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Time to Roll

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The handwriting is on the wall, as they say. If I don't start taking care of myself PRONTO, I can expect to live the life my father has lately. He is back in the hospital, having suffered another heart attack on Christmas eve.

I had a doc's appt on Monday with the gallbladder specialist. The "snow-nado" displaced that until tomorrow. I am grateful. I have been dreading going and having an extra day or two helped me to get "psyched up" for it.

Christmas was nice. DH gave me a kindle. That was exciting and surprising. All of the other things he gave me were geared towards being supportive too, He was happy with his loot too, and handled the change in plans on Christmas to go see my pop and family with ease, even though it included the dreaded Jersey Turnpike! Ha ha ha.

I am making big strides towards getting my eating and exercise plan together. I go back to work in a week. I need to do some decent housecleaning and get organized to make sure my time at home is not wasted on laying around, although I have been doing a lot of that. I have been so darn tired lately. Part condition, part medication, part laziness. :)

I have so much I want to do. I remind myself that it all starts with a single step. I make my own choices. I put my life in motion. I manage my own response to the life events around me.

I am a very strong (some would say exceptionally) strong woman. I have been through a lot in my life, and no doubt will be through a lot more. It's been tough at times, but it helps me to appreciate the wonderful, blissful moments of joy in my life and see a lot of good, that others might miss. I am keenly aware of my own gifts and how I fit into the picture. I didn't always have such an easy time with that.

Where do I go from here? I make an eating plan for today and stick to it. I'll make a run to the grocery store and get more frozen veggies. I'll pick up some apples and bananas. I know what to do - I just need to do it!!!!!

Then I need to start to exercise. I'll do some wii around the Christmas tree. and If I am a good girl, I'll hang out with my kindle later. :)

Hope you all have a very festive day and a beautiful new year! It's our time to renew and refresh ourselves.

What are you going to do for yourself today to refresh and renew?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHANGE_4_ME 12/29/2010 12:08PM

    Sounds like you and me have some things in common. We know what needs to be done, we just need to do it. Glad to hear that your Dad survived the heart attack. I wish you both the best on upcoming medical issues. Both of you will need to make changes it seems. Please take care of your health and urge him to do the same. God bless you both and keep you safe and healthy.

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1STARVINGARTIST 12/29/2010 1:22AM

    Sorry to hear about your dad. That is rough. I hope all works out well with him. You are a very strong woman and I know that you are going to be successful because you are strong. Congrats on the kindle, that is a great gift and and a great way to reward yourself for doing well. Enjoy it, and Happy New Year!

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TINARENA2 12/28/2010 9:29PM

    Sorry about your dad. You've got the right steps in mind to help yourself, keep proceeding forward with them. You can do it!
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BAYBELIEVER 12/28/2010 3:23PM

    Love it! Your reward for being a good girl is time with the Kindle! Way to go! Hope your day went as planned!

I will pray for your father, and for you as you continue to get healthy pronto!

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MUGGLE_MOM 12/28/2010 1:27PM

    I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Anything I can do? Good luck with the doc tomorrow. it might be a tough visit, but knowledge is power. I know exactly how powerful you are, it will give your some tools to use that power.

Wishing you peace.

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TERRIJ_1 12/28/2010 12:40PM

    Sorry to hear about your dad.
Glad to hear about your new health plans.
Take care happy holiday. emoticon

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RIGBY31 12/28/2010 12:07PM

    I'm sorry your dad is having a hard time right now. Hope he's on the mend. Your blog was full of plans that will surely make you suceed... one step at a time! I've been walking with my daughters (here visiting from the BostonBlizzard). They love the sunshine and I love that I can keep pace them (they're athletes). I'm happy 2011 is coming!

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DJS-DEBBIE 12/28/2010 10:21AM

    Sorry about your dad ~ I hope he is doing better.

Both my daughter and myself had laparoscopic gall bladder surgery this year. You will feel SO much better after it is done. I was having lots of 'little' problems that I did not realize were related to my gall bladder until it was gone and so were they.

Yesterday I reset all my trackers and went back to the Fast Start. I also picked up The Spark in paperback - it has some new stuff that I am reading right now. Tempting as it was, I am not waiting until New Years Day to get going again.

Let's make 2011 our year!

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DONNAEDA 12/28/2010 9:57AM

    sorry to hear about your dad, but you can do something about your health now. I had gallbladder surgery and they did it authroscopically and it was a breeze. So don't worry about that. Just make yourself healthy so you can face what is down the road.

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DIFROMWYOMING 12/28/2010 9:56AM

    I'm working on this, probably as a blog, to fit in with the 200+ teams weekly question to plan what I want my life to look like 1, 2 and 5 years from now. I've been spending time thinking on that.
I got a Kindle last Christmas and LOVE it, so I hope you'll enjoy yours, too.
I'm re-booting. Starting with good food plans, exercise...and FOCUS on my goals for the year. I was stagnant in 2010...and then had an upswing at the end of the year and am not where I want to be. The rest of this is up to ME.
I'm with you, my friend! Hope your dad recovers well.

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 12/28/2010 7:20AM

    So sorry to hear about your dad. That alone can be a pretty good reminder why health is so important. Make your plan and implement!

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LOSTLIME 12/28/2010 7:16AM

    emoticonone step at a time.

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NWLIFESRC 12/28/2010 7:08AM

    Keep the faith

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Guilty Pleasures

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

I've been savoring silly moments lately and I've been thinking about some personal guilty pleasures. Here's some I don't mind sharing; :)

1. Reality TV - Bethenny Getting Married, Millionaire Matchmaker (sometimes), Top Chef, Survivor, Amazing Race,

2. As a car passenger, looking in people's windows at night -- love to see families, and like to get quick peek at decor. Thankfully, I've never seen anything I "shouldn't."

3. Magazines. I am a magazine junkie, plain and simple.

4. Giving people nicknames. It's a habit I have had for so long, and sometimes, my not so nice side shows. :)

5. Asking to speak to the store or restaurant manager, so I can compliment a cashier, or server. (I don't tell them why I want to see them in advance. I always enjoy the look of terror in their eyes. ha ha). If I have a complaint, I just write a letter. :)

6. Stealing blankets. I don't normally cop to this, but my DH calls me the Blankie Bandito.

7. Pens. same as magazines. See above.

8. Wing. on youtube. My students beg me not to play a "Wing" video - but truly I can't help it. Mama Mia makes me laugh out loud over and over again. It's a sickness.

9. Postcards. I can go to the beach and want to send 30 postcards. I've done this since I was a kid. A good friend of mine would send me the free cheap ones with advertisements on them and I always loved them.

10. Candy cigarettes. I am not a smoker, never "really" have been but those suckers are sugary and good. (and off the menu).

11. I'd say pizza, but I don't feel guilty about it. :)

I'm sure I will come up with more. I am thinking about all the things I love besides food!
Ok, I snuck a couple in there, but mostly it's about the experience --- and not the reward. :)

What are your guilty pleasures?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDAINALABAMA 12/23/2010 4:19PM

    YOU CAN SEND ALL OF YOUR STICKER SHEETS TO ME, I LOVE TO SCRAPBOOK.

GUILTY PLEASURES: GREAT TOPIC

HMMMM - CHOCOLATE IN ANY FORM

PIZZA HUT PEPPERONI PIZZA WITH EXTRA CHEESE

DRIVING UP TO THE STATE PARK AND ILLEGALLY FEEDING CORN TO THE DEER WHO COME RIGHT TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD BY THE CAMP GROUND.


ASKING MY DAUGHTER TO GET ME THINGS OR DO LITTLE THINGS FOR ME WHENEVER SHE COMES IN TO THE ROOM.

SITTING FOR HOURS WATCHING TV WITH A DOG IN MY LAP.

GOO GOO CLUSTER ICE CREAM - I CAN'T FIND IT IN THE STORES ANYMORE

NOT CLEANING THE HOUSE IS I GUESS THE BIGGY

PROCRASTANATING IS ANOTHER BIG ONE

SLEEPING VERY LATE, STAYING UP VERY LATE

I COULD GO ON AND ON

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PINK-PEONY 12/23/2010 12:22AM

    What a fun topic. My current guilty pleasure is too much time in the shower. We put in a tankless heater, and I do a lot of strength training.

Melissa

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LARIJOY 12/22/2010 9:39PM

    TV marathons...NCIS, Clean House, Buffy the Vampire Slayer...I just get sucked in. This is a very fun topic buddy!

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DIFROMWYOMING 12/22/2010 4:43PM

    Love Top Chef....and SciFi (old name) shows like Eureka...and I love Tina Fey.
I like reading on my kindle. I love reading history and mystery novels but I will cop to also liking to read trashy romances when I want something light. Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series still can make me cry...it's the only book I've read twice.
I like dark chocolate peanut butter....I have it on whole wheat english muffins sometimes and I don't care. I also like Lindt dark chocolate with sea salt...a little bit goes a long way, and I do not deny myself either of those!

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COUNTRYNINJA 12/22/2010 4:23PM

    I give people nicknames too!!!

I have to say Taco Bell is my guilty pleasure- it's so bad...but so good! emoticon

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SUSANS111 12/22/2010 4:12PM

    Those are good ones.
I always feel guilty when I stay in my bathrobe all day, but I love those lazy days every now and then.

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STIPER23 12/22/2010 4:09PM

    Stickers...and I don't know why! I just can't resist a cute sheet of stickers and never really have anywhere to put them!

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Joy in My Heart

Monday, December 20, 2010

It's bliss.

I recognize right where I am and I am loving my life, and I am loving who I am.

Five-ish years ago, I moved from a job I loved, to a new city where I did not know how I would fit in, and how things would be. I left for 2 reasons - my mother seemed to be dying, and my husband HATED living where we were.

When I told my manager I was leaving, he offered me the moon to stay. It was very gratifying to hear. He was willing to let me work a 4 day work week and fly me home to visit my mother the other days. He made that up off the top of his head. He would have pretty much given me anything to stay. But I had already accepted a new job, and was ready to go. Nothing he could have given me would have helped my hubby.

While I was at that job, I dropped 70 lbs which was awesome, but I did it to lose weight. It was helping my health so very much, but that progress meant nothing to me. I had my health at that time, and I refused to see the writing on the wall - what could happen if I did not have my health.

I was thinner, but I was so very unhappy. I was tragically sad, I was depressed. I was desperate. I talked to a therapist who tried to help me re-engage in my life. I remember her saying something like she had never seen anyone disassociate so much with their body before. See that? I was a first. I was thinner, but I hated myself. I could not see my own gifts nor comprehend why I was even living. I was an empty shell.

Fast forward to today. I am in that same job where I landed 5-ish years ago. I went from a mom and pop run place to a place with over 5,000 employees. It still has a homey feeling and I have close relationships with many people who work there. I have found a way to fit in and actually I make friends quite easily. I've learned that I am an excellent manager.

I've been out of work for medical reasons for the last couple of weeks. I am off the next couple of weeks because we're closed for the holidays. I've had time to re-focus most of my energies on myself. In that time, I am loving myself and accepting myself for the person I have become.

I love life. I laugh - a LOT! I have worked on making my marriage a priority and it is good. I have a wonderful community church where I'm able to worship as I like. My mom is still with us and has helped me to re-energize my life as of late. I have creative talents that I use to make jewelry and try other crafty stuff. I am a good writer. I am losing weight again and heading to lower numbers but no longer for sheer numbers that I was in the past. I am doing it because my body appreciates it and it is good for me.

For so long, I sought purpose for my life, and when I could not find any, I thought I had none. I thought I was nothing. I don't see myself through those same eyes anymore. I see myself as the joyful, loving, positive, encouraging happy camper that I always longed to be. Now I am that person. It's joyful. I am joyful.

Wishing you the ability to see yourself with new loving and appreciative eyes. Take a moment and see yourself as others see you. It could open up a world of difference.

Happy Sparking! I love you guys!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAYBELIEVER 12/21/2010 9:32PM

    Great job! It is work getting there, but you are doing a great job at loving yourself and finding all the blessings in your life! Congratulations. What a Christmas present to yourself...and those around you!

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DIFROMWYOMING 12/20/2010 12:42PM

    I am glad you have found joy in who you are today, right now, and can appreciate all the wonderful qualities in you that we all appreciate, too!
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RIGBY31 12/20/2010 12:27PM

    Oh, I really really really needed to read your blog this morning. Thank you so very much!

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AFTERMYKIDS 12/20/2010 11:12AM

    I don't know why so many of us have a problem with accepting ourselves and really seeing what WE Need. Congrats to you for seeing How Great You are!! Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful Story emoticon

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DONNAEDA 12/20/2010 10:18AM

    thank you so much for sharing your story.

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MINDYJ1 12/20/2010 9:29AM

    You have what everyone wants! Content with who you are and where you are in life! You are truly blessed!

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SARAWALKS 12/20/2010 8:50AM

    Oh, this is beautiful to read and you are beautiful! I'm so glad you KNOW it now!
emoticon emoticon emoticon
Wishing you even more joy in this wonderful season!
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CLAUDECF 12/20/2010 8:42AM

    it's so wonderful that you see yourself for what you are, a great person! emoticon emoticon and happy holidays to you! emoticon

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 12/20/2010 8:37AM

    I am so glad you have found so much JOY! emoticon

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 12/20/2010 8:34AM

    So glad you are now your authentic happy self!

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FRAN_CVLRN 12/20/2010 8:34AM

    You're comfortable in your own skin and you've given me words to think about. What a terrific attitude you have!

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Jump Started

Friday, December 17, 2010

My crazy low carb kick start has helped me to lose about 15 lbs in the last 2 weeks. I am thrilled about it and while I wonder if the weight loss will last, I know I just need to forge ahead with the plan regardless.

I'm not doing it for the weight loss. I am doing it for my blood sugar. My sugar numbers are not going down as quickly as I had hoped, but the weight is falling off. It is actually weird (and I am NOT complaining) but I have this weird feeling about the pounds disappearing. Did you ever read that Stephen King "Thinner" story? That's kind of how I feel when I hop on the scale every morning. I am taking my readings on the glucose monitor and on the scale daily. I am tracking my food in a log I am keeping (off line.) Yesterday was a tough eating day, but I slogged through it. Yesterday I gained two pounds. Today those pounds are gone and thensome. It is a weird roller coaster ride as my body adjusts to the changes. Pounds dropped will help the overall scheme of things also.

It's weird for me in that for so long I focused on the weight and nothing good came of it. Now, I am focusing on my health, and the weight is coming off as a by product. It's about time!!! I have more to do. My biggest excitement comes from the men's 2x hoodie that I am wearing. I bought this size by mistake, but much to my surprise, even though it is snug, it fits! Woot!

So I am enjoying my low carb jumpstart. I know I say it like this won't always be my eating plan, when I guess in fact, it will. For now, though, I am taking it one day at a time. Here's to seeing all of us a little thinner down the road.

Happy sparking! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GIBBLES5 12/19/2010 10:26PM

    You are awesome!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Kim

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1STARVINGARTIST 12/19/2010 12:20AM

    Good for you! You are doing a great job taking charge of your health--and making great choices. Keep up the good work! Congratulations on the hoodie! Woot!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MSHOPPER63 12/18/2010 11:06AM

    Mick your health is improving overall with the eating changes. I know the numbers on the scale is a huge motivator, take it one day at a time emoticon

Gosh I wish I could handle the low carb diet but I have unsuccessfully tried it several times. I'm so happy it's working for you my friend.

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CLAUDECF 12/18/2010 4:47AM

    First, emoticon for asking me to be your SparkFriend! emoticon emoticon
I don't know about low carb stuff, only that it's something I couldn't do, but then we are all different, aren't we? emoticon
But we do share lots of things and one of them is keeping you eyes on the glucose monitor. I don't have diabetes, but had cholesterol and high blood pressure. And the only thing that got me exercising was doctor's orders.
I dropped pounds when I started huffing, puffing emoticon and exercising, keeping my eye on the health progress instead of the scales.
So let's go on fighting for our health! emoticon emoticon and Happy Christmas emoticon emoticon

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DIFROMWYOMING 12/17/2010 9:44PM

    I keep hearing about low carb everywhere I turn and it makes me wonder if I should be thinking about it....can you share in an email how low carb you're going? I put the tracker on this morning and found I'd gone over an entire days worth in just breakfast! (I have oatmeal)
So...I'd love to hear what you're doing.
And CONGRATS! You are doing great!
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RIGBY31 12/17/2010 5:16PM

    Your body is doing what is should right now... and weight loss is a Major benefit!! Good health to you.

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PARKERB2 12/17/2010 1:01PM

    View it as a lifestyle change you are doing for your health and well being over all. Hang in there. Good luck. emoticon

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BAYBELIEVER 12/17/2010 12:31PM

    Keep it up! The sugar numbers will come down too! You have your eye on an even bigger prize than less weight! You are shooting for health! That's an even bigger goal in my opinion! Keep up the great work!
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MKT-PLAN 12/17/2010 11:34AM

    Good job! Your fellow diabetic is cheering you on. I can totally relate. Hugs and Happy Friday!

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 12/17/2010 11:17AM

    That's great about the hoodie! emoticonIt's good you're doing this for your health and not a diet! When I think of it as a diet, it kind of makes it miserable! emoticon emoticon

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I'm Buying Beads today

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I hit my 25 lb weight loss milestone today! Woo hoo!

I know if I had not been diagnosed with diabetes a couple of weeks ago, I would still be spinning my wheels. I was re-gaining and losing the same 10 pounds over and over. Now, I have just been at a happy deficit. True, I have OVERHAULED my eating habits and I have cut out most junk. I'm not prepared to cut it out for life, I just don't have it as frequently (read every day) and when I do have it, I just fit it into my carb count.

Truth be told, I am rocking it! I keep imagining myself in the lower quadrant and the next thing, I know, poof! I am there. I am sitting in the mid 370's. It feels so good to be on my way to the 360's. I am doing the happy dance! The 200's are in my sights! It's been years since I was down to where I am now and I am enjoying myself right where I am.

I will be at my MIL's on Saturday, helping my hubby to put up her tree. I have already started planning how I will pack some food to take with me. I had been trying to keep my diabetic news on the down low so I would not freak out my mother, but now that I have told her (go me!), I do not have to fret about keeping this "secret." I can be open about actively taking care of myself. It makes things easier about doing what I have to do for myself. There's no hurt feelings in "I am a diabetic, and I have to do certain things to keep myself healthy." I am really proud of myself! Woo hoo!

Here's to a healthy day for all.

What have you done to celebrate one of your milestones, sparkies?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PARKERB2 12/15/2010 1:59PM

    emoticonon all you've accomplished. The 200's will get here as your determined they will! Keep the bubbling attitude and I wish you all the best. 2011 is to be your year! Have a good day and keep Sparking. My nest reward will be a pedicure.

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DIFROMWYOMING 12/15/2010 1:54PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
So proud of you! You're just doing wonderful and GOOD FOR YOU letting everyone know about your diabetes...it does help me from getting too many goodies offered to me during the holidays!
Which can be a great thing....

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BAYBELIEVER 12/15/2010 1:24PM

    Amazing! Amazing! Your spirit is infectious!

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RIGBY31 12/15/2010 12:58PM

    What a milestone... you've turned the corner and WOW!

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LOOKN_UP 12/15/2010 11:23AM

    Way to go! Great outlook! Keep it up and I bet you will beat the diabetes. emoticon

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SUSANS111 12/15/2010 10:56AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SLIGHTLYBRAINY 12/15/2010 9:33AM

    I am happy that you are spreading the news of your diabetes. I know for me, for so many years it was my secret and it kept me non accountable to those around me and in the end, it was only my healthy that suffered.

Congratulations on the 25 pound milestone!!!


Terri =)

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LARIJOY 12/15/2010 9:22AM

    Keep up this enthusiasm, it is awesome to read about your success. I am really proud of you for telling your mother! it really can be easier if the people around you know, it may help them to no offer you temptations, especially if you are planning to keep your own food handy. Again... emoticon

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TRAINER_T 12/15/2010 9:15AM

    emoticonenjoy your reward!

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DONNAEDA 12/15/2010 8:53AM

    I now do not have diabetes. I lost 75 pounds and no longer take any medication and my blood counts are normal. You will reach that goal too, if you stay the course.

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SARAWALKS 12/15/2010 8:12AM

    emoticon

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MEL_UNRAU 12/15/2010 8:11AM

    You are doing so amazing my friend! I am blessed to know you!
(and I bought myself a fancy cocktail ring for 100lbs lost!)

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CRROCKERGIRL 12/15/2010 8:10AM

    Congrats! Go you!

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