a good day.

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SARAWALKS 3/31/2011 2:24PM

    Stay on that yellow brick road! Funny, I thought you meant the REAL Mount Rushmore! I wouldn't put it past you to climb that too... emoticon

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LINDAINALABAMA 3/31/2011 12:13PM

    i'm sorry you had that experience, your description was so funny, thanks so much for sharing. inspires me to work harder too.

a friend has invited me to go kayaking with her. she is large also. she says getting and and getting out of the kayak is a challenge and you just hope everyone else is busy getting in and out and doesn't notice you.

hmmmmmmm, i hate to give up on a new adventure just b/c of my size so i am saying YES . i am working on strength with the sapphire team but my wrist don't always enjoy the workouts.



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SLIGHTLYBRAINY 3/31/2011 10:54AM

    I think most of us have some type of story like that. It is sad that most of us can share that type of commonality, but the upside is that here on Spark, you do have people who understand.

You can and will achieve your goals of a healthy happy lifestyle. It is only one choice at a time!

*hugs*

Terri =)

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DIFROMWYOMING 3/31/2011 10:48AM

    I can relate so much! I have friends with trucks that are like climbing into a tree trunk for me...and I have no upper body strength at all! (shhh don't tell JoAnn or she'll be having me do extra duty on the ST! lol) We are BOTH just beginning our journeys...we'll get there!

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SHELLEY147 3/31/2011 10:41AM

    I know what you mean about the height of the tow-truck seeming like a mountain! Everytime I've had to get in one it's a test in determination! Glad you were able to get in and make it home safely! (hope nothing major is wrong with your car!)

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On the Flipside

Friday, March 25, 2011

Chances are, if you are anything like me, and like many other people on this site have been, you could be fat. That's okay. It's a starting point. It's time to drop the self loathing and the shame that comes from having a body disproportionate to the way you want to feel.

When you are ready to accept your whole body, for better or for worse, and embrace all that you are, you are ready to tackle anything. This is the mindset I am working on fully immersing myself in like a pool full of water.

I had the pleasure of talking to one of my former student staff members yesterday. He is someone who I love dearly and holds the feeling quite mutually. There is something so uplifting and encouraging to have someone who sees your best and brightest easily and doesn't look for the tarnish and the flaws.

This is the way we need to believe in ourselves. Yes, there are times when it is good to really examine where you went astray, how you can improve for next time around and what you might do differently. But there is also that piece that should be recognized that reminds you that you are beautiful. strong, caring, loving, compassionate, encouraging.....you can fill in the blank. Find your positive characteristics and think about them and give yourself the opportunity to shine.

Tearing down yourself is not the way to effect change. Recognize that you are worth every possible effort you can make, and thensome, and even if you are having a hard time believing it, just take my word for it - I know you are a beautiful, wonderful person, and it is time to let the rest of the world see that you know it, too.

On the flipside of hating yourself for your mistakes or the coulda, woulda, shouldas, you can stop right now and just appreciate yourself for all that you are. And then, sparkies. Just get out there and walk. That's where I am headed.

See you on the flipside!

Happy Friday!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GROOVYCHICK9 3/31/2011 10:19PM

    I always feel uplifted when I read your blogs. Thanks!
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TJCADDO 3/29/2011 11:10AM

    Now, I feel good. Thank you for this wonderful message. Hope you have a good day too. You hit just the right note. Thank you for sharing these wonderful thoughts. emoticon

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DJS-DEBBIE 3/27/2011 10:37AM

    Great blog!!

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PINK-PEONY 3/26/2011 3:43PM

    Thank you. Well said!

Melissa

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PARKERB2 3/26/2011 2:51PM

    Thanks so much for the encourging words. It's a gloomy day here and I need an uplifting blog to read. We are all unique and precious in HIS sight. Have a good day, Mickey.

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GEORGIA_KAY 3/25/2011 4:49PM

    Thanks for the reminder that we all SHINE for someone, and that we need to be able to see that light shining out from inside ourselves too!

You have a lot of love shining out from you.

Your friends are lucky to know you!
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STARRPARENT 3/25/2011 9:40AM

    Great uplifting blog! Think I'll join you walking when I go on break this morning!

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CIVIAV 3/25/2011 9:25AM

    Absolutely looking to flip things around today. Thanks for the assistance in remembering, I was having trouble.

Happy Friday to you too!

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KEKEIKO 3/25/2011 8:56AM

    It's always a good thing to love yourself unconditionally. We expect it from others then why not for ourselves? Thank you for sharing! Hugs, Keke

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TINARENA2 3/25/2011 8:54AM

    That's right we are all valuable human beings regardless of our size. Enjoy your walk!
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JOYMEDSALE 3/25/2011 8:32AM

    Oh what a wonderful blog! Yes, we need to be better to ourselves!

Have an absolutely wonderful day!!

Hugs,
Joy

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DIFROMWYOMING 3/25/2011 8:21AM

    Already having a rough morning, so this was a welcome thing to read before I head out the door. Hugs.

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MUGGLE_MOM 3/25/2011 8:19AM

    This blog actually brought tears to my eyes.
Thank you!
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Find Your Fire

Thursday, March 24, 2011

You don't need anyone's permission to find the spark inside yourself that builds into a fire. It can start in the smallest of ways and before you know it, you are on the road that leads to reinventing yourself as the person you want to be and the one you can believe in.

My own road is full of twists and turns, and it always leads back to the same place. It's the place that I have deep inside my well that knows that if I turn and focus and really and truly believe that I can have it. This is what drives me forward. This is what made me come from from work last night as beat as I was and pull frozen spinach from the freezer, mushrooms from the fridge and start cooking them. I substituted cottage cheese for ricotta cheese, mainly because it was way cheaper, and the accounts have been a little thin lately. I am not a big cottage cheese fan as it were, but I find if I cook with it, I really can't tell the difference, especially if I don't dwell on it. LOL.

The act of throwing together this little casserole with pasta, made me feel accomplished and happy that I have a go-to meal when I come home from work. It is ready to go. It is a long overdue step of me finding my fire and reclaiming what is my God-given right to be healthy, active and happy. It all works together. To be the very best me I can be, all of these things need to work together. They work best for me, when I am doing things to help the process. So this is where I dig my heels in.

You have your own reasons for starting your fire. Here's what mine are: I am *&^%$ sick and tired of being someone who needs to evaluate every movement before I do it. I am plain worn out stupid tired of saying no to certain activities and vacations just because I perceive a problem, a situation or an embarrassment that MIGHT come up because I am too fat to handle it. I am tired, tired, tired of sitting on the sidelines. There are no more excuses that can make this feeling okay. I am done with it. I am throwing down the gauntlet, putting myself to the top of the list, and seeing that there is so much more to life than I have been allowing myself to reach for.

My husband categorized me as liking to stay home and chill. NO, I am not that person. It is who I have let myself become. I don't even know where she came from. She just crept up on me after letting so much time pass and finding it ok and acceptable and COMFORTABLE to do so little that I have left myself miss out.

No more. It's over. I am lighting my fire and I am going to burn this body down.



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOODIE59 3/26/2011 7:30AM

    Amen! There is so much more in life to reach for! You can do this. You don't have to rush; just change a few of your behaviours and adopt more movement in your life and you will get where you want to go.

Very best wishes on your journey -- you're going to love it!
Deirdre

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RIGBY31 3/26/2011 7:12AM

    Excellent blog. I, too, became a person who wanted to stay home. Not until I started feeling healthy did I realized that had missed out on so much. It would be kind of easy to go back to that lifestyle; choosing not to is so much better!

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CHANGE_4_ME 3/25/2011 11:09AM

    AWESOME! You are! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DIFROMWYOMING 3/24/2011 7:45PM

    I am totally with you, sister! Even though I am still uncomfortable in some settings (like concerts) I make myself go...it's important for me to see that I can be 'out there' and survive. I love being home with my honey, but there is nothing that makes a memory more than being out there doing something exciting. Can't wait for summer to come around...we're going to try hiking a little more this year.

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MUGGLE_MOM 3/24/2011 7:39PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GEORGIA_KAY 3/24/2011 7:16PM

    I absolutely LOVE your reasons for finding your fire. The reason I love them so much is that they are all my reasons too. You could have written this for me, about me. And I can see by the many responses to this blog that I'm not the only one who feels this way. I think you zeroed in on all of us Overweight's reasons for finding our fires too.

Thank you for that!

Together, we can all stoke each other's fires, fan the flames--and pass the torch when the time comes.

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MRSCRITTERS 3/24/2011 6:02PM

    You rock emoticon

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POOKAQUEEN 3/24/2011 4:37PM

    So motivating! I needed that kick to light my fire today! You can do it!

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PEARL-LADY 3/24/2011 1:12PM

    so understand where you are coming from...from the size of plane and restaurant seats, if they have arms on or not are they strong enough to hold me? to be always sitting at the sidelines is no fun whatsoever!

Step by step we will get there!

Lesley emoticon

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MAMASHAWN 3/24/2011 11:20AM

    wow, you really spoke to me here. I know exactly what you mean about being "sick of" all those things you've allowed to become true in your life. I sit more when I'm feeling down so I can forget about how big my backside is. But since this is YOUR blog... :)
I want to just give you a emoticon for making the awesome choices and for not settling into a lesser life, as so many do.

And here's a emoticon for taking the time to put it into a blog so that I and all these other friends of yours have a spark on a Thursday morning. It has blessed me.

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TINARENA2 3/24/2011 10:23AM

    Stoke that fire and keep it blazin'!
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KEKEIKO 3/24/2011 9:36AM

    Bravo for taking a stand! No need to stand by and be an observer any longer - you're taking control of your life and being an active participant. Hugs for a new Spark friend ~ You can do this!

This was my Feb 28th blog. I have a picture of the last two (in my blog) before they were swallowed. Thought you may want to try this recipe. You can make ahead and microwave. I modified the recipe so it's actually less than the nutritional info listed below. (I substituted "I can't believe it's not butter" instead of putting butter, and I used Pam Spray instead of greasing the pan) Let's face it ... little things add up.

Chicken with Spinach - Preheat oven 350 degrees

1 package of fresh spinach (don't open/microwave on high for 1 min, open and squeeze all the liquid out of it then chop it up)
1 cup fat free cottage cheese
1 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper

Mix all ingredients above and set aside while you prep chicken

3 full chicken breasts cut in half (6 halves) (put one at a time into a freezer bag and pound until 1/4 inch thick)

Spray glass casserole with Pam

Place chicken breast on plate and spoon 1/4 cup of spinach mixture in center, pull up both ends creating an envelope (one end over the other). You can use a toothpick to hold together but I didn't and mine stayed together. Repeat until all six are finished and placed in casserole.

Spray each piece six times with "I can't believe it's not butter" and then sprinkle garlic powder on top of each.

Bake 40 minutes

Calories 402 calories, 13 g fat, 63 g protein, 6 g carbs, 2 g dietary fiber, 4 g usable carbs.

If you let it sit for 5-10 min after baking you can pick it up and eat it like a pastry.

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CHERKYLE 3/24/2011 9:09AM

    You have now hit home with me 2 days in a row! I am not the couch potatoe, grumpy do nothing person, I have let myself become! Lets get ourTRUEselves back!!

Love it and love you!! emoticon

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LOOZINITNOW 3/24/2011 8:33AM

    Awesome attitude! Keep that fire burning!

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WYOBZM 3/24/2011 8:10AM

    emoticon emoticon

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 3/24/2011 7:52AM

    emoticon Just keep that fire stoked even when it tries to burn out!

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JOYMEDSALE 3/24/2011 7:44AM

    YOU GO GIRL! Life is too short! Go out and have fun, live, love and leave your mark!

I can feel the heat from your fire, already!!


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There's Freedom in Health

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

There's freedom in health. You can do what you want. You don't have to stop and think about it - Can I do this? The hesitation and the worrying are gone. You can stop fretting and move with ease and know that step after step, your body will be there to support you.

I had a good week. Last Friday, I had the day off. My boss gave it to me as a nice little bonus. I was ready for it. I enjoyed it. I tackled overdue errands and soaked up as much of the sunshine as I could. It was a perfect 70 degree day. As I was moving trash containers around outside, I was thinking what a gift it was to be able to move freely. Even though my knee has been bothering me as of late, I have been able to walk, and get around without issue.

There's a lot of freedom in being able to do things and go where you want to without stopping to worry about - will I fit on the ride, squeeze into the booth? have a place to sit? You know these questions if you have asked them yourself.

The answer is not only can you do it ---- but you should. My quality of life has improved dramatically when I make the small steps to improve my cardio, eat better, move around more. Success begets success. It's easy. Once you start moving a little and prove to yourself that you can do it, you want to do more.

So that is where I am. I have proved to myself that I can do it, and I want to move a little more.

What are you going to ask yourself today, sparkies?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRSCRITTERS 3/24/2011 5:46PM

    Your blog posts are always so awesome and inspiring.
I just moaned that i had to go out in the rain to walk the dogs, but now i am greatful i was able to go out and walk, and in fact i actually enjoyed splashing in the puddles in my rain boots
Thanks for your inspiration emoticon

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PARKERB2 3/24/2011 7:34AM

    I am moving more and enjoying it! I try to do more and more until I'm up to about an hour of exercise, be it walking, lifting weights, etc. Glad you blogged on this topic today and hope all is well with you. Have a good day. emoticon

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JEN_BACK2BASICS 3/23/2011 3:08PM

    Awesome!! I still ask myself those questions out of habit. Eventually I will realize I'm smaller than I used to be and I can fit between those two chairs or hop on that ride.

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 3/23/2011 11:38AM

    You preach the truth sister! Here's to freedom! emoticon

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BAYBELIEVER 3/23/2011 11:05AM

    Way to go! Someone else had posted a status this week that she finds it incredible that she has to EXPEND energy in order to GET energy! Aaaah. Kind of like the gift that keeps on giving, you know!?!?
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STARRPARENT 3/23/2011 9:45AM

    Little daily things mean so much when you're able to do them. Like you said, fitting in booths at restaurants or fitting in rides. Plus, you're able to keep up with your kids who like to do those kinds of things.

It is wonderful to be healthy!

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CIVIAV 3/23/2011 9:42AM

    There is indeed freedom and I love it. Last year I broke my ankle and was bedridden for a couple of months and housebound over the winter. It is like flying to be able to move around despite the snow this year and my body feels just that much better being 30lbs lighter.

I was thinking about what you were this morning as I was taking the steps and realizing I'm not as out of breath as I was. I am game to take on additional fitness activities too.

WOOHOO for us!

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CHERKYLE 3/23/2011 9:39AM

    YEs Yes!! I have asked myself those questions! One of my low days was when I rode amusement go carts on vacation. I could not buckle the strap, but instead of drawing more attention to myself I went (1/2 buckled) the buckle got caught in the wheel and shut my ride down that I had to be escorted from! The embarrassment! I was mortified!

Never again!! The weight is slowly but surely coming off!!

Comment edited on: 3/23/2011 9:40:41 AM

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BRAVENEWGRL 3/23/2011 8:54AM

    There is a lot of freedom in not having to over analyze every task or fun thing. I had never thought of it that way...

Congrats on the loss today!!!
Have a great day :)

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JIMDAB 3/23/2011 8:51AM

    Very good point!!!!! Thanks for the reminder and the motivation.

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Recognition

Friday, March 11, 2011

I was truly tired going to bed last night. It wasn't even 10pm, and I was already in there. I remember wanting to eat, but deciding to go lay down instead and this thought popped into my head.

What if?

What if, I had absolutely no angst about anything. What if, I could just accept things as they are (including myself) and just know, deep down that everything works out, and no amount of me pushing and pulling against things is going to make a bit of a difference - except making myself nuts in the process.

What if I am completely capable at my job, and can do things well, and at times, not do things so well, and it is all still perfectly fine. Would I stop worrying about things then?

What if I accepted myself, flaws, good points, and all, and just knew, and deep down believed that I am fine just as I am. I was having a Stuart Smalley plus Sally Field moment. I am good enough, I am smart enough and doggone it, people like me. They really like me.

There's where I went last night. I put the thoughts of food aside; I pushed the concerns of the day and meetings out of my head; I stop fretting. I went to sleep and woke up feeling relaxed and realizing that is just where I am now.

I am accepting of who I am and where I am going. I know I can handle things, and I know I am facing some nonsense at work, but all of those things will work out - and I don't have to get all wacky about them,

Things are working out exactly as they should, and I choose to believe that my part in them will all work out fine.

Happy Sparking and HAPPY FRIDAY!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CIVIAV 3/17/2011 7:31AM

    I absolutely love your positivity!
Subscribing now...

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GEORGIA_KAY 3/14/2011 7:46PM

    I love these "Ah Ha" moments. Glad you had one :)

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MORTICIAADDAMS 3/14/2011 12:19PM

    What a wonderful place to be in. I know that you are right.

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LINDAINALABAMA 3/14/2011 10:12AM

    GREAT BLOG.

I AGREE, EVERYTHING IS AS IT SHOULD BE AND YOU ARE GREAT.

THANKS FOR THIS.

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MSHUFFNPUFFN 3/13/2011 10:03PM

    Thank you!! Awesome blog post!! Many blessings to you on the journey--we can do this!



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DIFROMWYOMING 3/13/2011 9:33AM

    I'm tardy getting here to read this, but I should have read it days ago....just reading through this had me relaxing. Wonderful!

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HYDROQUEEN 3/13/2011 9:15AM

    Good one! Thank you. emoticon

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TJCADDO 3/12/2011 2:51PM

    They do really like you!!! You come across as caring, funny, vunerable and oh so real. Always enjoy reading your posts. emoticon

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TALLERANT 3/12/2011 10:02AM

    emoticon

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CLAUDECF 3/12/2011 6:16AM

    Wow! This is an awesome blog! emoticon

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MRSCRITTERS 3/11/2011 2:50PM

    Just found your spark page and blog. You are both emoticon
Good luck on your journey emoticon

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DJS-DEBBIE 3/11/2011 1:45PM

    Wow, that is awesome!

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LOOZINITNOW 3/11/2011 12:37PM

    Thank you! I need to really soak this in myself.

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RIGBY31 3/11/2011 10:29AM

    Love your Smalley/Field mantra! Your blog is so positive and is a great reflection on how "all will work out fine". Thank you.

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CHERKYLE 3/11/2011 10:00AM

    Very good thoughts!!

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PLSMOM 3/11/2011 9:59AM

    Thanks for the words of wisdom this morning! emoticon

Gail

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GINA180847 3/11/2011 9:45AM

    Thank you for the very uplifting thoughts and comments. It is like a very long mantra.

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LIVNGLEGND 3/11/2011 9:43AM

    emoticon

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JAE_HENNINGTON 3/11/2011 9:36AM

  AS MY BEST FRIEND ALWAYS TELLS ME WHEN I START FEELING DOWN..EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 3/11/2011 9:27AM

    Awesome blog. Worry about the things you have control over like your food and exercise and put the rest in the universe's inbox to take care of.

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SARAWALKS 3/11/2011 9:20AM

    Thanks, Mickey! GREAT blog, I've been coming to much the same conclusion about me and stuff and all that, over the last few years, and spark has just helped me put the pedal to the metal on it. SO TRUE. And I loved reading about your Wii baseball! You slugger! I used to play softball, had a s----y arm but was pretty good at hitting and running bases. Not a bad catcher either. Training for the 5K brings back those memories. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DEBBIEKAY1 3/11/2011 9:19AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticonYou Go Girl!

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